Even If Saving You Sends Me To Heaven

I was too shocked to say anything. Hell, I was too shocked to even think clearly, so I just slowly nodded my head, and finally dropping my gaze to his shoes. They were still shining up against me. I quickly lifted my gaze back up to him when his feet moved towards me. He crouched down in front of me, trying to smile, but whincing slightly in pain, because of his lip, while doing so. I was trying to prepare for a long, awkward talk with him right there, but it didn't come. His hand reached down and he grabbed a rock from the ground next to him, holding it in his hands. His gaze dropped to it, and he stared at it for a while, while just thinking. I followed his gaze and stared at the rock as he started playing with it, twirling it between his fingers. "Can I give you a ride home?" He suddenly asked, and it sounded like he really wanted to give me that ride; there was some kind of longing undertone in his question. My eyes darted up to meet his, but they were only met with the top of his head, as he was still looking at the rock in his hands. His brows furrowed a little bit when I didn't answer straight away. I didn't have an answer. I didn't know if I could trust him. Heck, I didn't know if I could trust myself. Besides, I didn't want to go home! Weren't we supposed to talk? He wanted me to go back to that monster, George, and he even offered to drive me there. He let out a small sigh, before shifting his gaze up towards the leaves of the tree I was leaning into. I could see that he was struggling with holding back tears for some reason. "You're late already Mikey. Walking takes longer, and you know it's only going to get worse the longer he has to wait". Gerard stated, finally letting his eyes meet mine again. I knew what he meant. I knew that I was already in for a "treat" since it was my birthday too. It would be a lot worse if I waited longer. I let him win me over, and nodded slightly. I looked at the cut beneath his eye, and saw that it wasn't bleeding anymore, but it was still fresh. His lip was slightly swollen, and the dark blue shades were getting darker around his eye. I could see another careful smile on his lips, before he stood up. I followed his lead, and nodded again as if to convince myself. He just gave me one final look before turning around and walking out of the school's property. I had completely forgotten where we were when everything was happening, simply not letting it cross my mind, but now all I could think about was how much shit I would be in the next day if anybody had seen us. I quickly forced that thought out of my head though, and kept following Gerard towards his old Volvo. He walked around it and stuck the key into it on the driver's side, before unlocking the doors. He gave me a tiny smile, before opening his door and getting in. I stood there, hesitating for a little while, before opening the door and slipping into the backseat. He gave me a slight look of confusion for getting in the back, but he didn't say anything. All he did was start the car and back out of the parkinglot.

The ride home was awkward. Not a single word came from any of us all the way home. What little hope of finally being able to speak to him vanished, when I saw our ugly, moldy deathhole and the end of the street. He stopped two houses away, not wanting George to know that I got a lift home. For that, I was thankful. I was already in enought trouble, and me getting a ride home would only make in worse. Just as I shifted in my seat, turning slightly to open the door, he turned around in his seat, looking at me. I stopped my movements and looked straight back at him. "If you want to talk, Mikey, I can meet you outside of the Starbucks on Baker's Street tomorrow at noon." He said quietly. My brain raced. Noon was in the middle of our school day. It was at lunch, so I wouldn't have to sneek out during a class, but still. What if I got caught? Maybe I wouldn't get caught, though. I usually sat in a cubicle in the men's room all luch, so nobody would know that I was missing. The Starbucks was only a couple minutes to walk from the school. I might be able to get there, talk to him and get back before luch ended. With this thought fresh in my mind, I slowly nodded again, and I saw his slightly furrowed eyebrows raise in relief, before he gave me another smile. "I'll see you then" he said, and nodded to himself, before dropping his gaze as if to tell me that he really didn't have more to say. I took this as a sign to leave, so I quickly opened the door and stepped out. I was just about to shut the door, before I looked back at him, softly biting my lip. He could sense my hesitation and looked up at me. I took a deep breath, before speeking the first word's to him in so many years. "Uh." I whispered, "Thanks for the ride". I pressed the words out quickly and kind of slurry because of nervousness, but the look in his face told me he understood. He nodded and I saw one last tiny smile form on his lips before I shut the door, turned away and walked towards our house. I could hear Gerard's car pull out and drive away slowly. I was sure he was watching me in the mirror, but had other things to worry about right then; as I took the steps up to the door, opened it slowly, and slipped in.

The house was deathly quiet. I took a deep breath of relief as I told myself that he wasn't home. I kept holding my breath as I went up the stairs to my room. I hesitated on the outside, before trying to calm myself and walked in. A huge amont of relief settled in me when I didn't see George in there either. I closed the door behind me, walked over to my bed and dropped the bag next to it before sitting down on it myself. So many thoughts were running through my head. Thoughts of Gerard mostly. I couldn't wrap my mind around the events that had happened the last past hour. I still couldn't believe he was back. He had been back for a long time. I'd seen him sevreal times just standing around looking at me. Why didn't he come earlier? I thought back to the day I saw him by his car, wearing those damned bright red converse. Maybe he did come earlier. Maybe he wanted to come over that day, talk to me, recue me. I was the one running back into the men's room like a kid scared of thunderstorms running into their parents' bedroom. Maybe all of the times I had seen him was a time he tried to connect with me, talk to me, rescue me over and over again. But why did he wait so long in the first place? Why did he let George... my line of thoughts quickly ended, because as if on que, I heard the front door slam shut. Shivers went down my spine, and I tried to prepare myself already. After a few seconds however, I knew that this day was different. I heard voices talking downstairs. I could clearly hear George; his bass-like voice booming up to my room, but I could also hear another voice. The voice wasn't nearly as loud, and it wasn't as dark either. It was a surprisingly high-pitched voice. The voice of a woman. I felt relief run through me as I thought he was going to fuck some slut instead of me today. Those days seemed to be the highlights of my life lately. However, I froze again when I heard another man talking. His voice wasn't as lound and dark as George's either, but I could still clearly hear that this was a guy. I could hear their muffled talking heading into the livingroom. I then heard George's loud voice say something, before it went quiet.

I held my breath, trying as hard as I possibly could to hear what was going on. Just as I had relaxed a little,I tensed back up I heard George's heavy steps coming up the stairs. I could litterally feel my heart drop. I gripped my bedsheets tightly, not knowing what to expect. When George finally appeared in the doorway, the first thing I noticed was that he was sober. He wasn't smelling like alcohol, and he could stand on his own feet without having to lean into the door-frame. He stood there staring at me for a couple of seconds before his harsh voice went through the room. He told me to get the fuck down into the livingroom right now. I nodded, and he turned away, walking back down.

I was shocked to say the least. He had never done anything like this before. The possibility that he didn't want to embarras himself in front of whoever was down there settled in my brain, and I understood why he was being so nice. I had no place to go, and I knew it would be worse if I waited, so at last I found myself standing up and slowly making my way downstairs. As my feet carried me into the livingroom, I was met with a clean room. There were two people on the couch. A petite, blonde lady with a long, grey coat hanging down below her bare knees was smiling, no smirking, at me. She had bright red lips, and smokey wyemakeup. Hey eyebrows weren' real, she obviously drew them on. The guy next to her was taller, had brown, long hair and a cunning grin on his face. His black jeans were tight, and his grey jacket was a bit oversized. George came over, took my arm and shoved me forwards. I thought he wanted me to say hi in a proper way, but instead he forced me to sit down on the couch. He then sat down on the other one and waited. The guy with the long, brown hair walked over to a bag by the door that I had failed to notice earlier. I looked at him as he pulled a small set of speakers and what looked like some kind of music-player. He put the stuff on the coffee table, before pressing a button. Music blared out into the room, and as soon as it started, the blonde woman took her jacket off. I was beyond shocked to seewhat she was wearing underneath - which really wasn't much. George had got me a stripper for my birthday? Something wasn't right. As the lady started moving to the music, coming over to me, sitting on my lap, I just stayed frozen to my spot on the couch. She started to grind her hips towards mine, and I shot a glance down to see her barely covered private parts dangerously close to my own member. When I felt her soft, wet lips pressing on my neck, a loud moan coming from her while she kept grinding herself onto me, I didn't know what to do or how to feel, but I couldn't help but feel aroused after a couple of minutes. After another while with her movements, every now and then reaching her hand down and touching me through my jeans, I forgot all the hesitation, and lifted my hand, carefully placing it on her thigh. I could hear her moan again, with a slight chuckle following, before she let her hands slide down my chest and onto my beltbuckle. She opened with ease, before unzipping me jeans as well. I was already half hard by the time her hand wrapped around my member, making me let out a gasp.

As her hand started working its magic on me, I felt myself stiffen completely. All thoughs about George sitting on the other couch vanished, and all I could think about was me and her. She let out another chuckle, before she hopped off me, causing me to whine, but then she told me to get up as well. I slowly did as she said, and when I was standing there, she shot her hands down; pulling my pants off. She then got down on her knees, and bit onto my boxers with her teeth. I let out another gasp as she pulled them halfway down my legs, and looking up at my member that was pretty rock hard by now. She wrapped a hand around it, pumping it paifully slow, before wrapping her lips around the tip. I let out a moan, and as soon as she heard it, she stopped, smirked up at me and pushed me back down on the couch. I was ready for her to just come and sit down on me, but that never happened. In stead, she let out a satisfied smile, and turned around, grapping her coat and putting it on. I looked at her in confusion, before the other guy started moving.

He laughed at me, and came over, taking a grip on my hair, and tugging me down onto the floor. At that moment, as I let out the yelp from pain, I knew that George would never want to please me with a stripper. How could I ever have thought that. When I hit the floor, the guy was quick to straddle my legs, he was sitting on top of me, and I could hear his belt-buckle being undone. I gasped in shock, and tried to wriggle my way out of the horrible position, but soon enough, I felt a familiar, large hand grab my hair. George hissed to me that I better shut up and lay still before he pushed my face to the floor. With my face pressed into the floor, I couldn't see that much, but I did see George's member getting pretty 'happy' om the inside of his jeans. As soon as he got that I wasn't about to do anything more, he let go of my head, but kept sitting there. I could feel the unknown guy getting off of me for a couple of seconds, before a horrible pain shot from my backside and into my back as he shoved himself into me with too much force. I let out a scream of shock and pain, but it didn't do anything to stop him. I let out a muffled scream for every time he shoved himself into me, biting my lip and already let the tears start flowing. I could barely hear George grunting, and I could see him rubbing himself through the fabric of his jeans as he watched. The pain got worse for every time that asshole thrusted into me. My tears were flowing down my face, my hands over my eyes as I let out small screams and yelps. However, it didn't take this guy long to come. Just a couple of way too hard thrusts, and him grabbing my own, still slightly stiff, member way too hard for my liking. He let out a strangled moan, skratching his fingers down my back, making me wince out as I was sure he would leave marks. He then pulled out, and stood up after staying there for a couple of seconds; riding out his orgasm. I was sobbing hard now, barely giving myself time to breathe, as I heard the guy getting dressed, saying something to George and then they just left.

I kept sobbing, not exactly knowing what to do next. The past hour or so was horrible. A blur, but a horrible blur. My yelping wouldn't stop, and suddenly I heard George laughing. I slowly lifted my head to look at him, before my face met a huge fist, hitting me with great force. My head fell back down, and I stayed down, trying to become invisible. It was obviously not working, for just seconds later, he grabbed my hair and pulled my head up. "You know," he said angrily, "People aren't allowed to touch my stuff. You know that..." I gave a slight nod, just to keep him happy, but wondering where this was going. "So why the FUCK did you let that filthy son of a bitch fuck you like a whore!?" He yelled into my ear. I looked up at him in disbelief. Was he fucking kidding me? How was I supposed to prevent this from happening? Wasn't he the one letting them into the house? Wasn't he the one just sitting there, rubbing himself, actually getting turned on? I recieved another punch when I didn't answer, this one to purposely force my head back into the ground.

"You need to be punished, Michael" He grunted. "You just never learn". I could hear his beltbuckle, and froze. As he took his belt off, however, what came next was not what I expected. He hit me with it multiple times, making me double over in pain. I turned around, and looked at him, not able to control my tears, my pain, my nothing. He kept hitting me, all of me. It didn't matter for him wherether he hit me through the shirt og on my bare legs and back where the shirt had slid up after recent events.

That night was without a doubt the worst night of my life. Worse than when my mother died. Worse than when my brother left. Worse than the first time he put his filthy hands on me. After hitting me with his belt, leaving me motionless, he fucked me again. The pain was unbarable, and at last I couldn't stay awake anymore. I don't know what he did with me the rest of the night, or how long he was doing it, because I was long gone. Entering the world of cupcakes, unicorns and raibows yet again. Only this time, I wouldn't be waking up anytime soon.

Notes