Found Missing

And just like that, it's all over.

Under a false name and a false voice, Gerard calls Detective. Woodford. Technically we haven't done anything wrong, unless you call taking police matters into your own hands a wrong doing then yes, we have done something wrong. So we decide that keeping our names out of the equation will be for the best.

Strictly speaking and considering our lack of recent luck this should backfire on us, but it doesn't. Parked a little way down the road, just out of sight, we watch Detective. Woodford and her couple of policeman arrive at poor Heather's Shady Lady Ranch. I can't help but feel sorry for her, if it wasn't for Heather we may have never found the truth. We trust that she won't let slip who had come searching for her, or who had tipped the police off. In her own way all she had wanted to do was help.

The drive home is spent mostly in silence, neither of us quite sure of what to say even if we had the will power to talk. We don't hold hands in the space between our seats, we don't even share secret glances and I still feel sick.

We're greeted by Donna's questions, composed in her tone but I can see the fury in her eyes. "You could have at least told me where you were going." She says, hazels burning. "I was worried."

"We were fine, ma'." He says, hazels narrow. "We just needed to get away for a while. We went to a holiday lodge, that's all."

Hearing Gerard lie to his mothers face makes me feel worse, even though I know he has no choice.

News travels fast, faster than Gerard can drive from Staten Island to Belleville, as if I could have expected or hoped for anything different. I had at least hoped for some sort of closure, closure for Gerard, for Anne, for Martha's father, for me, and I suppose that is what we've been given, I just hadn't hoped for closure to be so brutal.

When Detective. Woodford arrives with news that Gerard and I are already far too familiar with, we gather in Martha's parents living room. I watch Anne perch on the end of her seat and I watch Martha's father clutch his knuckles together tight; a scene I'll be glad to never have to endure again. It's not difficult for me or Gerard to fake any devastation, it is still heavy on our shoulders, after all.

We're told that a search is in operation for Vince's body, and that his mother will be informed of Martha's letter. With such little evidence Vince is still considered a missing person, but no matter how many lies Martha had spun for herself, I know she wouldn't have lied about this. In the end she had wanted us to know the truth, she wasn't completely heartless.

Mine and Gerard's little white lies disperse into nothing, and after a week of examination all we are left with is Martha's letter, placed neatly back into its brown envelope, left untouched on her parents mantelpiece. I haven't found the guts to read it myself, but I've asked Gerard about what it says.

"It says enough. It says everything we need to know." This had been his response, "She's gone and so is he, it's over."

And just like that, it's all over.

*

For the first time in what I think could quite possibly be ever, all I can see is blue sky, blue skies and and a beautiful, golden dusting of early April sunlight. For the first time I can step out of the house without being hit by a cast of fog or a shower of rain. For the first time, I think everything might be okay.

"It's someones birthday soon."

I smile when Gerard wrinkles his nose, grinning around the cigarette in his mouth.
"Ah, really? Who's?"
"Yours, silly. What do you wanna' do?" I ask, poking his ribs. He squirms next to me on his car bonnet, shrugging me off with another bashful grin.

"I dunno', Elfie. It's only my twenty third, not anything special."
"Of course it's special, you're getting old now, I can't let you forget that."
"Old!" He scoffs. "You only think I'm getting old because you're, like, ten, or something."
"Twenty in October, actually."
"Whatever."

I smile wider and so does he, plush cheeks rising beneath his blacked-out sunglasses. "Seriously though, we could just do something small, if you wanted." I say, "I don't know if it's too soon to do anything big..."
"It's been a month." He says, "I think that's soon enough, we all have to move on at some point."
"I admire your optimism, Gerard."
"Wow, thanks, I admire your sarcasm, Elfaine," He rolls his eyes and I pull a face. "but something small sounds cool to me, I'd like that, with you."

He presses his mouth to mine, only for a moment, but suddenly the spring time heat feels a whole lot stronger. He kisses me again, and again, and again until we feel forced to move from the grocery parking lot to the back of his car. There the air is even hotter, but I'm more occupied by the way he feels so warm beneath the leather of his jacket.

Our kisses taste like smoke and strawberries, firm against my mouth with soft lips, husky sweet nothings and salty skin. He remarks on how smooth my legs are, tilting his head back with a laugh and a groan when I remind him that we're missing something.

"It's a good job we're outside Walmart, I guess." He grumbles, zipping up his flies with hasty hands.

"Don't forget the ice cream for after." I add. "You know what my favorite flavor is."

I giggle as he kisses me quick before running inside to buy condoms and a tub of peanut butter ice cream, we always share the same spoon. I smile, knowing full well that everyone will notice the purple lipstick left on his neck and the giddy expression left plastered to his face, no doubt tripping over himself in his desperate endeavor through the local store.

This won't end, it can't. The song playing faintly from the front of the car promises pain, but not for us. For once, everything is okay, and I know it can only get better.

"How dangerous," I think, tracing my fingers over where he had last kissed me. "to finally have something worth losing."

Notes

Uh oh... is that a cliff hanger? I have another two chapters to finish, and then it's all going to be over!