Even If Saving You Sends Me To Heaven

It was Wednesday morning and the new nurse had finally left the room after asking me too many questions, leaving me with my breakfast. I looked down at the dry tuna sandwich with disgust. I hated tuna, but after living for so long with limited food, I wasn’t one to waste any if I didn’t have to. I lifted it up with both hands and slowly raised it to my mouth, holding my breath so I wouldn’t be able to smell the fish.

“Stop!”

I jumped from the sudden sound of the door slamming open and the voice interrupting me. My sandwich was dropped back to my tray and I looked towards the door in shock. Frank giggled as he walked over to me dramatically, raising a Anderson’s bag in triumph.

“Frank, what the hell! You scared me.” I glanced at the time on my bedside table, “And it’s eight thirty in the morning. Why are you here so early?”

Frank giggled again. “I figured you’d be sick of hospital breakfast so I got you a proper one. And by the look on your face, I guess I was right.” He shrugged lightly, and sat down on his seat. I shot a glance over to the tiny window in my door and sent it a hateful glare for letting Frank spy on me before he entered. I looked back over at him. Anderson’s was a pretty pricey place, especially if you were just going for breakfast. “Thank you, Frank.”

He shrugged again and opened the bag, pulling out two takeaway boxes. One was labeled with an X in black sharpie, so he kept it for himself. The other one was handed to me along with a plastic knife and fork and a napkin. He took the tray with the nasty tuna sandwich and placed it on the bedside table. I gave him a thankful smile, before I opened the box. Inside there was a huge waffle topped with peanut butter, banana, syrup, strawberries and what looked like bacon. I stared at it for a while, before meeting Frank’s eyes. They were playful and amused. “It’s called an Elvis Waffle, and it’s incredible. Try it!”

He gave another giggle before opening his own box while slightly shaking his head and grinning. He was having the same as me, but without the bacon. He dug into it with no hesitation; chewing with his mouth open and humming with every bite. I looked back down at my meal and slowly cut a piece. The smell of waffles and bacon was incredible and I could feel my mouth watering instantly. As I finally got the first bite into my mouth, I felt like I was in heaven. I couldn’t stop myself, and started to stuff my face like a maniac. I could hear Frank give a small laugh at me before continuing to eat himself.

“I am so full, I feel like I just ate all of New Jersey!”

Frank was leaning back in his chair, with his legs stretched out in front of him. He was gripping his stomach lightly, while looking at me with a grin. I smiled back and nodded in agreement. I wasn’t able to finish my meal, but it was a close call. It was so full of sugar and grease, and although it tasted like a little piece of Heaven, I needed to slow down my eating to avoid getting sick. I kept the box on my bedside table though, so I could have the rest later.

“I didn’t bring you a newspaper today, I’m sorry. I totally forgot on my way here. Did you know that Anderson’s changed locations? Because I didn’t, so I went to their old place and saw that they were replaced by a nail saloon. Fucking crappy one too. But they were nice enough to tell me where Anderson’s new location is. I was so confused that I forgot to get you the paper.” He glanced over at the growing stack by the window. “But it doesn’t seem like it’s your favorite kind of entertainment.” He grinned after his last statement to let me know he wasn’t offended that I never read the paper. I smiled back at him.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“No, sorry. I just never know what to say.”

He looked thoughtful for a couple of seconds before he spoke. “You could tell me why you’re in here.”

I looked at him with wide eyes. Although I didn’t know how much Gerard had told him, I wasn’t expecting him to ask that. It was pretty personal and if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have had the guts to ask. However, if he didn’t know anything at all and still came to see me every day without really knowing me, it was understandable that he wanted to know.

He looked me up and down, waiting for my reaction. Although his face portrayed a certain amount of uncertainty, he still wanted an answer. I couldn’t decide if he regretted it or not, but the fact of the matter is that he did ask and that there was no taking it back.

I sighed heavily after a while.

“Didn’t Gerard tell you?” He shook his head. “All he said was that you had an accident and that you were hospitalized. He didn’t say what happened.” He sat up straighter in his chair while thinking of what his next words should be. “In fact, I was still kind of getting over the fact that he had a brother. He talked about some guy named Mikey, but he never said that you guys were related let alone brothers. When I heard that you were in the hospital, I was expecting some regular kid with a broken leg from falling off his bike or something, not…” He stopped in his train of thoughts before removing his eyes from me and placing them down at his hands. “Not an obviously underweight guy my own age covered in bruises and blood. When I met you guys here the night you got in, I was-“ “- You were here the night I got in?” I interrupted him. He looked up at me surprised, but didn’t say anything more. He just nodded quietly, before looking back down at his hands.

I couldn’t believe it. No wonder he was dying to know what happened. As soon as I got to the hospital with Gerard, I was out of it. The entire night was a blur and I couldn’t really remember anything until the next morning when I found my brother and Frank talking quietly as I woke up. If he saw me in the state I was when Gerard had found me, it was bad. I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t really want anybody to know, not even Gerard. I couldn’t tell Frank the truth. If Gerard hadn’t told him, it would be to let me decide how much Frank was going to know and I didn’t want him to know anything at all.

“I did just have an accident.”

I knew my answer was far from satisfying, and I also knew that it was a lie. By looking into his eyes that were now directed at me, I could see that he also knew I was lying. He didn’t say anything else though, but gave me a short nod and a slight smile. After another couple of minutes, he excused himself to go to the restroom, but he assured me he’d be back straight away. I nodded as well, disliking the slight tension that grew rapidly between us.

Notes

Kind of a filler again, yikes. But I've given you two fillers in two hours, how about that? Haha.

The story kicks off again in the next chapter.

Word count: 1280