The Storm
You've Made Me Want To Live Again
After taking care of the bill Gerard helped Lucy out to the truck.
“Shit it’s gonna be a hot one.” He muttered.
Lucy grinned slightly, “You’re starting to sound like a local.”
He lifted her into the passenger set. “Suppose I am.”
As they drove towards the pharmacy he glanced over at the bank’s digital sign, “It’s already 93 degrees and it’s only 8:30.”
“Hot one.” Lucy said leaning her head back.
Gerard reminded her he’d placed the little bucket they’d given them before leaving along with final instructions.
“I know.” Lucy whispered. “But right now my stomach has calmed down.”
“Part of it might have been worry.” He said softly.
“I was very scared.” She admitted. “I would never have guessed pneumonia.”
“Me either.” He pulled the truck into the parking lot pleased to see the pharmacy had a drive through. At the window he handed over the prescriptions and was told it would be about twenty minutes. That was perfect he’d already seen the Wal-Mart where he planned on getting groceries. He was going to get enough stuff he wouldn’t need to leave Lucy for any supplies for a least a week.
When they reached the huge discount store he parked then turned to her. Lucy’s eyes were closed. “I’m gonna run in and get some stuff but it’s so hot I’m gonna leave the engine running.”
She forced her eyes open. “Not too long it might overheat.”
He nodded, “I’ll be quick but I need you to reach over and lock my door.” He’d already locked her’s when he’d placed her in the truck.
“What?”
“Lucy, I’m gonna leave the engine running and unless I miss my guess you’re gonna fall asleep.”
“So?”
“I don’t want anyone to try to take the truck.” He explained.
His words were met with a laugh that turned into coughing. When she could finally speak she said, “Gerard, honestly. We’re in Iola Kansas not LA. No one is gonna try to steal this old piece of shit with a sick woman inside.”
He realized she was probably right but he didn’t want to take any chances where her safely was concerned. “Look, I’ll lock it myself. You just have to let me in when I get back.”
“Okay.” Her head went back as her eyes closed.
Gerard was about to close the door when he spotted something behind the seat. Pressing it back into shape first he asked, “Does this look okay?”
Again she forced her eyes open but when she did she gasped.
Immediately he understood, “Shit, this is his isn’t it?” He grabbed the cowboy hat off his head.
“No” Lucy said softly, “Put it back on, it looks good. It just sorta shocked me for a moment.”
“You sure?”
She smiled sadly, “You’re wearing his clothes and it’s just a hat.”
He nodded, pushed down the door lock then closed the door.
Inside the truck Lucy leaned back again trying to ignore the emotions seeing Gerard wearing the hat had caused. She’d known the hat was there, she’d planned on never moving it from its spot where Rolf had left it. “He’ll never replace Rafe” She whispered to herself but that thought made he feel even worse.
Inside the store Gerard grabbed a cart then headed for the grocery department. In his mind he was going over things he thought she’d be able to eat without upsetting her stomach. Soon the cart was half full. In the pet department he grabbed a bag of food and some treats for Rex, then he headed towards electronics. Lucy might not realize it now but being laid up for a long period of time would be hard and boring. He hoped his plan would help.
He was so lost in thought he never saw the young girl following him through the store.
_____________________________________________________
Mikey finished his call then headed back to the bedroom. Alicia had heard him get up and was sitting up in bed waiting for his return.
“Who was it?” She asked as he crawled back into bed.
“Dale. He just called to let me know he’d run Gerard’s plates but didn’t find anything.”
“Oh” She hated the sadness in her husband’s voice.
“Maybe he’ll never come back.”
She moved into his arms, molding her body to his. “That’s a silly thing to say. Of course he’ll come back. You know how much your brother loves Bandit.”
“She ain’t here.” Mikey reminded her. “And who knows if Lindsey is ever planning on coming back to stay. Once the divorce is final she might choose to live in New York.”
“Gerard will want partial custody of Bandit.”
“Will he? I don’t know anything for sure about him anymore. I get the feeling he was starting to hate his life out here.”
Alicia sighed, “Mikey we moved here because that’s where Gerard wanted to live.”
He gave her a shocked look, “I thought you liked it here?”
“I do” She said quickly “but the truth is we are here, same as Ray and Christa because Gerard moved here first. You know that’s true. Hell Frank his family spend a lot of time here too.”
Mikey closed is eyes a minute lost in thought. “Seems a lot of people follow his lead, don’t they?”
She knew she had to be careful how she answered, Mikey was very sensitive about the topic of his brother. “Yeah, in a way that’s true.”
“You know.” He paused a moment, “The more I think about all of this, I don’t know if I should be worried or pissed. If he’s okay and just hiding out, I’m pissed. Leaving like he did, not getting in contact with me, is pretty fuckin’ selfish on his part. Gee, knows me, he knows how much I worry.”
She had to speak her mind, “But in a way that’s your fault too. I know you worry, too much most of the time. Gerard is a grown man who makes his own decisions without worrying what anyone else thinks. He doesn’t consult you when he decided to do something, he never has. He just does what he wants then everyone else falls into line.”
Mikey gave her a surprised look, “You really believe that?”
“Don’t you” She challenged.
He was shocked to realize what she said was true. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. But it’s not like he demanded we do what he wants, he didn’t say he wanted us to move out here.”
“He didn’t need to,” Alicia said softly, “He know his friends will go along with what he does.”
“Fuck” Mikey closed his eyes.
She wanted to make sure he understood her point. “Look I’m not saying he’s a bad person, I’m just saying he pretty much gets his way most of the time. You and the rest of the band follow his lead and he knows you all will, he expects you to. That’s because it’s always been that way since the beginning of the band. No matter what he does you guys go along. No one questions Gerard.”
“You’ve never said anything like this before.”
Alicia sat back up. “No, I haven’t because I love you and I know how much you love your brother. But right now I’m pissed. Since he took off I’ve watched you worry yourself more and more each day and that makes me angry. I believe Gerard took off because the shit here got to be more then he wanted to deal with. He didn’t stop to think how his leaving would affect you. He did what he wanted because that’s how he is. He knows no matter what you’ll forgive him for all the shit he’s put you through.”
Mikey sat up. “Okay that definitely sounds like you don’t like him.”
She sighed, “I didn’t say that. I said I’m pissed. In a way it’s not his fault. He’s like a spoiled child but he’s that way because none of you guys stand up to him.”
“And you really believe he’s okay?”
She nodded, “Yeah, I do. He’ll wander back, you’ll tell him how worried you were and he’ll just shrug. And then you’ll tell him it’s okay.” She paused, “I feel this way because I love you so much.”
Mikey pulled her into his arms. “I love you too.” He whispered.
She hugged him then said, “So let’s have a nice relaxing day. No worrying about Gerard.”
He looked into her eyes, “Yeah, okay. What do you want to do?”
She smiled, “Well, I don’t know about the rest of the day but right now…” She leaned over to kiss him deeply making what she wanted very clear.
________________________________________________
Gerard paid for his items then slowly pushed his cart through the heavy sliding glass doors into the hot sunlight. He was halfway to the truck when his heart started to race. The truck was there, still running, but it appeared empty.
“Shit’ He said pushing the cart faster. A few moments later he sighed with relief. Lucy was still in the truck just laying down on the bench seat. He gently knocked on the glass and saw her open her eyes.
Lucy struggled to sit up then unlocked her door.
“Hey” He smiled, “I tried to hurry. I’m gonna put the bags of perishable items at your feet, okay?”
She moved her legs towards the middle of the floor.
Once he got those bags in he put the rest of the stuff in the bed of the truck. By the time he was done sweat was pouring down his face. He got in, closed the door then took a minute to lean back allowing the cool air to hit his face.
“Are you okay?” Lucy asked.
He grinned over at her, “Hey, that’s supposed to be my question to you. I’m just hot, it’s gotta be 100, but how are you feeling?”
“Tired” She admitted. “But at least I don’t feel sick to my stomach.” She crinkled her nose, “I sound funny don’t I?”
He laughed, “Yeah, a bit. It’s that stupid pneumonia.”
She nodded, “Yeah, stupid pneumonia.”
“Well” He said shifting the truck, “Lets get you and your stupid pneumonia home. Just one more stop to get your meds and we’ll be on our way.”
“This sucks.” Lucy said leaning her head back. “I don’t want to be sick but Dr Smiley is wrong, it won’t take me that long to recover.”
He’d been afraid she’d have this attitude. “Lucy you might as well get it through that beautiful head of yours right now, it’s gonna take you a while to recover but hey, you’ve got a great nurse.”
She glanced over at him. “It’s not fair to you.”
He smiled, “I told you Lucy, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I don’t mind at all that I’ll be taking care of you. And don’t think for a minute I don’t know that if I was the one sitting there with pneumonia you’d be ready to take care of me.”
She smiled slightly, “That’s true.”
As they headed out of town Lucy once more fell asleep. Gerard took the opportunity to say a small prayer of thanks, something he didn’t often do. But the fact that he now knew what was wrong with Lucy, and that she would recover made the prayer important. He also realized as the miles passed that for the first time in his life someone was totally depending on him. Before that knowledge would have bothered him, he didn’t like that kind of responsibility but in Lucy’s case he welcomed the responsibility. He wanted to take care of her. He stole a quick glace at her then turned his eyes back to the road. This woman was changing him, making him rethink how he’d been living his life. However he still understood there were so many things he had to make right. He needed to face his wife and deal with their failed marriage. He needed to make plans to have a stable life for Bandit because he definitely wanted part time custody.
Suddenly thinking about his daughter made him frown. God, he missed her.
“What’s wrong?”
He hadn’t realized Lucy was awake and watching him.
“Nothing” He lied.
“You’re frowning.”
“Just remembered I wanted to buy a watermelon but I forgot.” He hoped she’s buy that lie.
“Oh” She closed her eyes again. Without opening them she said softly, “That hat looks really good on you.”
He stole a quick glace at himself in the rear view mirror. “You think?”
She nodded, “Yep. You make a very handsome cowboy.”
Gerard laughed “A cowboy? Man, that’s a look I’ve never tried before.” Since they were on the highway now he could take his hand off the shift. Reaching over he gently stroked her cheek. “If I’m a cowboy are you my cowgirl?”
Her eyes fluttered open. “I have a matching hat.”
He grinned, “Well here we are on the open range on our way to the homestead.” He was pleased to see her smile.
“Guess that’s true” She said softly before falling back asleep.
_________________________________________________
Gerard pulled the truck into the driveway then stopped as close to the house as he could. He gently touched Lucy’s cheek. “Honey, we’re home. You stay right here, I’m gonna make a trip with some of the stuff then I’ll come back to get you.”
She sat up slowly, “I can walk in.”
“Excuse me” He teased “But as your nurse I’m giving you a direct order, don’t move.”
She sighed but nodded.
He grabbed as many of the bags he could near her feet then started for the house. Rex greeted him barking happily. “She’s gonna be fine.” He told the dog. “But we’re gonna have to take care of her for a while.”
Rex followed him inside. Quickly he placed the items from the bags inside the fridge then sprinted to the living room. There he turned on the air wishing he’d thought of it before they’d left this morning. Next he headed upstairs to gather up the items he needed.
Lucy woke when he opened the passenger door.
“Okay woman, time to get you inside.” He lifted her into his arms after reaching across and shutting off the motor.
“I can walk” She said again.
“Too bad.” He grinned, “But I’m in charge and I want to carry you.”
“Where’s Rex?”
“Inside already. I told him you’re gonna be okay and he was so happy to hear that he asked if he could come in and visit you.”
“You and Rex really talk a lot, don’t you?”
Gerard laughed as he pulled open the back door. “Yeah, we’ve bonded, for sure.” He gently placed her on her feet. “Okay, need to use the bathroom?”
She shook her head.
“Alright then woman, this way.” He led her slowly towards the living room. When he opened the door the room was already cooling nicely.
Lucy was surprised to see he’d made a bed for her on the sofa.
“This is where you’re gonna be spending a lot of time” He explained as he led her across the room. He pulled her to a halt then quickly started to undress her.
“I…”
“No arguing.” He said pulling the gown he’d brought down over her head. “Want you to be comfortable.”
He got her settled on the sofa. “Now there is a light blanket at your feet if you need it.”
She looked up at him. “What are you gonna do?”
“I’ve got to unload the rest of the truck. You just lay there and be beautiful.”
She snorted.
“Hey, that’s not very ladylike.” He teased.
She rolled her eyes at him.
Rex who was across the room walked over to lick Lucy’s hand.
“See he was worried about you.” Gerard said.
“Hey Rex” Lucy smiled, “Sorry I worried you.”
“You had us both worried” Gerard said softly. “But it’s all okay now. Be back soon.”
__________________________________________________
Again by the time he unloaded the truck he was sweating. He grabbed several items out of the bag, filled a glass with ice water then headed back to the living room. Lucy’s eyes opened when she heard him come in.
“Okay” he said “Time for you to take a fever reducer.”
“I don’t feel hot.”
“They said to give you one when we got home.” He reminded her. “You get your first antibiotic after lunch.”
She struggled to sit up then swallowed the pill washing it down with the water he handed her.
“Good girl, now I’ve got to go put things away but I brought you some magazines.” He pointed to them on the coffee table.
“Thanks” Lucy said “But I’m too tired right now.”
He nodded, “Sleep is the best thing for you.” He started towards the door but stopped to look at Rex, “Okay take care of her, I’ll be back soon.”
Rex wagged his tail then barked.
Lucy smiled, “Thanks guys.”
“No need to thank us” Gerard said softly.
An hour later Gerard was in the kitchen starting to make lunch when he heard Rex barking. He ran to the living room and when he entered saw Lucy lying on the floor.
“Lucy, honey, what happened?” He asked kneeling beside her.
“Stupid blanket.” She muttered. “Tried to get up and it got tangled around my feet.”
“Are you hurt?”
She sighed, “Just my pride.”
He gave a sigh of relief. Gently he took her arm to help her stand. “Why were you getting up?”
“Bathroom”
“You should have yelled for me.”
“I tried but my voice is too messed up. This is as loud as it gets.”
“That will change soon.” He smiled, “Soon you’ll be back to yelling at me.”
“I’ve never yelled at you.” She frowned.
“I was kidding.” He said slowly walking her to the door.
Once she made it to the bathroom he waited just outside the door.
“Go away.” She muttered as loudly as she could.
“How do you know I’m here?”
Lucy sighed, “You and Rex are out there. His tail is banging against the door.”
Gerard looked down to see that Rex’s tail was indeed wagging happily smacking the door in the process. “You gave away our location.” He said to the dog. “Come on, I’ve got a treat for you.” He and Rex moved into the kitchen. He’d just put Rex outside when he heard the bathroom door open.
Immediately he was back at her side to help her back to the sofa.
“I hate this.” She whispered as he got her back on the sofa.
Gerard gently stocked her hair, “I know it sucks. Now I’ve about got lunch ready so try not to fall back asleep.”
She nodded.
When he returned a few minutes later he was glad to see she was still sitting up. “Okay, lunch is served.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“But you have to eat. Look it’s just soup and crackers.” He said placing the tray on the coffee table.
“You heated up soup? It’s too hot to do that.”
“Well since you don’t have a microwave…”
He was shocked by her answer, “Prison cells don’t have microwaves.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” She muttered eyeing the bowl of soup.
He sat down next to her. “Lucy, why did you make your home a prison?” He asked gently hoping she would admit the truth.
She turned to stare at him. “Because I’m fucked up.”
Again he was shocked by her answer.
She lifted a soda cracker off the tray taking a small bite.
“No, you’re really not.”
Lucy sighed, “I am and you know it.”
As much as he wanted her to admit the truth about so many things he knew it would be bad for her to get upset. “Hey, I’m pretty fucked up myself.”
Lucy tilted her head to stare into his eyes. “Why?”
He really wished he could take back his last statement. As true at it had been he couldn’t really explain it to her, not now. He leaned back trying to come up with an answer.
“It’s okay.” Lucy said softly. “You don’t want to tell me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you.” He said slowly, “It’s just…I’m still trying to figure it out myself. Since I got here I’ve been realizing stuff about myself that don’t make me happy. Guess I’m trying to figure out a way to change things.”
She took another bite of the cracker chewing slowly. “Me too” She finally admitted.
Gerard smiled, “Woman, eat your soup.”
She lifted the small bowl but her hands were shaking.
“Here” He said softly taking it from her. He held the bowl while Lucy spooned a bite into her mouth.
“Can’t even eat stupid soup by myself.” Tears appeared in her eyes.
Gerard smiled, “Now the poor soup is stupid.”
She nodded while swiping at her eyes.
“Just remember each day you’re gonna be getting a little bit better.”
She carefully scooped up another spoonful. For several minutes Gerard held the bowl while she ate. When it was half empty she placed the spoon back in the bowl. “I can’t eat anymore.”
He sat the bowl down on the tray. “That’s okay you ate half of it.” He reached over and grabbed her pills he’d set on the table. Taking one out he handed it to her along with the glass of water.
Lucy swallowed it then leaned back. Sensing he was about to leave she said, “Gerard.”
“Yeah?”
“What I said about dying…”
He knew exactly what she’d said, it had broken his heart. “Yeah?”
She stretched out on the sofa then closed her eyes, “You’ve made me want to live again.”
Nothing she could have said would have made him happier. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, “We’ll figure this all out together.” He whispered.
Lucy smiled slightly then immediately fell back asleep.
____________________________________________
The rest of the afternoon Gerard sat in a chair across the room working on his story and watching Lucy sleep. He spent more time watching her when writing. When dinner time came he set the legal pad aside then stood.
Lucy’s eyes opened.
“Hey” He moved over to the sofa. “I’m just gonna go make some dinner.”
“I can help.”
He laughed, “No you can’t and you won’t. Need to use the bathroom?”
She nodded.
He helped her stand.
As they walked down the hallway she sighed, “This sucks.”
Gerard chuckled, “Think I’d be a rich man if I had a dollar for every time you’ve said and are gonna say that.”
“Think you are.”
His hand tightened on her arm. “What?”
“Rich” She said softly.
Again she was treading into a subject he wanted to avoid. “Not rich, just comfortable.”
“I’m going to pay you back for the groceries you bought today and the doctors bill and…”
He sighed, “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Wow someone woke up cranky” He teased.
They had reached the bathroom. Lucy rolled her eyes at him then closed the door.
When she came out she saw Gerard working at the kitchen counter. Slowly she walked towards him.
“Back to the living room.” He said wiping his hands on a towel.
“I wanna stay with you.”
“Lucy it’s still very hot, the temp hasn’t dropped at all.” Suddenly he was alarmed when he saw her shiver. “Shit, you need fever reducer. Come on.” He took her arm leading her back towards the living room. Once she was seated on the sofa he pulled the blanked over her shoulders then opened the correct pill bottle. “Here”
She swallowed the pill then leaned back against the cushions.
“Cold.” She muttered.
“I could turn off the air but it wouldn’t help.” He said sitting down next to her. “You’re cold because of the fever.”He pulled her into his arms kissing her hot forehead.
“Stupid fever.” She whispered as she snuggled closer to him.
He laughed, “Yeah, stupid fever.”
“Stupid Lucy.” She whispered.
He hugged her tighter, “No Lucy is a lot of things but stupid definitely isn’t one of them.”
“You don’t know”
“I know more than you realize.” He said caressing her back.
_________________________________________________
Lucy at little of the dinner he prepared but she did eat a bit and it stayed down. Once she’d taken her pill she’d fallen back asleep.
Now it was almost ten pm and Gerard realized he was tired. He set the legal pad down the silently stole from the room. The rest of the house was still very hot as he headed upstairs. He took a very quick shower afraid Lucy would wake while he was gone, slipped into a pair of sweat shorts then headed into her bedroom.
Lucy awoke when she heard him struggling to carry something through the door. “What are you doing?” She asked, her eyes wide.
Gerard pulled the mattress through the door then closed it. “Hope you don’t mind but since we’ll be sleeping down here…”
“You brought my mattress down?”
He let it fall on the floor near the wall. “Yeah, thought I’d make myself a bed.”
Lucy’s mind was still fuzzy. “So it’s still hot?”
He nodded. “Very.”
“Well I could have slept upstairs and you could sleep on the sofa.”
He rolled his eyes, “Woman you vex me. First off you aren’t allowed to climb stairs, secondly do you really think for one minute I’d let you sleep upstairs alone? What if you needed something?”
“I can’t climb stairs?”
He sighed dramatically, “Okay obviously you don’t remember the final instructions they gave us. No, you aren’t supposed to climb stairs.”
“That’s stupid.”
“That’s the rules.”
“But what about the shower? I’m gonna need a shower.”
He’d already thought about that. “I’ll carry you up.”
“Of for God’s sake.” She moaned, “That’s stupid.”
He ignored her crankiness because he knew she still felt terrible. “Stupid or not that’s the way it is. Unless you want me to hose you off on the porch.”
Lucy glared at him. “Not funny.”
Gerard ignored her leaving the room. When he returned with a pillow and blanket she was still glaring.He took out her final pill for the day then handed it to her after throwing the things he’d carried down on the mattress.
Lucy took it then pill then leaned back. He covered her with a blanket then turned off the light leaving on only a small night light. She heard him move towards the mattress. For several minutes she stared up at the ceiling.
“Night Lucy” He called out softly. He sighed when she didn’t answer.
Several more minutes passed. Gerard closed his eyes as sleep started to threaten. It has been a long, hot, stressful day. He’d just dozed off when a sound made his eyes snap open. Lifting his body up on his elbow he saw Lucy slowly standing. “What are you doing?”
She ignored the question as she slowly moved towards him. Gerard smiled and scooted over as she lowered her body to the mattress. When she was stretched out next to him he placed his arm around her.
“Good night Gerard.” She whispered snuggling her body closer to his.
Gerard fell asleep with a smile in his face.
“Shit it’s gonna be a hot one.” He muttered.
Lucy grinned slightly, “You’re starting to sound like a local.”
He lifted her into the passenger set. “Suppose I am.”
As they drove towards the pharmacy he glanced over at the bank’s digital sign, “It’s already 93 degrees and it’s only 8:30.”
“Hot one.” Lucy said leaning her head back.
Gerard reminded her he’d placed the little bucket they’d given them before leaving along with final instructions.
“I know.” Lucy whispered. “But right now my stomach has calmed down.”
“Part of it might have been worry.” He said softly.
“I was very scared.” She admitted. “I would never have guessed pneumonia.”
“Me either.” He pulled the truck into the parking lot pleased to see the pharmacy had a drive through. At the window he handed over the prescriptions and was told it would be about twenty minutes. That was perfect he’d already seen the Wal-Mart where he planned on getting groceries. He was going to get enough stuff he wouldn’t need to leave Lucy for any supplies for a least a week.
When they reached the huge discount store he parked then turned to her. Lucy’s eyes were closed. “I’m gonna run in and get some stuff but it’s so hot I’m gonna leave the engine running.”
She forced her eyes open. “Not too long it might overheat.”
He nodded, “I’ll be quick but I need you to reach over and lock my door.” He’d already locked her’s when he’d placed her in the truck.
“What?”
“Lucy, I’m gonna leave the engine running and unless I miss my guess you’re gonna fall asleep.”
“So?”
“I don’t want anyone to try to take the truck.” He explained.
His words were met with a laugh that turned into coughing. When she could finally speak she said, “Gerard, honestly. We’re in Iola Kansas not LA. No one is gonna try to steal this old piece of shit with a sick woman inside.”
He realized she was probably right but he didn’t want to take any chances where her safely was concerned. “Look, I’ll lock it myself. You just have to let me in when I get back.”
“Okay.” Her head went back as her eyes closed.
Gerard was about to close the door when he spotted something behind the seat. Pressing it back into shape first he asked, “Does this look okay?”
Again she forced her eyes open but when she did she gasped.
Immediately he understood, “Shit, this is his isn’t it?” He grabbed the cowboy hat off his head.
“No” Lucy said softly, “Put it back on, it looks good. It just sorta shocked me for a moment.”
“You sure?”
She smiled sadly, “You’re wearing his clothes and it’s just a hat.”
He nodded, pushed down the door lock then closed the door.
Inside the truck Lucy leaned back again trying to ignore the emotions seeing Gerard wearing the hat had caused. She’d known the hat was there, she’d planned on never moving it from its spot where Rolf had left it. “He’ll never replace Rafe” She whispered to herself but that thought made he feel even worse.
Inside the store Gerard grabbed a cart then headed for the grocery department. In his mind he was going over things he thought she’d be able to eat without upsetting her stomach. Soon the cart was half full. In the pet department he grabbed a bag of food and some treats for Rex, then he headed towards electronics. Lucy might not realize it now but being laid up for a long period of time would be hard and boring. He hoped his plan would help.
He was so lost in thought he never saw the young girl following him through the store.
_____________________________________________________
Mikey finished his call then headed back to the bedroom. Alicia had heard him get up and was sitting up in bed waiting for his return.
“Who was it?” She asked as he crawled back into bed.
“Dale. He just called to let me know he’d run Gerard’s plates but didn’t find anything.”
“Oh” She hated the sadness in her husband’s voice.
“Maybe he’ll never come back.”
She moved into his arms, molding her body to his. “That’s a silly thing to say. Of course he’ll come back. You know how much your brother loves Bandit.”
“She ain’t here.” Mikey reminded her. “And who knows if Lindsey is ever planning on coming back to stay. Once the divorce is final she might choose to live in New York.”
“Gerard will want partial custody of Bandit.”
“Will he? I don’t know anything for sure about him anymore. I get the feeling he was starting to hate his life out here.”
Alicia sighed, “Mikey we moved here because that’s where Gerard wanted to live.”
He gave her a shocked look, “I thought you liked it here?”
“I do” She said quickly “but the truth is we are here, same as Ray and Christa because Gerard moved here first. You know that’s true. Hell Frank his family spend a lot of time here too.”
Mikey closed is eyes a minute lost in thought. “Seems a lot of people follow his lead, don’t they?”
She knew she had to be careful how she answered, Mikey was very sensitive about the topic of his brother. “Yeah, in a way that’s true.”
“You know.” He paused a moment, “The more I think about all of this, I don’t know if I should be worried or pissed. If he’s okay and just hiding out, I’m pissed. Leaving like he did, not getting in contact with me, is pretty fuckin’ selfish on his part. Gee, knows me, he knows how much I worry.”
She had to speak her mind, “But in a way that’s your fault too. I know you worry, too much most of the time. Gerard is a grown man who makes his own decisions without worrying what anyone else thinks. He doesn’t consult you when he decided to do something, he never has. He just does what he wants then everyone else falls into line.”
Mikey gave her a surprised look, “You really believe that?”
“Don’t you” She challenged.
He was shocked to realize what she said was true. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. But it’s not like he demanded we do what he wants, he didn’t say he wanted us to move out here.”
“He didn’t need to,” Alicia said softly, “He know his friends will go along with what he does.”
“Fuck” Mikey closed his eyes.
She wanted to make sure he understood her point. “Look I’m not saying he’s a bad person, I’m just saying he pretty much gets his way most of the time. You and the rest of the band follow his lead and he knows you all will, he expects you to. That’s because it’s always been that way since the beginning of the band. No matter what he does you guys go along. No one questions Gerard.”
“You’ve never said anything like this before.”
Alicia sat back up. “No, I haven’t because I love you and I know how much you love your brother. But right now I’m pissed. Since he took off I’ve watched you worry yourself more and more each day and that makes me angry. I believe Gerard took off because the shit here got to be more then he wanted to deal with. He didn’t stop to think how his leaving would affect you. He did what he wanted because that’s how he is. He knows no matter what you’ll forgive him for all the shit he’s put you through.”
Mikey sat up. “Okay that definitely sounds like you don’t like him.”
She sighed, “I didn’t say that. I said I’m pissed. In a way it’s not his fault. He’s like a spoiled child but he’s that way because none of you guys stand up to him.”
“And you really believe he’s okay?”
She nodded, “Yeah, I do. He’ll wander back, you’ll tell him how worried you were and he’ll just shrug. And then you’ll tell him it’s okay.” She paused, “I feel this way because I love you so much.”
Mikey pulled her into his arms. “I love you too.” He whispered.
She hugged him then said, “So let’s have a nice relaxing day. No worrying about Gerard.”
He looked into her eyes, “Yeah, okay. What do you want to do?”
She smiled, “Well, I don’t know about the rest of the day but right now…” She leaned over to kiss him deeply making what she wanted very clear.
________________________________________________
Gerard paid for his items then slowly pushed his cart through the heavy sliding glass doors into the hot sunlight. He was halfway to the truck when his heart started to race. The truck was there, still running, but it appeared empty.
“Shit’ He said pushing the cart faster. A few moments later he sighed with relief. Lucy was still in the truck just laying down on the bench seat. He gently knocked on the glass and saw her open her eyes.
Lucy struggled to sit up then unlocked her door.
“Hey” He smiled, “I tried to hurry. I’m gonna put the bags of perishable items at your feet, okay?”
She moved her legs towards the middle of the floor.
Once he got those bags in he put the rest of the stuff in the bed of the truck. By the time he was done sweat was pouring down his face. He got in, closed the door then took a minute to lean back allowing the cool air to hit his face.
“Are you okay?” Lucy asked.
He grinned over at her, “Hey, that’s supposed to be my question to you. I’m just hot, it’s gotta be 100, but how are you feeling?”
“Tired” She admitted. “But at least I don’t feel sick to my stomach.” She crinkled her nose, “I sound funny don’t I?”
He laughed, “Yeah, a bit. It’s that stupid pneumonia.”
She nodded, “Yeah, stupid pneumonia.”
“Well” He said shifting the truck, “Lets get you and your stupid pneumonia home. Just one more stop to get your meds and we’ll be on our way.”
“This sucks.” Lucy said leaning her head back. “I don’t want to be sick but Dr Smiley is wrong, it won’t take me that long to recover.”
He’d been afraid she’d have this attitude. “Lucy you might as well get it through that beautiful head of yours right now, it’s gonna take you a while to recover but hey, you’ve got a great nurse.”
She glanced over at him. “It’s not fair to you.”
He smiled, “I told you Lucy, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I don’t mind at all that I’ll be taking care of you. And don’t think for a minute I don’t know that if I was the one sitting there with pneumonia you’d be ready to take care of me.”
She smiled slightly, “That’s true.”
As they headed out of town Lucy once more fell asleep. Gerard took the opportunity to say a small prayer of thanks, something he didn’t often do. But the fact that he now knew what was wrong with Lucy, and that she would recover made the prayer important. He also realized as the miles passed that for the first time in his life someone was totally depending on him. Before that knowledge would have bothered him, he didn’t like that kind of responsibility but in Lucy’s case he welcomed the responsibility. He wanted to take care of her. He stole a quick glace at her then turned his eyes back to the road. This woman was changing him, making him rethink how he’d been living his life. However he still understood there were so many things he had to make right. He needed to face his wife and deal with their failed marriage. He needed to make plans to have a stable life for Bandit because he definitely wanted part time custody.
Suddenly thinking about his daughter made him frown. God, he missed her.
“What’s wrong?”
He hadn’t realized Lucy was awake and watching him.
“Nothing” He lied.
“You’re frowning.”
“Just remembered I wanted to buy a watermelon but I forgot.” He hoped she’s buy that lie.
“Oh” She closed her eyes again. Without opening them she said softly, “That hat looks really good on you.”
He stole a quick glace at himself in the rear view mirror. “You think?”
She nodded, “Yep. You make a very handsome cowboy.”
Gerard laughed “A cowboy? Man, that’s a look I’ve never tried before.” Since they were on the highway now he could take his hand off the shift. Reaching over he gently stroked her cheek. “If I’m a cowboy are you my cowgirl?”
Her eyes fluttered open. “I have a matching hat.”
He grinned, “Well here we are on the open range on our way to the homestead.” He was pleased to see her smile.
“Guess that’s true” She said softly before falling back asleep.
_________________________________________________
Gerard pulled the truck into the driveway then stopped as close to the house as he could. He gently touched Lucy’s cheek. “Honey, we’re home. You stay right here, I’m gonna make a trip with some of the stuff then I’ll come back to get you.”
She sat up slowly, “I can walk in.”
“Excuse me” He teased “But as your nurse I’m giving you a direct order, don’t move.”
She sighed but nodded.
He grabbed as many of the bags he could near her feet then started for the house. Rex greeted him barking happily. “She’s gonna be fine.” He told the dog. “But we’re gonna have to take care of her for a while.”
Rex followed him inside. Quickly he placed the items from the bags inside the fridge then sprinted to the living room. There he turned on the air wishing he’d thought of it before they’d left this morning. Next he headed upstairs to gather up the items he needed.
Lucy woke when he opened the passenger door.
“Okay woman, time to get you inside.” He lifted her into his arms after reaching across and shutting off the motor.
“I can walk” She said again.
“Too bad.” He grinned, “But I’m in charge and I want to carry you.”
“Where’s Rex?”
“Inside already. I told him you’re gonna be okay and he was so happy to hear that he asked if he could come in and visit you.”
“You and Rex really talk a lot, don’t you?”
Gerard laughed as he pulled open the back door. “Yeah, we’ve bonded, for sure.” He gently placed her on her feet. “Okay, need to use the bathroom?”
She shook her head.
“Alright then woman, this way.” He led her slowly towards the living room. When he opened the door the room was already cooling nicely.
Lucy was surprised to see he’d made a bed for her on the sofa.
“This is where you’re gonna be spending a lot of time” He explained as he led her across the room. He pulled her to a halt then quickly started to undress her.
“I…”
“No arguing.” He said pulling the gown he’d brought down over her head. “Want you to be comfortable.”
He got her settled on the sofa. “Now there is a light blanket at your feet if you need it.”
She looked up at him. “What are you gonna do?”
“I’ve got to unload the rest of the truck. You just lay there and be beautiful.”
She snorted.
“Hey, that’s not very ladylike.” He teased.
She rolled her eyes at him.
Rex who was across the room walked over to lick Lucy’s hand.
“See he was worried about you.” Gerard said.
“Hey Rex” Lucy smiled, “Sorry I worried you.”
“You had us both worried” Gerard said softly. “But it’s all okay now. Be back soon.”
__________________________________________________
Again by the time he unloaded the truck he was sweating. He grabbed several items out of the bag, filled a glass with ice water then headed back to the living room. Lucy’s eyes opened when she heard him come in.
“Okay” he said “Time for you to take a fever reducer.”
“I don’t feel hot.”
“They said to give you one when we got home.” He reminded her. “You get your first antibiotic after lunch.”
She struggled to sit up then swallowed the pill washing it down with the water he handed her.
“Good girl, now I’ve got to go put things away but I brought you some magazines.” He pointed to them on the coffee table.
“Thanks” Lucy said “But I’m too tired right now.”
He nodded, “Sleep is the best thing for you.” He started towards the door but stopped to look at Rex, “Okay take care of her, I’ll be back soon.”
Rex wagged his tail then barked.
Lucy smiled, “Thanks guys.”
“No need to thank us” Gerard said softly.
An hour later Gerard was in the kitchen starting to make lunch when he heard Rex barking. He ran to the living room and when he entered saw Lucy lying on the floor.
“Lucy, honey, what happened?” He asked kneeling beside her.
“Stupid blanket.” She muttered. “Tried to get up and it got tangled around my feet.”
“Are you hurt?”
She sighed, “Just my pride.”
He gave a sigh of relief. Gently he took her arm to help her stand. “Why were you getting up?”
“Bathroom”
“You should have yelled for me.”
“I tried but my voice is too messed up. This is as loud as it gets.”
“That will change soon.” He smiled, “Soon you’ll be back to yelling at me.”
“I’ve never yelled at you.” She frowned.
“I was kidding.” He said slowly walking her to the door.
Once she made it to the bathroom he waited just outside the door.
“Go away.” She muttered as loudly as she could.
“How do you know I’m here?”
Lucy sighed, “You and Rex are out there. His tail is banging against the door.”
Gerard looked down to see that Rex’s tail was indeed wagging happily smacking the door in the process. “You gave away our location.” He said to the dog. “Come on, I’ve got a treat for you.” He and Rex moved into the kitchen. He’d just put Rex outside when he heard the bathroom door open.
Immediately he was back at her side to help her back to the sofa.
“I hate this.” She whispered as he got her back on the sofa.
Gerard gently stocked her hair, “I know it sucks. Now I’ve about got lunch ready so try not to fall back asleep.”
She nodded.
When he returned a few minutes later he was glad to see she was still sitting up. “Okay, lunch is served.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“But you have to eat. Look it’s just soup and crackers.” He said placing the tray on the coffee table.
“You heated up soup? It’s too hot to do that.”
“Well since you don’t have a microwave…”
He was shocked by her answer, “Prison cells don’t have microwaves.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” She muttered eyeing the bowl of soup.
He sat down next to her. “Lucy, why did you make your home a prison?” He asked gently hoping she would admit the truth.
She turned to stare at him. “Because I’m fucked up.”
Again he was shocked by her answer.
She lifted a soda cracker off the tray taking a small bite.
“No, you’re really not.”
Lucy sighed, “I am and you know it.”
As much as he wanted her to admit the truth about so many things he knew it would be bad for her to get upset. “Hey, I’m pretty fucked up myself.”
Lucy tilted her head to stare into his eyes. “Why?”
He really wished he could take back his last statement. As true at it had been he couldn’t really explain it to her, not now. He leaned back trying to come up with an answer.
“It’s okay.” Lucy said softly. “You don’t want to tell me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you.” He said slowly, “It’s just…I’m still trying to figure it out myself. Since I got here I’ve been realizing stuff about myself that don’t make me happy. Guess I’m trying to figure out a way to change things.”
She took another bite of the cracker chewing slowly. “Me too” She finally admitted.
Gerard smiled, “Woman, eat your soup.”
She lifted the small bowl but her hands were shaking.
“Here” He said softly taking it from her. He held the bowl while Lucy spooned a bite into her mouth.
“Can’t even eat stupid soup by myself.” Tears appeared in her eyes.
Gerard smiled, “Now the poor soup is stupid.”
She nodded while swiping at her eyes.
“Just remember each day you’re gonna be getting a little bit better.”
She carefully scooped up another spoonful. For several minutes Gerard held the bowl while she ate. When it was half empty she placed the spoon back in the bowl. “I can’t eat anymore.”
He sat the bowl down on the tray. “That’s okay you ate half of it.” He reached over and grabbed her pills he’d set on the table. Taking one out he handed it to her along with the glass of water.
Lucy swallowed it then leaned back. Sensing he was about to leave she said, “Gerard.”
“Yeah?”
“What I said about dying…”
He knew exactly what she’d said, it had broken his heart. “Yeah?”
She stretched out on the sofa then closed her eyes, “You’ve made me want to live again.”
Nothing she could have said would have made him happier. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, “We’ll figure this all out together.” He whispered.
Lucy smiled slightly then immediately fell back asleep.
____________________________________________
The rest of the afternoon Gerard sat in a chair across the room working on his story and watching Lucy sleep. He spent more time watching her when writing. When dinner time came he set the legal pad aside then stood.
Lucy’s eyes opened.
“Hey” He moved over to the sofa. “I’m just gonna go make some dinner.”
“I can help.”
He laughed, “No you can’t and you won’t. Need to use the bathroom?”
She nodded.
He helped her stand.
As they walked down the hallway she sighed, “This sucks.”
Gerard chuckled, “Think I’d be a rich man if I had a dollar for every time you’ve said and are gonna say that.”
“Think you are.”
His hand tightened on her arm. “What?”
“Rich” She said softly.
Again she was treading into a subject he wanted to avoid. “Not rich, just comfortable.”
“I’m going to pay you back for the groceries you bought today and the doctors bill and…”
He sighed, “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Wow someone woke up cranky” He teased.
They had reached the bathroom. Lucy rolled her eyes at him then closed the door.
When she came out she saw Gerard working at the kitchen counter. Slowly she walked towards him.
“Back to the living room.” He said wiping his hands on a towel.
“I wanna stay with you.”
“Lucy it’s still very hot, the temp hasn’t dropped at all.” Suddenly he was alarmed when he saw her shiver. “Shit, you need fever reducer. Come on.” He took her arm leading her back towards the living room. Once she was seated on the sofa he pulled the blanked over her shoulders then opened the correct pill bottle. “Here”
She swallowed the pill then leaned back against the cushions.
“Cold.” She muttered.
“I could turn off the air but it wouldn’t help.” He said sitting down next to her. “You’re cold because of the fever.”He pulled her into his arms kissing her hot forehead.
“Stupid fever.” She whispered as she snuggled closer to him.
He laughed, “Yeah, stupid fever.”
“Stupid Lucy.” She whispered.
He hugged her tighter, “No Lucy is a lot of things but stupid definitely isn’t one of them.”
“You don’t know”
“I know more than you realize.” He said caressing her back.
_________________________________________________
Lucy at little of the dinner he prepared but she did eat a bit and it stayed down. Once she’d taken her pill she’d fallen back asleep.
Now it was almost ten pm and Gerard realized he was tired. He set the legal pad down the silently stole from the room. The rest of the house was still very hot as he headed upstairs. He took a very quick shower afraid Lucy would wake while he was gone, slipped into a pair of sweat shorts then headed into her bedroom.
Lucy awoke when she heard him struggling to carry something through the door. “What are you doing?” She asked, her eyes wide.
Gerard pulled the mattress through the door then closed it. “Hope you don’t mind but since we’ll be sleeping down here…”
“You brought my mattress down?”
He let it fall on the floor near the wall. “Yeah, thought I’d make myself a bed.”
Lucy’s mind was still fuzzy. “So it’s still hot?”
He nodded. “Very.”
“Well I could have slept upstairs and you could sleep on the sofa.”
He rolled his eyes, “Woman you vex me. First off you aren’t allowed to climb stairs, secondly do you really think for one minute I’d let you sleep upstairs alone? What if you needed something?”
“I can’t climb stairs?”
He sighed dramatically, “Okay obviously you don’t remember the final instructions they gave us. No, you aren’t supposed to climb stairs.”
“That’s stupid.”
“That’s the rules.”
“But what about the shower? I’m gonna need a shower.”
He’d already thought about that. “I’ll carry you up.”
“Of for God’s sake.” She moaned, “That’s stupid.”
He ignored her crankiness because he knew she still felt terrible. “Stupid or not that’s the way it is. Unless you want me to hose you off on the porch.”
Lucy glared at him. “Not funny.”
Gerard ignored her leaving the room. When he returned with a pillow and blanket she was still glaring.He took out her final pill for the day then handed it to her after throwing the things he’d carried down on the mattress.
Lucy took it then pill then leaned back. He covered her with a blanket then turned off the light leaving on only a small night light. She heard him move towards the mattress. For several minutes she stared up at the ceiling.
“Night Lucy” He called out softly. He sighed when she didn’t answer.
Several more minutes passed. Gerard closed his eyes as sleep started to threaten. It has been a long, hot, stressful day. He’d just dozed off when a sound made his eyes snap open. Lifting his body up on his elbow he saw Lucy slowly standing. “What are you doing?”
She ignored the question as she slowly moved towards him. Gerard smiled and scooted over as she lowered her body to the mattress. When she was stretched out next to him he placed his arm around her.
“Good night Gerard.” She whispered snuggling her body closer to his.
Gerard fell asleep with a smile in his face.
I absolutely loved this story! You are a very gifted writer & I
hope to find & read your other stories. I also look forward to reading Gerard’s book. Thank you!
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