Gerard tried to tell himself that he couldn't sleep because he was in a strange bed, because he was too excited, because he was too worried, because—he ran out of excuses and couldn't think of anything else. Though he was pleasantly tired from Frank's lovemaking, he felt too uneasy to sleep and finally knew why. He turned in Frank's arms and put his hand on his jaw, loving the feel of his facial structure and the slight rasp of his beard beneath his fingers.

"Are you awake?"

He whispered.

"I wasn't.."

He said in a low rumble.

"But I am now."

Gerard apologized and lay very still. After a moment Frank squeezed him and pushed his hair away from his face.

"Can't you sleep?"

"No. I just feel—strange, I think."

"In what way?"

"Your wife—Lucas' mother. I was thinking of her in this bed."

Frank's arms tightened.

"She was never in this bed."

"I know. But Lucas is in the other room, and I thought this was how it must have been when he was little, before she died."

"Not usually. We were apart a lot, and she died when Lucas was two. That was when I got out of the military."

"Tell me about it?"

He invited, still in a whisper. He needed to know more about this man he loved.

"You must have been very young."

"I was seventeen when I enlisted. Even though I knew I'd probably have to do a tour in Vietnam, it was my only way out. My folks were dead, and my grandfather, Mother's father, never really accepted me because I was half Anglo. All I knew was that I had to get off the reservation. It was almost as bad as prison. It is prison, in a different way. There was nothing to do, nothing to hope for."

He sighed.

"I met Billie when I was eighteen. She was a Crow half-breed, and I guess she married me because she knew I'd never go back to the reservation. She wanted more. She wanted bright lights and city life. Maybe she thought a soldier had it good, transferring from base to base, partying when he was off duty. But she didn't look down on me because I was a half-breed, and we decided to get married. A month later I was in Nam. I got her a ticket to Hawaii when I had R and R, and she went back pregnant. Lucas was born when I was nineteen, but I was home from my first tour and got to see him being born. God, I was so excited. He was screaming his head off. Then they put him in my hands, and it was like taking a heart punch. I loved him so much I would have died for him."

He was silent for a moment, thinking. Then he gave a low laugh.

"So there I was, with a newborn son and a wife who didn't think she'd gotten such a good deal, and my enlistment was almost up. I had no prospects of a job, no way of supporting my baby. So I re-upped, and things got so bad between Billie and me that I volunteered for another tour. She died right before my third tour ended. I got out and came home to take care of Lucas."

"What did you do?"

"Worked ranches. Rodeoed. It was all I knew. Except for the time I spent in service, I can't remember not working with horses. I was horse crazy when I was a kid, and I guess I still am. Lucas and I drifted around until it was time for him to start school, and we landed in Ruth. You know the rest of it."

Gerard lay quietly in his arms, thinking of his life. He hadn't had it easy. But the life he'd led had shaped him into the man he was, a man of strength and iron determination. He had endured war and hell and come out even stronger than before. The thought that someone would want to harm him made Gerard so angry he could barely contain it. Somehow he had to find some way to protect him.

Frank escorted Gerard to school the next morning, and again Gerard was aware of how everyone stared at him. But it wasn't fear or hatred he saw in the kids' eyes; rather, they watched him with intense curiosity, and even awe. After years of tales, he was a larger-than-life figure to them, someone glimpsed only briefly. Their fathers had dealt with him, the boys had watched him at work, and his expertise with horses only added to tales about him. It was said that he could "whisper" a horse, that even the wildest one would respond to a special crooning tone in his voice.

Now he was hunting the rapist. The story was all over the county.

Dottie wouldn't even talk to Gerard that day; she walked away whenever he approached and even ate lunch by herself. Sharon sighed and shrugged.

"Don't pay any attention to her. She's always had a burr under her blanket about the Ieros."

Gerard shrugged, too. There didn't seem to be any way he could reach Dottie.

Lucas drove into town that afternoon to follow him home. As they walked out to their respective vehicles, Gerard told him.

"I need to stop at Hearst's for a few things."

"I'll be right behind you."

Lucas was on his heels when he entered the store, and everyone turned to look at them. Lucas gave them a smile that could have come straight from his father, and several people hastily looked away. Sighing, Gerard led his six-foot watchdog down the aisle.
Lucas paused fractionally when his gaze met that of Pam Hearst. She was standing as if rooted, staring at him. He tipped his hat and followed Gerard.
A moment later he felt a light touch on his arm and turned to see Pam standing behind him.

"Could I talk to you?"

She asked in a low voice.

"I—it's important. Please?"

Gerard had moved on. Lucas shifted his position so he could keep him in sight and said.

"Well?"

Pam drew a deep breath.

"I thought... maybe... would you go with me to the town dance this Saturday night?"

She finished in a rush.
Lucas' head jerked.

"What?"

"I said—will you go with me to the dance?"

He thumbed his hat back and gave a low whistle under his breath.

"You know you're asking for trouble, don't you? Your dad just might lock you in the cellar for a year."

"We don't have a cellar."

She gave him a small smile, one that had an immediate reaction on his fifteen-year-old hormones.

"And I don't care, anyway. He's wrong, wrong about you and your dad. I've felt horrible about how I acted before. I—I like you, Lucas, and I want to go out with you."

He was cynical enough to say..

"Yeah. A lot of people started liking me when they found out I had a shot at the Academy. Sure funny how that worked out, isn't it?"

Hot spots of colour appeared on her cheeks.

"That's not why I'm asking you out!"

"Are you sure? It seems I wasn't good enough to be seen in public with you before. You didn't want people to say Pam Hearst was going out with a 'breed'. It's different when they can say you're going out with a candidate for the Air Force Academy."

"That's not true!"

Pam was truly angry now, and her voice rose. Several people glanced their way.

"It looks that way to me."

"Well, you're wrong! You're just as wrong as my dad is!"

As if he'd been cued, Mr. Hearst, alerted by Pam's raised voice, started down the aisle toward them.

"What's going on back here? Pam, is this br—boy bothering you?"

Lucas noticed how quickly "breed" had been changed to "boy" and lifted his eyebrows at Pam. She flushed even redder and whirled to face her father.

"No, he isn't bothering me! Wait. Yes. Yes, he is! He's bothering me because I asked him to go out with me and he refused!"

Everyone in the store heard her. Lucas sighed. The fat was in the fire now.
Ralph Hearst turned purplish red, and he halted in his tracks as abruptly as if he'd hit a wall.

"What did you say?"

He gasped, evidently not believing his ears.
Pam didn't back down, even though her father looked apoplectic.

"I said he refused to go out with me! I asked him to the Saturday night dance."

Mr. Hearst's eyes were bulging out of their sockets.

"You get on to the house. We'll talk about this later!"

"I don't want to talk about it later, I want to talk about it right now!"

"I said get on to the house!"

Hearst roared. He turned his infuriated gaze on Lucas.

"And you stay away from my daughter, you—"

"He's been staying away from me!"

Pam yelled.

"It's the other way around! I won't stay away from him! This isn't the first time I've asked him out. You and everyone else in this town are wrong for the way you've treated the Ieros, and I'm tired of it. Mr. Way is the only one of us who's had the guts to stand up for what he thinks is right!"

"This is all his fault, that do-gooding—"

"Stop right there."

Lucas spoke for the first time, but there was something in his cool voice, in his pale blue eyes, that stopped the man. Lucas was only fifteen, but he was tall and muscular, and there was a sudden alertness to his stance that made the older man pause.

Pam jumped in. She was bright and cheery-natured, but as headstrong as her father.

"Don't start on Mr. Way."

She warned.

"He's the best teacher we've ever had here in Ruth, and if you do anything to get rid of him, I swear I'll drop out of school."

"You'll do no such thing!"

"I swear I will! I love you, Dad, but you're wrong! All of us talked about it at school today, about how we'd seen the teachers treat Lucas over the years, and how wrong it was, because he's obviously the smartest of us all! And we talked about how Frank Iero was the one who made sure all of us got home all right yesterday. No one else thought of it! Or don't you care?"

"Of course he cares."

Gerard said briskly, having walked up without anyone except Lucas noticing.

"It's just that Frank, with his military experience, knew what to do."

He'd made that up, but it sounded good. He put his hand on Mr. Hearst's arm.

"Why don't you take care of your customers and just let them fight it out? You know how teenagers are."

Somehow Ralph Hearst found himself at the front of the store again before he realized it. He stopped and looked down at Gerard.

"I don't want my girl dating a half-breed!"

He said fiercely.

"She'll be safer with that half-breed than with any other boy around."

Gerard replied.

"For one thing, he's steady as a rock. He won't drink or drive fast, and for another, he has no intention of getting involved with any girl around here. He'll be going away, and he knows it."

"I don't want my daughter dating an Indian!"

"Are you saying that character doesn't mean anything? That you'd rather have Pam go out with a drunk Anglo, who might get her killed in a car accident, than with a sober Indian, who would protect her with his life?"

Mr. Hearst looked stricken and rubbed his head in agitation.

"No, damn it, that isn't what I mean."

He muttered.
Gerard sighed.

"My Grandma remembered every old chestnut she ever heard, and one of the ones she brought out most often was 'pretty is as pretty does.' You go by how people act, don't you, Mr. Hearst. You've voted according to how the candidates have stood on issues in the past, haven't you?"

"Of course."

He looked uncomfortable.

"And?"

He prompted.

"All right, all right! It's just—some things are hard to forget, you know? Not things that Lucas has done, but just... things. And that father of his is—"

"As proud as you are."

Gerard cut in.

"All he ever wanted was a place to raise his motherless son."

He was laying it on so thick he expected to hear violins in the background any moment now, but it was about time these people realised some things about Frank. Maybe he was more controlled than civilised, but his control was very good, and they would never know the difference.

Deciding it was time to give him some breathing room, Gerard said..

"Why not talk it over with your wife?"

He looked relieved at the suggestion.

"I'll do that."

Lucas was walking up the aisle; Pam, who had turned her back, was busily neatening a stack of paint thinner in an obvious effort to act casual. Gerard paid for the items he'd gathered, and Lucas lifted the sack. Silently they walked out together.

"Well?"

Gerard asked as soon as they were outside.

"Well, what?"

"Are you taking her to the dance?"

"It looks like it. She won't take no for an answer, like someone else I know."

Gerard gave him a prim look and didn't respond to his teasing. Then, Lucas opened the car door for him, a thought struck, and he looked at Lucas in horror.

"Oh, no.."

He said softly.

"Lucas, that man is attacking people who are friendly to you and Frank."

His whole body jerked, and his mouth tightened.

"Damn.."

He swore. He thought a minute, then shook his head.

"I'll tell her tomorrow that I can't go."

"That won't do any good. How many people heard her say what she did? It will be all over the county by tomorrow, whether you take her to the dance or not."

He didn't reply, merely closed the door after Gerard had gotten into the car. He looked grim, far too grim for a boy his age.
Lucas felt grim, too, but an idea was taking form. He'd watch out for Pam and warn her so she'd be on guard, but maybe this would draw the rapist out. He'd use Gerard's plan, but with different bait: himself. He'd make certain Pam was safe, but leave himself open at times when he was alone. Maybe, when the guy realized he couldn't get at a helpless woman, he'd get so frustrated he'd go after one of his real targets. Lucas knew the chance he was taking, but unless Frank could find the track he was looking for, he didn't see any other option.

Gerard looked around for Frank when they got home, but he couldn't find him. He changed into jeans and walked outside. He found Lucas in the barn, grooming a horse.

"Is Frank out here?"

He shook his head and continued brushing the horse's gleaming hide.

"His horse is gone. He's probably checking fences."

Or hunting for a certain track, but he didn't say that to Gerard.

Gerard got Lucas to show him how to brush the horse and took over for him until his arm began to hurt. The horse snorted when he stopped, so he went back to brushing.

"This is harder than it looks."

He panted.
Lucas grinned at him over the back of another horse.

"It'll give you a few muscles. But you've finished with him, so don't spoil him. He'll stand there all day if someone will keep brushing him."

Gerard stopped and stepped back.

"Well, why didn't you say so?"

Lucas put the horse in his stall, and Gerard walked back to the house. He had almost reached the porch when he heard the rhythmic thudding of a horse's hooves and turned to see Frank riding up. He caught his breath. Even though he was ignorant about horses, he knew that not many people looked the way he did on a horse. There was no bouncing or jiggling; he sat so easily in the saddle, and moved so fluidly with the animal, that he looked motionless. The Comanche had arguably been the world's best horsemen, better even than the Berber or Bedouin, and Frank had learned well from his mother's people. His powerful legs controlled the big bay stallion he was riding, so that the reins were lightly held and no harm done to the horse's tender mouth.
He slowed the horse to a walk as he approached him.

"Any trouble today?"

Gerard decided not to tell him about Pam Hearst. That was Lucas' business, if he wanted it known. He knew he'd tell Frank, but in his own time.

"No. We didn't see anyone suspicious, and no one followed us."

He reined in and leaned down to brace his forearm on the saddle horn. His dark eyes drifted over Gerard's slim figure.

"Do you know how to ride?"

"No. I've never been on a horse."

"Well, that situation is about to be remedied."

He kicked his boot free of the stirrup and held his hand out to him.

"Put your left foot in the stirrup and lift yourself as I swing you up."

He was willing. He tried. But the horse was too tall, and he couldn't reach the stirrup with his foot. He was staring at the bay with an aggravated expression when Frank laughed and shifted back in the saddle.

"Here, I'll pick you up."

He leaned out of the saddle and caught Gerard under the arms. Gerard gasped and grabbed at his biceps as he felt his feet leave the ground; then Frank straightened and set him firmly on the saddle in front of him. Gerard grabbed the saddle horn as Frank lifted the reins, and the horse moved forward.

"This is a long way up."

Gerard said, bouncing so hard his teeth rattled.
Frank chuckled and wrapped his left arm around him, pulling him back against him.

"Relax and let yourself go with the horse's rhythm. Feel how I'm moving and move with me."

He did as Frank said and felt the rhythm as soon as he relaxed. His body automatically seemed to sink deeper into the saddle, and his torso moved with Frank's. The bouncing stopped. Unfortunately by that time they had reached the barn and his first ride was over. Frank lifted him down and dismounted.

"I liked that."

Gerard announced.

"You did? Good. We'll start you on riding lessons tomorrow."

Lucas' voice came to them from a stall farther down.

"I started him on grooming lessons today."

"You'll be as comfortable with horses as if you'd been around them all of your life."

Frank said, and leaned down to kiss him. He went on tiptoe, his lips parting. It was a long moment before Frank lifted his head, and when he did, his breathing was faster. His eyes were hooded and narrow. Damn, Gerard got to him so fast he reacted like a teenager when he was around him.
When Gerard had gone back to the house, Lucas came out of the stall and looked at his father.

"Find anything today?"

Frank began unsaddling the bay.

"No. I've had a good look around the ranches, but none of the prints match. It has to be someone from town."

Lucas frowned.

"That makes sense. Both of the attacks were in town. But I can't think of anyone it could be. I guess I've never noticed before if someone has freckled hands."

"I'm not looking for freckles, I'm looking for that print. I know how he walks, toeing in a little and putting his weight on the outside of his feet."

"What if you find him? Do you think the sheriff will arrest him just because he has freckles on his hands and walks a certain way?"

Frank smiled, a movement of his lips that was totally without mirth. His eyes were cold.

"When I find him.."

He said softly.

"If he's smart, he'll confess. I'll give the law a chance, but there's no way he'll walk free. He'll be a lot safer in jail than out on the streets, and I'll make certain he knows it."

It was an hour before they finished with the horses. Lucas lingered to look over his tack, and Frank walked up to the house alone. Gerard was absorbed in cooking, humming as he stirred the big pot of beef stew, and he didn't hear Frank come in the back door. He walked up behind him and put his hand on his shoulder.

Blind terror shot through him. He screamed and threw himself sideways, to press his back against the wall. He held the dripping spoon in his hand like a knife. His face was utterly white as he stared at Frank.

Frank's face was hard. In silence they stared at each other, time stretching out between them. Then Gerard dropped the spoon on the floor with a clatter.

"Oh God, I'm sorry."

He said in a thin voice, and covered his face with his hands.
Frank drew Gerard to him, his hand in his hair, holding his head to his chest.

"You thought it was him again, didn't you?"

Gerard clung to him, trying to drive away the terror. It had come out of nowhere, taking him by surprise and shattering the control he'd managed to gain over his memory and emotions. When Frank's hand had touched his shoulder, for a brief, horrifying moment it had been happening all over again. He felt cold; He wanted to sink into Frank's warmth, to let the reality of his touch overcome the hideous memory of another touch.

"You don't have to be afraid.."

Frank murmured into his hair.

"You're safe here."

But he knew his memory was still there, that a touch from behind meant a nightmare to him. Somehow he had to take away that fear, so he could be free of it.

Gerard regained control and eased himself away from him, and Frank let him, because he knew it was important to him. Gerard appeared almost normal through dinner and Lucas' lesson; the only sign of strain was an occasional haunted expression in his eyes, as if he hadn't completely succeeded in pushing the memory away.

But when they went to bed and Gerard's silky body was under his hands, he turned to Frank as eagerly as ever. Frank's lovemaking left him no room for anything else, no lingering memories or vestiges of terror. His entire body and mind were occupied with him. Afterward he curled against him and slept undisturbed, at least until the greying dawn, when Frank woke him and pulled him beneath him again.

Gerard was fully aware of the tenuousness of both his relationship with Frank and his presence in his house. Frank often told him explicitly how much he wanted him, but in terms of lust, not love. He never spoke a word about loving, not even during lovemaking, when Gerard was unable to keep from telling him over and over that he loved him. When the fever of lust passed, Frank might well cut him out of his life, and he tried to prepare himself for that possibility even while he absorbed the maximum pleasure from the present situation.

Gerard knew that living with Frank was for his protection, and only temporary. He also knew that it was nothing short of scandalous for a small-town schoolteacher to shack up with the local black sheep, and another man at that, and that was exactly how the townspeople would view the situation if they knew about it. Gerard knew the risk he was taking with his career, and decided that the days and nights with Frank were worth it. If he lost his job, there were other jobs, but he knew there would be no other loves for him. He was twenty-five and had never even felt a twinge of interest or excitement over any other man. Some people loved only once, and it appeared he was one of them.

The only time he allowed himself to worry over the future was on the drives to and from school, when He was alone in the car. When he was with Frank, he didn't want to waste even a single second on regrets. With him, he was totally alive.

He worried about Frank and Lucas, too. He knew Frank was actively hunting the man who had attacked him, and he was terrified he would be hurt. He couldn't let himself even think that Frank might be killed. And Lucas was up to something; he knew it. He was too much like Frank for him not to recognize the signs. He was preoccupied, and far too sober, as if faced with making a choice when neither of the alternatives was very attractive. But Gerard couldn't get him to open up to him, and that alone frightened him, for Lucas had talked to him from the beginning.

Lucas was on edge. He'd told Pam to be more cautious than usual, and he tried to make certain she never walked home alone, but there was always a chance she'd be careless. He'd also made a point of letting himself be seen alone, and evidently unaware of the need for caution, but nothing happened. The town was quiet, if edgy. He was forced to the same awareness that Frank already had, that with so few clues, all they could do was stay alert and wait until the man made a mistake.

When Lucas told his father that he was going to the dance with Pam, Frank looked piercingly at the boy.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"I hope so."

"Watch your back."

The terse advice brought a thin smile to Lucas' mouth. He knew he could be making a big mistake by going to that dance, that the scene could turn ugly, but he'd told Pam he'd take her, and that was that. He'd have to be doubly alert, but damn, he wanted to hold her in his arms while they shuffled slowly across the sawdust floor. Even though he knew he was going away and they'd never have anything permanent between them, he was strongly attracted to her. He couldn't explain it and knew it wouldn't last, but he felt it now, and it was now that he had to deal with it

Pam was edgy, too, when he picked her up. She tried to hide it by talking too fast and too brightly, until he put his hand over her mouth.

"I know.."

He muttered.

"It worries me, too."

She tossed her head, freeing her mouth.

"I'm not worried. It'll be all right, you'll see. I told you, all of us have talked about it."

"Then why are you so nervous?"

She looked away from him and cleared her throat.

"Well, this is the first time I've been out with you. I just felt—I don't know—nervous and scared and excited all at once."

He thought about that for a few minutes, and silence filled the cab of the truck. Then he said..

"I guess I can understand being nervous and excited, but why scared?"

Now it was Pam's turn to be silent, and she flushed a little when she finally said..

"Because you're not like the rest of us."

That grim look settled around Lucas' mouth.

"Yeah, I know. I'm a 'breed'."

"It isn't that.."

She snapped.

"It's—you're older than the rest of us, somehow. I know we're the same age, but inside you're all grown up. We're ordinary people. We'll stay right here and ranch the way our folks have. We'll marry people from the same background and stay in the county, or move to another county just like it, and have kids and be content. But you're not like that. You're going to the Academy, and you won't be back, at least not to stay. You may come back for a visit, but that's all it'll be."

It surprised him that she had it so neatly pegged. He did feel old inside, and always had, especially in comparison to other kids his age. And he knew he wouldn't be back here to ranch. He belonged in the sky doing Mach 2, marking his place in the universe with a vapour trail.

They were quiet the rest of the way to the dance. When Lucas parked his truck with the collection of other trucks and a few cars, he braced himself for whatever could happen.

He was prepared for almost anything, but not for what actually took place. When he and Pam walked into the rundown old building used for the dances, for a moment there was a certain stillness, a strange silence; then in the next heartbeat the noise picked back up and everyone returned to his own conversation. Pam put her hand in his and squeezed it.

A few minutes later the live band started up, and couples drifted onto the sawdust-covered planks of the dance floor. Pam led him to the middle of the floor and smiled at him.
He smiled back, wryly admitting and admiring her courage. Then he took her in his arms to enter the slow rhythm of the dance.

They didn't talk. After wanting for so long just to touch her, he was content to hold her and move with her. He could smell her perfume, feel the softness of her hair, the resilient mounds of her breasts, the movement of her legs against his. As young people have done from the beginning of time, they swayed together in their own private world, reality suspended.
Reality intruded, however, when he heard an angry mutter of "dirty Indian" and automatically stiffened as he looked around for the speaker.
Pam said..

"Please."

And drew him back into the dance.
When the song ended, a boy stood on his chair and yelled.

"Hey, Lucas! Pam! Over here!"

They looked in the direction of the yell, and Lucas couldn't help grinning. Every student in the three classes Gerard taught was grouped at the table, with two empty chairs waiting for him and Pam. They were waving and calling.

The kids saved the evening. They enveloped him and Pam in a circle of laughter and dancing. Lucas danced with every girl in the group; the boys talked horses, cattle, ranching and rodeoing, and between them made certain none of the girls had a chance to sit down much. The kids also talked to the other people at the dance, and soon everyone knew that the half-breed was going to the Air Force Academy. Ranchers are generally hard-working, conservative and firmly patriotic, and before too long, anyone who had a hard word to say about the half-breed found himself hushed and told to mind his manners.

Lucas and Pam left before the dance was over, because he didn't want to keep her out too late. As they walked to his truck, he shook his head.

"I never would have believed it.."

He said softly.

"Did you know they would all be here?"

Pam denied it.

"But they knew I'd asked you. I guess the whole town knew I'd asked you. It was fun, wasn't it?"

"It was fun.."

He agreed.

"But it could have gotten rough. You know that, don't you? If it hadn't been for the guys—"

"And girls!"

She interrupted.

"Them, too. If it hadn't been for them, I'd have been thrown out."

"It didn't happen. And next time it will be even better."

"Is there going to be a next time?"

She looked suddenly unsure of herself.

"You—you can still come to the dances, even if you don't want to come with me."

Lucas laughed as he opened the truck door. He turned and put his hands on her waist, then lifted her onto the seat.

"I like being with you."

About halfway back to Ruth, Pam put her hand on his arm.

"Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to—uh, that is, do you know any place to stop?"

She faltered on the words.
He knew he should resist the temptation, but he couldn't. He turned off on the next side road they came to, then left the road to bounce across a meadow for about a mile before he parked beneath a stand of trees.

The mild May night wrapped around them. The moonlight couldn't penetrate the shelter of the trees, and the dark cab of the truck was a warm, safe cave. Pam was a pale, indistinct figure as he reached for her.

She was pliant and eager, yielding to his hands, pressing against him to take more of his kisses. Her firm young body made him feel as if he would explode. Barely aware of what he was doing, Lucas shifted and twisted until they were lying on the seat with Pam half beneath him. Soon her breasts were bare, and he heard her strangled intake of breath as he took a nipple into his mouth. Then her nails were digging into his shoulders, and her hips arched.
It was quickly getting out of control. Clothing was opened and pushed aside. Bare skin touched bare skin. Somehow, Pam's jeans were off. But when he slid his hands inside her panties, she whispered..

"I've never done this before. Will it hurt?"

Lucas groaned aloud, but forced himself to stillness. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed, but he stopped his hands. His body throbbed painfully, and he savagely controlled it. After a long minute he sat up and pulled Pam to a sitting position astride his lap.

"Lucas?"

He leaned his forehead against hers.

"We can't do it."

He murmured regretfully.

"But why?"

She moved against him, her body still empty and aching with a need she didn't understand.

"Because it would be your first time."

"But I want you!"

"I want you, too."

He managed a wry grin.

"I guess it's pretty obvious. But your first time—baby, it should be with someone you love. And you don't love me."

"I could.."

She whispered.

"Oh, Lucas, I truly could."

He was so frustrated that he could barely control his voice enough to speak, but he managed.

"I hope you don't. I'm leaving. I have a chance waiting for me that I'd die before I'd give up."

"And no girl is going to change your mind?"

Lucas knew the truth inside him, and he knew Pam wouldn't like it, but he had to be honest with her.

"No girl could change my mind. I want to go to the Academy so much that nothing can keep me here."

She caught his hands and shyly brought them up to her breasts.

"We could still, you know, do it. No one would know."

"You'd know. And when you fall in love with some guy, you'd regret that your first time wasn't with him. God, Pam, don't make this so hard for me! Slap my face or something."

The way her firm young breasts filled his hands made him wonder if he wasn't crazy for passing this up.
She leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder. He felt the way her body shook as she began to cry, and he folded his arms around her.

"You've always been special to me."

She said in a stifled tone.

"Do you have to be so darn conscientious?"

"Do you want to take a chance on getting pregnant at fifteen?"

That stopped her tears. She sat up.

"Oh. I thought you'd have a—don't all boys carry them?"

"I guess not. And it wouldn't matter if I did have one. I don't want to get involved—not this kind of involved—with you or anyone else, because no matter what, I'm going to the Academy. Besides, you're too young."

She couldn't stop the giggle that burst out.

"I'm as old as you are."

"Then we're too young."

"You're not."

She sobered and cupped his face in her hands.

"You're not young at all, and I guess that's why you stopped. Every other boy I know would have had his jeans off so fast he'd have fabric burns on his legs. But let's make a bargain, okay?"

"What kind of bargain?"

"We'll still be friends, won't we?"

"You know it."

"Then we'll go around together and keep things light. No more messing around like this, because it hurts too much when you stop. You go away to Colorado like you've planned, and I'll take things as they come. I may get married. But if I don't, you come on back here one summer and we'll both be old enough then. Will you be my first lover?"

"It won't keep me in Ruth."

He said steadily.

"I don't expect it to. But is it a bargain?"

He accepted that the years could make a difference, and he knew she'd most likely be married. If not—maybe.

"If you still want to then, yeah, it's a bargain."

She held out her hand, and they solemnly shook to seal the deal. Then she kissed him and began putting on her clothes.

Gerard was waiting up for him when he got home, an anxious look in his eyes. He got to his feet and tightened the belt of his robe.

"Are you okay?"

He asked.

"Did anything happen?"

"I'm fine. Everything went okay."

Then Lucas saw that the anxious look was really fear. Gerard touched his arm.

"You didn't see anyone who—"

He stopped, then started again.

"No one shot at your truck, or tried to run you off the road?"

"No, it was quiet."

They looked at each other for a moment, and Lucas realised that Gerard had feared the same thing that had occurred to him. More than that, he knew Lucas had decided to take the chance in an effort to draw the rapist out.
He cleared his throat.

"Is Dad in bed?"

"No.."

Frank said quietly from the doorway. He wore only a pair of jeans. His black eyes were steady.

"I wanted to make certain you were okay. This was like watching Daniel walk into the lion's den."

"Well, Daniel made it out okay, didn't he? So did I. It was even fun. The whole class was there."

Gerard smiled, the dread lifting from his mind. He knew now what had happened. Knowing that the situation could get ugly if Lucas had gone to the dance without backup, the kids had taken it on themselves to make him a part of their group and let everyone at the dance know he was accepted. Frank held out his hand, and Gerard went to him. He could sleep now. They were safe for another night, these two men whom he loved.

Notes

Hi there chipmunks.. How you doing?..

Ok, so I have all the rest of this fic typed up and ready to go, I just need to load the chapters... My question to you is this- Do you want 1) a chapter a day til the end..or 2) all the chapters to go up at once?

Please comment, stay safe, and peace out babies!
<3



btw.. There are only 3 chapters left after this one.. Including the epilogue!! X