I've Gotten Better, Have You?

Gerard doesn't like to remember the Iero house. He hates having to take long hot baths after the same nightmare that's been happening since Gerard was twelve. No one else noticed the way Gerard never left his room, or the way he'd flinch whenever people raised their voices. It was'nt Gerard's fault that he felt the need to have constant sexual interactions with various people to feel loved. Frank Anthony Iero ruined Gerard Way's life, he messed with his brain so much that when he left to go make something of himself, he left Gerard in pieces.
Frank and Gerard weren't involved romantically per say, you see, ever since Gerard was 8 years old his mother would send him away to the Ieros house for the summer while she had sex with as many men she possible could without getting and STD or worse..... pregnant. anyway, Frank was the only child to Linda Iero but she loved Gerard almost as equally.
Gerard knew Frank was not perfect, but yet, Gerard couldn't help but stare at his face whenever he wasn't looking. Frank smoked a lot, and even got Gerard into it when he was only 11. But by then, Gerard had committed to things way worse than smoking.
with Frank being 16 when Gerard was 9, you would think all would e innocent fun, but Frank was a bad boy. He thought of Gerard day and night, in the shower and sometimes in bed at 3 in the morning. Frank just couldn't help himself around Gerard, and Gerard didn't seem to mind the fact that Frank would sleep with him at night and hold his hand when his mother wasn't home.
it wasn't until Gerard was 10 that he figured out what they really were to each other, "were boyfriends right?" Gerard asked frank one night after a light make-out session. Franks eyes went so big that he looked like an anime character, he didn't know how to answer Gerard's question without sounding like a dick. sure Frank liked Gerard, but he was ten and Frank was just a little lonely during the summer, and besides, Gerard didnt know Frank had a girlfriend. so frank stupidly grins and nods his head. And that was that.
the summer of when Gerard turned 11, he walked in on Frank getting head from some pale girl in black pig tails. Gerard never felt true heartbreak until that day, and Frank had never forgave himself. 11 year old Gerard was different than 10 and 9 year old Gerard. 11 year old Gerard was taller, thinner, and was starting to form a pretty perfect jaw line that made Franks mouth water. Franks mum said that Gerard would drive the ladies crazy one day, and Frank would look at him with his big round eyes, but Gerard would just ignore him and smile and agree with Linda.
one night, before the end of 11 year old Gerard's summer at the Iero house, Frank fell into Gerard's room and begged for forgiveness. Frank told Gerard that he loved him. Gerard said he loved Frank too, and Frank asked if he could prove how much he loved him, and Gerard agreed.
Gerard and Frank texted each other everyday since Frank lived in NYC and Gerard lived in New Jersey. They kept in touch with each other for months until it all just stopped. Gerard didnt know why and there was no way he could know. That preceding summer, Gerard went to the Iero house, to find that Franks room was empty of all his things, his mum said that Frank had graduated and moved out to go to collage.
During that summer Gerard barley left his room, he let his hair become greasy and dyed it black in his bathroom sink. He often cried himself to sleep and once he even tried to cut himself. Frank on the other hand, had almost completely blocked Gerard from his mind. to busy with all his school work and parties to worry about some 12 year old boy who thought he loved him.
Gerard has tried to end his life 3 times now. he stopped going to the Ieros house for the summer and started doing weed in his basement instead. at 16 years old, Gerard found himself becoming more and more like his mother every day. Gerard had become increasingly more attractive over those 4 years and now he was the bad boy everyone wanted, and he was the bad boy everyone has fucked at least once.
The alcohol thing was new though. Gerard figured out that if he drank enough, he wouldn't feel. Gerard has gotten over Frank, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't left any damage. Frank Anthony Iero ruined Gerard's life, and Gerard would never forgive him for that.

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