Even If Saving You Sends Me To Heaven

School the next day was a pain. Suddenly it felt like everybody was looking at me instead of ignoring me. Everybody knew about my dirty, sinful secret. I didn’t know who I saw outside of Gerard’s window, but I knew that there was a person at my school. It had to be; who else? The school day went by too fast for my likings. Even though I felt ashamed of being there, knowing that someone knew about my father and me, school was so much better than at home.

I kept stealing glances at Alicia in history class, sometimes earning a harsh note or the tip of a compass to my head, but I had learned to get away with nobody noticing. Every time I looked at her, her beauty grew. I simply could not believe how this stunning person could sit a few feet away – being so close – but still too far away. I only wish I could talk to her again.

When the bell rang after history, signaling that the school day was over, I quickly gathered my stuff and made my way towards the door. The hallway was already packed with other students; most of the ignoring me, many giving me looks of disgust, and some shoving me or munching my arm as I pushed my way through the crowd of people. As I headed for the main entrance of the school, I saw him again. It wasn’t even sunny outside, but the guy was still wearing sunglasses, leaning back on a pale blue, old Volvo. His greasy, black hair was just as messy as always, and he was wearing all black, except for a pair of bright red converse. I opened the door and made my way out to the cold. I shot one quick glance at the guy now looking at me, before I pretended to have forgotten something, acting it all the way out; stopping up, taking my worn out backpack off, opening it and looking inside before I closed it, turned around and made my way back inside the school. I knew being home late would cost me a beating, but I didn’t want to go out there. My life was hell, but if somebody was going to kill me, I would be that person myself. I quickly made my way through the crowd; and into the men’s restroom. I found a cubicle, and locked myself in it.

I listened to the hallways quieting down, as the people cleared out and left for home. I sat there just a little while after it becoming completely silent before I unlocked the cubicle door, and made my way to the restroom door. I peeked my head out to make sure the coast was clear, and confirmed that it was safe; before I made my way out of the restroom. I walked over to the main entrance door, looking out of the window and saw that the guy had left. I opened the door, and ran all the way home.

I arrived at our house out of breath and weak enough to collapse right there and then. My biggest wish right then was that George was sleeping, or even better; not home at all. I quietly walked up the steps and slowly opening the door; wide enough for me to slip though, but not to the point where the creaking would start. I couldn’t hear George’s snoring, and that scared me. I slowly walked up all the stairs, and carefully opened the door to my room. I couldn’t see or hear him in there, but looked around the door anyways. He wasn’t there. I let out a breath of relief, before I dumped my heavy backpack on the floor next to my bed. I let myself fall backwards and landed on it; trying to relax all my stiff muscles. Being home alone right then was the greatest feeling I had had in a long time; I almost felt free for a while. I could feel I was getting drowsy, but fought to stay awake; to enjoy the feeling. Soon enough though, I gave in and crawled underneath my blanket, allowing myself to slip into an uneasy sleep.
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“Michael” I heard George grunt. I was in Gerard’s room, sitting by his desk and drawing when I heard his voice from the doorway. I turned around in Horror when I heard his voice, as I saw him making his way towards me. I jumped up, and backed away from him as much as I could, but as always; the wall stopped me from going further. His hand gripped my elbow and he pushed me down with such force; I fell to my knees in front of his bulging erection. I looked at the floor, feeling sick while I heard him unbuckling and unzipping his pants. He told me to pull them down at start working. I did as he said, and slowly – full of hatred – took him into my mouth. I worked on him for a while, but he never seemed to finish.

Suddenly, another person walked into the room. I turned around in horror, but felt as if someone had just smashed relief into my body when I was Gerard’s silhouette standing there. The happiness I felt didn’t last long though, as he started laughing; coming closer to us. I saw that his pants were unzipped as he stood next to George… I could easily make out the outline of his erection wanting to break free from his tight jeans. George pushed me off him, and told me to finish Gerard off first. Gerard took me by the hair with one hand, and pushed his pants down with the other. Suddenly, he pushed my head on him and guided me back and forth, telling me to suck. I did as I was told; but it didn’t stop my tears from running down my face. George was standing a couple of feet away, working himself towards a release as I gave Gerard what he wanted; him moaning loudly and forcefully pushing my head back and forth, bucking his hips every now and then; forcing me to deep throat him. After one last buck with his hips, he groaned loudly as he shot into my mouth and down my throat. I had no choice but to swallow, as he kept me around him until I did. After he let me go, he pulled his pants back up, pushed me over and laughed as he kicked me hard in the ribs and walked away. When both were gone (I could hear their laughter from the living room), I sat up just in time to empty what little content that was in my stomach on the floor next to me.

Notes