It's Not a Fashion Statement

FRANKS POV
I wake up and move to go to the toilet, when a pain shoots up my ass and back, causing me to whine out.
“Are you okay, Frankie?”
Gerard turns over and props himself up on his elbows.
“It hurts,”
He sighs and flips the covers off himself, standing up and rubbing his eyes and stretching.
“Lie back down, I’ll get some painkillers for you,” I try to object and tell him there’s no need, but he’s already gone so I might as well just let him. I climb back into the bed, the pain still there.
He comes back with a glass of water, some painkillers and a bowl of strawberries, because he’s fucking amazing.
He climbs back into the bed next to me, and places the bowl and the glass on the bedside table, handing me the painkillers.
I knock them down with the water and crash back into the pillow, the feathery feel and cushions absorbing my body into the mattress.
Gerard starts stroking my hair, brushing it out with his fingers and messing around with it. It feels so nice, having him play with my hair and stare into my eyes like I’m the most important person in the world; when honestly I’m not.
“I really love you frank. Do you understand how much you mean to me?”
He states out of nowhere, breaking the comfortable silence. It’s like he could read my mind, because that’s exactly what I was questioning myself.
I don’t reply and look at him instead, like were talking through our eyes. Don’t you think it’s kind of weird how you can read someone’s emotions just from the look in their eyes?

He starts again, still messing with my hair
“Because you mean so much to me frank, and I don’t think I could ever let you go, ever,”

I lean my head back onto the pillow, and shut my eyes, loving the feel of Gerard’s fingers play in my hair, as I listen to his soft voice.
“You have really nice hair, Frankie,”
“Courtesy of your shampoo, though,” I murmur, half asleep.
He chuckles and continues stroking my hair.
“No really, I mean it, it’s so soft and luscious and thick, it smells amazing and it’s such a nice colour, chocolaty, and warm and it frames your face perfectly,”
I keep my eyes shut and I smile to myself.
“Do you realise how beautiful you are, Frankie?”
I feel his thumb grace over my cheek and trace around my jawline.
“Because you’re really beautiful,”
I feel him tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear, as he continues to compliment my features and stroke my hair.
“You have a really cute nose. It’s like a perfect shape, and your skin is so soft and clear,”
he graces his fingers over my skin and rubs the apples of my cheeks with his thumbs.
“your lips are so soft and plump, they’re so kissable, and fragile,”
I feel myself blush, the complements bombarding me.
“and your eyes, your eyes are one of my favourite parts of your face, even though it’s all perfect. But your eyes, they're so warm and bright, so intriguing. They're so caring and absorbing, I could look into them all day, you know? I’d never get bored, because they’re just so beautiful,”
I open my eyes and look up at him, as he smiles down on me, and it warms my heart to know that someone actually cares about me this much.
I feel like tearing up, my heart is pounding and so many emotions are buzzing around my body. You know those moments when you look right into someone’s eyes, and your heart just melts?

I’ve never had anyone look at me like gerard does, treat me like gerard does, care about me like he does. He’s always putting me first, thinking about me over him, and it’s amazing, knowing your life is actually valued by someone so much, knowing that you can make such a difference to someone.

He lightly drags his finger down my cheek and traces my jawline again, his gentle touch slightly tickling my skin. He wraps his arm around me and buries his head in the crook of my neck, and it feels sort of weird, it’s usually the other way around, but I like it, it’s really nice.

He wraps his arms around my back and buries his head even deeper into my neck; I can feel his breathing tickle my skin.
“You make me so weak frank, I don’t even know what to do anymore, if you left, I just-“
He starts sobbing into my shoulder, then looks up at me, teary eyed and smiling.
“I just really love you and I’ve never felt like this, ever, and I just can’t help but worry about loosing you, and I’m sorry-“
I shush him and hug him closer to me, like I’m holding on for dear life.
“I really love you too gee.”
He hugs me even closer, and grips a hand into my hair, messing round with it again.
“you’re cool Frankie. I don’t know how I was so lucky to meet you, youre so amazing. Youre so caring and funny, your so beautiful and selfless. I don’t understand what I did to deserve you, y‘know?”
I hum in reply, gripping onto gerard.
“I could say the same about you gee.”

-
GERARDS POV
“okay, 3,2,1-“ click.
I lean my hand on Frankie’s shoulder, posing in front of the camera. Frankie is standing in front; wearing one of the suits I designed for the new line, whilst I’m in another. Frankie and I were asked to do a photo shoot together, for the front of a magazine.
It’s really cool, being able to shoot with Frankie. Ever since some people saw us kissing at the event on Halloween, I’ve had a few interviews and comments on our relationship. Actually, that’s a lie, it’s fucking everywhere.
‘Gerard way is gay?’ I’ve heard a few of those.
‘His models just a fling for him, he’ll pick up a female fashion designer from France or something,’
What do people not understand about gay? I’m not bisexual; I’ve established that many, many times to the public. And people still seem to think I’ll just change my mind and end up marrying a sophisticated female model in a year or two.
I’m gay; I knew that since I was seven. I’m with Frankie; this isn’t just a ‘thing’. I want it to last, fuck, until the day I die. I’ll never feel like this again, no one can possibly make me feel the way Frankie does.

But then there’s also a lot of complements, like, ‘hottest new couple,” with photos from the New York new fashion show from a week before Frankie’s birthday. It’s okay though, no one knows he wasn’t seventeen then, and a few days wouldn’t get me into too much trouble if anyone found out anyway.
So that’s always nice, it’s great switching on the TV and a talk show is on mentioning how adorable you and your boyfriend are together.

So we're here now, shooting together for a magazine cover.
I look back at Frankie and my heart melts. He’s so gorgeous, sometimes I question if he’s even real.

“Okay, we’re on a break, we’ll be back in twenty. Can we get either of you anything?”
“na, we’re cool,” I answer, I hopes they will leave so we can finally have a bit of time alone.

After they leave, Frankie sits himself down, crossing his legs on the floor. I join him and take his hand in mine, rubbing his knuckles softly.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask, curious.
“How much of a good boyfriend you are,” I smile and blush, wrapping my arms around Frankie neck and attaching our lips.
“You’re not too bad yourself.” I mumble into the kiss, not really sure if he even got any of that or if it was just a load of my slobber.

“Hey, Mr. Way, sorry to disturb you, but can we interview you guys if you have some spare time?” a voice came from the door around the corner, they were obviously oblivious to the fact we were busy and making out.

I pull away and sigh, still smiling and rolling my eyes, receiving a giggle from Frankie. I jump up and hold my hand out for Frankie, as I pull him up and he jumps to his feet. I brush off his suit and he thanks me, doing the same for me.

-
after the questions about my new line and paris, they asked me about Frankie.
“So, how log have you guys been dating?”
“A while.” I reply briefly, not wanting to give too much information away.
“How did you meet, or how did you start dating?”
Well that’s a touchy one. I met him on the streets he was homeless and then I brought him home, got turned on and forced myself on him, then felt guilty and got wasted and then found my self in hospital and somehow we started dating. I shiver at the thought of what I did that night before I ended up in hospital.

“Gerard?”
I snap out of my trace and just reply with he started modelling for me and we liked each other quite a bit. I guess that’s true.

“Do you feel this is a relationship that is going to last?”
This one, I have no problem with answering honestly.
“I do, I do. Everyday, I think about what I’d do with out him in my life, I know that Frankie is honestly the one for me. I know he is, no one has ever made me feel the way he does, I love him so much. And I hope, one day I will marry him-“
I’ve never opened up this much to another person, this is most I’ve ever said relating to myself. It’s so easy talking about Frankie, and to be honest, even if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t be able to refrain from talking about him.
“Really? Wow, so you really mean it when you say you guys are for real?”
“Yes, I’m 100% sure. He’s my whole world; ever since I’ve met him my life has been so much brighter. And people say, ‘oh you’ll get bored soon, the spark will die’, but every day it still feels like the first time I felt a real connection, I fact, it grows. I swear it’s not possible to love him more, but the next day it just seems to happen,”
I look over to the corner of the room where he’s sitting, and he’s blushing like mad, his face a whole new shade of pink. I’m pretty sure he’s crying, or at least on the verge of tears, because he’s wiping his eyes and blinking a lot. There’s the biggest grin on his face, and it makes me really happy to know I’ve put it there.
-

I hear the mailbox click open then closed. I pick up the magazine and I turn over the front, my confusion vanishing when I notice the cover is Frankie and I. I was wondering why I had a magazine posted; I never read magazines.

I flip to a page with our photo as the background, and I scan over the text.
‘Sorry ladies and gentlemen, gerard way is well and truly taken’ I smile at myself, finally someone has got the message Frankie isn’t just a fling for me.
“Hey, Frankie, look at this,”
I shout from the front door. I start walking into the living room, flicking through a few of the pages about my line and then reading over the paragraph about Frankie and I.
“What’s up babe?” he asks, from his position slouched into the sofa.

I slump down next to him and wrap an arm around his shoulder, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then passing over the magazine.
He studies the front of it, then flicks to a page of us.
“We look hot,”
“Yeah… we do, don’t we,”

“If it were possible, our kids would be hot as hell,”
“Mostly on your behalf,” I add, chuckling.
“Gerard you’re like the hottest human in existence, I don’t think so,”
“No, you’re the hottest human in existence,”
He giggles and cuddles himself up to my chest.
“I’m totally not,”
“Yes you totally are.” I add, as I tickle him around his sides.
“Hey! Stop- oh my god gerard stop!” he laughs, kicking his legs and lying down along the length of the sofa, holding onto the sides so he doesn’t fall off.
“And you’re the most adorable,” I add again, climbing on top of him and attaching my lips to his.

I feel Frankie smile into the kiss, making me smile back and pull apart.
“Anyway, you should read it,” I tell him, moving off his figure so he can sit up, passing him the copy of the magazine.
He flicks to the page and starts to read it, smiling and sniffing a bit in between.
“Ugh, I love you so much gerard,”
He throws his arms around me, engulfing me in a huge hug and dipping his head into the crook of my neck.
“I love you so much too Frankie.”
-
“Frankie, we have to nip into work, I need to pick up some things for Paris tomorrow, wanna come?”
“Of course.”
He immediately jumps up off the sofa and runs up the stairs, a few minutes later returning with a wool jumper on and some skinny jeans and converse. He’s so cute.

I call Joe, and five minutes later he’s here.
Frankie and I climb in and link hands, as I decide I should talk to Joe and get to know him a bit better.
“So how are you?” I ask, he looks confused at first; trying to figure out if I am talking to him.
“Yes, I’m talking to you, Joe,”
He smiles and starts,
“Good, excellent in fact. It’s mine and my wife’s one year anniversary today as well so that’s pretty sweet,”
He shows me his ring and I smile, admiring the platinum ring around his finger.
“Not bad, Joe,” frank chimes in from behind me.
I chuckle at franks remark and hug him round the shoulder, giving him a peck on the forehead.
“Congrats. If I’d have known I would’ve just driven myself, you should be spending time with her, I’m sorry-“
“na it’s cool, don’t worry about it. She had some spa thing anyway; she booked it a while ago, so she’s probably there now. I’m not missing much, honestly,”
It makes me feel a bit better, but I still kind of feel bad about it.

We pull up outside my building, as I pull frank out with me and thank Joe.
I grab his hand and walk along the road, rocking our hands back and forth.
We push the door open and make our way to the elevator, when jess calls from reception that there’s someone in my office who apparently knows Frankie very well and needed to find him. Frankie looks confused, but I know that jess would not let anyone pass unless they really did know Frankie, and jess would have made sure that who ever it is wasn’t making it up that they know Frankie. Jess is clever, she has her ways.

I allow Frankie in first, when he suddenly stops in his tracks and he looks like he’s about to burst into tears.

I move around to hug him, folding my arms around him and kissing his forehead.

“Frankie, darling!”
we turn our heads to the figure sat in a chair in my office. I have no idea who it is, but Frankie seems to.
He suddenly turns from looking sad to extremely angry, clutching his fists and his eyes clouding over with darkness, his pupils small and his eyebrows furrowed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
He shouts, taking both the woman and me in surprise.

“I’m here to say how proud I am of you sweetie,” she states, a smug look playing on her face. She has blonde dyed hair curled, tanned olive skin and huge manicured nails. She seems to have some resemblance to Frankie, features wise, but nothing else matches up. I have a feeling she is some relative.

“proud? Oh yeah well you sure didn’t think that when you kicked me out of the house at the age of fucking sixteen to fend for myself for months, in the freezing cold, with completely no one,”
Oh. His mother.
“I never did such a thing,” she denies, a smirk still ghosting over her face.
I don’t like this woman very much, at all.

“Get out, seriously, I never want to see you again. Don’t ever come back to me, ever-“

She stands up and moves closer to him, moving to cup his cheeks with her hands.
“DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH ME-“ he flinches away, and into my arms, wrapping himself up in my embrace.
I stroke his back, shushing him and trying to calm his sobs that have suddenly erupted.

“I think it’s best that you’d leave,” I state, trying to stay calm even though I’m fuming. How dare she just walk in and pretend to care for Frankie, after everything she’s put him through?

“awh baby, come here, I love you sweetie, I haven’t seen you in so long-“ she moves to hug Frankie, but he bats her away and moves to the other end of the room.


“no you don’t love me, you never have, no one ever has. You only ever wanted me if I was successful, how dare you say you love me-”

“Of course I love you, you’re my son,”

“No, you don’t. How dare you say that… you completely neglected me and constantly treated me like shit. The only person who has ever loved me is gerard, because he actually cares about me-“ he shouts, his voice echoing around the room and tears sliding down his face. I run over and wipe his tears away from under his eyes, gripping him into a hug.

“Leave, now.” I say to the woman, and when she looks like she is going to refuse, I raise my voice and she instantly backs down and makes her way to the elevator.

“Oh god, baby are you okay?”
I grip him into my arms and wipe the tears away from under his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine… I just, really don’t want to see her- ever-“ I nod and rub his back in understanding.
“I’m sorry,”
He pulls away and manages to smile, giggling and playfully pushing me on the elbow.
“It’s not your fault you idiot,”
I love how Frankie can get over things so easily, and just deal with what happens so well, I look up to him for that. I wish I were a strong as him, all that he’s gone through and he still manages to smile and laugh, thinking about the positive over the negatives. It takes a lot to be able to do that.

Notes

asdfghjK MUCH STRESS SORRY FOR LACK OF UPDATES OOPS