Can I Be Your Dying Wish

{Gerard's P.O.V.}

It was a few days after the guitar lesson with Frank, I hadn't spoken with him since then. It wasn't because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know what to say to him, there was nothing to say. After I left that night, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened, the coughing fits. That wasn't asthma, as much as he tried lying by saying that. It wasn't, there was no way. I had to resist the urge to google ‘what makes you cough until you pass out’ but I knew the only thing that would do is tell me he's dying of some new type of mega cancer, so I just saved myself the time.
I decided I had put enough thought to this whole thing, and grabbed a cigarette out of my pack and went to the window in my room, even though I lived alone, I spent most of my time in my room. I sat on the window sill before I cracked open the window, as I always did, lighting the cigarette, taking a drag, then blowing the smoke out the window. I felt my phone go off in my pocket, so I pulled it out, unlocked it, and saw a text from my brother that read ‘Gee, remember that old comic store that's down the street from our house? They're closing, so they're having a huge sale. I can't go to it because I have some things to do but I figured I'd tell you.’
I quickly replied,‘Yeah, I'll definitely check it out, I used to love that place. If I see anything you like, I'll pick it up for you.’
'Thanks, Gee. Have fun.'
I locked my phone and set it on the dresser behind me before finishing the cigarette.
Smoking was a horrible, nasty habit I had picked up in high school. I've tried to stop on numerous occasions, but I always found myself returning to the habit. I swear if I keep at it I'll probably die of lung cancer before I reach 30, not that it really matters much.
I began thinking about Frank again, and how I hadn't spoken to him.
Maybe I could ask him to go with me? Would that be weird?
I grabbed my phone off the dresser and went through my contacts to find his number. I finally found it, not that I had so many contacts that it was hard to find, I just passed it at least four times, because I apparently couldn't read.
I clicked the number, and hesitated before pressing the call button. It rang a few times before he actually answered.
“Hello.” He said, sounding nervous.
“Yeah, uhm , Frank, I have a question.” I spat out, almost too fast for it to be coherent.
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well, there's this, um, comic store. Listen, I know it sounds nerdy and lame, but hear me out, it's a really cool place, it's by the house I grew up in and it's closing down and, well, they're having a sale and I figured I'd ask you to come and hang out for a bit.” I spat out, praying that I didn't sound extremely nerdy, even though I probably did.
"Uh, I, uh, y-yeah. Sure." He replied, sounding even more nervous than he had before.
“Well, I need to do a few things, get dressed and such, and then I'll pick you up.”
"O-okay. I'll see you in a few, then."
“Okay, bye.”
"Bye." I waited for him to speak before I hung up the phone.
After I hung up, I ran my fingers through my hair. I stood up from the window sill and went into the bathroom to see if my hair looked as bad as it felt; it did. It was messy and greasy. I needed a shower. Against my better judgment, I decided not to take one. I ran my fingers through my hair again, ruffling it a bit, before leaving the bathroom and going back to my room. I went through my drawers, finding a clean pair of black jeans, and a black tee to match, wearing all black had become a habit, not sure why, it just did. I proceeded to get dressed and I procrastinated in my apartment for a little bit, checking my hair in the mirror again, and shuffling through my desk that had all my drawings and sketches on it, for no reason other than to procrastinate leaving. I had dwindled away about an hour before I actually left. The drive from my place to Frank's wasn't that bad, only about a ten minute drive. When I reached his apartment, I didn't get out, instead I called him, even though it would have been polite to go to his door. I was too nervous, I'd probably make a fool of myself again. So I just called, it rang four times before he answered,“Hello?”
“Yeah, Frank, its me. I'm outside. Sorry I didn't just come up there but I figured it would be easier this way. I'm sorry if it comes off as rude, I really don't mean it that way.”
"It's alright. I'll be right down."
“Okay.” I replied, before he hung up. It wasn't long before he came out of the building, and got in. We sat in awkward silence for a minute before he spoke,“So do you know what you're going to get?
“Uhm, no, not really. It was my favorite place as a kid, and it's sad that there shutting such a rad place down. I just wanna go to have something to remind myself of the place, and all the memories Mikey and I have in it.”
"Mikey?"
“My little brother.”
"Oh, the one you came out to?"
“Yeah.”
"Do you have any other siblings?"
“Nope, just Mikey.”
"Oh. Are you two close?"
“Very, actually. We never could go out and play with other kids when we were little, so we kind of become each other's best friend.”
"That's kind of sweet in a slightly sad way." He smiled a bit.
“Sad?” I questioned before adding,“I wouldn't want it any other way.”
"Yes, it's a bit sad, don't you think? Children who can never go out and make friends so they end up being the other's best friend. I dunno, maybe it's just me."
“Well I don't see it that way.”
"I guess it's not too sad, I mean you guys are best friends. You have each other."
“Yeah, maybe it is sad in a sense, but honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. You constantly see siblings that hate each other, it's nice to not hate my brother."
"Yeah, I don't think any siblings could really hate one another."
“Well, I've seen it, and that's whats sad, two siblings, hating each other when your sibling should be your closest friend. That's how I see it, at least.”
"Yeah." He said quietly and looked out the car window.
“Do you have any siblings?”
"No." He continued to look out the window as he spoke.
“Are you okay?” I asked shyly.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" He still didn't look away from the window.
“You're acting weird.”
"You don't know me well enough to distinguish when I'm acting weird."
“Well I can't argue with that, but even then, your body language. You're acting weird. I don't need to know you to know that you're acting slightly weird.”
"Really?" He asked, sarcastically.
“Really.”
"Why don't you go on and tell me what I'm thinking then, Sherlock?"
“Woah, snappy much?”
"Someone calls me weird and I'm not supposed to be snappy?"
“You know I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you seem upset.”
"How exactly do I seem upset?"
“You just do.”
"Very solid reasoning."
“You know, you could try being a bit more friendly.”
"I was being perfectly friendly. I was even making small talk. You're the one who disrupted it."
“Well you became distant, and it made it seem as if you're upset.”
"And that is relevant how?"
“I was being polite, so I asked if you were okay, now we’re arguing over- what are we even arguing about?”
"Just a moment ago we were discussing how you know what I'm thinking."
“How about we drop this, we’re here anyway.”
"I'm sorry." He said, quietly.
“Don't be sorry, you didn't do anything. C’mon, let go.” I got out of the car.
He did the same,"So this is the place?"
I smiled,"Yep.”
"No offense, but I can see why they're shutting it down. It looks deserted."
“Yeah, after the kids grew up it kinda went to shit. Even in it's prime it was a pretty slow place.”
"Not many people read comics anymore."
“Not many people ever read comics. Honestly, it's only been nerds like me.”
"Only the really rad nerds, you mean?" He smiled.
“I wouldn't consider myself rad, just not as lame as I could be."
"Well I think you're pretty rad."
“Thanks,” I said, holding the door for him before adding,“after you, princess.”
"Really? You're going to start all that princess shit again?" He asked, walking in.
“It suits you.”
"How?"
“I can't really explain that without calling you cute, or short, and possibly getting hit in the process.”
"I'm not cute." His cheeks flushed red.
“Yes you are, princess.”
"Shut up. I'm not."
“Do I run the risk of getting hit if I call you princess a third time in a row?”
"It's taking all my self control to not hurt you, fucking pixie."
“Pixie?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It suits you." He shrugged, repeating what I said earlier.
“If I'm a pixie, you're definitely a princess.”
"Pixies are cuter than princesses. Pixies are like fairies."
“I must point out, fairies and pixies are small, and uhm, you're pretty short.”
"That's true, but as the princess of the castle, I can say what I want without having to be contradicted by peasants such as yourself, fairy."
“Whatever you say, princess.”
"Bow the fuck down, peasant."
“But the floor is dirty.” I whined like a little girl.
"I don't care. I am your overlord. Bow the fuck down."
"Maybe later.” I smirked before walking ahead of him to the back wall of the small store, assuming he'd follow.
"You think you're really suave. Don't you?" He asked as he came up behind me.
“I don't think, I know.” I said and instead of looking at him, I looked through the comics.
He scoffed,"You're not half as smooth as you think you are."
“That might be why I'm a virgin in a comic store.”
"The reason you're a virgin is probably because you spend time in a comic store."
“Well, yeah, I can't argue with that.”
"You're seriously a virgin?"
I laughed a bit,“Yep.”
"Girl virgin, guy virgin, or both?"
“Both, closeted gay guys don't get much ass.”
"You say that like you'd top."
“Well I wouldn't know, but you say that like you bottom.”
"That's for me to know and you to find out." He winked.
“Are you hitting on me?”
"Come on, you're gay. Can't you tell if a guy is a top or a bottom?"
“Well I have the initial gut feeling, but that doesn't make it one hundred percent right.”
"I'm not too sure I'd trust a virgins opinion anyway." He winked again.
“Stop winking at me, it seems kinda creepy, or like you have a bad twitch.” I laughed.
He smiled,"Oh, honey, it's both."
“Uhm, Frank, your homo is showing.”
"At least I let mine out of the closet, virgin."
“Hey, it's warm and safe in my closet, don't judge.”
"Homos suffocate if you leave them in a closet for too long. They need to make friends."
“Oh, it comes out sometimes.”
"Yeah, when you're jerking off to gay porn."
“Well, I mean, yeah.”
"Still jerking off? That's cute, virgin." He smirked.
“Hey, don't be mean. Like you have tons of sex.”
"More than you have."
"How many people have you fucked though? One?"
"I've had more than one person but I've have each person more than one time."
“In what universe?”
"I don't understand why you don't believe me."
“You're at a comic store with a weirdo from a coffee shop, it's perfectly feasible for you to be a virgin. In fact, it makes sense.”
"Well you do have a point. Even though you're wrong.”
“Whatever you say,” I shrugged before adding,“wow, this place doesn't have anything good left.”
"So you brought me all the way out here for nothing more than stimulating conversation about your virginity."
“You didn't have to come."
"Well when a cute guy asks you to go somewhere with him, you don't really say no."
“But a cute guy didn't ask you, a nerd asked you.”
"A cute nerd."
“I'd use the word cute lightly.”
"I wouldn't."
“Are you in a hurry to go home, or can you hang out for a bit?"
"I don't know. I'm pretty much booked but I think I can squeeze you in. What did you have in mind?"
“So much sarcasm in such a little man.” I smirked.
"Shut up, you think it's cute."
“I never said that I didn't.”
"So anyway, what do you want to do?" He asked.
"Are you hungry? I'll buy you lunch."
"Lunch sounds good, but I can pay for my own."
“Don't worry about it, I got it.”
"I have the money to buy my own lunch."
"But I can't let the princess pay for his meal!"
"I'm the princess and you have to obey me, peasant."
“I'm not letting you buy your own food.”
"Why not?"
“Because, I'm a gentleman.”
"You say things like that and it makes me wonder how you're still single." He smiled at me.
“I'm a nerd, and I'm gay, I don't have many options for dating."
"The options you do have must be crazy, how do they not go for lines like that?"
“Beats me.” I said, laughing.
"So, where do you want to eat lunch?"
“Doesn't matter to me, you choose.”
"No. If you're paying, you're choosing."
“Stop being so difficult, you choose.”
"I want you to choose."
“I already said that I don't care.”
"Well this is more your neighborhood. You said you came here with your brother a lot; why don't you show me some place where you guys liked to eat?"
“Well we didn't go out eating very much, we didn't have the money for that. Plus, a lot has changed, I don't know many places around here.”
"I'm sure you can find us some place that's good."
“There's a restaurant about a mile away from here, it's a small family owned place, but it's good. We can go there.”
He smiled up at me,"See? I knew you'd think of something."
"Come on, let's get out of here."
"Aren't you gonna buy something, for the memories?"
“Nah, I have things from here. I was hoping I'd get something but I don't see anything worth it. Mikey might be a bit disappointed, but there isn't anything worth it here.”
"Poor Mikey."
“If he's really that disappointed, I'll give him something of mine from here, and say I got it today. He'll be fine.”
"Aw, that's really sweet of you." He gave me a small smile.
I smiled back,“Did you want something?”
"No thanks, I'm good. If this was a record store it would be a different story. I wouldn't be able to leave without at least three records."
“I'll remember that. I'll have to call you next time I go to the music store.”
He laughed,"That would be a terrible idea, I'd probably spend all my money."
“I know how that feels, I lose every ounce of self control I have when I'm in the music store."
"I think we should probably avoid the music store or else we'll both end up broke."
I laughed,“That would probably be best.”
"So, are you ready to go to that restaurant?" He asked, still smiling.
“Yeah, let's go.”
We walked to the door and I held it open for him, once again calling him princess.
He rolled his eyes at me,"I'm not really a princess, you know?"
“Well yeah, in order to be a princess you need to have a vagina.”
"How do you know that I don't have one?" He asked, just to be stupid.
“I don't know, do you? That might be a deal breaker.”
"Once again, that's for me to know, and for you to find out." He smiled. I just laughed.
We got in the car and made our way to the restaurant. It wasn't a long drive. We spent the majority of it arguing over the music in the car. Once we got there, we got out of the car and went in. I, of course held the door again, calling him princess and receiving another eye roll. We were greeted by a waiter with a heavy eastern accent, who clearly wasn't too fluent in english,“Hello there! Table for two, are we on a date today?”
Frank and I looked at each other as I felt my cheeks flush red. His did the same before I quickly looked back to the extremely cheery waiter.
“N-no just friends.” I stuttered out.
“Well right this way.” He grabbed two menus and lead us to a table.
We sat down at our table and ordered our drinks. Once the waiter left, we began to talk, just normal small talk. About 15 minutes into our conversation, I noticed that a blonde girl at the table diagonal from us was intently staring at Frank. She was talking to her friend, and making it extremely obvious that she was talking about him.
“I think that girl is into you.” I nodded to the girl trying to be discreet and not make it obvious that I was talking about her.
"What?" He asked, blushing and glancing over at her.
“She's been staring, pointing at you, and giggling for the past ten minutes.”
"Maybe my hair is messed up and that's why she's laughing."
“Your hair looks fine, she's definitely into you.”
"Oh," His cheeks turned a deeper shade of red as he looked down at the table,"it seems a bit rude, don't you think? Staring and giggling at someone."
“I can make her stop.” I offered, smirking.
"Yes, please. She's making me uncomfortable and I don't like it."
I looked up at her, catching her eye, we made eye contact before I spoke,“You're wasting your time.”
"Excuse me?"
“You heard me, you're wasting your time.”
"How's that?"
“You're not really his type.” I saw Frank smile out of the corner of my eye.
“And what is his type.” She asked, laughing as if I was stupid.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Frank cut me off,"Tall, pale, and nerdy."
I looked back at Frank and he was smirking.
“See? You're the complete opposite of his type. Oh, and he's gay.”
Their waitress came back and handed them their change. The blonde wrote something on a scrap of paper before she and her friend stood up.
She held the paper out towards Frank and smiled,"In case you change your mind."
He slowly went to grab it, but I reached out my hand first, taking the paper in my hand and smirking at her,"He won't."
She rolled her eyes and walked away with her friend.
"Can I have the paper?" He asked.
“Why?”
"Because I just miraculously turned un-gay and I want to call her."
“Easy on the sarcasm, and they call that straight, not un-gay."
"Well I call it un-gay. Now give me the paper."
I handed him the paper,"Why do you want it?”
"Why do you insist on keeping it?"
“If I insisted on keeping it I wouldn't have handed you the paper. I'm just curious.”
He smiled,"I just wanted to see it."
“Why though?”
"Just to look at her handwriting. Oh, and her name is Trish."
I scoffed,"More like trash."
"Don't be mean. She's pretty, for a girl."
“Maybe under the makeup, I'm not into the whole barbie doll look.”
"She wasn't that bad. Her friend was worse. But I'm not much into blondes anyway."
“I see where you're coming from, but she probably puts her makeup on with a shovel. She'd be prettier without it."
"Maybe a little bit of eyeliner and mascara."
“Less is more when it comes to makeup.”
"You're a makeup expert?" He raised an eyebrow.
“No, but I have preferences, not that it matters because I'm gay, but I have an opinion."
"You've never worn makeup?"
“Well I have.”
"Really?"
“Yes, but it's not what you think.”
"What is it then?"
“If I go out places that aren't everyday things, like fests or concerts, I wear eyeliner.”
"I've never seen you with eyeliner. Going to guitar lessons and taking a guy to a comic store are just everyday things?"
“Well no, but I didn't want to weird you out.”
"I'm not easily weirded out," He smiled,"oh, and thanks for getting the girl to stop."
“Well next time we get together, I'll be sure to wear eyeliner, and you're welcome.”
"She isn't my type, but I can't imagine that I'm her type."
“I mean clearly, you're at a restaurant with me, I'm the exact opposite of her, genitals and all.”
He laughed,"But I mean her dream guy would be a perfect Ken doll and not some short guy with tattoos."
“That's her loss.” I winked at him.
He blushed and looked down at the table.
I smile at him and think to myself,"You're cute."
I see the blush darken as he speaks quietly,"Oh, um, thanks."
I mentally face-palmed myself as I blushed,"I didn't mean to say that out loud."
He smiled,"You're pretty cute yourself."
“I, uhm, thanks, I-” I cut myself off at that point to avoid making myself look even dumber.
He giggled.
I felt my face flush even redder, as if that was even possible, and I looked down at the table, fiddling with a straw wrapper.
"Doing another perfect impression of a red potato, I see." He joked.
I laughed,“Uh, yeah. Flawless, isn't it?”
He smiled,"You're silly, Gerard."
“Silly? How old are you? Ten?” I laughed.
"If I'm ten, you should probably rethink taking me out to a restaurant. People might assume the wrong things about you."
“You don't look ten, you just act it. Well, I have met taller ten year olds.” I tilted my head.
"Fuck off. I'm not short."
“Yes you are. You're what? Five foot?”
"I wish. I'm four foot nine."
“Awh, how cute. Can I just call you shorty?”
"Fuck off. It isn't cute. I can hardly stand you calling me princess, I wouldn't push your luck by calling me shorty."
“You aren't exactly intimidating. I might exchange princess for shorty.”
He rolled his eyes and laughed,"You're annoying."
“Fine, how do you feel about Frankie?”
"It's better than the other two."
“Fine, I'll just call you Frankie, it's cute.”
"I'll call you geetard."
“You're so mean.” I laughed.
"That's what you get for calling me shorty and princess, geetard."
“But you are short. It's not a bad thing, it's cute, take it as a compliment.”
"Fine. You can call me whatever you want."
“I'll just stick with Frankie."
"I was getting used to princess." He said, sarcastically.
“How about princess Frankie?”
He laughed,"Whatever you decide on, prince Gerald."
"Oh, don't call me Gerald."
"Why not, Gerald?"
“I once punched a kid in school for calling me Gerald. I advise you to stick with Gerard or Gee.”
"I dunno, I kinda dig geetard and geebear. Gerald is pretty rad too, though."
“Geebear? I don't mind that."
He laughed,"Of course that's the one you're okay with."
“Well excuse me, Frankie."
"Don't get defensive. It's cute, but very gay of you. You hate Gerald but allow geebear."
“Calling me Gerald is like calling you Frannie, it's just not my name.”
"Okay, geebear, now that we have nicknames sorted out, what do you want to talk about?"
“You. Where did you grow up? Clearly it wasn't around here.”
"Shitty subject choice, but I grew up across the river in Kearny."
“I've only been there once with my mom. I don't remember why though, but I do remember a record store there."
"I used to live a few streets away from a record store."
“It wasn't a very nice place, kind of run down. An old man ran it, I don't remember the name but I got a misfits record from there.”
"Oh, you must be that dweeb who stole that record," he laughed before continuing,"I went in one time and went up to Mr. Simon and asked him about Walk Among Us and he told me that someone had just bought it."
“That's not stealing.”
"I stole all my moms spare change to get that."
“That's stealing. I just bought a record. If it makes you feel any better, I still have it. It's probably my favorite record.”
"At least it went to a good home."
“Yeah, it could have ended up with some hipster who turns perfectly good records into art, like bowls and shit.”
"How dare they defile such sacred items."
“It makes me cringe.”
"I mean it looks rad but not if it's actual vinyl. Can't someone make faux vinyl so it looks like a record and everything, but you're not ruining shit?"
“Or if they could limit it to only using vinyls that are already damaged beyond saving.”
"Yeah, otherwise you're just ruining art in order to make less awesome art of a different variety."
I went to speak but the overly happy waiter returned and asked for our orders. We quickly ordered our food and he walked away once more. We filled the rest of the time just conversing about music, and things that bothered us, along with a few more short jokes, each one making him roll his eyes. Once the food came and we ate, I quickly paid before he could object. We argued about it anyway, but I still won.
The drive to his apartment building was fairly quick, the time filled with music and random comments.
I parked the car outside his building and walked up the stairs with him.
When we got to his door he turned and smiled at me,"You know you didn't have to walk me all the way up to my door?"
"I wanted to make sure no one kidnapped the princess. The king and queen would have my head if I let something happen to you."
"You're weird." He smiled, letting me know he didn't mean it as an insult.
Before I cold process another thought, he leaned up and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you." He said, softly into my ear.
I felt my cheeks flush red,“I-uh y-you're welcome.”
He unlocked his door and opened it before looking back at me, smiling,"I'll talk to you later, yeah?"
"Yeah, feel free to call me anytime." I smiled.
He smiled back,"Will do, anytime."
I began laughing as he walked into his apartment, both of us saying our final goodbyes for the moment, him calling me anytime and me calling him princess.
I smiled like a fool as I made my way down the stairs, into my car, and to my own apartment.

Notes