You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In High School

Gerard sat in the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee. He was wearing black pajama bottoms and an old, baggy t-shirt, his hair matted over his face, covering his weary eyes. It was six thirty four in the morning. Gerard loved his coffee. Coffee and cigarettes. Especially coffee. It was Thursday today, and although Gerard was already fed up of school, he was eager and almost excited to see Frank. Frank, the mysterious, unnecessarily angry new boy. Gerard understood that he must suffer from panic attacks, because he had only known him three days and had already witnessed two. He wondered why. Clearly Frank suffered from mental health issues like Gerard, but why was it so obvious? Gerard was able to hide his problems from the prying eyes of the world, but Frank didn’t seem to be able to. He didn’t seem to have any kind of control.
Gerard took the last sip and set his mug down on the surface, then headed downstairs to get dressed. He changed, grabbed his black bag and left the house. On the way to school, he spotted Frank. Frank was leaving his house gingerly, and as the closed the gate a crash rattled the house from the inside and he flinched before picking up his pace. Gerard stood still, watching him for a few seconds, but then crossed the street, dodging cars, and caught up with the tiny being. ‘Hi,’ Gerard began, startling the boy.
‘Hello, um, hi,’ Frank managed.
‘So how are you, uh, are you okay?’
‘Yeah, um, yeah, I guess?’ Their conversations were always like this.
‘Good, good. Hey, so I was wondering if you wanted to come over to mine, I’d love to see your guitar playing.’ Gerard queried.
‘Uh, okay, that would be cool.’ Frank responded. They both grunted in unison, and Gerard chuckled nervously.
‘So do you want to come tomorrow?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
The two continued walking, consumed by the awkward silence. They approached the intimidating school gates and headed inside. Gerard was surprised at how well their little conversation had gone at how accepting Frank had been in response to Gerard’s offer.
***
First period was English again and, truth be told, Ms Wood was a bitch. The class filed in, Gerard and Frank at the back of the line. As they entered to room, a spit-ball flew across the room and hit Gerard in the chest, causing him to stop, brush himself down and carry on walking. He had learned how to ignore them. Frank, however, stopped in his tracks and threw the bit of paper back. Crap.
‘Oi! What the fuck? Think you’re so clever, do ya?’
‘Faggot!’ The responses to Frank’s retaliation fired back at him. The bullies were interrupted by Ms Wood entering the room.
‘Right! Sit!’ She commanded. Gerard and Frank reluctantly skulked to their seats at the back, receiving odd looks from the teenagers surrounding them. Gerard rested his head on the seat and watched the time go by.
***
The ten o-clock bell rang and as Gerard exited the room, a taller boy caught him off-guard with a kick in the back of his ankle. Gerard’s legs buckled, he tripped and fell to the floor. He pushed himself up and forced himself to push through the laughter of the crowds, pinching his own hand as he went, in an attempt to block out the intrusive thoughts with a wall of pain. You’d be better off dead. You’re pathetic. You’re a freak. You deserve everything you get. The rest of the day passed by in a blur for Gerard, six long hours trapped inside his head, fighting a war with himself while battling the people around him. English class had triggered Gerard, and once he was triggering, only sleep or alcohol could pull him out of his trance. Thoughts of self-hate were invading his head. Intrusive thoughts telling him he was a freak. Intrusive thoughts encouraging him to harm himself. Intrusive thoughts telling him he was worthless. He couldn’t shake them, and every single one was having an impact on him, as well as his views of himself and the world. Despite all these thoughts, Gerard wasn’t going to change, because deep down, he knew that even if he was a freak, atleast he was keeping it honest by being his own person. By being himself.
***
Biology class. You're an idiot.
Geography class. You'd be better off with scars on your wrists.
Lunch. Just kill yourself.
Free period. You're wasting your life.
History. You're disgusting.
It was only when Gerard arrived home that he realised he hadn't seen Frank since first period. He hadn't been paying much attention though, which was probably the reason for Frank's absence in Gerard's head.
***
Friday. Gerard was meeting Frank today.
After school, Gerard perched on the wall outside the gates, waiting impatiently for Frank to appear. Sure enough, he emerged from the double doors that were the entrance to the school building, the sunshine illuminating any fibres on his dark clothing. That was the only problem with wearing black- in the light you look like a fucking christmas tree, the sun's rays reflecting off any white specks on your clothing.
***
When the pair made it to Gerard's basement, Gerard flopped down on his bed and Frank hovered awkwardly in the doorway, seemingly awaiting instructions.
'You can sit down,' Gerard assured . 'Do you want to plug in your guitar?'
'Yes um, it's here,' Frank replied, gesturing to the enormous case resting on his skinny back. 'Can I use your amp, is that okay?'
'Yeah, sure. I don't use it but yeah, plug it in.' Gerard responded, suddenly excited to hear Frank play
'Okay,' Frank said, unzipping his leather guitar case to reveal an old beaten Fender. Gerard gasped. 'It was my uncle's, my only possession really.'
'I love it,' Gerard grinned. Frank seemed pleased with Gerard's enthusiasm, and displayed the first smile Gerard had witnessed.

Notes

Soo, that's the next chapter! I ended it at quite a weird point, but in the next chapter we will hear Frank play and I may reveal some stuff about his past.
Thanks for reading!
-Gee