A Little's Enough

“You okay now that the mean boy is gone Casper?” I asked, closing the door and locking it. Mom had left a message earlier, she wouldn’t be home this evening either.
“Teigh it’s sooo bad.” she pouted. “I really didn’t mean to get physical, but I mean! He called me a disease! I didn’t deserve that. He pissed me off so much!”
“Relax October, it’s okay. I understand. What are you going to do though? Gerard seems optimistic about a future full of all of us hanging out. He made that clear at the mall.”
“Don’t get me wrong Teigs, but I don’t think Mikey and I would live through hangouts all the time. I’d love it if we could, but it’s just never going to happen.”
“What if you just tried… for me?” I asked shyly, blushing more with the last part.
“You’re lucky you know.” she said looking at me, dead serious expression all over her features.
“What do you mean?”
“You like the brother who isn’t difficult, and hard headed. You like him, he likes you. Done. But no, not for me. I like him, he hates me?!”
“He probably doesn’t hate you hunn. You two just need to learn to get along. You guys just seem too hyper with each other or something. I mean, we aren’t as severe or anything, but that’s how Gregory and I are with each other. And look at it this way? You’re at least not afraid to like him. I’m so damaged from stupid relationships that I can’t even enjoy the presence of a guy I could potentially really like without panicking. I really don’t have it any easier. I’m the one with mental issues.”
“Is that what was going on?” she asked, forgetting about her problems with Mikey.
”I guess…” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say. I wasn’t even sure myself what had happened. “I’m not completely sure.” I continued, deciding honesty was my best bet with her. “But what do I know? I’ve known him for two days. The reality of it is that I barely know him. Even if we’ve talked about things that seem personal it still doesn’t mean I know him at all.” With all these thoughts, my breathing pattern picked up, and I fell into one of my panic attacks. “I’m pathetic Casper. Pathetic.”
“Teigh, don’t be so hard on yourself. You are NOT pathetic. Maybe he’ll be way better than the rest. Maybe he won’t be a complete prick. Maybe we should put off talks till the morning, okay bebs?” she said, rubbing my back.
“Sure..” I agreed.
“Go get changed okay? We’ll go to bed early tonight.” she smiled comfortingly.
“Can we put on Empire Records..? It’ll cheer me up.”
“Okay, just go get changed. I’ll turn the lights off out here and stuff.”
“Alright. Thanks October.” I hugged her tight, and then let go, and stalked off to my room. I grabbed my pajamas and changed into them quickly. I made my way to the bathroom next. I brushed my teeth, and decided to leave the braids in my hair for the night. I’d shower in the morning. For sure..

The morning
“So you really like him eh?” October asked, trying to get to the point right away.
“I barely know him…” I answered glumly.
“So then get to know him Teigh. It’ll be worth it. He makes you smile.”
“And where will that get me? I don’t think I should rush into anything. We all know where rushing lands me.”
Sure, Gerard was sweet and wonderful, but so were the others when I’d first been with them. But with time I learned that I was just far too gullible. The guys I tended to find told me all the things I wanted to hear, and then when I wouldn’t put out right away, they got rid of me without even a glance back in my direction. And although I had vowed to myself that I wouldn’t even give into a guy so easily again, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation that had just entered my life.
“Teigann, believe in yourself for once babe. You can do this. It’s just getting to know him. If more comes of it, then we can deal with that later.”
“We?”
“Well, I know I said that Mikey and I would never get along, but… I figured there’s no harm in trying. I’m always stubborn about everything. Why change my ways now?”
“There’s the Casper I know.” I smiled, glad she was actually willing to give the hanging out thing a chance.
“Yea, so where’s her partner in crime? Just try hunn. He seems to be different than the others. He actually seems sincere. I’ll be there for hangouts okay? So you don’t always have to do the alone thing.”
I sighed, and although I was extremely nervous, and kicking myself for going back on my promise to ‘not give in’, I smiled, took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it.”