Lucy was staring into the flames, completely lost in thought, when Gerard returned from his shower. He lowered himself to the floor beside her. “Hey”

“Hey” Lucy answered pulling her gaze away from the fire.

“Your mind seems a million miles away. Wanna talk about it?”

Lucy smiled slightly, “I guess I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact I’m actually here, actually with you.”

“You’re here with me because we’re meant to be together.” He said reaching out to gently stroke her arm. “Tell me you believe that.”

Her gaze once more returned to the fire. “So much has happened in the space of a day….” Her voice trailed off.

“You’re overwhelmed.” He finished for her. “Yeah, I do understand that.”

“Overwhelmed and scared.” Lucy admitted softly. “I just don’t…” Again her voice trailed off.

Gerard scooted closer to her. “Don’t, what?”

She sighed, “I don’t know if I really fit in here.”

“Here” He reminded her gently, “Is my home.” His fingers continued to caress her arm. “My home that was built by your grandmother. To me it seems very right you are here.”

Lucy was mentally tired, “I just need a bit of time.”

Now Gerard was worried. “Hey, if you want we can just hang here tomorrow.” He was beginning to believe that thrusting Lucy into a situation where she’d be surrounded by strangers might be a bad idea.

“That wouldn’t be very nice.” She answered softly. “You should be with your family on Thanksgiving.”

“I should also be with the woman I love.”

When she turned to him her eyes were damp with tears. “I love you.” She whispered.

Slowly he stood then held out his hand. “Come on, woman. Let’s snuggle.”

Once they were in bed he spoke again. “I promise you, this will all work out. We love each other and we were brought together so that our love could save us both. I believe that with all my heart.”

Lucy started into his eyes. “About tomorrow…”

He waited silently.

“I get that Mikey knows about our relationship, you know back in Kansas…before.”

Gerard nodded.

“But what about the rest of your family?”

Slowly he began to understand some of her fears. She was worried about how his family would react to her being with him. “Honey, I told both my mom and dad that I found love when I was away.”

Lucy’s eyes narrowed, “You found love while you were still married to someone else.”

“I’ve told them the truth. They understand you didn’t know I was married.”

Lucy sighed, “I just don’t want….”

“Want what?”

“To be thought of as the other woman. The woman who caused the break up of your marriage because that is something I never would have done.”

Gerard closed his eyes a moment once more sorry for all the pain he’d caused so many people in the past. “Honey, I know that’s true and believe me I’m so sorry I put you in that situation. But the truth is you didn’t know I was married and in truth my marriage was over long before I met you. People close to me understand that.”

“But not everyone, right?”

At this moment he was grateful Lucy hadn’t been spending time on the Net following what had been said about his breakup because the truth was some people had pointed an accusing finger at Lucy once they’d heard his marriage was over. They had assumed the woman he’d been photographed with had something to do with it.

Lucy was watching his face closely. “Some people do think your divorce was my fault.” She whispered.

“People are always assuming shit.”

“Do these people know who I am?”

He couldn’t lie to her. “Yeah, eventually someone recognized you from the photo of us together in Wal-Mart.”

“So it’s been said I’m a home wrecker.”

“Lucy, we both know that’s not true. But for me, being in the public eye because of the band, things get said like that. People think they know what goes on in my life. I can’t do anything about that and I’m sorry.”

For a moment Lucy remained silent then softly she asked, “What does your ex-wife think?”

He wanted her to understand the situation completely. “Linds knew our marriage was over before I ever left LA. I told her the truth when I returned. I told her about you, how you didn’t know I was married, how you didn’t even fuckin’ know who I really was.”

“And she believed you?”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, she believed me.”

Lucy sighed, “She probably thought I was an idiot.”

He was surprised by the anger in her voice. “No, she didn’t. I explained you lived a quiet life, alone.”

She stared at him.

Gerard wanted her to understand, “Look, she really did believe me. Matter of fact at first her lawyers wanted to name you in the divorce, because I’d been living with you. But once I explained the situation to Linds she agreed not to do that.”

This was all very upsetting to Lucy. “Oh God. They wanted to name me in the divorce?”

He felt her body had tensed, “But it didn’t happen. Linds and I worked together to make the divorce as painless as possible.” He knew this wasn’t a good time to bring this up but felt he needed to. “I know she’s gonna want to met you.”

“Oh” Lucy’s eyes grew wide.

“Honey, she’s the mother of my child. She’s still a very big part of my life. It only makes sense that you two should meet.” He paused, “Uh, she’ll be bringing Bandit over on Sunday.”

Lucy closed her eyes.

Gerard hugged her tightly to him. “I promise this will all work out.”

Several minutes passed. It wasn’t until he heard her breathing become heavier he knew she’d fallen asleep.

______________________________________

When Gerard opened his eyes Thanksgiving morning a feeling of deep sadness filled his soul…he was alone. Reaching out to brush his fingers over the sheets he knew by the lack of warmth she’d been gone from the bed for some time. Rolling over on his back he stared at the ceiling trying not to let this upset him. He reminded himself that Lucy had forgiven him, she was now here in his home. For now that should be enough. Still it was hard to deny the sadness that had come over him when he’d awoke alone. For a brief moment it had seemed all too familiar, waking alone. For the last year of his marriage that had been the norm. He’d hoped, no prayed, that with Lucy here it would be different. When he’d finally fallen asleep last night he’d been smiling believing he’d awake to find her in his arms.

Struggling to sit up he forced those thoughts from his mind. He and Lucy were in love. Their love was strong, it would last. However he was not so naive he didn’t realize they still had several issues they needed to overcome. After their conversation last night he now realized why Lucy felt so uncomfortable and that was all because of his past actions.

As he crawled out of bed he made a mental note to call Lindsey and explain to her Lucy’s concerns. His ex-wife, who he now viewed as a very dear friend, would understand. Hopefully she could say something that would alleviate some of the tension.

Lucy was just wiping off her hands after releasing the soapy water from the sink when Gerard walked into the kitchen. Immediately she was concerned by the look on his face, “What’s wrong?”

Seeing Lucy in his kitchen, smelling the delicious aroma of something baking in the oven made his earlier sadness evaporate. “Nothing” He answered softly.

Lucy was staring into his eyes, “So you’re not going to tell me the truth?”

He’d forgotten how easily it had become for her to read his emotions, “I was just sorta upset when I woke up alone.” He admitted.

“Oh” Lucy glanced down, “I woke up pretty early, couldn’t sleep anymore. I hope you don’t mind but I made some cinnamon rolls.”

“Why would I mind?” He asked moving across the kitchen towards her.

Lucy shrugged still not looking at him.

He reached out to gently touch her arm. “Honey, it makes me fuckin’ happy to see you in this kitchen. I want you to feel at home here.”

Lucy sighed, “That’s sorta difficult.” When she looked up she saw he was frowning again, “It’s a beautiful kitchen” She looked around, “Huge in fact. Hell I’m pretty sure this kitchen is bigger than my whole downstairs.”

“And that fact makes you feel uncomfortable?”

“Not exactly uncomfortable…it’s just weird.”

“Your grandmother designed this kitchen.” He reminded her.

Lucy rolled her eyes, “I’m sure it looks nothing like it did when she lived here.”

“Of course it’s changed some over the years.” He conceded, “But the house, the basic design, that was her.”

The conversation was halted by the sound of the oven timer.

Lucy grabbed two hot pads then carefully lifted the tray of rolls out of the oven. “I’ll let them cool a few minutes before I ice them.” She explained. “I made coffee, we could sit out on the veranda…” She understood he was trying very hard to make her feel at home here and she was trying too.

“Sounds like the perfect idea.” He said as the first true smile of the day covered his face.

Once they were seated out in the open breeze Gerard took a sip of his coffee. “This is nice.”

Lucy nodded, “Yes, very nice.”

Gerard hated that for the first time since meeting Lucy he was truly at a loss for words. He definitely didn’t want to say anything that would upset her.

As for Lucy she too was unsure what to say. After their conversation last night she was even more conflicted about being here.

Gerard finally glanced at his watch. “We should leave for Mikey’s in about an hour.” When he saw the look of surprise on Lucy’s face he quickly went on. “Uh, remember you said you’d help Alicia with the dinner.”

Lucy nodded slowly, “How far do they live from here?”

“Traffic should be light today so it will probably only take about forty-five minutes.”

“Okay.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I meant to ask before but forgot…is this a dress up kind of dinner?”

Gerard laughed, “Oh hell no. Family dinners are just casual. What you have on looks beautiful.”

Lucy glanced down at her sweater. “I didn’t think to pack less wintery clothes. I mean back home it’s so cold.”

“And snowy.” Gerard added. “If you want I can loan you a tee shirt. I mean if you think you’ll be too hot in that.”

Lucy was mentally going over what she’d packed. “I have a blouse I can wear that I think will be okay.”

“Honey, don’t stress about this, okay? It’s just Thanksgiving dinner with family.”

“It’s Thanksgiving dinner with your family who, except for Mikey, I’ve never met.” She sighed, “And we both know my one meeting with Mikey didn’t go so well.”

Gerard tried to defend this brother, “Hey, that was a very stressful time for him. Which of course was totally my fault.”

Lucy suddenly stood. “I’m going to ice the rolls.” When she saw Gerard start to move she added quickly, “Hey, stay put. I’ll be back in just a minute with your cinnamon roll.”

He nodded but while she was gone he once more tried to remind himself that he needed to give Lucy time to adjust. Still he felt very disappointed this wasn’t going exactly as he’d planned. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear her returning to the veranda.

Lucy placed the small plate on the table in front of him. “Here you go.”

He smiled seeing the still warm cinnamon roll. “Yum”

She sat her own plate down then took her seat. “I hope yum is correct. I haven’t made cinnamon rolls in a long time.”

“If it tastes half as good as it smells it’s gonna be wonderful.” He took a small bite then smiled, “Yum is correct.”

Lucy giggled, “Glad you like it.” Suddenly her smile faded and what she’d been thinking about in the kitchen forced its way into words. “I’m sorry I fell asleep so quickly last night.”

He was surprised by the sudden change in the conversation. “What?”

Lucy took a bite of her roll in order to give herself time to put her feelings into words. Once she’d swallowed her bite and took a sip of coffee she tried to explain. “I’m guessing it wasn’t exactly how you’d envisioned we’d spend the first night in your home, just like me being gone this morning upset you.”

“Oh” He was beginning to understand. “Honey, I won’t lie. Yeah, I’d sorta hoped we’d make love but I get that you’re nervous about all of this. Just holding you in my arms was more than enough.”

Lucy looked back into the house, “This is just all so weird, being here with you.”

“You need time to adjust.” He said praying that was the simple truth. “I understand.”

Suddenly Sam appeared moving immediately to Gerard’s side.

“Hey girl.” He leaned down to pet the dog. “You need to go outside?”

“I took her out first thing when I got up.” Lucy explained.

“We need to make sure she knows she can go out in the backyard anytime she wants.”
Gerard said straightening back up. “The yard is fenced and there is a doggie door.”

“I saw that.” Lucy nodded, “But I don’t have one back home so I’m sure she doesn’t understand.”

Sam was now looking longingly at the remainder of Gerard’s cinnamon roll.

“Can I give her a small bite?”

Lucy smiled, “Sure, a small bite would be okay.”

Sam gently took the treat she was offered.

“See she likes your cinnamon rolls too.” He laughed.

“She pretty much likes everything.” Lucy nodded. “She was a stray that had been dumped out in the country. I can’t imagine anyone dumping such a beautiful dog. When she was taken to the pound she was skin and bones. She’d been existing on anything she could find to eat. That’s why she loves tomatoes, corn…”

“Are you serious?” Gerard asked.

“Yep.”

He stroked the dog’s head lovingly, “You’re right she’s a beautiful dog. Whoever dumped her should be ashamed.”

Lucy popped the last bit of the roll in her mouth then used a napkin to wipe her hands. “Well, I’ll just wash up the dishes…”

“Hey, let me.” Gerard said pushing back from the table. “Why don’t you and Sam get ready to go.”

Lucy nodded, “I’m just going to change out of this sweater. It was okay early this morning but now it’s already warming up.”

“Yeah, that’s how it usually is here.” He followed her back into the house carrying the plates while Lucy carried the coffee cups.

While Lucy went to change he quickly washed up the few dishes then turned to Sam who was standing nearby watching him. “Hey, I got an idea.” Quickly he walked through the house with Sam on his heels. When he reached his study it only took him a few minutes to find what he was searching for. “Okay” he said as he folded the bright orange bandana. “This looks right for Thanksgiving.” Once he had it tied around Sam’s neck he stood back to appraise his efforts. “Perfect.”

Lucy walked in the room slowly. “I’d wondered where you went.”

Gerard stood back so she could see Sam. “I was just getting Sam ready. How’s she look?”

“Oh” Lucy giggled seeing the bandana around the Lab’s neck. “She looks very nice.”

“So do you.” Gerard said softly as he eyes took in the sight of her dark blue satin blouse. “Just beautiful.”

Lucy smiled, “Thanks. I bought this a few weeks ago thinking it would be nice for the Historical Society’s Christmas party.”

“When’s that?”

“December 20th” Lucy answered. “I’ve promised to bake gingerbread cookies for it.”

Gerard’s smile faded, “Oh”

“Uh, you could go with me.”

He sighed hating that his had come up now. “I can’t. We’re doing a short Christmas tour sponsored by a radio station.”

Lucy hated how disappointed she felt. “Oh ,well that’s okay. You probably would have been bored spitless anyway.” She folded her hands nervously “When does your tour start?”

Gerard moved towards her. “In a week.”

“Oh” she took a step back. “So guess we should be going now.”

He knew they needed to discuss this. “I was going to tell you but…”

“Hey, no problem.” Lucy said taking another step back. “You’ll be on tour and I’ll be back home. I have lots of stuff to do anyway.”

“You could go with me.”

The suggestion seemed to hang in the air.

“No” Lucy said softly, “I’ve got commitments I don’t want to break. Maybe we can figure out something for Christmas, you know, get together then.”

This was definitely not what he’d hoped for. “Lucy, if you won’t go with me, stay here. I don’t want you going back to Kansas.”

“My home is in Kansas.” She said softly. “I have a life there, a real life.” She wanted him to understand, “Before I couldn’t have really said that. But now things have changed for me. I have friends, I’m a member of the Historical Society, and actually I work for them part time taking pictures. For the first time in years I actually have a life. That’s important to me.”

He could hear the emotion in her voice. “I do understand that’s important to you and I didn’t mean it to sound like I didn’t. It’s just…I want us to have a life together.” This time when he took several steps closer she didn’t back up. “Isn’t that what you want too?”

Lucy stared at him. “All I know.” She whispered, “Is I love you.”

For now he would take hope from that answer. “I love you too. We’ll figure things out.” When he took her in his arms she relaxed against him.

____________________________________________________

“Happy Thanksgiving.” Alicia said in greeting to her guests once she’d pulled open the door.

Gerard tightened his arm around Lucy’s shoulder. “Same to you.” He noticed his brother was no where to be seen. “Uh, Alicia this is Lucy.” He looked down, “And Sam.” Immediately the dog barked.

“Well hello to you too, Sam.” Alicia said squatting down to pet the puppy. She was rewarded with a wet kiss.

As she stood back up Mikey suddenly appeared at her side. Gerard could feel Lucy’s body tense.

“Hey” Mikey said softly.

Alicia immediately picked up on the tension. “Hey come in.” She laughed. She turned to her husband. “Why don’t you and Gee take Sam out to the back yard and introduce her to Sniffles and Sneezy?”

“Sniffles and Sneezy?” Lucy repeated.

“Yeah” Alicia laughed, “Our dogs have allergies. Believe me their names fit them perfectly.”

Gerard was reluctant to leave Lucy a fact not missed by Alicia. Slowly he lowered his arm from around her and Alicia took the opportunity. Before Lucy realized what was happening she was pulled into a tight hug.

“So glad you’re here.” Alicia said softly.

Getting over her surprise Lucy muttered, “Thanks for inviting me.”

Gerard gave his sister-in-law a thankful smile.

“Okay then.” Alicia said taking charge. “You two take Sam out back. Lucy and I have work to do in the kitchen.”

Gerard gave Lucy a quick kiss then he and Sam followed Mikey towards the back of the house.

Alicia linked arms with Lucy to lead her to the kitchen. Once there she asked, “Would you like a cup of coffee? I just made a fresh pot.”

“Yes, thank you.” Lucy answered as she gazed around the kitchen. The aroma of the turkey that filled the room was mouth watering.

Alicia saw she was gazing at the oven. “Turkey’s been in since six.” She moved to the cabinet to get a mug for Lucy. “And please, stop saying thank you.”

Lucy’s head shot around to stare at her.

Alicia smiled, “You didn’t need to thank me for inviting you and you sure don’t need to thank me for offering you a cup of coffee.”

Honestly Lucy wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Let’s sit for a few minutes before we get started.” Alicia said carrying two cups of coffee towards the table.

Lucy sat down at the large oak table. “You have a beautiful home.”

“I like it.” Alicia smiled taking a seat. “I just love to fill it with treasures I find. And I love this kitchen. I know it’s not a big as Gerard’s but still…”

“Gerard’s kitchen is huge.” Lucy muttered.

Alicia wished she could figure out a way to get Lucy to start talking because there was so much she wanted to say before the guys came back. “His house is beautiful.”

Lucy glanced over at her. “So you know.”

“Know?” Alicia was trying to tread carefully.

“That my grandmother built it.” Lucy said softly. She was surprised by Alicia’s response.

“Does it bother you that I know?”

Taking a sip of coffee first Lucy then responded, “No, not exactly. I’m just not sure what or how much anyone knows about me.”

Alicia nodded, “That’s understandable. Okay, so you want me to be honest?”

“Please.”

“Well okay then.” Alicia sat back getting comfortable. “I know Gerard met you when you saved him from a tornado. I know you didn’t realize who he was or that he was married when you were with him. But the most important thing I know is that meeting you changed him, a change that was definitely for the better.”

“I’m not sure I can take credit for that.” Lucy said softly.

“Oh yes, believe me you can. Gee was such a mess when he left LA. God, I hate to even remember that time. His drinking was out of control and he was slowly destroying himself. When he returned he was a different man, a better man. One who wanted to make peace with people he’d hurt. One who’s become a much better father to his little girl.” She saw Lucy’s body tense. Reaching out she did something she’d promised not to do but believed in her heart it was right. “I also know about your husband and daughter. I’m truly sorry.”

“Thank you.” Lucy said blinking back tears.

“Hey there you go thanking me again.” Alicia said giving her arm a tight squeeze. “But that’s about all I know.” She said retuning to the original conversation.

Lucy actually found herself warming to the woman sitting across from her. “Is there anything else you’d like to know?”

“Oh hell yes, tons of things.” Alicia laughed. “But I’m in no hurry. I can already tell you and I are gonna be best friends so I’ll wait.”

“I’d like that.” Lucy said softly.

“Good” Alicia smiled, “Now is there anything you’d like to ask me?”

The earlier tension was leaving Lucy’s body. “Tons of things.” She laughed. “But I guess the first thing I’d really like to know is honestly what your husband thinks about me.”

Alicia’s smile slightly faded, “Because of how your first meeting with him went.”

Lucy nodded.

“Well” Alicia took a sip of coffee then continued, “I’ll be honest. Mikey told me he really felt bad about what happened. He was just so damn upset about Gerard he realized he kinda took it out on you.” She paused, “You didn’t even know Gee had a daughter before that, did you?”

Lucy shook her head, “No”

“That had to be brutal for you, finding out he was married and had a child.”

“It was.”

“And Mikey realized that later on. See the thing is those two brothers are very close, they always have been. They sorta play off each other’s emotions. I have to tell you when Gee was going down his destructive path I was worried Mikey would do the same thing. He’s had times in his life where he’s drank too much too.” She stopped suddenly when she saw Gerard’s head peer around the corner. “Go away” She called out. “Lucy is fine, we’re getting to know each other.”

Lucy turned in her seat to see Gerard was now standing in the doorway. “She’s right, we are. Go away.”

Gerard smiled, “Yeah, okay. Just wanted to tell you Sam is very happy with her new friends.”

“I’m very happy with my new friend too.” Lucy said glancing over at Alicia. “Very happy.”