still hiding

As i sit in my chair balling my eyes out i hear gerards faint voice in the distance. "frank why where you crying?" he sounds so worried. "he hurt me, they all did" i say under my breath. "who?"
he says softly but kinda desperately . "AAALEX" i say with so little strength , who knew it could be so hard to say someones name. Its just a word right? my line of thought was interrupted when i felt a pair of warm arms wrap around me from behind me. Was it really who i thought it was? "g-ger-gerard" i utter out."yes" he says. OMFG HE IS HUGGING ME! i start crying harder. Now i just feel guilty. I am drawing attention to myself but i cant stop. The pain i am is just to real! Gerard is just wasting his life on me. He is better off if he leaves me. I will just weigh him down into the dumps of depression and destruction. I dont want to ruin the lives of anymore people. So why cant i let go of hm? This all feels so right at the oment but i know that it will end soon. He proboaly just wants to seem like a ood person. I am like that physically disabled person that no one really wants to help or be around and the only reason people do is so that they dont look and feel like a dick. Thats what i am. No one really wants to be with me, they just want to feel better about themselves. ugh here i go again turning all the best momwnts in my life into some sort of thing i dont deserve.

Notes

heyyy kill joys!! hope you had a nice easter! please comment ways i can improve, sumscribe, and rate. It really helps!! Thanks sooo much. love ya!