Who are you?...Who am I? (RE-WRITE!)

After arriving at the hotel and checking in, Frank and Gerard headed up to their room and crashed for a couple of hours...it was just three in the afternoon here, but their body clocks were still on Jersey time, so it felt like nearly eight. Frank set an alarm for three hours and they took a nap together before dinner.

The alarm on Frank’s phone went off at ten to six and Gerard gasped as he woke, startled by the sound and momentarily confused as to where they were. Frank calmed him quickly, then they got up, freshened up in the large ensuite and changed into shorts and shirts...then headed out.

Hand in hand, they left the hotel and walked to a little open air restaurant they’d spotted when they first arrived. It was right on the beach with a beautiful view of the ocean, and the menu looked amazing.

"What do you fancy baby?"

Frank asked as they looked over the simple but tasty looking array of food...most of which was seafood, of course. Gerard hummed thoughtfully, reading the descriptions.

"Well, this looks good...what do you think?"

He pointed to the Grilled Salmon with Hawaiian Salsa, then looked up at Frank with wide, questioning eyes. It still amazed Frank that Gerard could look so young and innocent...after all he’d been through. He nodded and smiled.

"Yeah baby, that looks really good. I think I’ll have that too."

Gerard smiled happily, then hid his face in Frank’s shoulder as Frank gave their order to the waiter, a rather large native Hawaiian man with a lot of traditional tattoos and a bright, friendly smile. When the waiter had gone, Frank encouraged Gerard to come back out.

"You’re safe here baby. No one's gonna hurt you."

"I...I know Frankie. I know you’ll k-keep me safe."

He smiled softly and snuggled into Frank’s side as they sat and watched the surf...quietly sipping their tropical rum drinks. Frank held Gerard’s hand under the table as they ate, happily enjoying the peaceful setting and the changing sky as the sun sank into the ocean.

"Do you wanna go for a walk on the beach after this?"

He asked, getting a soft smile and nod in return.

"Sounds good..."

Gerard answered quietly.

"Can I t-take off my shoes?"

Frank smiled wide and nodded.

"Of course you can baby, I’m going to. We can dip out toes in the water too, if you like."

Gerard giggled.

"Yeah, I’d l-like that."

After they’d finished eating, Frank paid and they headed down onto the sand, taking off their shoes to walk barefoot to the water's edge, hand in hand. The sun had almost dipped below the horizon, but the sky still held a soft pinkish glow. Frank knew that before Gerard was taken, he would’ve loved to paint that view, now though...he wished Gerard remembered his art, it may have helped with his nerves.

"Are you happy Gee?"

Gerard looked up from watching the water lapping softly at his toes. The setting sun cast a warm glow on his pale cheeks. He smiled serenely, nodding.

"I am. I l-like it here. It’s so qu-quiet and beautiful."

"Like you my love."

Frank said with a smile, reaching up to tuck Gerard’s hair behind his ear as a warm breeze caught it. Gerard giggled, a blush spreading on his cheeks as he looked down shyly. Frank smiled, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s tiny waist and pulling him in close. Gerard snuggled into Frank’s chest, sighing happily as he looked out over the water.

"Can we s-stay here?"

"You don’t want to walk?"

Gerard lifted his head to meet Frank’s eyes.

"No, I mean can we stay here...always?"

"You don’t want to go home?"

Gerard shook his head sadly.

"Jersey doesn’t feel s-safe."

Frank sighed deeply, pulling Gerard back into his chest and softly kissing the top of his head.

"I know baby, but it will. The cops will catch the monsters and you know...I’ll never let anyone hurt you."

Gerard huffed slightly, but then nodded.

"I know..."

He said softly before looking up.

"Shall we w-walk now?"

Frank smiled warmly at him and nodded.

"Of course baby, whatever you want."

He took Gerard’s small pale hand in his again and they started a slow, quiet walk along the edge of the water, watching as the sun finally set, and a beautiful full moon lit up the beach in it’s cool white glow.

*

*

*

It was a little after eleven when they returned to the hotel, brushing dried sand off their feet before heading back up to their room. Gerard leaned against Frank sluggishly in the hallway as the older man unlocked the door with a keycard. Once inside, with the door locked...

"Do you want to shower before bed baby?..."

Gerard shook his head, an odd look on his face that Frank couldn’t quite identify.

"Baby?"

Gerard swallowed, pushing his nerves down as he stepped closer, slightly shaky fingers moving to the buttons of Frank’s shirt. Frank stayed still, eyes watching as his shirt was slowly opened, then pushed off of his shoulders. He let it fall to the floor, then moved one hand up to Gerard’s chin, gently raising it to look in the boy’s eyes.

"Is this what you really want to do Gee?"

Gerard swallowed, then nodded slightly.

"I’m r-ready."

Frank hummed, leaning in to press a light kiss to Gerard’s soft pink lips.

"Ok baby, we’ll go as slow as you need. You want to stop...we stop. Ok?"

Gerard nodded, relief in his eyes and a small smile on his lips as he accepted another kiss, leaning into it and winding his arms around Frank’s neck. Frank ran his hands lightly up and down Gerard’s back to keep him calm as he kissed him tenderly...he didn’t want to scare him again. As Gerard relaxed more, Frank testingly slid one hand down to cup Gerard’s ass, squeezing gently. Gerard gasped slightly, tensing for just a moment before he relaxed again, whining into the kiss and pressing himself against Frank more. Frank could feel that Gerard was getting hard in his shorts, the boy was pressed against him in the most delicious way, so he was sure Gerard could feel him too.

Gerard whimpered, grinding himself against Frank needily.

"F-Frankie."

"Yes baby?..."

Frank moved his lips along Gerard’s jaw to suck and lick carefully just below the boy’s right ear. Gerard tilted his head to give Frank more room.

"Tell me what you want."

Frank murmured against his skin. Gerard whined.

"Need...you."

"I’m here baby. Can I undress you?..."

Gerard whimpered, nodding as his own fingers moved to quickly unbutton his shirt. Frank brushed them aside to do it himself, having Gerard topless in just a moment. He ran his fingers over the boy’s soft pale skin, watching as a pink blush spread over his chest, just as it had done on his cheeks.

"So beautiful..."

He murmured, hesitating with his fingertips on the button of Gerard’s cotton shorts.

"May I?"

Gerard nodded, trapping his lower lip between his teeth as his hips twitched. Frank smirked slightly, undoing the boy’s shorts, then pushing them down until they fell to pool at Gerard’s feet. His breath caught at the sight of Gerard’s hard cock, straining against soft blue lace, already damp from pre-cum. Gerard whimpered and Frank looked up, wanting to be sure he hadn’t frightened him or moved too fast. He was reassured when he saw the needy, want filled look in Gerard’s eyes and took hold of the top edge of the panties, carefully pulling them down until the boy’s hard cock sprung free, Gerard gasping as his knees trembled beneath him. Frank sunk down onto his knees as he slid the panties to the floor, then took them and the shorts off of Gerard’s feet to leave the boy naked before him.

"Please?"

Gerard whimpered needily. Frank looked up and smiled, carefully placing his hands on the boy’s slim hips.

"I got you baby..."

He leaned in and licked carefully at the tip, making Gerard gasp, his hands going to Frank’s shoulders for support. He looked up.

"You like that baby?..."

Gerard nodded, unable to verbalise an answer.

"You want more?"

Gerard nodded again quickly. Frank chuckled softly, then leaned in and took the head of Gerard’s cock into his mouth, keeping eye contact as he slid his mouth further down until he could feel the boy pressing into the back of his throat. Gerard cried out, his knees buckling...he knew they’d done this stuff before, but it was like it was his first time and boy! was it amazing!

Frank pulled off as he felt Gerard’s knees go, even though he knew he could hold him up. He quickly stood and scooped Gerard up, carrying him over to the bed and laying him down before leaning over him to kiss him softly, then standing up to remove his own remaining clothes. Gerard watched him with heavily lidded eyes, his legs unconsciously spread slightly apart, and his cock laying heavy and dark on his pale belly, a small pool of pre-cum collecting in his bellybutton.

"Are you sure about this Gee?..."

Gerard nodded silently. Frank raised an eyebrow.

"I need to hear you say it baby."

Gerard swallowed, then nodded again, more surely this time.

"I w-want this Frankie...I want you."

Frank smiled and nodded, reaching into his bag on the floor and pulling out a little bottle of lube, then crawling onto the bed between Gerard’s legs and again taking the boy’s gorgeous cock into his mouth. Gerard’s back arched off the bed and his toes curled, a porn-worthy moan escaping his lips, and his eyes practically rolling back into his scull. Frank swallowed around the tip as he used Gerard’s pre-cum to lube his fingers. He then pulled off a bit to let Gerard relax as he moved his slick fingertips to the younger man's hole. He looked up to gauge Gerard’s reaction.

"I’ll go slow. If you want me to stop, tell me."

Gerard nodded, lifting his head slightly to meet Frank’s eyes.

"Go ahead...I’m r-ready."

Frank smiled softly, pressing a light kiss to Gerard’s inner thigh before starting to slowly press one finger in. Gerard tensed for a breath, then relaxed, letting his breath out and focussing on the way Frank’s lips felt on his thigh and his finger felt sliding deep inside him. He closed his eyes and breathed, his fingers twisting in the sheets and soft whimpers and sighs slipping from his parted lips.

After a few minutes. Frank moved to two fingers, taking the tip of Gerard’s cock into his mouth again to distract him as he sobbed slightly from the stretch. It hurt, but Gerard had known it would...he also knew that the pain wouldn’t last for long, and that soon everything would feel so much better.

Frank’s fingertips brushed something inside and Gerard saw stars, a high breathy whine leaving his lips as his back arched again. Frank focussed on that spot, adding a third finger after a minute as he continued to suck the tip of Gerard’s now throbbing cock...he wasn’t going to last long.

"Please. P-please?"

"Come on baby, cum for me beautiful."

"But I...I w-want you...inside."

Frank moved his hand that was three fingers deep in Gerard’s ass, to the boy’s leaking cock, using the pre-cum to slick his movements as he started to stroke him quickly.

"I will baby. I’ll make love to you after you cum for me. I want you to cum twice for me tonight...do you want that too? Do you think you can?"

"Yes, ah yes! Please please F-Frankie please ahhh..."

Frank smiled as he continued to work Gerard toward his completion, he knew he would be more relaxed once he’d cum.

"So...c-close."

"That’s it baby, you can do it. Cum for me."

"Ahhhhh!"

Gerard came with a cry as Frank stroked him through till the end, then carefully released his sensitive cock.

"Well done baby. You were so good for me..."

Frank moved up over Gerard’s flushed and sweat slick body, licking a line through the boy’s cum and sweat before pressing a soft kiss over his rapidly beating heart. He then leaned up to kiss his lips tenderly.

"Do you still want me to make love to you?"

Gerard opened his eyes slowly, a blissed out expression on his face as he focused on Frank. He smiled and nodded.

"More than a-anything Frankie."

He said softly, leaning up to connect their lips again.

They made love for the first time in nearly five and a half years that night, reconnecting in the most intimate way possible, and although Gerard felt a tiny moment of panic when Frank entered him, he managed to breath through it, and they spent the night tangled in each other, soft moans and wanton cries filling the air until they eventually fell asleep as dawn's early sunlight began to peek over the horizon.

*

*

*

It was nearly noon when they woke again, smiling softly at each other, in no real hurry to get out of bed. After a while though, they began to realise that the sheets that had been so cool and soft last night, now were stiff, and stuck to their skin in places. Disgusted, but giggling because there was some poor hotel employee who would have to wash those sheets, they climbed reluctantly out of bed and shared a shower...another first in a long time. They washed each other off, kissing and exchanging lazy morning hand jobs before getting out, drying off, then dressing and leaving to go find food.

Nowhere was really serving breakfast foods at this time, but neither of them were overly hungry, and decided on BBQ Pork Tacos that they could eat while they walked. There were a lot more people out than there had been the previous evening, but somehow Gerard didn’t feel all that bothered by them. He held Frank’s hand as they walked and took in the sights, sounds and smells of the island, until suddenly Gerard stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

"Baby? Baby, what’s wrong?"

Frank panicked, standing right in front of the younger boy and cupping his cheek as he tried to meet his eyes. Gerard looked like he’d seen a ghost.

"I remember..."

He breathed after a minute, during which Frank feared he’d lost Gerard all over again. His eyes focused on Frank and a smile spread on his lips.

"Frankie! I remember coming here before...right here...with you, Mikey, mom, dad and your mom."

Frank’s eyes widened and he laughed out of surprise.

"You do?...what, when we were kids?..."

Gerard nodded enthusiastically and Frank grinned, taking both of Gerard’s hands and guiding him over to sit on a bench nearby.

"Tell me?"

Gerard giggled that light, carefree laugh Frank loved and hadn’t heard in oh so very long. A happy tear slipped from the boy’s eye as he recounted the memory of a vacation the two families had taken together. Gerard had been just twelve and Frank was coming up for sixteen, but they were already really close, the best of friends long before they became more. Gerard remembered them laughing as they ran away from Mikey who wanted to hang out with them, but because he was only ten and an annoying little shit at the time, they didn’t want him to. Frank laughed...he remembered that. He remembered how they’d gotten in trouble for ditching him too, and had to spend the whole next day with him on the beach.

"I remember it all so c-clearly Frankie...but..."

Gerard looked down, his shoulders sagging.

"But?"

Frank asked, gently lifting Gerard’s chin with his fingertips to see not so happy tears in his eyes.

"But I still don’t remember anything else. Not growing up, our lives together...nothing."

Frank sighed, gently pulling Gerard to sit in his lap, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.

"It’ll come my love, you’ll remember one day. This proves it, doesn’t it?..."

Gerard looked up questioningly and Frank smiled softly at him, brushing his hair from his face while still holding him close.

"You’ve remembered that holiday, so somehow, somewhere in your mind, all of the rest of your life is just waiting for you to rediscover it...we just have to find the right things or places to trigger those memories...you get it?"

Gerard sighed, a small smile making it's way back onto his lips.

"Yeah, I g-guess you’re right. And I should be h-happy that my first memory to c-come back was a nice one...right?"

Frank smiled, pressing a kiss to Gerard’s lips then encouraging the boy to rest his head on his shoulder.

"Yeah baby, that’s so, so good."

Frank knew the first memory could’ve been one of nightmare like tortures, of rape and pain and horrors beyond imagining. He was so very glad it wasn’t.

*

*

*

That night, after walking, talking and Gerard having a few more tiny flashes of vacations past, they’d gone back to their room, ordered room service and fallen asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms...in blissfully clean sheets.

In the early hours of the morning, with the first glow of dawn just starting to lighten the room, Frank woke up needing a piss. Untangling himself gingerly from Gerard’s arms, he slipped out of bed and crossed sleepily to the bathroom. After peeing and washing his hands, Frank left the bathroom and headed back toward the bed. He was just about to get back beneath the sheets, when a quiet noise caught his attention and he looked over toward the door. On the floor, having apparently been just pushed under the door, was a folded piece of paper. Frank frowned and walked over. He looked out of the spy hole, but the hallway was empty. Frowning again, he bent down and picked up the paper, looking at it curiously. It was folded four times, and when he unfolded it and looked inside, his heart just about stopped. Just two words were written on the paper, words that meant the end of their carefree vacation.

~We're here!~

Notes

Hi there chipmunks, how’s you?

So life's still shit, but I’m still writing...hope you’re still enjoying it.

So smut happened...thoughts?

Until next time...PLEASE COMMENT and peace out babies!
<3