Sing It Out

She began crying. 
But not from happiness or relief, but from genuine sadness and... Disappointment. I didn't understand. 
"Mom?" I whispered as she backed away from me. 
"Mom?" she continued crying. What was the matter?
"Mom!" I almost shouted. 
"Shut up shut up shut up! Do you realize how hard it was to bring you up? How much I gave up for you? My hopes and dreams?! I gave everything up! And now look, my boy is crushing on other boys!" she paused for a breath. 
"I never brought you up like this. Your dad would be so disappointed..." she was crying, what the fuck. 
"But mom, I love him, like you loved dad and step dad-"
"THAT IS NOT THE SAME. Dont you DARE bring them into this." she was seething by this point yet I refused to let my tears fall. I wouldn't give her that satisfaction. 
"Get out."
What

She can't kick me out. 

"GET THE FUCK OUT." I didn't have to be told twice as I grabbed the door handle behind me and sprinted out the front door leaving my mom in a pit of her pity and wrong doings. I never did anything wrong, I always wanted the best for her but as soon as something happened to me, something good, she shuts me out. Literally. I always trusted her with everything and loved her unconditionally yet still she tears my heart out and shreds it into a million pieces. 
Truth is she is just like the rest of them, all the bullies and fake friends. They're all the same. But its still my mom for fuck sake I have to love her, but she cant control who I love. 

I run, far away, as fast as I could so that my tears would dry before they got the chance to escape. Thoughts rushed through my head at an unbeliever bel rate as I tried to think through my moms actions. Was I wrong? Or was she wrong? I cant judge. I begin to take notice to my surroundings. The sky was a literal reflection of my current emotion, grey, miserable and dismal. The houses and this area seemed to be rather familiar as they all go rushing by me, but I realised Something. Gerard's house was near here. I need him, he is the only person I can think of right now that can possibly cheer me up. I needed to explain everything with him. 
Where am I going to stay? I hadnt even thought about that yet. I don't think either mom or I want me to be at my house and I dont really have any other friends. Ray probably is still mad as fuck at us. God I wish I was a different person sometimes, someone who can't fuck things up every day. 

I turn the corner and finally Gerard's house came into view. I did not stop running though. As a mixture of sweat and tears trickle down my face, I trip up the porch and knock on the door, a little louder than I wanted it to be. I stood there for a few seconds before I heard a click and it began to open, revealing Mrs Way. 
"Frank! You're back- wait, oh gosh Frank what's happened?!" she asked genuinely concerned. She held me by the shoulders and pulled me slightly into the house. She didn't really say it that loud, but the mention of my name caused Gerard to bound down the stairs and pulled me into his arms. 
Thats when the tears came. 
"Sweetie, what's happened? You've only been gone an hour." he said with a face full of sadness. 
"I-I-I-I told m-m-m-mom about y-you." I started. 
"I'm not that bad I don't think." he said honestly. 
"No! There's nothing bad about you! She just- didn't want me to be- gay. She was so disappointed in me and I got kicked out of home. I didn't know what to do- so I came to you." He paused to think and sighed deeply. 
"You can leave me-" I raised my hand to his lips in one motion. 
"Don't say that! I dont want to leave you, not for a very long time." tears continued to fall. 
"Frank. I read some book the other day and, if I can remember it correctly, 'where there is love, there is also often hate'. I know you wouldn't hate your mom, but it's true. In every pair and every couple, there is always someone that doesn't like it or doesn't want them together over their jealousy or their beliefs. I will be here for you always, never forget that."  This man, this boy that wouldn't talk at all even when I wanted a conversation. But it's true, the quietest people are often the most emotional, most amazing people you will ever meet. He's such a treasure. 
"I love you Gerard. I will love you until I die and if there's a life after that, I will love you then. Thank you." I quoted. He pulled me in gently and hugged me. Mrs Way had disappeared during our little 'moment' but shortly, she was back at my side, staring at me with sympathy. 
"Frank, I heard your mom has kicked you out. You can stay here for as long as you like, you make both Gerard and Mikey so happy, you're such a blessing to them. So please, stay." 
It worried me that this family cared a lot more about me than my own, but I thanked her greatly and Gerard and I retreated to his bedroom. 

"Frank, did you mean that? What you said in the hallway?" Gerard asked. 
"Every word of it, even though I haven't known you that long, I know I can't let you just pass me by, I want you close to me for every second of every day." and I meant every word. I really wanted him to believe that. Instead of replying, he got up and made his way to his wardrobe. After a minute of shuffling and banging, he revealed something incredible. A worn out Fender guitar. These things are works of art. He brought the guitar closer to me and gestured for me to take it. 
"I couldn't possibly-"
"No. Take it, play it, play something to me." he replied. I hastily took it and pulled my plectrum out of my pocket. I always carried it around. 
My hands wandered up and down the body of it as I took in its sheer beauty. I glanced up to see Gerard looking adoringly at me. I've always wanted this. Not many people would experience this in their life, but I don't know how I've deserved this. 
I began to form chords and unusual strumming patterns, combining different sounds with others. It sounded... Okay. For a change I didn't want to curse myself for messing something up or not being able to do something right. Everything seemed to fit in perfectly as a familiar and regular tune began to form. Gerard got up from his bed and retrieved a notepad and pen, then began to write something down. I began to stop, but Gerard gave a face of reluctance and I picked up the tune again. It sounded sad, I must admit, but meaningful and relatable. Something I haven't heard or felt before. Maybe this could be the start of something new. 

Notes

If you got those quotes and where they're from, I love you. Sorry about the late update, I don't think it should happen again, please don't kill me.