We're reckless but it's okay

‘’Come on man, just once!’’ Mikey shouted from the kitchen

‘’Dude, I don’t like parties. You fucking know that.’’ I groaned. I hate parties. I’m happy being an antisocial little emo fuck. Mikey on the other hand loved parties and didn’t mind being around a shit ton of people.

‘’You can’t just sit there and watch Ridiculousness forever.’’

‘’Watch me. I don’t want to go.’’ I said and winced as someone got a skateboard to the crotch on the television. He came into the living room and stood in front of the television.

‘’Dude, come on. Just once for me.’’ I shook my head and Mikey frowned ‘’I’ll punch you in your dick.’’ I put one hand protectively over it and flipped him off with the other ‘’It’s not like you use it anyways.’’ I groaned and stood up.

‘’Look at me. I’m seventeen, I’m gay, and I go to a Catholic school. I don’t have a lot options when it come to guys that actually don’t mind taking it in the ass.’’

‘’Dude. Just remember I am your brother. I’d rather not fucking imagine you doing anything naked, okay? But come on cumslut, do something for once.’’ I finally realized there was no giving up. Mikey was stubborn.

‘’Fine, fucker.’’ I said and went down to the basement. I didn’t feel like wearing what I normally wear like oversized sweaters, which were normally Mikey’s, skirts, leggings, stockings, things like that. I changed into what were probably the tightest pants I own, a pair of Chucks and a worn out David Bowie shirt. I looked in the mirror at my messy, raven black hair. I ran my fingers through it and it fell in my face face again. I sighed and gave up and ran back upstairs.

‘’Dude, you look like a wreck. Hope ya know that, Gee.’’ Mikey said grabbing a beer out of the fridge

‘’And you’re sixteen, hope ya know that.’’ I said grabbing the beer from him and stuffing it back in the fridge. He groaned and grabbed my keys and tossed them to me.

‘’Let’s just go, fuckboy.’’ He smirked. I pushed him playfully and walked out to my beat up pickup truck. We climbed inside and I drove to the address Mikey gave me.

Mikey climbed out of the truck without hesitation, but it wasn’t so easy for me. I could already hear the fucking music coming from the house. I slowly got out of the car and caught up to Mikey who was halfway up the walkway. He knocked on the door and a skinny, dark haired boy answered the door.

‘’Mikeeeey!’’ the guy slurred out ‘’And, Gerard?’’ he said and furrowed his brow.


‘’Yeah, I brought him with me.’’ Mikey said and nodded

‘’Nice, come on in.’’ The guy led us through the door. There were a ton of people there, and I could feel the panic attack rising to the surface. Mikey patted me on the shoulder hard.

‘’I’m gonna go with Pete. You gonna be okay?’’ I nodded nervously and he left. I stood there taking in the scene. There were people smoking, drinking, kissing. Everything. To fit the scene even more some D12 song was playing. I’m pretty sure it was Purple Pills. I’d rather be at home alone and wasting my life away. My thoughts were interrupted by someone entering the door behind me.

‘’Pete!’’ the guy shouted behind me. I jumped and turned around and took in the looks of the guy. He was shirtless, revealing all of his tattoos. The one on his sleeves, chest, stomach, and even one on his neck. He had a lip ring and nose ring. He had hair that was shaved on the sides and bleached, with one jet black strip of hair that was messy.’’Oh, hey dude.’’ he said walking past me. ‘’Pete! You fucker! I’m gonna kill you!’’ Pete came out of a room laughing.

‘’What? Someone fill your car with porn?’’ Pete asked sarcastically, still laughing

‘’Seriously, I’m gay and you fill my car with boobs and vaginas?’’ The guy asked walking up to Pete. He hit the side of Pete’s head and laughed ‘’You’re getting that shit out of there.’’

‘’Maybe.’’ Once he finally stopped laughing, Pete looked at me ‘’Oh, Frank, that’s Gerard. He’s Mikey’s older brother.’’ The guy, Frank, walked up to me. He studied me and I felt oddly insincure for a second.

‘’David Bowie?’’ I nodded and ran my fingers through my hair ‘’Nice. Wanna drink?’’ I nodded without really thinking and he led me into the kitchen. He grabbed two bears and grabbed my wrist. He led me to some stairs and we entered a room. "Welcome to my room." he said and laid down in the centre of the room. I looked around at all the posters on the walls and the guitar with the letters ’PANSY’ on it.

‘’Nice room.’’ I said and grabbed a beer from him

He laughed and sat up ‘’Thanks. So, how old are you?’’

‘’Seventeen.’’ He almost choked on his beer and looked up at me.

‘’Dude, really? I feel really weird now.’’ he said laughing

‘’Why?’’

‘’I thought you were cute, and I’m twenty-four.’’ I laughed and sat down on the ground. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

‘’That’s a, um, seven year difference.’’ I said and looked at my phone. I had a text from Austin, but didn’t bother opening it.

‘’Yeah. Anyways, what are doing here?’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ I asked stuffing my phone back into my pocket

‘’I don’t know. Mostly parties here are for people who have no future and just want to fuck around.’’ he took another sip of his beer ‘’Then there’s your brother. He mostly comes here because of Pete. He’s a good kid.’’ I nodded and took a sip of my beer too.

‘’I know he is. Then why are you here?’’ I asked and raised an eyebrow. He paused and thought for a second before speaking.

‘’There’s really nothing for me. I can really only play the guitar. I’m already pretty much dead inside. I waste my life away drinking and being stuck working at a gas station.’’ he said and stretched out his legs. I thought for a moment. He can’t really be that bad.

‘’Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.’’ Where the fuck did that come from? I didn’t know I could say something like that.

‘’Wow. That was deep.’’ he said with a laugh. I laughed to and ran my fingers awkwardly through my hair. I really needed a haircut.

‘’Yeah, I have no idea where the fuck that came from. It kind of just came out.’’ I said and chuckled awkwardly. He laughed again and sat down next to me and looked at me.

‘’Are you okay?’’ I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow

‘’Yeah, why?’’

‘’You’re shaking.’’ he said and grabbed my arm. Sure enough, I was shaking really bad. Damn it. I hadn’t even noticed I started to shake. Normally I do.

‘’It’s, uh, probably because I’m off of my anxiety pills.’’ I said nervously. My anxiety was a bitch. I get all shaky and shit when I’m not on them. Then when I am on them I get a ridiculous stutter as a fucking side effect. Fantastic. ‘’Well not really off, I just ran out of them and I haven’t new ones for a little while.’’

‘’Hmh. Why don’t you get new ones?’’ he asked and threw his head back and laid it against the wall. I did the same and looked at him.

‘’I get a ridiculous stutter. It’s a side affect of them.’’ I said and rolled my eyes. He popped his knuckles and made a ‘hmh’ sound.

‘’But wouldn’t the stutter be better than being all anxious and shaky and shit?’’

‘’Probably. I probably just get some more tomorrow.’’ I said and took a sip of my beer. We started talking about a lot of other things. We had a lot in common so it was easy to talk to him. I learned that he loves playing the guitar and wants to be in a band, but he feels like he’s not talented enough to do so. I talked him into playing the guitar for me eventually with a song he wrote as long as I show him some songs I’ve wrote. He told me about the prank Pete played on him my putting a bunch of porn shit in his car.

I told him I was gay and he didn’t seem to care. I mean he was gay too so he would really have no reason to. He wasn’t like everybody else in this God forsaken little Catholic town. He wasn’t homophobic as fuck or a complete douche bag. I found myself moving closer and closer to him and him doing the same. Eventually we were as close as we were going to get without me practically sitting on his lap. His face moved closer to mine until his lips were on mine.

Notes

So this is the other story I've been working on. There's going to be smut really in the story but there's all a reason for that. I hope you enjoy this one... xxx