It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish

It had been two months since he started the internship and those two months had been the best of his life. All the people who worked there were very nice and had the same zany, random qualities as Gerard and his crew. He especially enjoyed Fridays because they always had a theme going. He rarely participated, only accesorizing mildly to fit the look, but it was fun to watch his peers get dressed up. They were all very smart but when they were'nt working, they were very laidback...almost childish.
That Friday was Aloha Friday.Everyone had on floral patterns, straw hats and grass skirts. Hayley was a hoola dancer and was sporting a coconut bra, grass skirt and flower crown. When she saw Frank walking down the hallway to the Snack Shack, she said, "Aloha, Frankster."
"Sup, Hayley," he replied. He noted her outfit. "Whoa, that bra looks like it's really made of coconuts."
"It is," she replied. "Made it this morning. Tay bought coconuts and we were smashing them and shit and this just happened. " She noticed his ugly floral shirt and the straw hat hanging around his neck by a cord. "That shirt is so ugly it's awesome."
"I know," Frank replied. "I borrowed it from your mom."
"That is the best zinger ever," Hayley declared. She lightly punched his stomach and said, "Zing!"
"Zing!" Frank shouted, poking her cheek.
Brendon came from the Snack Shack, wearing a pair of swimming trunks that said, Sassy Lady, across the back and hit Hayley with his pool noodle. "Who got zinged?" he asked from behind his snorkle.
"Hayley did," Frank replied.
"Damn Hays, the Queen of the Zingers has fallen," Brendon declared.
Hayley pointed a banana from the fridge at him, shooting the most serious look ever, and said, "Suck my ass, Brendon."
"Speaking of that, what's with insults always ending with surburban names?" Frank asked.
Hayley and Brendon exchanged looks and shrugged. "Like, c'mon, someone has insulted you at least once and added some random name behind it, right?" Frank asked them. They both shook their heads.
"Don't be such a thot, Patricia," Frank said, pointing at Hayley. She smirked and gave a giggle. "Go kick rocks, Patrick."
"Stop eating, Marris, you pig," Brendon said. They all laughed really hard at that because this guy at the compound named James was constantly eating. That would have pissed him off absolutely.
"You're such a slut, Samantha," Hayley said.
They were all a mess of giggles and laughter. Frank grabbed a banana for him and Brendon and led them to Gerard's office. He held a finger to his smirking lips and opened the door. Gerard turned around and said, "Hey Frank. The fuck I tell you about having bananas and shit in my Ballpit? No fruits!"
Frank aimed it at him and said, "Shut up, ya little shit," in the most serious voice ever. Gerard fell silent and held up his hands as Hayley and Brendon aimed their bananas at him like guns as well.
"Please don't rape me!" Gerard said, going along with their joke. "I'm pregnant!"
"Lies!" Brendon said. "Who would impregnate your ass?"
"That's enough, Brendy," Hayley hissed. "We want two Cokes and some Skittles." Frank cleared his throat to remind them that he was there. "Oh, and a lapdance for my main bitch Frankie."
"I didn't know you were so thug, Hays," Frank said, smirking.
"I didn't choose thug life, thug life chose me," Hayley said. She stalked over to Gerard and yelled, "Where my Skittles, bitch?" She slapped Gerard and he yelped.
"I-I.." Gerard started.
"What?" she yelled. She made the angriest face ever.
"I ate them!" Gerard broke into tears. He was the best actor ever.
"Handle this hoe,Brendon," Hayley ordered. Brendon nodded and began to pretend to shoot Gee until Frank yelled, "Wait!"
Gerard looked at Frankie, hoping he was saving him. "Let me do it," Frank said. "I knew the bitch had yo money." Hayley nodde and he prepared to shoot Gerard.
"I thought we had something special," Gee said melodramatically.
"Yeah, the sex and drugs was good, but you give terrible handjobs," he said.
"Uh, excuse you, but I give greaaat head," Gerard protested. He rolled his neck.
"Bye Felicia," Frank scoffed. He made a bang noise and Gerard dropped dead.
"Gonna get me some dead booty!" Brendon cheered. He got between Gerard's legs and began dry-humping him.
Patrick walked by and saw this. They all froze and stared at him. He stared back. "Don't even tell me," he said, holding up his hands and walking away.
"Aloha Friday, bitch," Hayley yelled, still acting like a gangster.

Notes

This whole fanfic is on crack.

Drugs-not even once