Risky And Complicated, Confused And New

I creep out of my room and down to the kitchen after my alarm rudely interrupted my sweet dream.
I was dreaming about my Mum again, but she's gone now and I can't do a thing to bring her back ,obviously. But at least I can dream, it's my only escape.. Well a long with tormenting kids smaller than me to make me feel stronger.
My Father just makes me feel like the frail little fag I am, but when I hit other kids, it makes me feel so strong and I can't stop, I hate myself for doing it but being alone with my Dad all this time reminds me that he still gets away with it.
I open the cracked cupboard and pull out a half eaten bagel and take a few bites before heading back up to my room to get ready for the first day of my new school, I got kicked out of my last one.
I pull out my red hoodie and black skinnies, mess up my hair and kick on my converse before grabbing my bag pack and heading out the door without saying bye.

When I get onto the smelly, teenage infested bus, everyone stares at me as I move to the back to sit on my own.
"Hey new kid, are you as weak as you look?" I tall boy with brown afro says punching me hard in the arm.
"No, are you as stupid as you sound?" I say punching him back harder.
"Haha, hey. You know, I think I might like you. Let's be friends."
"Don't push your luck" I smirk. He comes to sit next to me. I sigh.
"So what school did you come from?"
"Penny State Academy, I got kicked out though."
"Nice, you're a bad 'un, well so am I" he laughs.
"Cool, I guess. Then we can get into all sorts of trouble together"
"Sounds like a good idea." He says, holding out his fist for me to punch it with mine.
"I'm Ray by the way."
"I'm Frank" I smile. "What grade are you in?"
"I'm in grade 10"
"Oh hey same! I hope we're in the same classes"
"Yeh." Ray replies.

When we stand up to get off he looks down at me and laughs.
"Damn, you're short aren't you haha"
"Yeh, but I can still make you cry" I laugh
"Hm well." We both walk into school laughing and joking with each other,
"I gotta go sign in or whatever now, catch ya later" I say winking at Ray.
"See ya kid!"
I walk to the office and get myself signed into the school, filling out a bunch of paper work and having to small talk with the old office ladies. After what seems like the whole day, I finally get to go to my first lesson; Maths.
Hm, maybe I could do to dawdle for a bit. As I'm walking my phones pings from my old friends texting me, I start texting them when suddenly I run into some stupid kid who is obviously late for class and running to get there. He drops his notebook and I drop my phone.
"HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" I scream at him angrily, looking up at his terrified but beautiful face. As soon as I see him I instantly feel something I've never felt before but don't know what to do about it.
"S..ssorry" he mumbles, avoiding eye contact with me.
"What are you, pissed? Stuttering like that." I say punching him in the face and masking his beauty as the blood pours from his nose.
"O-owww!" He cries, and grabs his notebooks then runs in tears to the bathroom.
I watch him run away bawling his eyes out. I sigh, I think I found my new victim. A perfect target.

Notes