Save Me From Myself *TRIGGER WARNING*

I got out of bed slowly, as if in a trance. Shuffling towards the bathroom door, I replayed the things he had said to me in my mind.

The fight had been bad this time,worse than any we'd ever had. We never fought with fists but the things he said hurt much worse than any broken bone ever could. And after being clean for four months i was going back to my old ritual, giving in to my pain.

We had been so open with each other about our problems, and although his were much worse than mine, he still made me feel validated.

I opened the bathroom door, clicked on the lights, and locked it behind me. He wasn't going to 'save me', as he called it, just to bring me back into the hellhole that was my life. "You'd understand if your arms were completely covered..." he'd said. WELL I WAS READY TO UNDERSTAND!

I slowly pulled out the key and unlocked the cabinet that we'd promised each other we would never use again. But he had promised never to hurt himself or me again, so i really couldn't care less.

I flung open the cabinet door and reached for his blades, they were sharper.(he kept them that way "just in case") His voice resounded through my head telling me how he wished he'd never met me, how i was the cause of his depression and alcoholism. I knew I shouldn't listen to what he had said because he was drunk but there had to be some truth to what he had said. No one would know better than him if I was just a "whiny little bitch who exaggerated my problems just to diminish his and everyone else's.

Fuck.

I just needed to end it, all of it. We couldn't live like this any more and I couldn't live without Gerard. One of us had to go, and he shouldn't have to sacrifice anything more for me, he'd already suffered enough.

I held the blade above the soft, pale flesh of my wrist and slowly lowered it, dragging it across my arm. As the dark red liquid leaked out of my skin and slid down my arm, I started on another, and another.

I worked my way down my arm, slightly wincing at the pain, but reminding myself how I deserved this, how I needed the pain, how I needed a release, some kind of release, maybe even a release from life itself.

Once all you could see of my forearms were the little scarlet lines and the streams of blood running from them, I took the blade to my vein. Cutting as deep as my strength allowed, I ensured that nothing I did or said would ever hurt my true love, Gerard, ever again.

I heard the hurried footsteps of Gerard coming towards the bathroom door paired with his muffled yelling at me to open the door, but he and I both knew that there was nothing he could do to stop me this time.

My vision started to go blurry from the blood loss as he pounded on the door.

But right as i was about to pass out, he knocked down the door and rushed in with tears streaming down his cheeks. he swooped me up into his big strong arms, whispered "I'm so sorry my Frankie.", and leaned down to press his lips to mine.

Darkness consumed me as he rushed out of the door, carrying me and I took my last look at his angelic face. the last thing I heard was his tear-soaked voice in my ear

"It's gonna be alright my Frankie. You'll be alright. We'll be alright baby. We'll make it. I promise..." it was a promise he couldn't keep...

Notes

Okay, so i know i've been away for a really long time. I attempted suicide and was stuck in a mental hospital, while i was there and in one of my many extreme depressive moments i wrote this and yeah, please comment and rate
but thats all for now so...

-helenakilljoyXOXO

(ps. im gonna try and post on my other fics as soon as possible)