“Ray, we have a problem.”

Ray shifted his cell then smiled a thanks to his wife who’d just handed him a glass of ice tea. “What’s, up Mikey? Have you heard from Gerard?”

“No and that’s the problem. Tom Syles called me this morning.”

“Oh shit.” Ray muttered, a call from one of Warner’s executives right now was probably not a good sign. “What did he say?”

“Of course he’s seen all the shit on the Net.” Mikey ground out angrily, “And
he knows Lindsey has filed for divorce.”

“Let me guess” Ray said slowly, “He wants to talk to Gerard.”

“Yeah, he called me wanting to know why Gerard is ignoring all his calls and e-mails.”

Ray sighed, “What did you tell him?”

“Fuck, I didn’t know exactly what to say. I don’t want him to think Gerard has checked out.”

“In a way he has.” Ray reminded him softly.

“I told him Gerard needed some time to deal with the divorce so he went off the grid.”

Ray sighed, “You think Gerard even knows?”

“About the divorce? I have no fuckin’ idea.”

“So what else did Tom say?”

“Warner is pretty pissed about the whole Karli fiasco. You know how they feel about bad publicity. And he’s really pissed Gerard didn’t make sure the woman sighed a Confidentiality Agreement.”

Ray could hear how upset Mikey was about the call. “Well, can’t do anything about that now.”

“They want Gerard to handle this. Tom told me he’d better hear from Gerard soon.”

“Did you explain you can’t get a hold of him?”

“I sorta danced around the issue, told him I’d try to get a hold of Gee but that I knew he’d gone to an area where Internet access was very limited.”

“Did he buy it?”

Mikey sighed, “I have no idea. He did sound pissed though.”

“And I’m guessing you’ve talked to your mom and dad?”


Again Mikey sighed, “Yeah, I really didn’t want to call ma but I knew it would be bad for her to hear about the divorce from anyone other than me.”

“How’d she take it?”

"Not good. I knew as soon as I told her she’d start looking on the Net so I had to tell her about Karli too.”

“Oh fuck.” Ray muttered.

“Yeah, ma is pissed beyond belief.”

“So is she worried about Gerard like you are?”

Mikey leaned back then closed his eyes, “No ma don’t worry like I do.” He said softly.

Ray felt overwhelming compassion for his friend. “Hey, that’s just because you know Gee better, you spend much more time with him than your mom does.”

“And” Mikey said sadly, “Because I hide a lot of shit about Gee from her, she doesn’t understand.”

“So what do we do?” Ray asked.

“I’ll keep trying to put off Tom as long as I can. I really don’t want to admit I have no idea where Gerard is or what the fuck he’s doing.”

"But how long can you do that?”

“I have no idea.” Mikey admitted shaking his head, “I just keep hoping every morning when I wake up that he’ll call me.”

“Well he does know we have a meeting set with the record company in a few weeks.” Ray said slowly, “I’m sure he wouldn’t miss that.”

“I’m glad you’re sure” Mikey said angrily, “Cause I sure the fuck ain’t sure. Hell he might just blow that off.”

_______________________________________________________

Lucy awoke from her afternoon nap feeling slightly better. This morning her stomach had been upset again and she’d argued with Gerard who’d insisted on her eating lunch since she’d only picked at her breakfast. While she understood he had her best interests at heart feeling so sick made her cranky.

Now as she looked across the room and saw his head bent over the paper she felt a wave of regret. “Gee?”

He looked up. “Hey, I was wondering when Sleepy was gonna wake up."

She lifted herself up on to her elbow. “What time is it?”

He glanced at his watch, “Almost four.”

“I’m so tired of being tired.” She muttered then forced herself to apologize for her earlier nasty attitude. “I’m sorry I was so damn cranky before.”

He walked over towards the sofa, “Hey, I didn’t take it to heart. I understood you felt bad.” He leaned down to touch her cheek, “How do you feel now?”

“Better, I think.”

He smiled, “You think?”

She pulled herself up into a sitting position, “Better I’m sure.”

He nodded happily, “Good. So you want to watch a movie now until dinnertime?”

Lucy frowned, “Actually I’d like to take a shower.”

“Oh, well…”

“Please? It would make me feel better.” She was determined to have a shower one way or another but hoped he’d agree.

“Do you have a hair dryer?”

Lucy blinked in confusion, “Why?”

“Well because I’m not letting you back into the air conditioning with wet hair.” He said crossing his arms.

Lucy sighed, “I don’t ever use a hair dryer.”

“Well that’s a problem.”

She was trying very hard not to lose her temper. “But I really need a shower.”

He could see she was trying not to snap at him again. “Okay how about this..I don’t want to turn the air off because it’s too damn hot. But I suppose if you promise to sit out on the glider until your hair is dry...”

“I promise.” Lucy nodded.

He grinned, “There is a nice breeze out there right now so it shouldn’t be too hot for you until your hair is dry.”

Lucy started to stand, “My hair dries fast.” Suddenly her smile slipped as the room seemed to tilt.

Gerard was there in an instant holding on to her arm. “Slow down, Lucy. You keep forgetting you’re weak.”

She closed her eyes a moment until the feeling passed “Shit” She whispered. “I’m okay now.”

“Maybe it would be better to wait until tomorrow morning?” He suggested.

Lucy hated feeling so weak, so dependent on someone else. “I’m going to take a shower now.”

Again he didn’t take offense to her words or tone. “Fine, woman.” He kept his grip tight on her arm. “You can have your damn shower if you don’t argue with me about it.”

Lucy’s eyes narrowed, “Argue with you about it?”

He nodded, “Yeah you heard me. Now do you want a shower?”

“You know I do.”

“Okay then.” Slowly he walked her towards the door then to the bottom of the steps. Lucy leaned heavily on him cursing under her breath.

Gerard sighed causing Lucy to look over at him in shock.

“I’m not cursing at you.”She whispered afraid she’s hurt his feelings. “I’m cursing myself.”

He smiled down at her. “I know that, Honey. I’m just sad you feel so fuckin’ bad.”

Lucy smiled but a moment later let out a yelp when he swept her up into his arms. “This is silly I can walk.” She sputtered.

“What part of don’t let her climb any stairs do you not understand?” He said rolling his eyes as he slowly started up the steps.

Lucy sighed but remained silent.

Once they reached the top of the stairs she expected him to put her down but instead he carried her all the way to the bathroom.

“Okay now just sit right there.” He said as he lowered her onto the closed toilet seat. “I’m gonna go grab you a clean gown.”

“And undies.” Lucy whispered looking down with embarrassment.

“And undies.” He grinned.

Lucy’s eyes were closed when he walked back in a few moments later.

Gerard set the pile of clothing he’d carried in on the back of the toilet. He then turned on the shower adjusting the water temperature. “Don’t want to get it too hot, we don’t want you dizzy again.”

Lucy wasn’t listening, her eyes were on the pile of clothing. He’d not only gotten her gown and undies he’d brought himself shorts and a tee.

“Stand woman.” He said gently reaching for her arm.

“I can take it from here.” She whispered.

He shook his head “Lucy, you are very weak, I know that pisses you off but it’s a fact. Now I’m gonna help you take a shower and remember you promised not to argue with me.”

“But I thought you were gonna let me take a shower alone.”

He grinned, “Well you thought wrong.” He pulled the gown over her head then quickly removed her panties.

Lucy kept her eyes closed the whole time. When she opened them she saw he too was naked.

Gerard smiled “Hey, you don’t want me to get my clothes all wet do you?”

The truth was she was now too tired to argue. “Suppose not.”

“Good girl.” Carefully he helped her step into the shower. “Now just lean back against the wall a minute.”

Lucy watched as he grabbed a bottle. When he turned her body and slowly began to massage the shampoo through her hair she sighed.

“Feel good?”

“Yes.” She whispered, “Very good.”

As soon as he stood back to let the spray wash the suds away he applied conditioner. He was watching her closely and saw her legs were shaky. “Lean back” He coaxed then applied gel to a washcloth. As he gently washed her body he whispered, “Now you get to smell like a strawberry.”

“That’s nice.” Lucy smiled. She loved how his hands gently glided over her skin.

Once she was completely washed he stood back to let the spray rinse her body. “Wanna get out and sit while I shower off?” He asked concerned because she was so weak.

“No” Lucy said slowly opening her eyes.

He shrugged, quickly washed his hair then hurriedly ran the washcloth over his body. He had just tilted his head back to make sure all the shampoo was rinsed from his hair when he felt her hands slide down his stomach.

“Lucy?” Their eyes locked.

She smiled as her hands gently slid lower to encircle his manhood.

“You don’t feel good enough…”

She spoke quickly, “You have no idea how much better this shower made me feel. Now I want to make you feel better.”

As much as he wanted this he shook his head, “No, when you’re better...”

Again she cut him off. “Gerard, please, I want to do this.” She whispered as she slowly began to stoke him.

“Oh fuck.” He was shocked at how his body was responding so quickly to her touch.

She held up one hand while keeping the other in place, “Gel”

He tried one last time to stop this. “Really Honey.”

“Gel” She said again, “Please don’t make the sick woman beg.”

His hands shook as he grabbed the bottle then squeezed a small amount on her palm. She smiled then lowered her hand to join the other. The slick gel made stroking him much easier, much faster. Soon Gerard’s breathing was ragged.

“Fuck that feels so good.” He ground out placing his hands on the wall behind her to steady himself.

Lucy could feel his release coming as his dick began to throb. She leaned forward never stopping her stocking to place a kiss at the base of his neck.

Gerard uttered a cry then exploded. After a few minutes he took a step back shaking his head, “God woman. Do you see what you do to me?”

She smiled as she slowly reached for the washcloth. Gently she wiped away his release from both of their bodies.

When she was done he pulled her into his arms. “That was not supposed to happen.”

Lucy giggled, “But aren’t you glad it did?”

“Yeah, of course but we need to get you back to your sofa. As much as I’d love to do the same for you I’m sure that’s not a good idea.”

“I am a little shaky now” She admitted.

He turned off the water then stepped out to grab a towel. Soon she was wrapped in it while he dried her body. Then he helped her pull on her panties and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek as he lowered the fresh gown over her head.

“Gee?”

The tone of her voice started him as he was dressing. Quickly he turned to her. “What is it? Do you feel sick?”

Lucy looked down, “No, I just want to thank you for taking such good care of me.”

He pulled on his shorts then bent down in front of her. “Honey, I told you it makes me happy you let me take care of you. I know this sucks for you, being sick, feeling so weak.”

She nodded, “Yeah but I’m sorry I’ve been bitchy.”

“No you haven’t.” He kissed the tip of her nose once he stood. “Now let’s get you back downstairs and get that hair dry.”

He carried her back down the steps ignoring her protects. Once on the porch he walked over to the glider then set her down on her feet. She started to sit but he pulled her onto his lap.
“Stretch out your legs.” He said softly. “And close your eyes.”

She leaned her head against his chest.

Using his foot he set the glider in motion the gently movement lulling her to sleep. For the next hour he held Lucy in his arms struggling with his emotions. How could loving her be wrong and yet he knew soon things would change between them. Soon once she was better he would force himself to tell her the truth, all of it. He believed in his heart she was falling in love with him but would that love survive the brutal truth of his deception? Would she believe how much he loved her?

A low rumble of thunder in the distance signaled another early summer storm approaching. Lucy shifted slightly startled by the sound but he tightened his arms around her.

“Just some thunder.” He whispered as he caressed her arm. “Don’t worry I’ve got you.”

Lucy smiled in her sleep.

_____________________________________

As the next ten days passed Gerard and Lucy fell into a comfortable routine. Slowly as her health improved so did her mood largely in part by the loving care Gerard heaped upon her.
Their days were spent watching movies, or working on his novel. While he refused to let Lucy type up what he’d written he was allowing her to read his work. He loved the way she finally began to offer her opinions and soon they were having in depth discussions about the story line and characters. While she might not realize it the fact that she had become the perfect sounding board helped Gerard immensely. He’d never before been able to work so closely with someone on a project like this one. He wasn’t afraid to tell her his ideas, wasn’t afraid of her critiques because he knew what she told him was honest. When she thought a plot point was wrong, she’d tell him then go on to explain her reasoning. Soon he realized she was just as much a part of the novel as he was. Often as he sat watching her pour over what he’d written he wondered if she realized the female character in the book was based on her. That character was strong, determined yet dealing with demons from her past that wouldn’t let go. Through his writing he was trying to make Lucy see that he understood, that he admired her, that he loved her.

Each night they slept together on the small mattress on the floor. Holding her so close was heaven and hell all wrapped in one. Not since the shower had she made any move sexually towards him and while he knew in part it was because he discouraged it at the same time his body was craving her touch.

It was early morning when Gerard slowly came awake believing he had been having a dream, a dream of Lucy’s hands on his body, stoking him gently.

Suddenly he realized it wasn’t a dream. Her hands had slid inside his shorts cradling his very awake manhood.

For a brief moment he tired to make himself open his eyes and move away.

Lucy knew he was awake but the fact that he kept his eyes closed gave her the encouragement she needed. Slowly she released him then tugged his shorts down his legs. She heard Gerard’s quick intake of breath.

“Go back to sleep.” She whispered playfully. “I’ll just entertain myself until you wake up.” Her hands had once more moved to stoke him.

“Entertain yourself?” he whispered.

Lucy giggled, “Yeah”

“Someone must be feeling better this morning.” He said softly hoping it was the truth.

“Someone woke up this morning feeling something poking her.”

“Shit” He moaned “Sorry.” He realized he had been dreaming about her and his body had given that dream away.

“I’m not.” Lucy scooted down slowly leaving a trail of kisses down his side. When her tongue left a wet trail down his length Gerard moaned softly.

“Lucy’ he tried to sit up.

She placed her hand on his chest to keep him in place. “Don’t bother me. I’m keeping myself entertained.” She swirled her tongue around his tip.

“But…”

She lifted her head, “It’s been almost two weeks. Dr Smiley said I could start moving around more.”

“She said you could start moving around more but that we weren’t supposed to tire yourself out.”

“Hey, I’m not even moving that much.” Lucy giggled, “I’m just laying here.” Again her tongue swirled around the tip.

“But…”

“Gerard” Lucy said with a sigh. “I’m not over exerting myself. All I’m doing is licking and well pretty soon sucking.” When he moaned she continued, “And then when you’re nice and hard I’m gonna climb over you.”

“Of fuck" His body was on fire. “And then?”

Her own heart was racing, “And then I’m gonna lower myself onto you. I’m going to bury you deep inside me.” She whispered breathlessly. Suddenly she looked up at his face. “Is that okay?”

The uncertainty in her voice made him open his eyes. “Of course that’s okay if it’s what you want.”

“What I want.” Lucy said slowly forcing herself to speak words she believed she’s never say again, “Is to make love to you.”

His racing heart filled with happiness. “I’m all yours, heart and soul.”

She smiled then lowered her head to take him completely into her mouth. Gerard closed his eyes again letting the emotion wash over him. All too soon he could feel his release coming.

“Honey, you’ve about got me there.” He whispered, his hands clutching the sheet at his sides.

She lifted her head, smiled, then slowly moved her body over his. Gerard’s arms went around her urging her on. When she lowered herself on to him he could feel she was wet and ready.

“Oh Lucy.” He moaned, “Yes.”

Slowly she pulled her knees up so she could better control the movements of her body. She placed her palms on his chest allowing herself to lift then lower herself on to him over and over.

“Baby, that feels so good.” He whispered. “But I’m not going to last long this way.”

Lucy continued to move her body but now she pushed off his chest so she could arch her back as she buried him deep inside her core. Gerard moved his hands down her back, stroking her soft skin.

“Oh” Lucy cried out as she felt her muscles tighten around him.

“That’s it.” He crooned, “Come for me. Let me see.”

As she quickened the pace her hands moved up to her breasts.

“That’s beautiful” Gerard said urging her on. “Fuckin’ beautiful.”

Lucy teased her nipples as the orgasm grew nearer. She lowered her body on to him once more then cried out.

“Beautiful’ Gerard too felt his release. He exploded into her crying out her name.

Lucy collapsed onto his chest, still keeping him inside her. “Wow” She muttered trying to catch her breath.

“You okay?” he asked caressing her back.

“Oh very okay.” She said placing her lips on his chest.

“Woman that was a hell of a way to wake me up.” He grinned.

Lucy kissed the base of his neck. “You we’re pleased?”

“Very pleased.” He whispered. “But I think we should change our routine this morning.”

She lifted her head. “What?”

He smiled, “I’ll go deal with the girls then we’ll take a shower. How’s that sound?”

“Heavenly” She put her head back down on his chest. “But I don’t want to move yet.”

Something in her tone struck him as wrong. “You sure you’re feeling okay?”

She nodded.

Gerard stroked her back, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Lucy sighed, “I was just hoping this was okay for you. I mean…well it was sorta of…normal.”

Gerard lifted his head to give her a shocked look, “Normal?”

Lucy kept her head on his chest refusing to look at him. “You know what I mean. Before we’ve…it’s been…”She sighed, “Exciting and kinky.”

Slowly he realized what was happening; he just prayed she did too. “Yes, it’s been exciting and yeah, kinky.” He paused lowering his voice, “That’s a good way to describe the sex we had.” He held his breath waiting for her to speak.

“This was different.” She whispered closing her eyes.

He hugged her to him. “Yeah, it was.” When she didn’t speak he hoped pushing her was the right thing to do but he had to know, “Tell me why it was different.” Immediately he wished he hadn’t spoken when he felt her tears on his chest.

Her voice was choked with emotion, “Because this time…we made love.”

Gerard was overcome by emotion. “Yeah, Honey. That’s exactly right.”

For several minutes neither spoke.

Lucy forced herself to lift her body so she could look into his eyes. “This scares me.” She admitted softly.

Gerard brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I know, me too.”

Lucy took a deep breath willing herself to ignore the fear, “But that’s not to say soon I won’t want that kinky sex too.”

His laugh was deep and rich. “Lord woman, I never know what to expect out of your mouth.”

Lucy grinned, “Hey, just being honest.”

________________________________________________________

In LA the early morning phone call was unexpected and it’s effect devastating.

“Mikey, I have to tell you something.”

Immediately he knew by the sound of her voice something was very wrong. “What is it, Lindsey?”

She rubbed her forehead willing herself to speak. “I was contacted by the police this morning.”

“What?” Mikey’s heart skipped a beat.

“They were called by the Highway Patrol in Kansas.” Her voice was shaky. “Someone found Gerard’s duffle bag.”