Demoralized Prey

Song of the Chapter: The Bird and The Worm -The Used

++++TRIGGER WARNING++++

Frank kept calling after me. I felt like shit ignoring him, but if I didn't, Bert would've gone to town on the words he spat at me. He would've pulled every insult he had up his ass out and fed it to my insecurities.

I started running once I saw the house come into view. Anything to get away from this torture. I had a feeling for what would come next, and as much as I tried to activate my natural anti-depressants that come with my mind, Bert was distracting me too much to be successful. I just wanted to get rid of this disease. Sadly, yet fortunately in the moment, I knew how to, but only momentarily.

I dashed into the house and kicked my shoes off. Then I made a b-line for the bathroom upstairs. But first I needed to grab something from my suitcase. The key to this whole procedure.

My bedroom door made aloud crash as I rummaged through my belongings that were stowed away. My head shot up. Frank stood there, he looked pissed off and worried. I froze. Just my luck. Just as I'd found and retrieved what I was hunting for, he came in and trapped me in the room. The tool was in my hand clear as day. His eyes flickered between it and my face. I looked down at nothing as if it were going to make me disappear.

"Gerard, What are you going t-... you know what? No. I'm not playing games. Gerard give me the razor!" Frank breathed heavily.

"I-I c-can't Frankie. I n-need it for a m-minute." I felt tears reprising in my eyes.

"No. No you don't and you won't. I'm not letting you leave here until I have it." He demanded even though it wasn't an order.

"B-but..." I thought. I couldn't leave, but he didn't have it.

I did. I was holding it. It was in my grasp. I knew I would never forgive myself for doing it right in front of him. He only wanted to help me. He couldn't let me do that to myself. But I could.

With one swift movement, I went from frozen in thought to making four swift slits into my skin. Two on my hips edge and two vertically along my ribcage. I was going for the fifth, but Frank made a quick dash toward me and retrieved the blade from between my fingertips.
It was still too late. It always will be. That moment would have "too late" tagged and engraved into it's story.

The crimson fluid quickly made it's was through my open skin and splashed onto my clothing. I just watched it spread. The pain was so familiar, it was almost welcoming. Nostalgia washed over me. That scared me. I shouldn't miss this. I am not supposed to long for this. This. This feeling of my flesh being exposed. My skin slowly tearing for the first 3.5 seconds. I'm a freak! I hate everything that makes me act like this. I hate being scared!

I could feel the blood draining out of my system. Everything was slow motion. I kept watching. Absolutely enchanted. It was half way down my knee cap. Good thing I hated pants. The way my abdomen felt when Frank lifted my shirt was beautiful. Refreshing even. The cold new air that had now attacked my exposed blood cells, was magical. I felt my eyes getting heavier with every blink, but I was determined to stay awake. Just a little longer. It was quiet. Bert was gone. It was all gone. Peace!

Notes

Here we go
The seats have been secured and we're off
Coaster 104 in motion
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-AToxicKIlljoy