The Storm

“Hey, Honey.”

“Hey”

Gerard knew immediately she was crying. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry we can’t make it but…”

"KCI is shut down and canceled all flights.” Lucy said wiping her eyes. This storm is dumping snow… it’s the worse snowstorm in thirty years.”

“I’ve called the airlines and they’ve promised to get me on the first flight they can. I’m hoping for tomorrow night if not Christmas morning.”

“The airport won’t open until after Christmas.” Lucy said sadly. “I’ve been watching the weather reports all evening. This storm is gonna continue all day tomorrow.”

“But you are okay, right? You still have power?”

She sighed, “Yeah, it’s really not as bad here. The brunt of the storm is over the Kansas City area.”

He tried to keep upbeat. “Hey, storms are unpredictable. I’m gonna keep hoping it slows down and we’re able to get there tomorrow at some time.”

“Gee, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

He leaned back in his chair tiredly. “Shit, this ain’t right. B and I are supposed to be boarding a plane in the morning so we can be with you.”

“If anything this is my fault.” Lucy said sadly. “This whole idea was stupid.”

What he heard in her voice worried him. “It was not a stupid idea. It was a great idea and still is. I wish we could be there for Christmas Eve but hey, if we can’t we’ll be there for Christmas.”

“Maybe.” Lucy said while staring at the radar on the TV screen.

“Don’t give up hope. This will work out.”

“So you say.” Lucy whispered.

They talked for several more minutes before Lucy admitted she was tired and wanted to go to bed. Gerard promised to call in the morning but he knew as he disconnected the call there was something in Lucy’s voice that worried him.

Lucy walked around the room turning off lights.

“I just knew he wouldn’t come.” She said sadly. “I knew this wouldn’t work out.”

She was about to head upstairs when he cell rang. It was Alicia.

“Hey, girlfriend. How you doin’?”

“Not so good.” Lucy sighed. “Suppose you’ve heard about our epic snowstorm.”

“Snowmageadon”

“Yeah, pretty much. This sucks.”

“Gee’s really upset. He was here to pick up Bandit and he really doesn’t want to tell her.”

“Bandit was at your house?”

“I’ve been watching her since Lindsey left town.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Are you okay?” Alicia could hear the sadness and…something else in Lucy’s voice.

“I’m fine. I mean it’s not like it’s Gee’s fault he can’t come.”

“Exactly, because believe me he wants to be there.”

“Are you sure?” Lucy couldn’t keep herself from asking.

“Lucy.” Alicia wanted to make sure she understood. “Believe me Gee is very upset by this. He said, and I quote, “I just want to get to Kansas. I need to get there.” She paused, “And we all know who’s in Kansas. He loves you Lucy, he wants to be with you.”

Her words make Lucy smile. “I’m just being silly. It’s just because I’m so bummed. Everything is ready for them, you know? I spent hours today fixing the little train that circles the Christmas Tree, I wanted it to work for Bandit.”

“I know how difficult this is for you.” Alicia said feeling her friend’s pain.

“Because you know this is the first time I’ve done anything for Christmas since I lost Rafe and Lizzy.”

“I was sure that it was.” Alicia sighed. “And I’m proud of you.”

Her words touched Lucy deeply. “Thanks.”

“Hey, I know this sucks but it will be okay. Gee said he’s gonna get there as soon as possible.”

“I know but the way it looks I’m doubting KCI will be open until the day after Christmas and he has to get Bandit to Lindsey.”

“Maybe…”

Lucy cut her off. “Alicia it’s only right he gets Bandit to her mother on the agreed day. I know how much Lindsey wants her baby with her.”

Alicia wished there was something she could do but was at a loss.

“Hey” Lucy put up a false front. “Really, I’m okay. Things happen that are beyond anyone’s control. Sam and I will have a nice Christmas together. Until Gerard reappeared in my life that was the plan and it was a good plan.”

“He wants to be with you.” Alicia stressed.

Lucy was too weary to think about this anymore. “Hey, you and Mikey have Merry Christmas.”

“Nice way to change the subject.”

“What?”

“I tell you Gerard wants to be with you and you wish us a Merry Christmas. Come on Lucy, I get what you did. You still think something is wrong, don’t you?”

Lucy sighed, “To be honest I don’t know what I think right now. I know something is wrong, hell he admitted it but he said we’d talk when he got here. But now that’s not gonna happen.”

“But you have to remember it’s not his fault he can’t be there.”

Lucy switched off the remaining lights then headed towards the stairs. “You’re right, it’s not his fault. I’m just in a major funk right now. But it will be okay. Hey, tomorrow’s Christmas Eve and I don’t want to spend the day all depressed. I’ll watch some Christmas movies, have some eggnog…it will be okay.”

“Wish I could give you a hug.” Alicia said softly.

Lucy smiled “Wish you could too.”

________________________________________________

Gerard had just tucked Bandit in after reading her a story when the doorbell rang. He was surprised to see his sister-in-law on the doorstep.

“Hey” He glanced over her shoulder expecting to see his brother.

Alicia sighed, “I’m alone. Mikey is home packing and I told him I had to run to the drug store.”

Gerard ushered her inside. “Come on in.” He was now more than just surprised, he was worried. “Is something wrong?”

Moving into the living room Alicia took a seat on the sofa. “I’m here to ask you the same question.”

Now he was confused. “What?”

“Look, I came alone because I knew if I told Mikey why I wanted to talk to you he would just say I was meddling.” She paused a moment then smiled, “Okay I am meddling but it’s because I care so much about you and Lucy.”

Gerard took a seat next to her. “Good to hear but I’m still confused.”

Taking a deep breath she just blurted it out. “Gee, have your feelings towards Lucy changed?”

“What?”

“Have your feelings towards her changed?”

Gerard frowned, “No, hell no. Why the fuck would you think that?”

“You love her?”

“With all my heart.” He answered without hesitation.

Alicia was relieved but still she pushed, “Then what the hell is going on?”

He misunderstood her concerns. “Hey, I can’t control the weather.”

“No of course you can’t.” Alicia rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say or think that. I’m concerned because you’ve been acting differently towards her.”

“Acting differently?”

Alicia rolled her eyes again but this time added a dramatic sigh. “Gee, Lucy and I talk you know. We’re close. She told me you’ve been acting distant towards her…not calling as often.”

“The tour wiped me out.” He said defending his actions.

“That may be but I think you need to realize something. Lucy let you back into her life, and that wasn’t an easy thing. She’s come a long way making changes in her life. You do realize how hard the holidays are for her, right?”

Immediately Gerard felt sadness. “Yeah, I realize that.”

“She told me she spent hours today making a train work for Bandit. She just wanted to make this Christmas perfect for you two.”

“I know and I feel fuckin’ terrible we can’t be there.”

“It’s not so much being there in person, it’s more about being there for her. For whatever reason you’ve been pulling away and right now she really needs you.”

Gerard shook his head, “Shit, I didn’t realize. You mean she honestly thinks my feelings for her have changed?”

Alicia nodded. “She told me you even admitted something was wrong.”

“Yeah but not with my relationship with Lucy. Hell, I love her so much.” Suddenly he found himself wanting to explain what had been weighing so heavily on his mind. He started slowly a first but soon all his fears couldn’t be contained. Alicia listened, never once speaking until he finally fell silent.

“Gee, you need to tell Lucy what you just told me.”

He nodded feeling drained. “Yeah, you’re right. Shit, I really didn’t have any idea about what she was feeling.”

Alicia patted him on the arm. “You have a lot to figure out. Let Lucy help you, it’s what she wants.”

Long after Alicia left Gerard sat lost in thought.

_________________________________________________

Christmas Eve morning Lucy crawled out from under the covers then immediately crossed the room to look out the window. Snow was still falling and while it looked like a story book winter wonderland it only caused tears to form in her eyes.

“Damn” She whispered leaning her forehead against the cold glass.

She dressed quickly, went to the kitchen to start her morning ritual all the while trying to force herself to remain upbeat. It wasn’t easy. For the past ten years this day, Christmas Eve, had been like any other day of her life. She had refused to acknowledge the holidays, refused to allow any memories from the past to enter her mind. But this year…she’d believed that had all changed.

Standing by the coffee maker, waiting for the brew to start to descend, she whispered, “I’ve changed my life. I remember my past…I have a future.” Immediately in her mind she saw Gerard and Bandit. “It’s all gonna be okay.” She had to believe, she refused to do anything else.

Once she had a cup of coffee in hand she moved to the kitchen door to stare out at the snow covered yard. Seeing Sam chasing snowflakes brought a smile to her face. She was surprised when her phone rang knowing it was still very early in California.

The call wasn’t from California. It was Lisa.

“Good morning Lucy.”

“Good stupidly snowy morning.”

Lisa laughed. “Yeah that sums it up. How are you?”

Lucy understood that Lisa must have realized by now Gerard and Bandit wouldn’t be joining her. “I’m okay just really bummed about the storm.”

“Hey Karl is all ready to drive over there and get you. There is no reason for you to spend Christmas alone.”

Lucy was touched by the offer but refused. “Thank you but really I’m okay. I know you have family over and your house is full.”

“One more person isn’t going to make on bit of difference.”

“Really, thank you but no. Sam and I are just gonna hang out and watch some Christmas movies.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure.” Lucy took a sip of coffee then continued. “Tell Karl I said thanks for the offer and you guys have a Merry Christmas.”

Lisa’s young niece wandered into the kitchen demanding breakfast. “If you change your mind give me a call, promise?”

“I promise.”

“Really Lucy, I mean it. We’d love to have you here.”

Lucy realized once more how wonderful it was to have friends. “I’ll call you if I get lonely but really, I’m okay.”

They spoke for a few minutes more then disconnected. Lucy set down her cell then walked to the kitchen door where Sam was waiting to be let back in.

“Silly dog.” Lucy grabbed a towel to wipe the Labs feet and nose that were covered in snow. “Looks like it’s just you and me.” She said softly.

A few hours later Lucy had just finished developing a roll of film she’d taken earlier in the week when Gerard called.

“Hey, Honey.”

“Hey” She sat down on the sofa, slipped off her shoes, then curled her feet up under her. She heard Bandit’s voice in the background but obviously Gerard covered the phone before he answered.

“Sorry about that.” He said returning to the call. “B wanted some juice.” He sighed, “I see the storm is still going strong.”

Lucy had watched the news this morning but had turned it off when they had predicted snow would continue to fall until late Christmas Day. “Yeah, still snowing.” She refused to let herself be dragged into depression. “So what are you guys gonna do today?”

“You mean since I can’t be with the woman I love what am I going to do?”

Lucy smiled, “Yeah”

“Well I have some friends, Steve and Kayla who live in Downey. They invited us over and since they have a little girl B’s age I figured we’d go. It will help keep her mind off the fact we can’t fly to Kansas. She’s pretty upset, you know?”

“I’m sorry she’s upset.”

“Hey what about me?” He teased “Aren’t you sad I’m upset?”

Lucy was glad to hear he was once more sounding like himself. “No, you’re a big boy.Get over it.”

“Damn this sucks. I want to be with you so badly. Where are you right now?”

Lucy giggled, “Uh, in Kansas.”

“Damn it woman, I know that. Where in the house?”

“In the living room, on the sofa. Why?”

“I’m picturing you in my mind. Is Sam there?”

“Yep, crashed out under the Christmas tree. Matter of fact she laying on the train tracks. If I was evil I’d sneak over and switch on the train.”

Gerard laughed, “But you’re not evil. You’re my sweet woman.”

His words made her feel better than she had in days. “Not always sweet, sometimes I’m down right bad and in need of discipline.”

“Oh woman” He groaned. “Don’t’ do that to me. I won’t be picturing you on the sofa.”

Lucy grinned, “Oh really, will you be picturing me in the barn? Or maybe in the kitchen on the table.”

Again he groaned, “Stop, you’re killing me. Damn I want to be there.”

“I want you here too.” Lucy whispered.

“Well as soon as your stupid snowstorm stops I will be.”

“I know.” Lucy sighed.

He wasn’t ready to let her go. Just hearing her voice had to be enough for now. “So what are your plans for today?”

“I’ve already developed some film but I’m thinking Sam and I might so out and take some more pictures.”

Immediately he was concerned, “Lucy, you shouldn’t go out.”

She laughed, “Just for a walk. Old Bessie doesn’t do very good in the snow. I was thinking of walking into town and taking some photos of the snow covered buildings.”

“Be careful”

“Yes, sir.” Lucy purred.

Suddenly Gerard grew serious. “Promise you’ll take care of yourself, don’t do anything dangerous.”

“Gerard taking photos isn’t dangerous.”

“Hey, I’ve seen some of the shots you’ve taken. I know sometimes you’ve put yourself in dangerous situations.”

His words caused Lucy to realize something that until now she’d ignored. “Yeah” She said slowly, “I have but not anymore. I did that when I didn’t care…” She became chocked up. “When I didn’t care if I lived but that’s changed.”

“God, I love you so much.” Gerard said pouring the emotions from his heart into words.

“Ditto, sir.” Lucy wiped her eyes. “You and Bandit have a great Christmas Eve. Call me later okay?”

“You and Sam have a great Christmas Eve.”

Lucy didn’t want him to worry. “We will. Oh and I think tonight I’ll wander down to Clyde’s. The bar is having a party so I’ll take some of my cookies.”

“That’s a good idea. Tell Clyde I said hello.”

She promised she would then they talked a few more minutes. After the call Lucy felt much better. “Come on Sam” She called out to the sleeping dog. “Lets go take some photos.”

The lab happily jumped up, ready to follow her mistress.

_______________________________________________
At six that evening Lucy changed clothes, put on her happy face then walked through the snow down to Clyde’s bar. Her teeth were chattering by the time she pushed the door open as was hit by a blast of welcome warm air.

“Lucy” Clyde happily greeted her. “You’re finally here. I was getting ready to come find you.”

Lucy stomped the snow off her boots then moved towards the bar. Once she deposited her plate of cookies onto the wooden surface she voiced her confusion. “What?”

“Well I knew you were supposed to be coming down for the party.”

“How did you know that?” She asked as she slipped out of her coat.

“Gerard called me this morning. Gotta say that man is mighty worried about you. Too bad this storm kept him and his little girl from coming.”

“Gerard, called you?”

“Sure did. He wanted to make sure you came down for the party. He’s worried about you being all alone on Christmas Eve.”

Lucy took a seat on the bar stool, “I’ve been alone plenty of Christmas Eves.”

Clyde nodded, “Yeah, too many. But that’s changed, right?”

Lucy looked around at the people in the bar. “Obviously.”

Leaning over Clyde lowered his voice. “Hey, you know what I mean. Still it’s too bad you’re here instead of at home with your fella and his daughter. Gerard was cursing a blue streak at our snow when I talked to him.”

“Was he?” Lucy laughed.

“Sure was. Now how about a nice glass of eggnog?”

Lucy smiled, “Sounds great.”

_______________________________________________

Hours later when Lucy had said her goodbyes and started down the snowy street for home the happiness she’d been feeling was slowly wearing off. It has been nice to spend the evening with several friends but as the darkness enveloped her so did dark thoughts. All evening long she’d been hoping for a call from Gerard but it hadn’t come.

“He’s at his friend’s house.” She reminded herself in a whisper.

Even so, the snowflakes falling on her felt colder than before just as her heart felt empty and cold. Once she could see the lights of her house growing closer tears threatened her eyes. She stopped in the middle of the road to stare at the light display. The whole house was covered in brightly colored lights, a light up Santa and his reindeer, now covered in snow, peered out from their blanket of white. “I wish Bandit could see this.” Lucy said softly.

Slowly she made her way up the drive then to the front porch. As she reached for the doorknob she could hear Sam just inside the door. “Do you need to go out?” She asked the puppy as she pushed open the door. Since Sam rushed past her legs she took that as a yes answer. Lucy closed the door then flipped on more lights. Once her boots were removed and her coat she walked into the living room. The sight of the Christmas Tree with the train underneath brought fresh tears to her eyes.

“Gotta stop this.” She said warning herself. Yet the sadness she was feeling couldn’t be denied. Slowly she walked around the room turning off the Christmas lights leaving only the tree still lit. Slowly she walked over then unplugged the outside lights. Believing Sam should be finished with her business she started to open the door when her cell rang.

Running back over to the table where she’d deposited the phone she answered breathlessly.

“Hi, Sugar.”

“Gee” It was impossible to hide to happiness in her voice. His call, at this moment, was what she needed. However before she could say anything else she heard Bandit’s voice in the background and she sounded upset. “What’s wrong?”

Gerard smiled over at his daughter. “Oh, she’s a bit upset. You see, she’s convinced that Santa can’t find the house without Christmas lights.”

“Oh”

“Yeah, she’s just sure of that fact.”

Lucy wasn’t sure what to say. “Uh, well….

He couldn’t take it anymore. “Honey, turn the lights back on.”

Notes

Just one more chapter...I'll post it Christmas Eve.