still hiding

Why does he look so crushed? He looks like he is in so much pain. I hurt him didn’t I. How could i take advantage of him like that? He was vulnerable and innocent, He had no control and probably needed something to take his mind off what ever he is going through. Also i am a terrible person to veronica. She will hate me. I do want her to leave but i don’t know how to break it to. I cant stand all of this. Being with a female is so hard for me. I wish i could be with frank but i cant right now. Not when he is like this. he looks up at "Gerard whats wrong you look scared" h e says in a soft voice and stutters on almost every word. "I'm not scared. Just guilty. I should not have done that" i say with a nagging pain in my gut. His eyes are starting to well up with tears. WHAT DO I DO?
~Franks pov~
He said he should not have done that. He regretted it. "I'm sorry gerard" I say as i brush my hair out of my face so he can see my eyes. i look up at him and see him looking more scared and worried. "it's my first time so i could not be very good, I can try harder." i look into him hazel eyes and shut mine softly and place my hands on his broad shoulders to prop myself up and i place my lips softly against his. I feel his face getting warmer and i swipe my tounge across his lip and he opens a little and i kiss him passionatly. He really does make me feel wanted. I hope he is enjoying this. I'm really tryng here. I moan softly into his mouth. This has to be working right? i cup my hands on his face and his hands go up my waist . I fall backwards onto the floor. HE pushed me off him! "I'm Sorry Gerard" i sayfrantically and get to my feet and run out the door. I have no idea where i am going. I'm still getting new to this school and havent been on this floor. i keep running trying to find any place for me to hide. HE cant find me. I stop gasping for air. I look around and see the sports locker with all the gym supplies and walk inside and shut the door quietly behind me. I turn around with an awful stench around me filling the room. Its so dark in here. I can't see anything. I sit down and pull my knees to my chest an wrap my arms around them and put my head down trying to stop crying. I can't be heard. I don’t know what i did wrong. my back still hurts from the fall. He is really strong. Was i really that bad? I should have known. Why would anyone actually want me. He probably thought that the kiss meant something so he had to end it. I should not be upset about this. Why didn’t i Expect this to happen. This is what happens every time. NO one whats to be with me or near me. What made me think this time things would finally change? I'm so stupid. I'm pathetic. My thoughts are interrupted my a knock on the door and a soft sweet voice followed "Franke, sweetie i know you are in there. Please let me explain" its gerard. Oh fuck. I stay quiet and refuse to open up.

Notes

sorry killjoys that this took soooooooo long to update. School started agiain and we have been studying for the park tests we have. I'm sorry. I will try to update more often but it mught be hard over the week days.
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