Sing It Out

As the day went by, I didn't manage to find out anything about this mysterious person, Gerard. We have practically the same lessons, apart from he takes extra art, and he still didn't talk to me at any point. I tried to get him to talk by asking him questions about the work, but he just quickly glanced at me and continued working. I didn't even get a note. I have to admit again, it was the second time today that I was disappointed.

As the clock ever nearer the beloved 3:15, the end of the school day, I couldn't see Gerard anywhere. Against my will, i started to actually get concerned. He didn't know anyone, he didn't know where he was, and if he doesn't talk, he is a sitting duck for the jocks and sluts. 3 O Clock finally tolled and I began to gather all my stuff together. Maths is really fucking boring, you can never really get it right and I just hate how... Bland it is. Ten more minutes till freedom and I simply put my head on the desk and let my thoughts wonder. What do I do about Gerard? I feel like he's going to be such an important person in my life, but the other important person, Ray, doesn't want me anywhere near him. Do I leave a friendship to go to something new and unpredictable? Or do I stay with the same, safe friend that is trying to control me? I can tell you now, one of those options stands out more than the other.

The sound of the bell ringing in my ear snaps me out of my imagination and dream worlds and I get up quickly and rush out the class to draw less attention to myself. I'm going to find Gerard and try and get him to talk to me. I need to know. I want to know him more, be friends. But for some reason, my mind is telling me I want more than friendship. Goddamnit, I need to stop obsessing over strangers. I walk out the door to find Ray, as if watching over me, sternly looking at me, waiting.
"Hey dude, we walking home?" He asked, not friendly, but almost demandingly. I'm not fucking having this.
"No, I've got to go into town and grab some things for mom," I replied, almost confidently. I hate lying.
"Oh... Okay, well, I guess I'll just... See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, see you Ray!" I said whilst walking off, waving slightly. Of course I'm not going into town, and if I am, I'm going with Gerard. I know he had History last so I practically run to where he should be and believe it or not, my raven haired boy stood there. Wait, MY raven haired boy?! Since when was I this possessive? Oh well.
"Hey Gerard! Want me to escort you home or something?" He simply looked at me and reached for something in his pocket. I was confused until he pulled out a small notebook and pen and began to scribble down something again.

'No, thank you. I've got to be somewhere tonight.' It read

"Oh, okay then, I guess I'll just see you tomorrow" I said gloomily. He noticed my disappointment again and shot me a smile. I swear my heart melted in my chest, this boy was gorgeous. I just wish he would just smile all the fucking time. Oh gosh. He quickly left and headed for the front gates.

I decided to go the long way home, texting mom I had to 'meet some friends' but really, I was just aimlessly walking around. I passed off licenses, DVD stored, comic shops, book shops and clothing stores. Nothing caught my eye until I saw a little poster on a single lonely pole. I looked a little closer and read it

'NEW TO CASADINOS: Fantastic new singer, plays every Thursday for your entertainment.'

It had a small image of a microphone in the corner. I don't know why, but I really wanted to go. I can pass off as a eighteen year old normally so I guess a night of 'fun' wouldn't go a miss. Drowning myself with alcohol sounds great right now as I've probably lost one friend and never gained another.

I feel so alone. I walk past couples and complete strangers with their friends and I can't stop feeling this dark emptiness in the pit of my stomach.

*time lapse, later that night*

I picked out the nicest outfit I had. Black skinny jeans, Iron Maiden shirt, converse that were actually clean for a change and I fixed my hair so I didn't look like some kind of mad scientist and I actually looked sort of decent. I did a final check in the mirror, decided that I'm not getting any better, and sprinted downstairs to a rather confused mom.
"Hey sweetie, dinner is just about ready.... Where are you going?" she asked.
"I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, friends have invited me over for a bit. Just to chill but I shouldn't be long."
"Oh... Okay, have fun and I'll just keep your dinner on the side ready for later." she said rather sadly. She hated being on her own and I hate leaving her, but it's just for one night. She knows I kida want a bit if a social life.
"Thanks mom, love you!" I shouted before practically running out the front door.

I finally realised after five minutes of walking in the directon of the bar, it'll be pretty damn lonely of me to just walk in on my own, so I decided to call Ray.
"What is it Frank?"
"Hey Ray, erm I was wondering if you wanted to go to Casadinos for a drink. They've got an act on tonight and I thought it would be quite funny." I explained.
"Yeah sure, I'll be there in five." he said bluntly, I think what happened earlier really got to him, but that doesn't give him permission to be a total fucking jerk about it. Oh well, friendship. I turned the corner to enter the street where the bar stands and it doesn't actually look that busy. Which is an advantage for me, crowded spaces gives me the creeps. I'm probably just claustrophobic or I just don't fucking like people. Either way, it's a thing.

I've been sitting on this wall for a few minutes until I hear a familiar voice.
"Alright short arse, let's go!" Ray said, seems as if hes off his man period and damn that was fast. Fucking mood swing Raymond.
"Dick, yeah sure let's go." I hopped off the wall with a thud, nearly loosing my balance and we walked into the bar. It's rather funny that there is literally nobody here to check our age or ask for our license. Nobody gives a shit really. The place was so run down, it had the muggiest and grabbiest feeling about it as some of the tables weren't clean, the wallpaper was stained and the bar still had remainders of, probably, last nights beer on it. Oh well, it's not like we're here for the decor. Ray looked just as disgusted as I am.
"I'll go grab us some drinks quickly, the poster says the act will start soon." Ray said as he walked off, pulling his wallet out his pocket. Yep, he's a lot more happier and chilled than earlier. I glanced over at the other people here, seems like they're just the regulars out for a drink with their mates. They don't seem fussed about the acts thats about to come on. I've seen some local bands in pubs before and some of them were actually pretty damn good, but others just sounded as if they should've just stayed in their garage, or just stopped playing all together.

Ray waddled over with two pint glasses over spilling as he cursed rather loudly.
"The staff here really shouldn't be running a pub, Jesus Christ. I stink like a fucking whorehouse." he laughed. I chucked at this remark as I tried to picture Ray as a whore. I'm going to tell you now, don't even bother. The sight isn't pretty at all. I found myself laughing pretty loudly as Ray looked at me rather confused.
"What the fuck man? What's tickled you?" Ray wondered. It only caused me to laugh even louder.
"I, I, I -" I attempted to control my laughter "I can just imagine you walking around in the smallest of underwear, charging people to caress your hair as you give them a fucking lap dance!" I was in stitches. "We need to come up with whore names ohmygod!" and with that, Ray got up and decided to act like a prostitute.
"Hey guyssss," Ray said, attempting to sound sexy "I'm Raymond, but you can call me sunshine sweetie." he winked. I cringed at the thought.
The lights began to dim as I hit Ray signalling the start of the act. By this time, I have consumed a considerate amount of alcohol and I really needed to pee. But I couldn't go now! Damn it. The owner of the bar walked onto the stage.
"Hello everyone, thanks for coming out tonight." he began and Ray whooped. What a fucking embarrassment.
"Er, yeah" the manager stumbled. "So this is your new source of entertainment for the next few months, please welcome him onto the stage!"
Oh so it's a male singer. I dont know why, but I do prefer male singers to female. They're just so unique and voices can vary a lot more. Oh well. My focus is drawn to the rustle of equipment as the singer stumbled onto the stage. I was presented with someone I didn't want to see, but wanted to see at the same time.
It was my Raven haired boy

Gerard motherfucking Way.

Notes

IM BACK FROM MY TRAVELS. Happy (or not so happy) anniversary killjoys. Two years without them has been awful and I've been dreading this day. Oh well, I decided to upload today for that reason. But yeah, I'll also be uploading tomorrow.