The Storm

Time was passing quickly and now it was just days before Christmas. Lucy had been busy trying to prepare for the Holidays but now, as she sat drinking a cup of coffee while looking out onto the snow covered yard, she allowed herself to dwell on thoughts she’d been deliberately keeping buried.

Sam was curled up at her feet but once Lucy spoke out loud the Lab raised her head.

“Something is wrong. I just know it.”

And in her heart she did know it. For the past week Gerard’s calls had grown less frequent. At first she’d simply chalked it up to exhaustion. He’d told her time and time again how much this tour was taking out of him. When he spoke she could hear how tried his voice sounded.

But now, allowing herself to think on this, she realized the first time she’d noticed a change in his attitude had been the night of the Historical Society’s Christmas party. At first she’d happily filled him in on all the details of the night when she’d gotten home. She’s shared with him all the fun she’d had, the music, the gifts, how much everyone had loved her gingerbread cookies…but he’d seemed disinterested.

Finally she voiced the fear that had been slowly growing. “Maybe his feelings for me have changed. Maybe he’s changed his mind about us.”

Sam, sensing her mistress’s sadness, sat up then licked Lucy’s hand.

She was still going over the phone call the night of the party in her mind. “After I told him about the party I even mentioned the phone call from Lynn.” Lucy had been positive he would have been happy about the call because it was a job offer. A job that if Lucy accepted would have meant she would move to California. “Maybe he doesn’t want me to move there.” Lucy whispered.

She could feel herself sinking into depression. Her eyes started to mist when her cell rang. Hoping, no praying, it was Gerard she answered quickly.

“Hola Lucy.”

The sweet voice caused Lucy to quickly wipe her eyes. “Hola Bandit.”

“Mommy wants to talk to you but she said I could talk first.”

“How are you?”

Bandit shrugged almost dropping the phone. “I’m okay. Do you still have snow?”

Lucy smiled as she remembered how excited Bandit had been when she and Gerard had shared the Christmas plans. “Yep, we still have lots of snow.”

“Oh, good.” Bandit squealed. “I wanna go sled ridding. We can we I get there, right?”

Trying to push aside her earlier thoughts Lucy forced her voice to sound enthusiastic. “Well, of course.”

“And make snow angels.” Bandit added happily. “I want to make one of those.”

Lucy could hear Lindsey speaking in the background.

“Mommy wants to talk now.” Bandit sighed dramatically. “But I’ll see you soon.”

Lucy hoped with all her heart that was still going to happen. “See you soon.”

Lindsey took the phone from her daughter. “Hi, Lucy.”

“Hi Lindsey.”

“I meant to call a few days ago but I’ve been so busy.” Lindsey sat down tiredly on the sofa. “I wanted to thank you for the photos you sent.”

Lucy smiled “I’m glad you like them.”

“The one you took at the zoo…where Bandit is reaching out to pet the lama?”

“Yes”

“I’m framing that one. It’s adorable.”

“That was my favorite.” Lucy admitted.

Lindsey watched as Bandit selected a crayon to continue work on her latest art masterpiece. “B is really excited about spending Christmas Eve with you. Gee told me how you’ve been decorating and getting ready.”

Immediately Lucy wondered what else Gerard and his ex talked about but she shoved that thought away. “Yep, I’ve gone all out. Every inch of the house is decorated.”

Lindsey wondered why Lucy’s voice didn’t match her words. She sounded almost unhappy. Getting to the real point of the call she continued, “So anyway, my plans have changed a bit and I’m taking off for the East coast a day earlier. I’ve been working on getting B all packed for her trip but I wanted to ask Gee a few questions only thing is he’s not returned my calls. I was wondering if you could have him call me.”

“Oh” Lucy tried to gather her thoughts. “Uh, actually I haven’t talked to him since yesterday morning…but when he does call I’ll tell him to call you.”

Now Lucy’s sadness was making more sense to Lindsey however curiosity got the better of her. “I would have thought you two were keeping in contact almost constantly.”

It was hard for Lucy not to bristle. “He’s been very tired.” She said quickly trying to defend Gerard’s actions.

Lindsey realized she’d hit a nerve. “Yeah, touring is a bitch. I’m sure he is exhausted. Hey, just forget about telling him to call. I’ll figure things out.” She saw Bandit move towards her.
“Uh, B want to tell you goodbye.”

“Sure" Lucy whispered closing her eyes.

“Adios” Bandit said happily into the phone.

“Adios” Lucy responded.

“See you soon.”

Lucy hoped with all her heart that was true.

______________________________________________

“Hey can you talk?”

Mikey threw his jacket on the bed then took a seat next to it. “Sure, I just got back to the hotel from a radio interview. What’s up?”

“You alone?”

Mikey frowned, “Yeah, why?”

Alicia sighed, “What’s going on with Gee?”

“What do you mean?”

Recalling the conversation she’d just had with Lindsey she explained, “I’ve heard he’s acting strange.”

“Strange? What do you mean? Who said so?”

“Okay maybe not strange but….”

“Honey, what’s going on?” Mikey was completely confused now.

“I just talked to Lindsey who had just talked to Lucy. Lucy told her that Gee hasn’t called since yesterday morning. Last I heard he was calling her ten times a day.”

This was news to Mikey. “Yeah, he has been. Is Lucy upset?”

“Lindsey said she could tell by Lucy’s voice she was upset.”

Mikey laughed, “You women and your ability to tell how someone is feeling by their voice.”

“Michael this isn’t funny.”

“Look, I didn’t say it was but don’t you think you guys are being a little dramatic? Gee was really wiped out last night after the show. He went directly to his room and probably fell asleep.”

“Last time I talked to Lucy she said he called after every show.”

“And he probably does.” Mikey reasoned, “But like I said last night he was really tired.”

“And he doesn’t seem different?”

Mikey stated to laugh again but suddenly her question caused him to think. Now that he considered it he did think Gee had become a bit quiet. “I just think he’s tired and wants the tour to be over. I know he’s really looking forward to spending Christmas with Lucy and Bandit?”

“Are you sure?”

Not wanting to alarm his wife he answered, “Yeah, I’m sure. Uh, so why did Lindsey call Lucy anyway?”

“Bandit wanted to talk to her and Lindsey wanted to thank her for the photos she sent.”

“That’s nice.”

Alicia sighed, “Yeah, it’s nice Lindsey and Lucy get along. Lindsey really likes her that’s why she called me because she’s afraid Lucy’s upset.”

“There is nothing for anyone to worry about. We’ll he home soon then Gee and Bandit will he spending Christmas Eve with Lucy.”

As soon as he finished talking to Alicia he headed down to his brother’s room. Maybe the women were right, maybe something was wrong.

Gerard sighed when he heard the knock on the door. He didn’t want to be disturbed, not now.

“Hey” Mikey smiled as Gerard stepped back to let him enter. “Uh, I was wondering if you’d changed your mind and want to grab some lunch?”

Gerard closed the door then turned to his brother. “Thought I was pretty clear on that…I’m not hungry.”

Mikey was surprised by the anger he could hear in his brother’s voice. “Okay…” He glanced over at the open laptop. “So what you doin’?”

Gerard walked over to the laptop and slammed it shut. “Nothing.”

Now Mikey’s concern was growing rapidly. “Gee, what’s wrong?”

His anger faded when he saw the concern in Mikey’s eyes. “Nothing is wrong. I was just working on my story.”

“The story you started in Kansas?”

Gerard took a seat on the bed. “God, that seems like a lifetime ago…yeah, the story I started in Kansas.”

Mikey wasn’t sure what was wrong so he tried to tread lightly, “Guess it’s giving you some problems?”

“It’s not really the stupid story….” He couldn’t talk about this.

“Then what?”

Gerard tried to think of a way to answer the question that would satisfy his brother. “I’m just having a bit of trouble with the ending. I mean I thought I knew how it ended but now I’m not sure.”

Mikey still was confused, “But it’s your story so it’s your ending. Just end it the way you want.”

“If only it was that easy.” Gerard whispered.

Mikey walked over to sit beside him on the bed. “Gee, is something else wrong?”

Again he couldn’t talk about this, not now, not while he still was undecided. “Nothing Bro.” He forced himself to smile. “I’m just tired.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Gerard lied. “Just tired. Think I’ll take a nap.”

Mikey stood, “You know I think I might do that after a grab a bite to eat.” He started for the door. “So, see you in a few hours.”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, in a few hours.”

As soon as he closed the door he returned to the deck then opened the laptop. “Shit” He whispered while staring at the screen. Deciding it was useless to keep trying to work on the story he opened another tab. However, what he saw there depressed him even more. Soon he’d have to make the decision, it was time. If only he could talk to someone, but in his heart he felt he had to make this decision alone.

_____________________________________________

Lucy glanced at the clock for the hundredth time. It was past 1:00 am and Gerard still hadn’t called.

“Okay” Lucy picked up her cell while trying to calm her nerves. “This is stupid. I’ll just call him.”

Sam who had been napping in front of the wood stove began to wag her tail.

She took a deep breath while listening to the phone ring.

“Hey” His voice sounded wrong.

Lucy tried to keep her tone upbeat. “Hey, you. I got tired of waiting for you to call.” While she tried to make it sound as if she was teasing there was an underlying tone in her voice.

Gerard flopped back on the bed. “Sorry.”

“How was the concert?”

That was the last thing he wanted to talk about. “Fine”

His one word answer made Lucy sure something was wrong. “Just fine? Gee, what’s wrong?”

It was hard to hold his temper, that question was one he was tired of hearing. “Nothing is wrong. Can’t a guy just be tired?”

Lucy was shocked by his tone yet she tried to downplay his answer. “Sure he can. So are you back at the hotel?”

“Yeah, I just got out of the shower.” He closed his eyes then sighed heavily.

Lucy couldn’t take it anymore, “Please tell me what’s going on? I can tell something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.” He snapped. “I’m just tired, I want to go home and now my flight for tomorrow got bumped back.”

“Oh”

When he remained silent Lucy spoke again. “Well I’ll let you go…”

He knew he’s hurt her feelings. “Honey, I’m sorry. I’m just in a shitty mood.”

“It’s okay.” She whispered clutching the cell tightly.

“No, it’s not.” He rubbed his forehead, “Look, I fly home tomorrow then the next day me and Bandit fly to Kansas. We can talk in person.”

Fear made Lucy’s heart beat faster.

Gerard had no idea how she was feeling because he was so consumed with his own fears.

Trying desperately to believe things were okay Lucy spoke. “I talked to Bandit today.”

“Yeah, Lindsey told me.”

Now Lucy felt hurt. He’d obviously found the time to call Lindsey.

Gerard sat up and stretched his tired muscles. “So did you have a nice talk with Bandit?”

“She just wanted to know if we still have snow on the ground.”

“Yeah, she pretty psyched about the snow.”

Another unwanted thought popped into Lucy’s head, “They are predicting another snow storm.”

Gerard groaned “That would just be my shittin’ luck, our flight would get canceled.”

At this point Lucy wasn’t so sure he honestly felt that would be a bad thing.

Glancing over at the clock Gerard groaned again. “Shit, I gotta get some sleep. Since our flight got bumped back they booked up on an early morning radio show. I gotta get up at 5 a.m.”

“Then you better get to bed.” Lucy wanted to retreat to her own bed, close her eyes and not think about anything.

“Yeah” He stood then moved towards the bathroom. Still unaware that Lucy was upset he continued, “Can’t wait to see you.”

Suddenly she just wanted the call to end. “Take care.”

Gerard who was now standing in front of the mirror frowned at his reflection. Her last comment had sounded strange. “Uh, aren’t you supposed to say you can’t wait to see me too?”

A tear rolled down her cheek. Something was definitely wrong and he wasn’t being honest with her…again. “Can’t wait to see you.” She whispered.

“Day after tomorrow B and I will be on our way to see you.”

“Right” Lucy leaned back tiredly. “Day after tomorrow.”

He was about to say goodbye when words he’d tried to keep silent escaped his lips. “Lucy, I’m sorta lost right now, I wish I could explain but….”

“It’s okay”

“It will be.” Gerard stared at his reflection, “It will be.”

______________________________________________

The next day Lucy awoke with a new resolve to keep a positive attitude. Gerard had admitted something was wrong, he’d said he was lost but that things would be okay. She had to hold on to that, she had to believe. By mid morning she’d baked two dozen sugar cookies, had gone over her menu for Christmas Eve dinner three times and had Christmas music blaring through the house.

At noon she decided to enjoy a cup of hot mulled cider and had just sat down when her phone rang. Seeing it was Alicia she muted the music then answered. “Hey, A…what’s new?”

Alicia was surprised by Lucy’s upbeat attitude. When she’d spoken to her last Lucy had seemed sad and withdrawn. “Not much new here…just packing. What’s new with you? You seem mighty happy.”

“I am happy.” Lucy giggled, “Gee and Bandit will be here tomorrow. My house is decorated to the max, I’ve got a kitchen full of sugar cookies waiting to be frosted, Christmas music playing and I’m drinking mulled apple cider.” She looked around smiling “Things are good.”

“I’m glad to hear you sounding so much better.” Alicia said without really thinking.

Lucy sat down her mug of cider. “What?”

Too late Alicia wished she’d kept that last comment to herself. “Uh, I just meant you sound really happy.”

“Because the last couple of times we talked I didn’t, right?”

Trying to downplay her comment Alicia said, “Well you sounded sorta sad but I’m sure that’s just because you’ve been missing Gerard.”

At first Lucy hadn’t wanted to dwell on this but now she found herself wanting to confide in her friend. “He hasn’t been calling very much and when he does…something is wrong. I just know it.”

Alicia had been afraid of this. “Hey, I’m sure he’s just tired and wants to get home.”

“Yes, home. His home, his life in California.”

“Oh Lucy, that’s not what I meant. He loves you, you have to know that.”

“I thought I knew that.” Lucy blinked rapidly. “But something has changed. He even admitted something is wrong but he won’t tell me what it is.”

“And you’re afraid his feelings for you have changed? That’s crazy, I’m sure that’s not what it is. When I talked to Mikey earlier he was saying how Gee keeps going over his flight plans for tomorrow, he’s excited about seeing you.”

Lucy remained silent.

“It’s true. Whatever is wrong I’m sure it’s not that his feelings have changed towards you.”

Lucy took a deep breath willing herself not to fall back into depression. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right but damn…the man needs to share his thoughts with me. I want to be there for him, you know?”

Alicia laughed, “Hey, you’ll learn the Way men can be a handful at times. I have the same problem with Mikey. Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to get him to tell me what’s wrong.”

“When he gets here I’ll make him talk.” Lucy said deciding on a plan in her head. “Whatever it is he and I will work it out together.”

“That’s the spirit.”

And that was the spirit Lucy kept until late that night when Gerard called.

Notes