The sound of Bandit coughing awoke Lucy early the next morning. Rolling her head on the pillow she saw Gerard was sleeping soundly so she quickly got up and went to check on his daughter.

Bandit was sitting up in her bed when Lucy walked in.

“I’m hungry.”

Lucy couldn’t help but smile. “Good morning.”

“I’m hungry.” Bandit said again not understanding a greeting should have come before the comment.

“Well, I’m sure you’re hungry because you didn’t eat much last night.” She crossed over to the bed and gently touched the child’s head. For now she was cool to the touch. “Come on lets find you something for breakfast.”

As they walked down the hallway Bandit placed her hand in Lucy’s.

“I want cereal.” Bandit declared as Lucy got her situated on the sofa near her tissue box which was almost immediately needed when Bandit started sneezing followed by a round of coughing.

Lucy waited a moment then spoke. “I’m not sure cereal would be good. Milk might make your cough worse.” She could hear the little girl was very congested.

“But I like cereal.” Bandit pouted.

“How about scrambled eggs?”

Bandit’s nose wrinkled. “Don’t like those.”

Lucy was again reliving the past. When Lizzy had a cold Lucy had always prepared her scrambled eggs a certain way. She forced herself back to the present. “When I was little...” She spoke slowly making herself remember her youth. “And I had a bad cold my mama would make me scrambled eggs with crackers.”

This caught Bandit’s attention. “With crackers?”

“Yep. She’d break crackers up into little pieces and cook them in with the eggs.”

“And you liked it?”

Lucy smiled, “Yeah, I liked it.”

“Okay.” Bandit said slowly, “I could try.”

Before heading to the kitchen she turned on the TV and found a show that captured Bandit’s attention.

“Good morning.” Gerard startled her as she was preparing to pour the egg mixture into the hot skillet.

“Morning.” Lucy smiled.

“B tells me you are making her a special breakfast.” He watched Lucy closely hoping some of her uneasiness caused from interacting with his daughter had lessened.

“Not sure if it’s all that special.” Lucy knew he was staring at her. “It’s just something my mama made me when I was little.”

He slipped her arms around her waist from behind. “Well she thinks it sounds special. Crackers?”

Lucy tried to keep her mind on the task at hand but feeling Gerard’s body pressed up against hers was distracting. “Yep, crackers in the eggs. Could you start the coffee?”

“Sure thing.” He lowered his arms then moved to the coffee maker. “Uh, thanks for making her breakfast.”

Lucy didn’t want him making a big deal out of everything she did for Bandit. “Well, the first thing she said this morning was she was hungry.”

Gerard laughed, “That sounds like B. She must be feeling better.”

“I think she is.” Lucy answered as she finished preparing the scrambled eggs. She placed them on a plate then turned. “Would you like some? There is plenty.”

“Sure”

Lucy grabbed another plate then placed the rest of the scrambled eggs on it. “Okay. Give this one to Bandit and grab her glass of juice.”

Gerard saw she already had the juice poured in a small glass.

“I’ll bring yours in a minute as soon as I pour you a cup of coffee.”

A few minutes later Lucy appeared with his plate and a mug of fresh brew. “Here you go.” She said trying to sound up beat. She noticed that Bandit seemed to be slowly eating her breakfast as she watched the TV.

“B” Gerard said softly.

Bandit looked over at him then remembered. “Thanks Lucy. I like these.”

“I’m glad.” Lucy frowned at Gerard. She didn’t want him to force his daughter to complement her cooking.

Gerard wondered why he was suddenly getting an icy stare. When Lucy started back towards the kitchen he asked. “Uh, where are you going? I’ll do the dishes when I’m done.”

Lucy sighed, “I’m just gonna grab a cup of coffee.” With that she turned away.

When she returned a few minutes later Gerard was on his cell phone looking very unhappy.
“I really had plans for today.” He said slowly looking over at Lucy who had taken a seat. He listened for a moment then tried again. “I don’t see why you and Ray can’t handle this.”

Lucy could see he was growing more and more upset as he listened.

“Look” Gerard said slowly, “Bandit is sick.”

“Gee” Lucy said slowly. “If you need to go somewhere Bandit and I will be fine.”

Bandit looked up when her name was mentioned. “Daddy’s going somewhere?”

Gerard realized they were both staring at him.

“They want us to go an interview for the tour.” He explained after telling Mikey to hold on a minute. “Frank’s already gone home so it’s just the three of us.”

Lucy nodded, “Well then you need to do it.”

He was torn. Yeah, she was right he needed to do the interview but damn it, he didn’t want to.

Bandit smiled, “Lucy and me can hang.”

It was hard for Lucy not to laugh at her terminology. “She’s right.” She said trying to hide her smile, “Bandit and I will just hang while you’re gone.”

This brought a smile to his face. “Okay, Mikey. Pick me up, I’ll go.” He finalized the plan then set his cell down on the coffee table. “Sorry about this.” Before he resumed eating he added, “But it shouldn’t take more then a couple of hours.”

“No problem.” Lucy smiled but inside her stomach was beginning to churn.

Mikey waved from the car as Lucy and Gerard stepped outside the house. Lucy automatically waved back then spoke. “Don’t worry. Bandit will be fine.”

“I’m not just worried about Bandit.” He said softly pulling her into his arms. “This isn’t at all like I planned things.”

Lucy smiled, “Maybe you plan too much. I’m not leaving yet. We’ll have time together.”

Just hearing her say she was leaving made his heart drop. Lucy saw the expression on his face.

“Hey, you’re gonna be leaving too.”

“Damn it we need to figure shit out.” Gerard hugged her tightly then stood back.

Lucy sighed, “Gee, for now let’s not try to do that. Let’s just see how things work out on their own.”

Mikey gave the horn a quick tap causing Gerard to cuss.

“Get going.” Lucy playfully pushed him towards the driveway.

He called out just as she had turned for the door. “I love you.”

Lucy smiled, “Love you too.”

Bandit looked towards Lucy as she reentered the room. “What are we gonna do now?”

To be honest, Lucy had no idea. It has been a very, very long time since she’d had any contact with a child Bandit’s age. She gave a hopeless shrug.

“We could draw.” Bandit suggested having grown tired of TV. “I like to draw. Do you like to draw?”

“Okay, sure.” Lucy wasn’t sure where the needed items were located but Bandit was already off the sofa. “I’ll get paper and crayons.” She said before launching into a coughing fit.

“Okay but hurry back to the sofa. Don’t want your cold getting any worse.”

While Bandit got the art supplies Lucy found her cough medicine. She insisted the little girl take some before they started drawing.

“That stuff is yucky.” Bandit made a face after swallowing the medicine.

“But it will help your cough.” Lucy reminded her.

They had only been drawing for a few minutes before Bandit started to get restless. “Mommy says you take pictures.”

Lucy looked up from her paper. “Uh, yeah. I do.”

“Of what?”

“Well” Lucy sat back. “Usually old buildings or barns.”

“Why?”

The question caused Lucy to smile. She could just imagine how boring that must sound to the little girl. “Because it’s a way to remember them. Once they were very beautiful but over time no one takes care of them and they start to fall down.” She was trying very hard to explain this so Bandit would understand. “But I still can image what they once looked like and to me in a way they are still beautiful.”

Clearly Bandit didn’t understand by the look of confusion on her face. “I want to see some.”

Lucy sighed, “Well I do have a website but I don’t have any actually photos with me.”

Bandit sat down her crayon then stood. “I’ll get the lap top. You can show me.”

“Wait.” Lucy called out as Bandit started out of the room. “I’m not sure you should be using your dad’s lap top. We should wait until he gets home.”

Bandit shook her head, “Daddy don’t care. He don’t let me use it by myself but you’re gonna show me so it’s okay.”

Lucy wasn’t even sure if they could use the device. There was a chance Gerard had a password on it. “We should wait.”

“Please.” Bandit’s bottom lip protruded. “I want to see your pictures.”

When Lucy sighed Bandit took that as a sign she’d given in. When she returned carefully carrying the lap top she sat down next to Lucy. “Here.”

There wasn’t a password and it only took a few minutes before she had pulled up her web site. Bandit looked at the photos carefully. She was the most interested in one Lucy had taken at dusk of a barn not far from her home.

“That one is neat.”

Lucy smiled, “Thanks. I remember after I took that one I had to run home because a storm was coming.”

Bandit looked at her with surprise. “That’s by your house?”

“Yep, about a mile away.”

“I want to see your house.”

Lucy frowned, “Uh, I don’t have any photos of my house on the website.”

“What’s it like?”

“It’s a white farm house.” She could see Bandit was trying to picture in her mind what a farm house looked like.

“Is it big?”

“No, not really but it has a very nice front porch and I planted flowers all around it.” Suddenly she remembered she had taken photos that were in her personal photo storage. “Hold on.” She typed in the site then logged on. “There.” She said pulling up a photo she’d taken at the end of summer. “That’s my house.”

Bandit looked at the picture closely. “Look” She laughed, “There’s Sam.”

“Yep that’s Sam thinking about digging up my flowers.” Lucy smiled.

“Did she?”

“A few times until I taught her that wasn’t a good thing to do.”

“I like your house.” Bandit smiled. “It’s pretty.”

Lucy was pleased by her comment. Yes, her home was pretty now but sadly she had almost let it fall down around her head. She pushed that thought from her mind.

“What other pictures do you have?” Bandit asked.

Lucy hit the back button and suddenly thumbnails of all the photos she was saving appeared. Bandit was peering at them closely. “Who’s that?”

Lucy’s heart skipped a beat as she saw Bandit pointing to a photo of Lizzy. She’d allowed Lisa to digitally transfer some of her favorite shots so she’d be sure to always have them. The photo Bandit was asking about was one that was taken shortly before Lizzy’s death.

“Lucy?” Bandit whispered realizing Lucy suddenly looked upset.

She almost lied. It would have been the easiest thing to do and yet…she couldn’t allow herself to ever lie about her daughter again. “That’s a picture of Lizzy.” Lucy said slowly.

“Who’s Lizzy?” Bandit asked looking back at the computer screen.

“My daughter.” Lucy whispered feeling her body slightly tremble.

Bandit smiled, “I didn’t know you have a little girl. Daddy didn’t tell me that that.”

Lucy was panicked. How could she explain this? Did Bandit even understand about death? Did her parents want her to understand it at such an early age? She was trying to think when Bandit spoke again.

“Does she live with her daddy?” In her mind she understood that sometimes children didn’t live with both parents just like her situation.

“No” Lucy forced herself to speak. Years ago there was an accident.” She couldn’t make herself go on.

Bandit frowned as the truth slowly came to her. “Oh you mean she died?”

Lucy flinched. “Yes, she and her daddy.”

Again Bandit looked at the picture. “That’s sad.” She whispered. “What kind of an accident?”

It was hard for Lucy not to let herself be upset by the question but she understood deep down that to a child asking that seemed okay. “There was a fire.” She said slowly.

“So she went to heaven.” Bandit said with a child’s beautiful innocence.

Lucy blinked back tears. “Yes, she did.”

What Bandit said next caused Lucy’s heart to fill with love for this child setting beside her.
“I’m glad her daddy was with her. It would be scary to die alone.”

In all the years Lucy had suffered she’d never had that thought. The pain she’d felt from losing Rafe and Lizzy hadn’t allowed her to look at the terrible accident in that way. Yes, she’d lost Rafe and Lizzy but in her heart she knew they were now together.

“What was she like?” Bandit asked reaching over, grabbing a tissue, then handing it to Lucy.

“Thank you.” Lucy said taking the tissue then dabbing her eyes. “She was very smart and sweet.” It shocked her to realize suddenly that it didn’t hurt so much to talk about her daughter. And suddenly she realized more than anything she did want to tell Bandit about Lizzy. She told her about Lizzy’s favorite toys, how she loved animals and more. It wasn’t until she could see Bandit was getting sleepy she suggested a nap.

“But I’m not tried.” Bandit said but was unable to cover her yawn.

Lucy while feeling as if a burden had been lifted still was mentally tired. “Hey, I’m tired. I’ll take a nap too. How’s that?”

Bandit nodded slowly, “Will you take a nap with me?”

“With you?”

“Yep, here on the sofa.” Bandit smiled, “There’s plenty of room.”

Lucy agreed. She started to stretch out on the opposite end of the sofa from where B was laying but that’s not what the child had in mind. She wedged herself in front of Lucy who automatically placed her arm around her. Lucy pulled the light blanket over them.For several moments it was quiet and Lucy believed Bandit had fallen asleep.

“Lucy?”

“Yes?”

“Do you miss Lizzy?” Bandit whispered.

Lucy closed her eyes then answered, “Yes, I still miss her everyday.”

Bandit was indeed a very smart little girl. “I’m sorry I made you sad.”

Her sweetness touched Lucy’s heart. As she tightened her arm around the child she said softly. “You didn’t make me sad, Honey. I’m glad you asked me about Lizzy. It feels good to talk about her sometimes.”

Bandit smiled then snuggled closer to Lucy before falling asleep.

________________________________________________

Gerard knew the guys were a bit upset with how he handled the interview but he’d rushed it wanting to get back home. Now as he walked in what he saw surprised him. Lucy and Bandit both appeared to be asleep on the sofa. But the fact that Bandit was snuggled up in Lucy’s arms made him smile. As he walked further into the room Lucy’s eyes opened. She smiled up at him. Beside her Bandit slowly awakened. Gerard leaned down to touch her forehead to check for fever.

“How are you feeling?’” He asked his daughter.

Bandit slowly sat up. “Better but I gotta go potty.” She slipped off the sofa then started down the hallway.

“Hey” Lucy too sat up then stretched. “What time is it?”

“Just a bit after one.” He sat down beside her. “You girls have a nice nap?”

“I really didn’t mean to sleep so long.” Lucy absently ran her fingers through her hair. “I gave her some cough medicine around eleven.”

Gerard nodded but his attention was on the lap top they’d left on the coffee table.

Lucy followed his gaze then explained. “Bandit wanted to see some of my photos. Lindsey told her I’m a photographer.”

“That’s cool.” He smiled. “Did she like them?”

Knowing she only had a few minutes before Bandit returned Lucy spoke quickly. “Gee, when I was showing her a picture of my house she saw Lizzy.”

Gerard was surprised, “Oh” He wasn’t sure what to say.

“She asked me who it was and I told her. I hope I didn’t do the wrong thing.”

“Wrong thing? I don’t understand.”

Lucy sighed, “Gee, I wasn’t sure if she understands about death or if I should have even told her Lizzy died.”

Now he was beginning to understand. “It’s okay, Honey. Bandit knows about death. She hasn’t lost a loved one but pets…”

Lucy exhaled the breath she’d been holding. “Good, I didn’t want you to be upset with me.”

He automatically put his arm around her then pulled her close. “You really thought I’d be upset? Honey, I’m glad you told her about Lizzy.”

They both heard Bandit come back down the hallway.

“There’s more I want to tell you.” Lucy said softly.

He understood she wanted to speak to him but not in front of Bandit.

Gerard looked up at his daughter. “Okay kid, back on the sofa.”

When Bandit looked like she was going to complain Lucy said quickly. “I’m going to make you some lunch.”

“Can I have chicken soup?”

Lucy was pleased Bandit liked the soup she’d made. “Sure thing.”

She went to the kitchen while Gerard turned on the TV and found something for Bandit to watch.

“So” Gerard said as he walked into the kitchen and saw Lucy heating the soup. “What else happened?”

Lucy spoke slowly trying to put her emotions into words. “She said something that made me really think. I’d told her there had been an accident.”

Gerard nodded. She looked so fragile he wanted to pull her into his arms but he refrained.

“I told here there was a fire that took both Lizzy and her daddy."

He nodded.

Lucy felt tears threatening. “She said it was good Lizzy’s daddy was with her, that it would be scary to die alone.” Taking a deep breath she went on. “I was so lost in pain I never really thought of it that way before.”

Now he did take her into his arms, “Honey, that’s understandable on your part.”

“But Bandit’s words were so sweet, so pure.” Lucy said trying to explain better, “I realized that if the situation had been reversed, if I had stayed home and Rafe had gone, I would have wanted to go with Lizzy and I think he would have understood.”

“I know he would have understood.” Gerard whispered in her ear. “But you weren’t there. So your job is to go on living.”

“Yes” She hugged him tightly. “And it felt so good to tell Bandit about Lizzy.”

Gerard was relived Lucy seemed to finally be allowing herself to remember and speak openly about her daughter. “It’s good to remember.” He said softly stroking her back.

Lucy wanted to lose herself in his embrace but reminded herself she was making lunch. “Okay.” She said smiling as she stepped out of his arms. “There’s a hungry little girl in there waiting for her lunch.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He filled a glass with juice while Lucy spooned the soup into a bowl. “I really wish she wasn’t sick. I think it would have been fun for us to take her to the zoo.”

Lucy nodded, “Yeah but she’s getting better. Her fever is pretty much gone. Now she’s just left with a few sneezes and a cough. Maybe we could take her tomorrow.” When she saw Gerard frown she asked, “Oh, are you busy tomorrow?”

“No, I’m not busy but Linds is supposed to pick her up tomorrow.” He thought a minute then smiled, “But I bet she’d be okay with us keeping Bandit an extra day. I’ll call her.” He was watching Lucy to gauge her reaction.

“Okay.” Lucy smiled now that she felt at ease around Bandit and honestly wanted to spend more time with the little girl. “You do that and I’ll take Bandit her lunch.”

Once she was gone Gerard pulled out his cell.“Hey” He got right to the point. “B’s been sick, just a nasty cold.”

“I thought she was coming down with one.” Lindsey answered, “So how is she and Lucy getting along?”

“It was a rocky start.” Gerard admitted lowering his voice, “But today when I got home they were napping together on the sofa.” He took a few steps back so he could see Lucy was still with Bandit then continued. “Lucy was showing B some pictures from her personal photo site and there was one of Lizzy.”

Lindsey sighed, “And I suppose B wanted to know who it was?”

Gerard didn’t want to be discussing this when Lucy came back into the kitchen, “Yeah, so Lucy told her about Lizzy.”

“I’m sure that was very hard for her.”

“Yeah, it was hard but I think it was also very good. She admitted it felt right to talk about Lizzy.” His voice dropped, full of emotion. “B told her it was good Lizzy’s daddy was with her because it would be scary to die alone.”

Lindsey was momentarily speechless, “Wow, we do have a smart little girl, don’t we? That was a very sweet thing to say. It didn’t upset Lucy, did it?”

“No, but she did admit she’d never thought of the accident like that before. Being around Bandit it good for her. Which brings me to the point of this call. Can we keep her an extra day? We wanted to take her to the zoo and I think she’ll be up to it tomorrow.”

“Sure, no problem.” Lindsey responded. “I’m sure B would love to go to the zoo. I just thought you wouldn’t want to keep B more than a few days because you’d want to spend time alone with Lucy.”

Gerard heard a slight edge to her voice. He understood Lindsey was concerned he’d put Lucy before his daughter.“I want to spend time with both of them.” He tried to keep the annoyance he felt out of his voice. “And honestly I think spending time with Bandit is what Lucy needs.”

Lindsey sighed, “Yeah, I think you’re right. Oh, and when you get a chance get online and watch the interview I did yesterday, okay?”

He wondered why she made it sound important. “Does it have something to do with your upcoming tour?”

“Just watch it.” Lindsey said offering no more information other than to add, “Make sure Lucy watches it too.”

Lucy was sitting with Bandit watching TV while the little girl ate her soup. Gerard grabbed the lap top off the coffee table. “Hey, we’ll be back in a moment.”

Bandit nodded her eyes not leaving the cartoon.

“What is it?” Lucy asked as she followed him into the kitchen. He sat the lap top down.It only took a minute to find the newly posted interview.

“Linds wanted us to watch this.” He said turning up the sound.

A few minutes into the interview it became apparent why they were watching. Lindsey had given the interviewer permission to ask about her personal life, mainly her recent divorce.
When that segment of the interview was over he turned to Lucy waiting for her to speak first.

Lucy thought about what she’d just heard. In the interview Lindsey had said she and Gerard remained friends but that they’d both moved on. And while not mentioning Lucy by name she said she’d understood there could be some animosity towards the woman who was now in Gerard’s life. Lindsey had explained that while it was true Gerard had met her while they were still married it had been in the final days of their marriage. She made it clear Lucy had nothing to do with their marriage ending.

“That was a very nice thing she did.” Lucy said slowly.

Gerard too was touched by his ex wife’s actions. “Yeah, it was. “ He looked into Lucy’s eyes, “She did it for you, you get that right?”

“But why?” Lucy asked.

Gerard smiled, “Because my ex is a good woman.”

“I honestly don’t know what to say.” Lucy said shaking her head.

“Just know that Lindsey understands how much I love you and want to make our relationship work. This was her way of trying to make things easier for you.”

Lucy was still feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Gerard took her in his arms. “I told you this will work out, Honey. Now you just have to believe."

Notes