I'm Okay, Trust Me

Thank fucking god that Gerard agreed to have me stay over there today. The nurse is making me keep using the crutch for the next week. I really don’t think I need it. I’ll stop using it tomorrow and if she notices I’ll say my dad told me to keep them at home. The nurse was a close friend to my mother. My mother dies in a car accident that me and her were both in. I survived and she died. I miss her so much. I wish I was the one to die and she survived. The accident was my fault. If I had decided to stay at the party even though there was drinking going on, she would still be alive, my dad wouldn’t be an abusive drunk, and our family would be happy. I didn’t realize I started crying until I felt a tear on my cheek
“Hey dude are you okay?” Gerard asked
“uhm yeah im fine. I was just thinking.”
“Oh well, if you need to talk about something then you can come to me. Or October since you guys know each other better.” I just nod and make an excuse to leave.
“Uhm I have to use the bathroom. I’ll be back later.” Before anyone could say anything I rush to the bathroom. I walk in a stall, close and lock it. The stalls in the bathroom are not the kind you can see under it’s like a little room that you can easily hide in.
While im in there I start crying and I decide to do something I’ve been clean of for a couple weeks. I take out my wallet and grab the blade vie hidden in it. I press it against my skin a start to drag it against my wrist. Instantly it starts to bleed. I do the same thing three more times I look at MT wrist and decide to do the other wrist as well. I do five cuts on the other on. I was in the middle of the last one when the door swung open to the bathroom.
Gerard’s pov
“Fuck. Damn it he’s in the fucking bathroom. Goddamn it not again. Gerard I need you to go to the bathroom and check on frank like now.” October says quickly and I nod at her and start to run towards the bathroom. When I get there I hear sniffling. I go to the door and knock on the door.
“Frank. Is that you.” He simply unlocks the door to him with blood covering his wrist. “Fuck. Frank did you do this?” he nods his head. I walk to him and hug him. He cries into my chest. “Come on Frankie let’s get you cleaned up.” he nods his head and I help home up and we walk to the sink. “This may hurt.”
“I know,” I grab a towel and wet it. I dab at the cuts .I see others that have closed up. After he’s cleaned off he pulls his leaves down. He hasn’t been crying for five minutes. It’s a good thing I wore black because if I didn’t I you would probably see the blood from franks wrist. We walk back to the spot we were before and Mikey just looks at us but October just walks toward Frankie.
“Frank Anthony Iero, you promised me you’d stop doing this to yourself, Frankie” frank cuts her off
“And I was clean for two weeks. A new personal record, but the thoughts were nagging at me again. I didn’t plan to it just happened. All I aimed for by going to the bathroom is to not have a mental breakdown in front of everyone. It kind of escalated and yeah.’ He looks down at his feet.
“Frank give me the blade. I know Gerard didn’t so give it here,” he sighs and takes out his wallet. He takes out a box cutter and hands it to her. “Good, now role up your sleeves.” He does as he’s told. “Gerard did you clean his arms?” I nod my head “you did a good job.”
“Yeah I have a bit of experience with it.” I look at Mikey and he looks down.

Notes