Mikey disconnected then immediately pressed another number.

“Hey” Alicia answered unaware anything was wrong. “What’s up? I just got to the restaurant.” She was looking forward to the lunch she had planned with several of her friends.

“Please come home.”

Immediately she knew, by the sound of his voice, something was very wrong. “What is it?”

Mikey tried unsuccessfully to keep the fear out of his voice. “I really need you to come home.”

Alicia spotted one of her friends moving towards her parked car. “Have you heard from Gerard?”

Mikey clutched his phone tightly. “I’ll tell you when you get here.” He disconnected.

“Shit” Alicia got out of the car quickly, explained to her friend she wouldn’t be able to stay then got back into the car. Her hands were shaking as she started the ignition.

__________________________________________

Gerard was once more watching Lucy nap a huge smile covering his face. He couldn’t seem to stop smiling since this morning. She stirred in her sleep mumbling softly. Gerard got to his feet moving close hoping to make out what she was saying.

Suddenly her eyes flew open.

“Hey” He spoke softly while kneeling down beside the sofa. “We’re you having a dream?”

Lucy nodded slowly. “How did you know?”

“You were mumbling something.”

Her eyes grew wide as the dream came back to fill her mind. “Oh”

Gently he caressed her cheek with his fingertip. “What was it?”

She couldn’t make herself admit the truth. “I don’t really remember. What did I say?”

“Couldn’t really make it out.”

“Oh” She was relieved. “What time is it?”

“You’ve only been asleep a few minutes. Close those beautiful eyes and rest.”

“Yeah, okay.” She was grateful for the chance to reexamine the dream. She rolled on her side facing the cushions of the sofa, feeling the need to hide her face.

Gerard walked back over to the desk then immediately began to write again.

Lucy however, though her eyes were closed, didn’t fall back asleep. She was thinking about the dream, replaying it in her mind.

Once more she was standing in a field, the sun shining brightly, but this time in the dream she knew exactly where is was, Gerard’s smashed car lay a few feet from her. As before suddenly she saw Rafe approaching.

“Querido”

Lucy tried to run to him but he held up his hand to stop her.

“You are living your life now.” Rafe smiled.

She glanced over at the car, thoughts of Gerard filling her mind. Along with those thoughts came guilt.

“There is no shame living your life, my Lucy. No shame in being happy.” It was as if he could read her mind.

Lucy remembered the sound of thunder suddenly startling her. Has the thunder outside incorporated itself into the dream? She wasn’t sure considering Rafe’s next words.

“A storm is coming.” He said lowering his hand. “Be brave my beautiful woman. Never hide again.”

“I don’t understand.” She’d answered.

Rafe sighed, “I love you querido. But it is time to take your love for me and give it a place deep in your heart. I will always be there.”

“Rafe I love you so much.” Tears poured down her face.

“I will always love you Lucy. Make me proud, be happy.”

She shook her head, “I can’t be happy without you.”

A smiled tugged at the corners of his lips. “You can and you are.” He started to fade from sight as clouds suddenly covered the sun. “Just live.”

Gerard looked up from his writing instinctively knowing something was wrong. He quickly crossed the room to kneel by the sofa. “Lucy?” When he rolled her over on to her back her face was wet with tears. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

She forced her eyes open. “Just a dream.” She whispered.

Gerard brushed her tears away with his fingertips. “Want to talk about it?”

“I can’t.” She paused, “I just….” As much as she wanted to tell him she couldn’t make herself talk about it, it was too personal.

“Okay.” Gerard smiled, “I understand.”

Lucy looked deeply into his eyes, “Rafe was in my dream.” She whispered unable to go on.

“Oh” He nodded.

Suddenly she sat up to hug Gerard tightly. All the things she couldn’t say were released through the gesture.

Gerard held her close, stroking her hair, “It’s okay, Honey.”

A clap of thunder shook the house.

“Can we go out and sit on the glider?” Lucy asked in a small voice.

Gerard smiled, “Sure, we’ll watch the storm, it’s getting closer.”

His words caused Lucy to shudder.

“Are you cold?” He asked with concern.

“A little” She lied, in truth she was remembering Rafe’s words.

Gerard stood then helped her to her feet. He grabbed the blanket then slowly they walked to the porch. Once there he sat on the glider then pulled her onto his lap wrapping the blanket around her. “How’s that?”

Lucy laid her head on his chest. “Nice.” She whispered. “I feel…safe and…”

He kissed the top of her head, “And?”

She closed her eyes forcing herself to speak the word, “Loved.”

_______________________________________

Alicia’s heart started beating rapidly as she pulled into her driveway and spotted a police car. “Oh shit.” She quickly parked than ran to the house.

Mikey’s eyes locked with hers as she rushed into the living room where he was seated with two men. She sat down next to her husband immediately taking his hand in hers.

“This is my wife, Alicia.” Mikey said as way of introduction.

“Nice to meet you, ma’am” The older officer nodded.

“What’s going on?” Alicia asked.

It was Mikey who answered, “Gerard’s duffle bag was found.” He offered no other information.

Since the officers had been preparing to leave when Alicia arrived they both stood. The older officer handed Mikey a card. “My number is on there and on the back I’ve written the number of the Highway Patrol office in Kansas on the back.”

Mikey stood reaching for the card. “Thank you.”

“We’ll review the security tape from the bank and let you know probably by late this afternoon.”

Alicia sat back down nervously wringing her hands while Mikey walked the officers to the door. As soon as he walked back into the living room Alicia stood, “Mikey what the hell is going on? Why were the police here? Who found Gerard’s bag? Why are the reviewing a security tape?”

He sat down heavily on the sofa then held out his hand. “Sit” He whispered tiredly.

“Mikey, what’s going on?” She said holding his hand tightly as she sat down next to him.

“Lindsey called me this morning right after you left.” He started to explain slowly. “The New York police had contacted her after getting a call from the Highway Patrol in Kansas.”

“The Kansas Highway Patrol called the New York police? Why?”

“They knew Lindsey was in New York” He wasn’t sure how not that it mattered. “They needed her to be informed that Gerard’s duffle bag had been found.”

“Found where?”

“In a dry creek bed about ten miles outside Fort Scott, Kansas”

“Oh God.” Alicia whispered, “What about Gee?”

“No sign of him or his car.” Mikey whispered, “Just the bag.”

“How did they know it’s his?”

“Gee took the bag on our last tour. He must have forgotten to take his passport out of the hidden compartment in the lining. Some kids found what’s left of the bag and took it to the police.”

Alicia’s eyes grew wide, “What’s left of the bag?”

Mikey ran his hand over his face, “From what I understand it’s really fucked up, all ripped and torn.” He squeezed her hand tightly, “But what’s really weird is a lot of money was still in the bag.”

“So he wasn’t robbed.” Alicia whispered. “Thank God whoever found it didn’t just take the money.”

“Who gives a fuck about the money?” Mikey shouted losing his control.

She understood his anger and fear, “Because if they had you would have believed Gee had been robbed. Obviously he wasn’t, that’s good.”

“But where the fuck is he and what happened to his bag?”

She tried to calm him, “Maybe he left it behind by accident.”

“That doesn’t explain its condition.” Mikey began to pace. “I’m gonna call the Kansas Highway Patrol.”

Alicia snuck into the other room while Mikey placed his call. Quickly she explained to Ray what had happened. As she’d hoped Ray listened then said he was on his way over.
When she returned to the living room Mikey was still on the phone. Whatever was being said was obviously disturbing. “I understand, thank you.” When he disconnected his hand was shaking. “About a month ago a tornado went through the area, the officer I spoke to said to him it looks like the bag might have been picked up and carried by a twister.”

“Oh shit.”

Mikey was trying desperately not to lose control of his emotions. “He said the tornado caused a lot of damage but there were reports of minor injuries, no fatalities.”

“Okay, that’s good.” Alicia said slowly hoping to calm him. “So maybe Gee stopped for some reason, took his bag out and forgot it.” She was desperately tying to come up with a plausible scenario.

Mikey wanted to believe it was possible but still… “So what’s he doing for money? What about all the shit he lost?”

“Did they say how much money was in the bag?”

“Yeah, almost six thousand.”

“Wow, but that still left him with about two thousand.” She paused, “Uh, what surveillance footage are the police reviewing?”

“At Gee’s bank. They want to make sure there wasn’t someone with him forcing him to withdraw the money.” He lowered his head “I had to tell them that he’s missing.”

“Do they consider him missing?” Alicia asked slowly.

“I’ve got to call Ma.” Mikey whispered, his mind trying to cope.

“Honey” Alicia said softly, “Do the police consider Gee missing?”

He forced himself to answer her question. “There doesn’t seem to be any evidence of foul play. Gee’s marriage was crumbling so it makes since he wanted to get away. He packed a bag but left his cell which points to the fact he didn’t want to be found. Unless something turns up on the tape then no. For now they don’t won’t consider him a missing person.”

“For now?”

“If he misses the meeting the band has scheduled and we don’t hear from him they said then I could file a report but shit, think about what will happen if that hits the press?”

“But if he’s really missing you don’t care, right?”

“Of course not, but what if he’s not really missing he just doesn’t want to be found. He’ll be pissed and so will the record company.”

“What’s Lindsey say about all of this?”

“Honestly she sounded worried but she said she just can’t deal with this. That’s why she told the police in New York to contact me about the bag. She told them that she’s divorcing him so they are estranged.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t tell your mom yet.” Alicia suggested.

“I don’t know what the fuck to do.” Mikey whispered. “I’m scared about the bag. What if Gee was caught in the tornado?”

“But you said that there weren’t any reports of serious injuries.” She reminded him.

“What if that’s just because no one’s found him?”

“Mikey, stop.” Alicia walked over to hug him. “I know what you’re thinking but don’t. I really believe somehow he lost his bag and yeah, maybe it was involved with the twister but not Gee.” She had to give him something to hold on to, “If something had happened they would have found his car.”

Mikey took a deep breath, “Yeah, you’re right.”

She smiled, “Of course I am. And you gotta remember that even though you’re worried about them finding the bag, Gee wasn’t robbed.”

Mikey sighed, “You know it’s hard to believe nowadays that someone would find a bag like that with all that cash and not keep it.”

Alicia smiled, “Hey, as a Midwestern girl myself I’ll say that’s because people in that part of the country are pretty honest.” She pulled him over to sit on the sofa. “I was wondering who exactly found the bag, do you know?”

“The guy I talked to in Kansas said it was two young boys. Evidently they found it and took it home to show their parents.” He glanced over at her, “Why?”

She hated to bring this up but believed it was necessary, “Do you know if they are the ones who found Gee’s passport?”

It took him only a moment to understand why she was asking, “Shit, I don’t know. But maybe even if they did they wouldn’t recognize Gee’s name.”

“That’s true.”

The sound of the doorbell started them both.

“That will be Ray.” Alicia said softly.

“Ray?”

“I called him, figured you’d want to tell him what’s going on.”

Mikey sighed as he walked towards the door. While he knew Alicia was trying to help he honestly didn’t want to talk to anyone else right now.

____________________________________________

“Lucy” Gerard shook her gently, “Someone’s here.”

She opened her eyes then slowly sat up.

The white pick-up truck had come to a stop in the driveway Lucy scooted off Gerard’s lap as an older man got out of the truck then started towards the porch. Rex rushed out to greet the man obviously recognizing him as a friend.

“Hey Lucy.” John said slowly as he walked up the steps and noticed she was wrapped in a blanket. “You okay?”

Lucy smiled, “Other than having pneumonia, yeah.”

“Pneumonia?”

“Been down for two weeks now.” Lucy sighed. She noticed the farmer was staring at Gerard. “Uh, John this is Gerard. Gerard, John. He’s the farmer who leases the land from me.”

“Nice to meet you” John said extending his hand. “Uh, so it’s your car that brings me here.”

Gerard gave him a surprised look, “My car?”

“Yeah, what’s left of it that is. Guess you had a pretty close call.”

Gerard nodded, “I was very lucky.”

John leaned against the wooden column. “Anyway, I’m gonna have to cut my losses on the field, too much of it got damaged.”

Lucy understood, “You want to plow it under.”

He nodded.

Gerard was starting to understand, “And what’s left of my car is in the way.”

“Yeah. Have you dealt with your insurance company yet?”

Gerard tried to come up with a plausible excuse as to why he hadn’t done that. “Uh no. I only carried liability….”

“Only liability? On a car like that?” It was obvious he was familiar with the value of the sports car.

Gerard shrugged, “Yeah” He really wished the man would leave before he had to tell any more lies.

Lucy was watching Gerard closely wondering why he seemed nervous.

“Well anyway.” John said pushing off the column. “I need to move the car so I plow the field.”

“Can you push it into the hedge row?” Lucy asked.

“Sure. If that’s what you want. I looked it over pretty good and I don’t think there is anything left to salvage on it.”

“Think you’re right.” Gerard smiled hoping that would end the discussion.

“We’re supposed to rain again tonight but as soon as the field dries enough I’ll get it done.”

They talked for several more minutes then John explained he needed to get home for dinner. He told Lucy he was glad she was recovering then took his leave.

Once he was gone Gerard tried to pull Lucy back into his arms but she resisted.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” She said slowly getting to her feet.

“Where are you going?”

In truth she needed some space but instead told him she needed to use the restroom. Gerard nodded then watched as she slowly walked into the house. As he waited for her to return he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. After ten minutes he went inside but the bathroom door was open. He found her curled up on the sofa.

“How come you didn’t come back outside?” He asked.

She sighed, “Tired.”

Now he knew by the look on her face something was wrong. He walked over to the desk and took a seat. For several minutes he tried to write but his mind was on Lucy. Glancing over he saw her eyes were open and she was staring at the ceiling. “Lucy, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

An unwelcome thought popped into his brain. “Are you upset because John saw us together?”

Lucy sighed, “No.”

“Did you want him to think I was I your cousin like you told that guy in Iola?”

“Gerard, let it go.” She said softly.

Angrily he pushed away from the deck, “That’s it, isn’t it? He saw us together, you in my lap, and it upset you.”

She closed her eyes but didn’t answer.

It wasn’t just anger but hurt that made him refuse to let it go. “I really thought we’d gotten past this.”

Her eyes opened, “Past what?”

“Your fuckin’ guilt about us.” He ground out.

Lucy forced herself to sit up. “Guilt?”

“Yeah, guilt about us, what’s happening between us. But obviously I was wrong. Guess it’s okay for me to be your lover when we’re alone but you don’t want anyone else to know.”

“Gerard that’s stupid.” She spat, “I never said anything like that.”

“Really, you didn’t need to say it, your actions prove it. Poor Lucy, she doesn’t want anyone to know she’s got a man in her life now. Better everyone believe she’s still all alone living with her memories.”

Lucy recoiled as if struck. “Shut up.” She screamed.

He began to pace, “Why? Don’t want to hear the truth? Too bad, Honey. It is the truth and you know it.”

Lucy’s body began to shake with uncontrolled anger. “What the fuck did you want me to do? Was I supposed to introduce you as the man I’m currently fucking?” She stood slowly but a suddenly coughing fit forced her to sit.

“Is that all I am to you?”

Lucy was coughing so hard now she barely heard his words.

Gerard’s anger receded as he watched her lean forward trying to catch her breath.

“Oh fuck, Lucy. I’m sorry.” He started to move towards her but she got to her feet and quickly ran towards the door. When he caught up to her she was already in the bathroom and he could hear her retching. He tried the door but she’d locked it.

“Open the door.” He yelled.

Lucy continued to retch.

Fear filled Gerard as he listened, “I’ll break the fuckin’ door down.” His only thought was to reach her.

A minute later he heard the lock disengage but the door didn’t open. Pushing his way in he saw she was kneeling in front of the toilet, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Shit.” He grabbed a washcloth then kneeled next to her. “I’m sorry.” He whispered wiping her cheeks. “So fuckin’ sorry.”

“I’m okay.” She whispered. “It’s just that thick shit out of my lungs that was choking me.”

Gerard realized that thick shit as she called it was choking her but it was caused because he’d upset her so badly. He’d been warned she needed to rest and stay calm but he’d pushed her, he’d caused this.

Lucy glanced over at him “Really, I’m okay. I’ll be out in a minute.” She hated for him to see her like this. Another bout of coughing caused her to spit up more mucus.

Gerard waited until she seemed to be done then wiped her mouth with the cloth. “Think you can move now?”

Lucy closed her eyes then nodded. Gerard helped her to her feet then before she could react he swept her up into his arm. She kept her eyes closed until she felt him lowering her to the sofa.

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry.” He said stroking her cheek.

She had to make him understand. “I wasn’t upset John saw us together. I know you believe I was…” She paused to cough then continued, “That’s not why I was upset.”

At least she admitted she was upset. “Then why?”

Lucy leaned back against the cushions feeling exhausted. “Your car.”

“My car?” He was shocked, “I don’t understand?”

“It reminded me of the day you arrived her.” She explained slowly still having trouble catching her breath. “It reminded me how I knew that night you were running from something, hell I even told you I knew.”

Gerard’s body tensed.

Lucy continued, “You even gave me a fake name at first.” She tired to take a deep breath but that only caused her to cough again.

“Hey” he said gently, “Let’s talk about this later.”

“No” She shook her head, “You need to understand. I’m fucking scared because in the back of my mind I realize there is so much about you I don’t know. I told you then it didn’t matter that we all had secrets but I’ve told you so many of mine.”

He wished with all his heart this topic hadn’t come up now, especially now.

“And I’m scared because…” She tried to take a deep breath again. “Because…” Fresh tears appeared in her eyes. “I don’t know how I could go on if I woke one morning and you were gone.” She leaned forward then closed her eyes trying not to cough.

“Oh Honey.” He caressed her back. “I’d never do that, I’d never just leave like that.” He understood her fear now, the only man she’d ever loved before had left her through no fault of his own but he had left her alone. “I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered, guilt consuming him because he knew one day he would have to leave to deal with the mess he’d left back in LA.

Lucy continued to lean forward taking shallow breaths.

He moved closer putting his arm around her small body. Slowly he began to speak wanting to incorporate as much truth to his words as he could. “I left LA because I was running from myself, from the man I’d become. I hated that man, hated that he got stinking drunk almost every fuckin’ day, hated how he treated people.” He paused, “But then everything in my life changed. When I met you it was like I was given a chance to change, you don’t realize it but you threw me a lifeline and I grabbed on. I want to be a better man.”

Lucy slowly sat back.

“I’ve been so selfish” Gerard whispered needing to admit the truth not just for her but for himself. “I’ve lived so much of my life putting myself first. I’ve been very lucky, in some way, too lucky. I blinded myself to what really is going on around me. But when I left LA I started to see things differently. At one truck stop I met a woman who’s afraid she and her husband will lose their business, one they’ve had for years. Before that wouldn’t have made one bit of difference to me, I wouldn’t have cared because it didn’t affect me in any way.” He realized it felt good to admit these things. “I met a long girl who works hard because she dreams one day of getting out of her small town and I found myself hoping she does.” Again he paused.

“What?” Lucy whispered seeing something cover his face she didn’t understand.

His mind was reliving the memory of the first night he’d stopped, of the woman he’d invited back to his room. All he’d wanted was a quick fuck, that’s all he’d cared about, that and alcohol. “Along the way I was forced to face things about myself.” He whispered unable to tell her that truth. “And I fuckin’ hated what I saw.”

Lucy leaned back against the cushions finally able to breath easy. When Gerard also leaned back she placed her head on his chest, her ear pressed against his heart.

“You’ve changed me.” Gerard said softly. “This place has changed me.”

“You’ve changed me too.” Lucy whispered. “A good change but at times…”

“Scary”

She nodded, “Very scary.”

For several minutes neither spoke lost in their own thoughts.

“Gerard?”

“Yeah, Honey?”

“Earlier today, the dream?”

She saw him nod.

“Rafe told me not to be afraid, that he’s happy I’m truly living again.”

Gerard’s eyes grew wide.

Lucy was looking up into his face. “Before you arrived the only dreams I had were nightmare, I’d see….” Tears sprang to her eyes, “The nightmares were always the same, the day he…”She couldn’t make herself go on.

Gerard grabbed her hand to hold it tightly.

“He’d thank you.” She whispered.

Gerard wished with all his heart he could tell her about his visits from Rafe but he was afraid how she’d react.

Lucy squeezed his hand, “He’d like that you’ve made me want to truly live again.” When he didn’t answer she was afraid her words had upset him. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, “Talking about dead husband…”

“Lucy” he cut her off. “Thank you for telling me. It means more to me than you could imagine.” He sat up to grab the pillow then after placing it on his lap he urged her to lay down.

“Rest.” He whispered stroking her cheek. “When you wake up I’ll make us a nice dinner, okay?”

Pure exhaustion hit her hard. “Okay” Her eyes fluttered closed.

Gerard stared down at her face filled with so much emotion he was finding it hard to breathe. What he’d told her was the truth, she had thrown him a lifeline, one he’d needed disparately. And in his heart he prayed he’d helped her too.

“Gerard?”

“Thought you were sleeping.” He whispered.

“Almost” She muttered, “But I need to make sure you understand. Before I met you I woke up each morning feeling nothing, nothing but crippling sadness. I never expected, never dreamed I’d feel any other way.” Her eyes opened, “But that’s all changed…you threw me a lifeline too.”

He leaned down to gently place a kiss on her lips. “Sleep” He smiled, “And know when you awake I’ll be right here, still holding you.”

Her eyes slowly closed; there was a beautiful smile on her lips.