Never coming home

September 26th, New York, Air Force Academy

Gerard's POV.

I'm trying to pack as quickly as possible. My flight is scheduled to depart in 30 minutes.
Scattered across my bed are a number of shirts, pants, socks, boxers, anything I could get a hand on and stuff in my bag.
Margaret was able to get me on a plane to England saying that due to the attack, the more pilots go to England to help, the better.
I'm stuffing things inside my backpack, trying to hurry up, but the memories of last night keep coming back to my mind. Her lips... Her touch... The way she said my name...


*last night*

She was kissing me back and I couldn't belive it. It felt like a dream. I needed to be sure that this was actually happening. I pulled away, leaving my hands in her arms,
"Say it again... Please... I need to hear it..."
She looks up at me confused, but then understands what I meant.
"I don't want to let you go. I can't let you go..." She said
"Don't say something like that if it isn't true..."
"It's the truest thing I've said in my life... I don't want you to leave me... I can't stand the thought of you in danger! It kills me to know that something might happen to you and I'll never see you again..."
"I didn't you say something sooner?"
"Because I never thought you'd feel the same way..."
"Are you kidding me? I've been crazy about from the first time I saw you! The moment I laid eyes on you I felt like I was..."
"Dreaming?"
"Yes..."
"I felt the same way when I saw you on stage... I fell in love with you the moment I saw you... I know it's silly, and that I shouldnt say this, but it's true. I love you so much it hurts..."

Hearing her say those things made my heart race. She still had tears in her eyes and her cheeks were flushed, but she was still the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life.

"Can you say it again?" I ask her. The way she speaks sounds like music to my ears. And the fact that she's saying the words I've been longing to hear, I can't get enough of them.
"What?" She askes
"The last thing you said, just now... I need to hear it again... I want to make sure that I'm not dreaming..."

She smiles and places her hands on both sides of my face. Her thumb caresses my cheeks and she stands on the tip of her toes so that her lips are aligned with mine.
She closes her eyes and gently brushes her lips on mine and places a small kiss on my growing smile.
"I love you Gerard..." She whispers against my lips.
The way she says my name sends shivers down my spine. I let go of her arms and wrap my arms around her waist, hoisting her, so that her feet aren't touching the ground.
"I love you Margaret... Since the first day I saw you..." I say, as her lips brush against mine.
She opens her eyes and looks straight at me. Our faces are completely aligned, and so close I can almost feel her eyelashes brush my cheeks.
The way she looks at me takes me over the edge. The little self control I had dissapeard as I crushed my lips in hers, deepening the kiss and making her gasp in surprise. Soon after, she kisses me back and it's my turn to be surprised at the hunger she shows trying to kiss me harder.
Our bodies are so close, I'm afraid that she might feel the sudden bulge that is growing in my pants. But I can't help it, the way she's kissing is driving me insane.
All of a sudden she breaks the kiss, leaving me confused and my body begging for more,
"We can't do this here..." She says, gasping for breath, "Someone might come in..."
I look at her confused as she grabs my hand and turns around, pulling me to the door and opening it.
She stucks her head out and looks both ways before pulling me behind her down the hallway.
We climb the stairs to the 5th floor, the high ranking officers rooms.
She looks back at me and places one finger over her lips, telling me to be quiet.
I role my eyes and smile at her, making an obvious look that I'm going to be quiet. She smiles back and pulls me again.
We reach the end of the hallway, to the last room at the end. She pulls a small key from her pocket, unlocking the door and pulling me inside.
When we get in, she lets go of my hand and turn around to lock the door again.
I look around at the room, realizing that it's no different from any Liutenants room. A small bed, a nightstand, a closet, a desk and a small bathroom.
On top of her bed are a number of pieces of clothing. It looks like she had trouble deciding what to wear this morning. I smile at the thought. Her nightstand has a couple of books, piled on eachother. On her desk are stacks of files and lost papers. But right in the middle of it, leaning against the wall is a picture. It shows a younger Margaret laughing as she's picked up in bridal style by a young man, also laughing. He has copper hair and is very thin. He looks as young as Margaret does. He's wearing a pilots uniform and she's wearing his bonnet. But what's next to the picture it's what makes my heart sink. A Purple Heart.

"Your boyfriend?" I ask, making her turn around to face me.
When she turned around she was smiling, but when she saw what I was looking at, her face dropped into the saddest look I've ever seen.
"My brother... Twins actually..." She says
"He was a flyboy..."
"He was..."
"What happend?"
"He went to England as well... The Luftwaffe shot him out of the sky..."
"I'm sorry..." I say. I walk towards her taking her hands in mine and locking eyes with her
"This is why I don't want you to go... I already lost my brother... I can't loose you too..."
"And what about Mikey? What about my brother? I can't leave him... I need to find out what happend... And if he's still..."
"I know... And I know that's selfish of me to keep you here... But my fear spoke louder than my actions..."

I cupp her face with my hands and stroke her cheeks gently. The idea that she cares for me so much that she won't let me go doesn't make me mad at all. It makes me love her even more.

"I have to go Margaret... We both know it..."
She lowers her gaze to the floor and nods. Tears start falling from her eyes and fall on my skin. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly. She does the same. I let her cry for a moment hearing her sob quietly against my chest, her tears soaking my shirt.

For a moment none of us move, but after a while I feel her arms raising towards my neck and wrapping around them as she stands in the tip of her toes. She buries her head in my neck and takes a deep breath. She starts to brush her lips against it and I shiver at her touch.
I pull her away from my neck so I can see her face. Her eyes sparkle in the dim lighting of the room, and they have a look in them I've never seen before in her. I pull her closer to me and kiss her gently and softly. Her lips move in sync with mine and she drops her hands from my neck to my chest. I feel her fingers fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt as she starts to undo them one by one.
With one arm I hold her close and with my other hand I try and look for the zipper on the back of her dress. When I do, I pull it down slowly, giving it time to see if she'll change her mind about this. But when I see that my shirt is fully open, I pull the zipper down the rest of the way and grab the shoulder hem and start to pull it off.
Our lips are still connected as she pulls my shirt off and her dress falls to our feet leaving her in nothing but llingerie in front of me. The sight of her body makes me feel aroused and the already growing bulge in my pants hardens fully and begins to twitch.
I drop my hands to her tighs and hoist her up so she can wrap her legs around my waist and carry her to the bed. As I lay her softly on top of he covers, she pushes the clothes that layed there to the floor with one hand and grabs the back of my neck with the other, pulling me on top of her.
Trying not to crush her, I lean on one elbow as the other hand tries to find a way to undo her bras. When she realizes that I'm having troubles with it, she chuckels against my lips and reaches behind her back, pulling my hand away and doing it herslef. The bras snaps open and she pulls it away, exposing her breasts.
I break the kiss to look down at her body. She is the most perfect woman I've ever seen in my life. Every curve of her body makes me want to kiss it and touch it, her silky skin teasing me.
I look into her eyes and she has a look of passion in them. She wants this to happen as much as I do.
The idea that she loves me as well is still incredulous to me. But the way she looks right now prevents me for dwelling on the thought much longer. So I kiss her again.
Our kisses became deeper and more passionate when I feel her hands lowering to my waist and try to undo my belt and the button of my pants.
A lot more swiftly, and with much more ease than me trying to undo her bras, she unbottons my pants and pushes them down. I reach down to help her,shaking my legs and pushing the pants off when they reach my ankles. I notice that that I still have my boots on, so I have to break the kiss and get off of her in order to undo my boots. As I sit on the edge of the bed, cursing at myself of not thinking about this sooner, Margaret sits up and pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them, covering her body. She places one cheek on her knees and stares at me as I try to hurry up.
When I'm finally finished, I turn around to face her. She's looking at me with loving eyes. I lean down and place a small kiss on her nose making her smile. She lets go of her legs and wraps her arms around my neck pulling me closer.
We return to our previous position of me being on top of her and laying on the bed.
I move my hands to her waist and start playing with the hem of her underware asking for permission to pull it off. As I do this, she moves her hands to my boxers and pushes them down. I do the same thing with her panties.
We are now both completely naked. I'm still trying not to crush her underneath me, but she pulls me closer and I lay completly on top of her, our bodies touching.
I can feel her heart race through her chest. A shiver goes down my spine at the thought of what's going to happen next.
She pulls away from the kiss to look at me. Without even saying a word, I know what she means.
I look down and grab myself, positioning myself at her entrance. I look up at her again and she kisses me softly. I take it as a "Yes" and I push myself inside of her slowly.
At the movement, she gasps with pleasure and her head tilts back a bit. When I'm completly inside of her I take a moment to let her adjust. One of my hands is on the mattress next to her and she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it, telling me to go on.
I start to move slowly, not wanting to hurt her. She locks her eyes with mine and her look makes me go faster.
The pleasure starts to overcome us and she starts to moan soflty. I lean down to kiss her again and she crushes her lips into mine, with a hunger I didn't expect. I push myself inside her harder and faster with each kiss. When I hit her sweet spot, she moans loudly against my lips. The sound of her moaning makes me moan as well. I continue to aim at the same spot and her moans grow louder and deeper.
My hips thrust harder a few more times hitting her sweet spot. When she comes, she moans out my name and squeezes my hand so tightly that her fingernails draw blood on my skin. I come right after her, a shiver going through my length and making me feel weak.
I lay on top of her, gasping for breath and with my head on her neck. She lets go of my hand and places it on the back of my head, stroking my hair gently as her other hand caresses my back. She places soft kisses in my temple and I close my eyes, enjoying the sweetness of her scent and the softness of her lips on my neck.
When I finally catch my breath, I pull myself from inside her and lay down on my side next to her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer. She turns to her side as well and we just stare at eachother.
After a while, her eyes start to close with sleep. She cuddles herself closer and leans her head on my chest.
"I love you..." She whispers, falling asleep afterwards.
"I love you too..." I whisper back, kissing her hair.
Trying not to wake her up, I try and pull the covers over us so she won't be cold. When I finaly succeed, I sigh with happiness. This just happend. The woman of my dreams is sleeping next to me after we just made love. And she also feels the same way...
I close my eyes and fall asleep in absolute bliss.

The sun wakes me up when the first rays of dawn appear through the window.
I open my eyes and look around me. I don't recognize the room I'm in.
A body stirs next to me and I look down to see Margaret sleeping peacefully against my chest, with my arms wrapped around her.
I smile when the memories of last night come back.
I lean down to kiss her forehead and she stirs again, opening her eyes one at the time.
"Morning..." I say
"Morning..." She says, her voice full of sleep. She tilts her head back so she can look at me properly, "So last night..."
"Yes... It really happend..."
"Good." She says yawning, "I thought I dreament it..."
"No... You didn't..." I smile at her and kiss her forehead again.
Suddenly, her faces changes from happiness, to sadness, "Then... It also means... That you have to go to England..."
My heart drops at the memory of my lost brother. Alone and probably hurt somewhere across the Atlantic, "Yes... I have too...".
She sighs with sadness and nods, "okay... Then I should go and take care of it..."
She pulls away from my arms and gets out of bed. I watch her walk across the room and reach the closet. She pulls a pair of black trousers and a white blouse. She places them on top of the bed at my feet and turns to face me, "You should go and get ready too... Before the officers start to wake up..."
I nod and pull myself out of bed. Before I can even start to collect my clothes, she rushes towards me and hugs me, "I love you... And I'm glad I got to tell you that before you go..."
I wrap my arms around her tightly hugging her back, "I love you too..."

*present*

I only notice that I froze in place with a shirt on my hand when I hear a small knock on the door.
I shake my head, waking up from my daze, "Come in".
The door opens and Margaret steps inside.
"What are you doing here?" I ask her, surprised to see her, "What if someone sees you?"
"I wanted to say goodbye without anyone staring at us... I also wanted to give you this...", she places a leatherbound book in my hands, "It's a diary... I know that you want be able to write me every week... So this way you can write down everything that happens, and then I'll read it... When you get back...", tears start falling from her eyes and she chokes a bit on her last words.
I grab her hand and pull her closer to me, "I will comeback. Don't think that now that I have you, I'm going to loose you... You won't get rid of me that easily Miss Williams..."
"I surely hope not Liutenant Way..." She says smiling
"I love you Mags... I promise, I will comeback to you..."
"Mags?" She chuckels at the nickname
"Don't like it?"
"Not used to it..."
"Too bad... I think it suits you." I smirk at her and she chuckels again.
"Promise me you'll come back! Even if you don't write, you need to comeback to me!" She says, starting to cry again.
"Not only will I write you every week, I will comeback. We will have a normal life. And I will court you properly! I will make up for the ball where I got drunk and threw up at your feet. I'll make your fall in love with me properly, and I'll take you dancing, and to the pictures, and we shall be a normal couple!"
She hugs me tightly and leans her head on my chest, "I'll be looking forward to that..."
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"You'll be landing in London and then driven to Oxford, since the airstrip there was completely ruined from the bombs." The Captain breefs me and the rest of the pilots boarding the plane, "When you reach the Air base, you will report to Captain Watson who will be your commanding officer once you're there."

I give up listening to the rest of the breafing and look around the airstrip for any signs of Margaret. I know she's not suppose to come here, but I was hoping I'd get to see her one last time before I board, even if it is from a distance. But she's nowhere to be seen.

The he breafing ends and the Captain wishes us good luck. We all start to board the plane and take our seats. I take the one with a window.
"Man I wish Miss Williams would have come to say goodbye to us! Now there's a girl I wouldn't mind having wating for me to comeback!" One of the pilots says
"Definitely! She's the kind of girl I would do anything for! Even defect!" Says another
"Don't joke about that! But I know what you mean... I girl like that... makes you want to do all kinds of crazy things!" A third one says
"What about you Way?" Askes the pilot next to me, "What would you do to win the heart of a girl like Miss Williams?"
"Girls like her... Don't ask for much... Only for you to comeback home to her arms..." I say looking out the window still searching for her.

The plane starts to take off and I look one more time across the airstrip and to the bulding.
In front of the doors, with a hand over the eyes to block out the sun, stands a figure in black trousers and a white blouse.
I sigh in relief. She came to see me take off. Now I can relax. But only until a land again. Then a hole new set of worries will take over again.
I just hope that Mikey's alive...

Notes

Sorry Sorry Sorry!!! I tried to write a new chapter over the weekend but it was impossible! But here you go!

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a lot of love to all of you!