Broken but perfect

{Gerard’s POV}

‘’You-you love me?’’ I finally managed to choked out ‘’You-you can’t love me, you shouldn’t love me. I’m broken, and depressed and suicidal, no one should love a messed up piece of shit like me.’’

‘’I do. I have since I kissed you. I haven’t gone a day since then without thinking about you and wanting desperately to talk to you. I-I love you, Gerard.’’

‘’Wh-why? You shouldn’t, I’m stupid and ridiculous. I fucking solved my problems with drugs and slitting my throat, and you love me? Why?!’’

‘’I don’t know Gerard! If I could fucking stop myself from feeling this way, I would, but I can’t. I love seeing you, I love hearing your voice. I love hearing your name and I love hearing you say mine. There’s so many things I love about you, and I don’t fucking know why! I can’t help it, Gerard, I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, I just... do,’’ he said and bit his lip until it started to bleed. He wiped away the blood and looked at at the floor.

‘’Fr-Frank. I-I-’’ I didn’t know what to say. For the first time in my life, someone told me they were in love with me. He loved me even though I tried to kill myself. He loved me even though I cut my throat and wrists. He fucking loved me even though I almost overdosed on whatever the fuck Misha gave me. ‘’I-I-I love you too, Frank.’’ I said moving closer to him. I grabbed his hand at held it. His hand was cold, and he had scars on his knuckles.

‘’What?’’ he said looking up from the ground at me

‘’I love you, Frank. You mean the world to me. If you don’t want me to kill myself… I won’t.’’ That was the first time I ever said that to someone, and actually meant it. I told Misha that once and didn’t mean it at all, but Frank was different. He meant something to me, and seeing him upset like this was something I never wanted to see. He deserves to be happy and in a happy relationship. Which is something I’m not one hundred percent sure he would have with me.

‘’You-you do?’’ he said sounding strangely surprised
‘’Yeah. I don’t know how, it just kind of happened.’’ I sounded like a fucking sixth grader trying to ask out a girl. I had no idea what I was doing, I had never loved someone before. So I didn’t really know how to tell someone I loved them. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me. He finally hugged me. I was still kind of high and drunk so the amount of force he put on me from the hug caused me to fall on my back. He didn’t seem to care, he was laying on top of me and still hugging me.

‘’Oh. Well hello.’’ a voice said from behind us. Frank got off me and I saw Misha standing near us.

‘’Oh, uh, hey Misha.’’ I said sitting up

‘’Gerard, why the fuck did you take the bandage off?’’ Misha said sitting next to me

‘’I didn’t want it on anymore, it was bothering the shit out of me.’’

‘’It has to be on or it’ll get infected.’’

‘’Ugh, fine. Help me?’’ I said standing up and looking at Frank

‘’Sure.’’ Frank said standing up as well. I took him by the hand and led him to the bathroom. I let him go in before me and then I shut the door behind me and locked it. I open the cabinet beneath the sink and pulled out a roll of bandage and antibiotic.

‘’Here.’’ I said handing him the roll and antibiotic. He took them and set the roll on the sink and took the cap off the antibiotic and put some on his fingers. He rubbed the antibiotic on the cut and I winced in pain.

I sucked in air through my teeth and backed away a little ‘’Fuck.’’ I cursed looking down at him

‘’Sorry Gerard, it’s gonna hurt.’’

‘’Yeah, no shit.’’

‘’Um.’’ he said thinking ‘’Think about this then.’’ he said getting on his tiptoes and kissed me quickly. He pulled away and looked at me.

‘’I don’t think it worked.’’ I smirked really wanting him to kiss me again

‘’Oh, fuck off.’’

‘’You know you want to.’’ I said smiling. He smiled back and put his hand on my neck and kissed me once more. We somehow ended up on the floor and we were still kissing. I put my hand under his shirt and lifted it up, he stopped kissing me and took of his shirt completely. I just stared at his torso for a little because I took me a little to process how beautiful he was.

‘’I know. I don’t have the best looking body.’’ he said, obviously taking my stareing as a bad thing.

‘’No. It just… my god you’re beautiful.’’

‘’No I’m not.’’ he said looking to the side. I moved his head back so he was looking at me.

‘’If I didn’t think you were, I wouldn’t be on the floor on top of you right now.’’

‘’Just kiss me.’’ he said smiling. I leaned down again and returned to kissing him. I accidently ran my hand over his crotch and he didn’t seem to mind, he actually moaned a little. So I took my hand and once again ‘’accidently’’ ran my hand over it, but this time kept it there. He put his hand on mine and I thought he was uncomfortable or something so I took my hand off, just to have him put it back where it was. I rubbed on his dick through his pants, and his breath hitched. ‘’Gerard.’’ he moaned, hearing him moan my name was really hot to be honest. Misha must’ve heard, what would be the second moan Frank made, because there was a knock on the bathroom door.

‘’If you guys are going to have sex, can it please not be on my bathroom floor.’’ the twenty-four year old said through the door. I laughed a little and kissed him one last time before getting off him. I helped him stand up and he put his shirt back on.

‘’We didn’t put the bandage on.’’ Frank said to me looking at the bandage and open tube of antibiotic

‘’Oh well.’’ I said unlocking the door. Misha was standing there, waiting for me me to come out.

‘’So you had time to almost fuck each other but not to put the bandage on.’’

‘’Oh fuck off, Misha.’’ I smirked ‘’Come on, let’s go.’’ I said looking at Frank

‘’Okay.’’

‘’Bye, Misha.’’ I said walking towards the door, holding Franks hand.

‘’Wait, Gerard.’’ Misha said grabbing my shoulder ‘’I wanna talk to you real quick.’’

‘’Okay. I’ll be right out there. Wait in my car.’’ I said tossing Frank my keys. He walked out, shutting the door behind him. I turned back to look at Misha ‘’What’s up?’’

‘’First of all, you.’’ he said looking at the obvious erection I had in my skinny jeans

‘’Sorry.’’ I said turning red

‘’Second of all, who the hell was that?’’

‘’That was Frank Iero, the guy I’m in love with. So anything that there was between us is gone, Misha.’’

‘’Oh come on Gee.’’ he said and bit his lip flirtatiously

‘’I’m serious, Misha.’’

‘’No you’re not. You’re gonna get lonely and want me to suck your dick again.’’ he said moving so he was a few inches away from me. He took my hand and put it on his crotch. I quickly pulled my hand away and put it in my pocket.

‘’I’m fucking serious. I don’t want to fuck you anymore I have no feeling for that. No more meaningless fucking shit between us okay?’’

He walked up to me and whispered in my ear ‘’Good luck with that, babe.’’ He squeezed my dick before walking into his bedroom, causing me to jump. God, his voice was sexy and a small part of me wanted to go into the bedroom with him but Frank was outside waiting for me. I walked outside and he was in my car, looking through my CD’s.

‘’Metallica, Nirvana, Slipknot?’’ he said looking up at me

‘’Yeah, you’re driving by the way. I’m still kind of drunk and I don’t feel like getting us both killed.’’

‘’Okay.’’ he said turning on the car I got in the passengers seat and he started driving, and placed his hand on my thigh.

‘’You’re hand is painfully close to my dick, Frankie.’’ I said smiling like an idiot

‘’Yeah I know.’’ he smirked ‘’Get used to it.’’

Notes