You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break
I'm Trying to Let You Know Just How Much You Mean to Me
Rachel’s POV:
It had been a week since Gerard had told me he loved me. I had been avoiding him, I didn’t mean to. It’s just that whenever I wanted to go see him or talk to him I just froze up. I know that he wasn’t a different person for saying he loved me. He was still the same Gerard that I adored and loathed at the same time. But I just couldn’t get past it. I walked through the parking lot to the school in the freezing cold with Laura; I had yet to tell her about this.
“Okay what’s going on with you?” she stopped walking and cocked her eyebrow at me.
“Nothing.” I stopped walking and kept my back turn to her.
“Then why won’t you look at me?” she said ominously. I knew she knew something was going on, but I just didn’t wanna explain it.
“Do we have to do this right now?” I groaned as I turned around and faced her.
“Yes we have to do this now, because you are just gonna keep avoiding it.” She sighed and walked over to me. “Now what’s going on?”
“Well..” I hesitated. “Gerard told me that he loved me last week.” I scrunched my face and waited for Laura to freak out.
“HE WHAT!?” she screamed. I couldn’t tell if she was excited or confused.
“Could you stop yelling?” I lowered my voice,
“Sorry, but that’s just…weird. Gerard isn’t capable of love.” She calmed down and ran her hands through her hair.
“I don’t think he isn’t capable.” I sighed. “But I don’t know how to feel about it.”
“Well you should figure it out, because yo man just rolled up.” Laura nudged me and looked toward Gerard’s car.
“Shit I gotta go, it's too early for this.” I was officially freaking out.
“Hey Rachel!” I heard Gerard yell as I turned to walk away. “Wait up!” he beckoned again.
“Oh sorry can’t talk I gotta make up this test quiz thing bye!” I said so fast, I don’t know if anyone could understand me, but I didn’t care I just wanted to get away from Gerard right now.
I turned around to wave to Gerard as I walked away and saw Frank walk up, and Laura giving me a ‘what the fuck face’.
I couldn’t dodge Gerard forever, but right now I didn’t think about that.
Gerard’s POV:
“What’s her deal?” Frank questioned as we walked up to Laura.
“Ask prince charming over here.” She laughed back.
Frank and Laura both looked at me and I just sighed. Rachel had been acting so strange ever since I told her that I loved her. I really was okay with the fact that she didn’t say it back. I understood her hesitation it’s not like I have been the world’s greatest boyfriend. I am still beside myself that she even took me back and still chose me over Frank.
“Gee! What did you do?” Frank snapped me out of me thoughts.
“I told her that I loved her.” When I heard it come out of my mouth it sounded so nonchalant.
“You what? You’re incapable of love Gerard.” Frank said in disbelief
“That’s what I said!” Laura exclaimed laughing.
“Hey! Why does everyone keep saying that!” Had I really been such an asshole to women that people thought that I wasn’t able to love?
“I mean you have been kind of an ass to woman.” Laura said.
I guess so.
“Well she can’t just keep avoiding me, it’s no way to deal with the situation.” I said frustrated.
“I actually agree with you.” Laura replied.
I mean how could I resolve the situation if she wouldn’t even speak to me. I felt the wind push against my back.
“I have an idea!” Frank shouted out of nowhere.
“Oh dear god no.” I sighed out, Frank’s ideas had potential to be great but they always ended in shambles when we tried to carry them. I just dreaded the whole process that would ensue from this.
“Okay how about, and just stay with me here, don’t shoot it down right away.” He cautioned. “What about a double date.” He moved his hands presenting the idea to me.
My face froze for a second. I wasn’t sure why he would suggest this, considering I
couldn’t even get Rachel to speak to me right now. So I just stood there as the wind whistled and filled the silence and my thoughts.
“Okay I’ll bite.” I said despite my inner feeling towards the notion.
“Okay so the double date would consist of me, Rachel, Mikey, and Laura?” I assumed.
“Actually no, it would be me, you, Rachel, and my date.” Frank said sheepishly.
“Wait what?” Laura interjected. “When have you found the time to find a new lady?” Laura furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
“That’s not important.” Frank shushed her immediately.
“How am I even gonna get Rachel to go on this date when she can barely speak to me without combusting?” I asked.
“That’s where Laura comes in”, he quickly retorted and turned to her. “You just invite her out or something, simple enough.” He said. “Then she sees Gerard, can’t avoid him anymore. Then my date and I will be there to ease the tension and make things more light and fun.” Frankly smiled proudly.
“I mean I guess it could work. But who is your date?” I asked intrigued by this secret woman.
“You’ll see.” Frank smiled slyly as the minute bell rang.
“Shit, I gotta get to class. Fill me in more later!” Laura said as she started running towards the school.
“Yeah we should probably get going too Gee.” Frank followed suit, but started walking.
“Eh, I think I am gonna skip out on class today.” I yawned. I would much rather go home and sleep on all this.
I walked back to my car and hopped in. I immediately reached for my silver iPod classic and turned on The Smiths. I felt that really fit my mood at the moment. I began to drive as thoughts swam through my mind. Like who Frank was suddenly ready to bring out on a date, I didn’t expect him to move on from Rachel so quickly. But he did say he wasn’t going to just sit around anymore. Part of me was happy for him; another part of me was relieved for myself. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders; I still felt guilt for being with Rachel when I knew Frank still felt something towards her. I felt that I was unintentionally hurting him, and it made me feel so shitty. But I guess he really was ready to move on. I drove through the twists and turns of the streets and my mind quickly shifted to Rachel. Once again my mind was stuck on her behavior I couldn’t understand why she was acting like this after I had told her I was okay with her hesitation. I will never grasp how three little words can hold so much power, it truly baffled me. I arrived at my home and got out of the car and brush of wind quickly slapped me in the face. I made my way inside and went straight to my room and face planted into my bed and drifted away to a peaceful, much needed sleep.
It had been a week since Gerard had told me he loved me. I had been avoiding him, I didn’t mean to. It’s just that whenever I wanted to go see him or talk to him I just froze up. I know that he wasn’t a different person for saying he loved me. He was still the same Gerard that I adored and loathed at the same time. But I just couldn’t get past it. I walked through the parking lot to the school in the freezing cold with Laura; I had yet to tell her about this.
“Okay what’s going on with you?” she stopped walking and cocked her eyebrow at me.
“Nothing.” I stopped walking and kept my back turn to her.
“Then why won’t you look at me?” she said ominously. I knew she knew something was going on, but I just didn’t wanna explain it.
“Do we have to do this right now?” I groaned as I turned around and faced her.
“Yes we have to do this now, because you are just gonna keep avoiding it.” She sighed and walked over to me. “Now what’s going on?”
“Well..” I hesitated. “Gerard told me that he loved me last week.” I scrunched my face and waited for Laura to freak out.
“HE WHAT!?” she screamed. I couldn’t tell if she was excited or confused.
“Could you stop yelling?” I lowered my voice,
“Sorry, but that’s just…weird. Gerard isn’t capable of love.” She calmed down and ran her hands through her hair.
“I don’t think he isn’t capable.” I sighed. “But I don’t know how to feel about it.”
“Well you should figure it out, because yo man just rolled up.” Laura nudged me and looked toward Gerard’s car.
“Shit I gotta go, it's too early for this.” I was officially freaking out.
“Hey Rachel!” I heard Gerard yell as I turned to walk away. “Wait up!” he beckoned again.
“Oh sorry can’t talk I gotta make up this test quiz thing bye!” I said so fast, I don’t know if anyone could understand me, but I didn’t care I just wanted to get away from Gerard right now.
I turned around to wave to Gerard as I walked away and saw Frank walk up, and Laura giving me a ‘what the fuck face’.
I couldn’t dodge Gerard forever, but right now I didn’t think about that.
Gerard’s POV:
“What’s her deal?” Frank questioned as we walked up to Laura.
“Ask prince charming over here.” She laughed back.
Frank and Laura both looked at me and I just sighed. Rachel had been acting so strange ever since I told her that I loved her. I really was okay with the fact that she didn’t say it back. I understood her hesitation it’s not like I have been the world’s greatest boyfriend. I am still beside myself that she even took me back and still chose me over Frank.
“Gee! What did you do?” Frank snapped me out of me thoughts.
“I told her that I loved her.” When I heard it come out of my mouth it sounded so nonchalant.
“You what? You’re incapable of love Gerard.” Frank said in disbelief
“That’s what I said!” Laura exclaimed laughing.
“Hey! Why does everyone keep saying that!” Had I really been such an asshole to women that people thought that I wasn’t able to love?
“I mean you have been kind of an ass to woman.” Laura said.
I guess so.
“Well she can’t just keep avoiding me, it’s no way to deal with the situation.” I said frustrated.
“I actually agree with you.” Laura replied.
I mean how could I resolve the situation if she wouldn’t even speak to me. I felt the wind push against my back.
“I have an idea!” Frank shouted out of nowhere.
“Oh dear god no.” I sighed out, Frank’s ideas had potential to be great but they always ended in shambles when we tried to carry them. I just dreaded the whole process that would ensue from this.
“Okay how about, and just stay with me here, don’t shoot it down right away.” He cautioned. “What about a double date.” He moved his hands presenting the idea to me.
My face froze for a second. I wasn’t sure why he would suggest this, considering I
couldn’t even get Rachel to speak to me right now. So I just stood there as the wind whistled and filled the silence and my thoughts.
“Okay I’ll bite.” I said despite my inner feeling towards the notion.
“Okay so the double date would consist of me, Rachel, Mikey, and Laura?” I assumed.
“Actually no, it would be me, you, Rachel, and my date.” Frank said sheepishly.
“Wait what?” Laura interjected. “When have you found the time to find a new lady?” Laura furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
“That’s not important.” Frank shushed her immediately.
“How am I even gonna get Rachel to go on this date when she can barely speak to me without combusting?” I asked.
“That’s where Laura comes in”, he quickly retorted and turned to her. “You just invite her out or something, simple enough.” He said. “Then she sees Gerard, can’t avoid him anymore. Then my date and I will be there to ease the tension and make things more light and fun.” Frankly smiled proudly.
“I mean I guess it could work. But who is your date?” I asked intrigued by this secret woman.
“You’ll see.” Frank smiled slyly as the minute bell rang.
“Shit, I gotta get to class. Fill me in more later!” Laura said as she started running towards the school.
“Yeah we should probably get going too Gee.” Frank followed suit, but started walking.
“Eh, I think I am gonna skip out on class today.” I yawned. I would much rather go home and sleep on all this.
I walked back to my car and hopped in. I immediately reached for my silver iPod classic and turned on The Smiths. I felt that really fit my mood at the moment. I began to drive as thoughts swam through my mind. Like who Frank was suddenly ready to bring out on a date, I didn’t expect him to move on from Rachel so quickly. But he did say he wasn’t going to just sit around anymore. Part of me was happy for him; another part of me was relieved for myself. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders; I still felt guilt for being with Rachel when I knew Frank still felt something towards her. I felt that I was unintentionally hurting him, and it made me feel so shitty. But I guess he really was ready to move on. I drove through the twists and turns of the streets and my mind quickly shifted to Rachel. Once again my mind was stuck on her behavior I couldn’t understand why she was acting like this after I had told her I was okay with her hesitation. I will never grasp how three little words can hold so much power, it truly baffled me. I arrived at my home and got out of the car and brush of wind quickly slapped me in the face. I made my way inside and went straight to my room and face planted into my bed and drifted away to a peaceful, much needed sleep.
Loved it!
12/8/17