After returning from the barn Lucy immediately went into the living room to begin typing the chapters Gerard had written. She was excited to see where he’d taken the story.

Gerard smiled as he watched Lucy roll a fresh sheet of paper into the typewriter The fact that she was so engrossed in his writing pleased him but at the same time made him slightly nervous. Would she eventually see how much he’d based his Claire character on her? Would she understand that Claire ultimately held the key to Levi’s redemption? Or was the fiction he was writing just a story to her, one that held no deeper meaning, would she just believe it was just written for entertainment and nothing more?

“Oh” Lucy quickly scanned the first few paragraphs before beginning to type. “Oh hell.”

He quickly moved to stand by the desk waiting for her to explain her words.

“He shouldn’t go alone.” Lucy said looking up from the paper.

“He feels he has to.” Gerard said softly. “He doesn’t feel he has any other choice.”

“But he does.” Lucy said quickly then added, “I mean I think he does, I’m not writing this.” She smiled. “But you are. Now get busy.”

Gerard laughed, “Hey, you’ve got pages to type before you catch up to me.”

“Won’t take me long.” She placed her fingers over the typewriter keys then paused, “And this is so good I don’t want to have to wait for more.”

He grabbed another legal pad then moved to the chair. For several minutes he wrote but his eyes kept glancing across the room.

“Gerard?” She was surprised when she looked over and saw he wasn’t writing but instead watching her.

“Yeah?”

“Okay first off how come you’re not writing?”

“I am.” He lied holding up the legal pad where only a few sentences had been written.

“No, you were watching me.”

“Hey, sometimes it’s hard to concentrate when a beautiful woman is in the room.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.” She dismissed the subject quickly. “This one line..” She read what he’d written. “I think maybe the wording is a bit wonky.”

Gerard laughed, “Wonky?”

“Well yeah.” She nodded. She read the sentence again slightly changing the order of the words.

“Much better.” He nodded liking the subtle change. “Much less wonky.”

Lucy gave him a beautiful smile, “It’s not that I’m trying to change what you wrote.” She hoped she hadn’t hurt his feelings.

“Lucy, I know that.” He said softly. “And believe me I appreciate your input. You were totally right, the wording was off.”

She shrugged, “I know I’m not a writer or anything.”

“You could be.” Gerard said looking into her eyes, “You already are, in a way.”

Lucy sat back, “What?”

“You tell stories with your camera. When people look at your work they just don’t see a picture they feel the photo. So in a way, you are telling stories.”

Lucy beamed under her praise. “Thank you.” Suddenly she frowned, “You know I just realized I never developed the photos I took the day we went into town. Crap, I got sick and totally forgot.”

He too had forgotten because of her illness.

“Oh well” She scooted her chair closer to the desk, “That will have to wait. I’ve got a novel to type.”

Gerard smiled as her fingers once more began flying over the keys. After a few minutes he began pouring out the story that was in his head, the story that was closer to his heart then he wanted to admit.
_____________________________________

“Alan just called.” Mikey said rushing into the kitchen where Alicia was preparing lunch. “They got a hit from a motel in Boulder. A Joe Waters checked in there.”

Alicia placed the knife carefully on the cutting board then turned to him. “That’s great. Has Alan spoken to them yet?”

“No, he’s grabbing a flight and will arrive in Boulder early this evening. He said he’ll call after he interviews the clerk.”

“Hopefully the clerk will remember Gerard and maybe he’ll be able to offer a clue as to where he headed next.”

Mikey pulled out a kitchen chair then took a seat. “Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping. Alan also said he’s gonna rent a car in Boulder. No matter what he finds out he’s gonna drive into Kansas from there.”

“So he’s planning on heading to the area where they found the duffle bag?”

“He’s studied the maps and knows the course of that particular storm. He said he’s going to start where the storm first grew in strength then follow that path to where the bag was found.”

Alicia turned back and began slicing the tomato again. “So, Ray still supposed to stop by tonight?”

Mikey sighed, “Yeah, I’m supposed to call and tell him what time.”

“Hey, why don’t you invite them to dinner?”

The question surprised Mikey, “You want me to invite Ray and Christa over for dinner?”

“Why not?” She shrugged hoping the evening would be less stressful for her husband if they could talk over a good meal.

“Suppose I could.” He said slowly.

“I haven’t talked to Christa in weeks.” Alicia said as she finished up their sandwiches. “It would be nice to have them over.”

“It would be very nice if I didn't know the reason Ray wants to talk to me is about the meeting with Warner. He and Frank have been keeping in close contact with each other.”

“Well I’m sure Frank is worried to.”She said as she walked over to the table with two plates.

Mikey looked down at his sandwich, he had no appetite. “I know he’s worried but right now I’m getting the feeling that if Gerard doesn’t show up for the meeting Frank isn’t gonna fly back out here.”

“You think he’d leave you and Ray to face the execs alone?”

“Ray thinks he might.” Mikey admitted. “You know maybe it’s wrong but I feel like I’m sorta getting blamed for this.”

Alicia who was filling their water glasses turned to give him a shocked look. “What?”

“Well, he is my brother.” Mikey said softly.

“So?” She frowned, “Just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean you are supposed to control him. How the hell could anyone believe you could?” When he didn’t answer she went on angrily, “Who thinks it’s your fault? Did Ray or Frank say something?”

Mikey sighed while staring down at his plate, “Not in so many words. But even if they had I wouldn’t have been angry because I really do think I should shoulder most of the blame. He’s my brother, I knew he was hurting himself and I didn’t stop him.”

Alicia set the two glasses on the table then took a seat. “Mikey” She said softly. “You gotta stop this. It’s not your fault Gerard took off. It’s not your fault he’s been drinking too much. It’s not your fault he did something stupid that caused his wife to take off and file for a divorce. Those things are his fault.” She placed her hand on his arm, “Look at me.” She said gently. When he looked into her eyes she continued, “I know you and Gee have always been super close, I get that. But he’s a grown man who makes his own decisions. The decision to drink too much was his. You have to stop blaming yourself for the decisions your older brother makes. You’re doing what you can right now because you love him. But sitting here letting yourself fall into depression, blaming yourself for this is just wrong.”

“I know you’re right.” Mikey whispered, “But I can’t stop thinking…what if he never comes back? What if I never know what happened to him?”

Alicia knew she had to be strong for him. “He’s gonna come back. Maybe not willingly but you’ll make him come back. He’s not just screwing with his future as far as Warner is concerned he’s messing with you and Frank and Ray. That ain’t right. Alan will find him and you’ll go get him. If need be we’ll get him into rehab.”

Mikey nodded, “Yeah, but that’s what I should have done before any of this shit happened.”

“You couldn’t, at the time he was still holding it together.”

“Well something sure as shit happened and he lost it. I still can’t believe he’d just up and leave like he did. I really thought he loved his wife and daughter.”

Alicia sighed, “Mikey, I believe he did love Lindsey, I know he did. But sometimes love dies. As for Bandit, I’m still holding out hope that because he loves her so much he believed in his mind he had to get away to give himself time to get his head straight.”

“I haven’t talked to Lindsey in almost a week.” Mikey took a sip of water then added, “I just wish she’d waited until she talked to him to file.”

“I don’t think it would have made any difference” Alicia said sadly. “The more time I’ve had to think about it, I know their marriage was over. They hadn’t been happy together in almost two years.”

“Still” Mikey said shaking his head, “If she’d talked to him first chances were better the divorce wouldn’t get ugly.”

“Maybe it won’t be ugly” Alicia said trying to keep a positive attitude.

Mikey didn’t agree but found himself too mentally tired to talk about the situation anymore. Picking up his sandwich he took a bite but the food tasted like sawdust in his mouth.
___________________________________________________

Gerard looked up when he heard the typewriter go silent.

“Done” Lucy said smiling over at him. “How much more have you written?”

For the past hour and a half he’d written feverishly, the story seemed to be pouring out of his soul. He held up the legal pad and began flipping through the pages. “Quite a bit.”

“Good” Lucy said standing up then stretching. “Keep going. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Gerard nodded then turned his attention back to the paper. He was still writing when he heard Lucy come back into the room ten minutes later. What he saw in her hands shocked him.
“What’s that?” He asked, knowing the answer but not understanding the meaning.

Lucy carefully set the guitar case down on the coffee table. “Do you play?” She asked as she opened the worn black hard shell case.

Gerard set the legal pad aside then stood to walk over to her. “A little but I’m not very good.”

“I had to dig this out from the back of the closet.” Lucy explained as she lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful guitar.

“Wow” Gerard muttered looking down at the vintage Gibson. “That’s a beauty.”

Lucy smiled sadly, “It was one of Rafe’s prized possessions. It’s a 1953 Southern Jumbo Sunburst.” She looked deeply into his eyes, “I want you to have it.”

“Lucy, no.” He took a step back. “That’s a very expensive guitar.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I know. The original owner was Rafe’s grandfather. He bought it in a dime store, if you can believe that.” She carefully lifted the guitar out of the case then extended it to Gerard.

He took it from her almost reverently. “Honey, I don’t think you understand how much this is worth.”

“I could never sell it.” She said softly watching as he sat on the sofa to place the guitar on his lap.

Gerard was still shaking his head, “But...”

“Gerard” Lucy said softly, “The guitar is of no use to me, I can’t play. Rafe would want someone to have it who would play enjoy playing it.”

“But something like this should be kept in the family.” As soon as he said the words and saw the pain in Lucy’s eyes he wished he could recall those words.

“I have no family.” Lucy whispered. “But I want someone I love to have it.”

Gerard was so overcome by emotion he couldn’t speak. Instead he gently began to strum the strings. “A little out of tune.” He muttered to himself then set to righting that problem.

Lucy sat down next to him.

Soon he had it in tune and was strumming an old classic song. He glanced over and saw Lucy was wiping away a tear.

Gerard stilled his hands, “I don’t know what to say.”

Lucy smiled, “You don’t need to say anything. I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.” He said from his heart knowing how much the instrument meant to her made the gift that much more special. “Thank you.”

“Maybe you can write a song.” Lucy said not realizing her words shot an arrow of guilt through his heart. “But first you’ve got to finish your novel.”

Carefully he stood to place the guitar back in the case then turned for her hands to pull her from the sofa. “I love you.” He whispered holding her close. “So damn much.”

“I love you too.” Lucy whispered back, “So damn much.”

__________________________________

“I need to take this.” Mikey said getting to his feet quickly then retreating to his study.

Alicia smiled over at Ray and Christa seated on the sofa. “Probably Alan, the private investigator.” She said explaining the call.

Ray nodded, “He was supposed to call, right?"

“Yeah” Alicia sighed, “After he talked to the motel clerk in Bolder.”

“I can’t believe the progress the investigator has already made.” Christa said. Mikey had explained to them during dinner the reports he’d gotten from Alan. “But I’m still confused as to why Gerard would have been headed for Colorado.” She paused, “Uh, do you think…”

Alicia understood exactly where her mind was going, “I have no idea if it’s because he was married there but that was one of my first thoughts too.”

“Have you talked to Lindsey?” Christa asked.

“Mikey’s been the one in contact with her.”

“Wonder how she’s really taking all of this?”

Alicia shrugged, “I’m sure she has a lot of anger with all that Karli shit.”

“About that.” Ray said nervously glancing down the hallway to make sure Mikey was still gone. “What’s your take on it?”

It was impossible for Alicia to keep the anger out of her voice. “I think she’s a lying piece of shit.”

Christa nodded, “Me too. I never liked her.”

“But the fact remains.” Ray reminded them both, “Gerard did have sex with her.”

“Yeah, well my brother in law has done some fuckin’ stupid things in his life.” Alicia said free to admit her feelings now that Mikey wasn’t around, “But still I don’t believe her story.”

“This mess needs to be cleaned up.” Ray sighed, “Warner is really losing patience. They are afraid this will affect the fan base negatively.”

“Of course they are.” Alicia spat. “Bottom line is always money. Lose the fan base, lose money. It’s not like you guys are real people, just product.”

Ray was slightly surprised by her anger but believed her understood, “Mikey isn’t doing too well, is he?"

“He’s blaming himself for this fuckin’ mess.” Alicia ground out. “Like he really believes he had any control over Gerard.”

“No one has control over Gerard.” Christa said sadly. “Not even Gerard.”

“That’s the truth.” Alicia said shaking her head. “I just wish they’d find him. I’d love to give him a piece of my mind.”

The conversation halted when they heard Mikey returning.

“So?” Alicia asked as her husband sat back down.

“Dead end.” He muttered. “The clerk don’t remember anything.”

“Shit” Ray muttered.

Alicia was watching her husband closely and knew instinctively he was holding something back. However she would wait until they were alone to get the truth.

____________________________________________

“That was so good.” Lucy said as she sat back from the table.

Gerard frowned at her half eaten steak. “You didn’t eat that much. What’s wrong? Aren’t you feeling good?”

“I feel fine.” Lucy answered, “But I want to save this for steak and eggs in the morning. Oh and by the way I’m gonna make breakfast.”

“Should have saved some of mine.” He said looking down at his plate.

Lucy giggled, “Well if you hadn’t kept sneaking pieces of steak to Rex you’d have some left.”

“Saw that, did you?” he laughed looking over at Rex who was sitting on the floor next to his chair.

“Yeah, you’re spoiling him.”

“Hey, a dogs gotta eat too.”

Lucy looked lovingly at her pet. “You know I really don’t think of Rex as a dog. He’s family.”

The sorrow in her voice touched Gerard’s heart. “Yeah, he is. He’s part of our family.”

Moments like this filled Lucy with happiness and fear. Gerard had changed her life but deep down the fear the happiness would be taken from her was always lurking.

“Hey, why don’t you head up and take a shower. I’ll clean this up.”

“Why don’t I help you clean this up, then we can head up to the shower together?” She answered searching his face for his true feelings. For some reason since she’d given him the guitar earlier she felt something was wrong.

He stared at her a minute then nodded, “Sounds like a damn good plan to me.”

____________________________________________

As soon as the front door closed Alicia turned to Mikey, “Okay, what did Alan really say?”

Mikey tiredly walked back into the living room. Once seated he sighed, “I didn’t lie, the clerk really didn’t remember Gerard.”

Alicia sat down next to him. “Okay, but Alan told you something that upset you.”

Mikey leaned back against the sofa cushions trying to ease the tension in his body. “Alan said that since the clerk didn’t remember anything about Gerard he decided to look around a bit, not wanting to have it be a wasted trip.” He paused, “There was a bar right down the street from the motel.”

Alicia too sat back, “And someone there remembered Gerard?”

“At first when he started to tell me about going into the bar I thought that was definitely not the kind of place Gerard would go. It’s a rowdy country bar.”

“Honey, Gerard would go where there was booze.” Alicia said as she took his hand in hers.

“Yeah, obviously that’s the truth. Alan said since the bartender was an older guy he wasn’t concerned about showing him Gerard’s photo.”

“Because the guy wouldn’t recognize him as being from a band.”

“Right” Mikey nodded, “And the bartender did remember Gerard.” He hated to repeat this but knew he must. “The bartender said Gerard was in there weeks ago and he remembered him because he always remembered the crazy ones.”

Alicia sat up, “The crazy ones?”

“Yeah, the crazy ones. Seems Gerard went in there and started ordering whiskey. According to the bartender there was a woman there he hooked up with.”

“Shit” Alicia muttered.

“Alan got the impression talking to the bartender that the woman is always in there trolling for guys. Supposedly Gerard was planning on going back to her place.”

“Did he?”

Mikey shook his head, “No. Evidently that was the plan but when she took off to use the bathroom…” Mikey sighed deeply, “The bartender said Gerard went crazy, started talking to the empty bar stool beside him.”

Alicia was shocked into silence.

Mikey angrily got up and began to pace, “Yeah, my brother was talking to a fuckin’ empty bar stool. When the woman got back he’d left.”

“Fuck” Alicia muttered. For several minutes neither spoke then Alicia asked, “Is Alan gonna try to talk to her?”

“No, he said he didn’t think it would be a good idea. The vibe he got was that she’s a hustler and he’s afraid if he tried to get her to remember Gerard she might figure out who he is. That’s the last fuckin thing we need right now. A woman in a bar claiming Gerard was going back to her place but freaked out.”

“Shit, she might even claim he did go back to her place if she knew who he was.”

“That’s what Alan thought.” Mikey admitted, “And I think he’s right.”

“But what if the bartender tells the woman? What if she does figure out who Gerard really is?”

“Alan doesn’t think there’s much chance of that. According to him the bartender believed his story, that Gerard is a messed up guy who had a melt down and his family is looking for him.”

“Honey, why didn’t you want to tell Ray and Christa this?”

Mikey shook his head sadly, “Because as always I’m trying to protect my brother. I don’t want even Ray to think Gerard’s lost it.”

Alicia stood then walked over to place her arms around her husband. “It’ll be okay” She whispered.

Mikey tried to take strength from her embrace, “Will it?” He whispered brokenly. “I’m just not sure anymore.”

____________________________________________

Lucy giggled as Gerard ran the soapy washcloth over her back.

“Woman, what are you giggling about?” He asked as he leaned closer to her ear.

“Oh my.” Lucy giggled even more when she felt his need pressing against her behind.

Gerard loved the playful sound of her voice. “Oh my? That’s what you say when you feel how hard you’ve gotten a guy?"

Lucy twirled around to stare into his eyes, “Well what should I say?”

He dropped the washcloth so that his soapy hands could cup her breasts, “How about..take me you fool?”

Lucy giggled again, “Take me you fool?”

“Was that an invitation?”

Lucy’s body was begging her to answer truthfully, “Hell, yes.”

Those were the words he needed to hear. Grabbing her shoulders he turned her around. “Brace yourself against the wall.” He ground out.

Lucy placed both hands on the wall, her heart racing.

“Now then” He said running his fingers down her stomach, “That’s just what I’m gonna do.” He pushed her legs further apart with his knee then thrust into her quickly.

“Oh” Lucy cried out. “Yes”

His fingers moved down to tease her nub. “You like this?”

“You know I do.” Lucy moaned as he began to move inside her.

“Then let me hear.” He begged.

“I love the feel of your hands on me.” She whispered in a deep throaty voice, “I love to feel you deep inside me.”

Gerard pushed in as far as possible feeling her body shake. “Deep inside you.”

“Feels so good.” Lucy moaned as his fingers continued to rub bringing her to the edge. “Feels so right.”

“Yeah, Honey.” He nipped her shoulder. “Nothing has ever felt more right.”

“Gerard” She cried out as her muscles tightened around him.

He let himself go when she cried out his name.

“Wow, I like showering with you.” Lucy said softly once he’d pulled out. She turned but the look on his face surprised her. “Gerard?”

He quickly turned around to let the water spray over his face.

Lucy moved to circle her arms around him, “What’s wrong?”

“I just love you so much.” He whispered brokenly. The fear of losing her was tearing at his soul.

“And I love you.” Lucy whispered not understanding.

He forced his emotion back under control. Taking in her arms he smiled, “So guess I should wash you again.”

Lucy was still staring at him. “Are you sure you’re okay?"

“I’m okay because I’m with you.” He said cupping her face in his hands. “That is the truth, Lucy. Please, never forget how much I love you.”