Never coming home

August 15th. New York, Air Force Academy

Gerard's POV.

It's lunch time, but I have no appetite whatsoever. The mess hall is crowded and especially loud today. I can't even hear myself think. Eventually I give up trying to think about her over and over again and I focus on the conversation that's happening right next to me.
"I still can't belive the results haven't come out yet! What is she waiting for?" Mikey protested while playing with his food.
"Maybe she'll anounce them today..." Ray said, also trying to figure out what the hell did they served us to eat today.
"It's been to long! I want to know the results!" Mikey whined
"You seem pretty eager to see some fighting little brother..." I say, not even looking at the grey slob that is my food.
"Aren't we all? There's a reason why we joined the Air Force Gee. We all need to do our share in this war..." He said
"I thought we joined because of the nurses!" Frank said, pushing his food away with a nauseated look
"That too." Mikey laughed and so did every men at the table.
Over the the past week, Margaret... Miss Williams, has been watching our trainings, taking notes and talking to our captain. She hardly even looks at us. Even when we're in class with her, she hardly looks at anyone. Given that were all sitting in a dark room while she's showing us the pictures of the japs planes. Pictures that she took, while she was there. No wonder she had a price on her head, those pictures where highly detailed.
She said that the first announcement of the chosen pilots to go to England would happen today. But lunch time is almost over, and the results still haven't come out. Maybe that's why everyone is on edge.

"ATTEN-HUT!"
The command breaks my trail of thought as we all rush to get up from our seats and salute the high ranking officer that just entered the mess hall. It's Captain Jackson, and behind him walks Margaret. She looks even more beautiful than she did yesterday, or the day before.... "God, how I wish I could just touch that perfect skin... Stroke her hair... Hold her hand... Touch her...." I mentaly slap myself, "Get a hold of yourself! She thinks you're an idiot! And she's a classy girl! She would never would want to be with a drunk flyboy!"
"As you were gentlmen." Captain Jackson says looking at us.
We all take our seats but remain silent. The captain is in front of a small podium and looks like he is about to speak. Sure enough,
"I'm here to inform you, that after a week of observation and careful consideration, the first 5 pilots have been selected to go to England. If, for any reason, the selected pilot refuses to take his place, another will take it for him and the other pilot will loose the opportunity. There will be no re-selection. If you're chosen, you either go, or you don't. End of story. Miss Williams has the list, and she will be announcing it now."
The captain steps aside and let's Miss Williams take his place. Once again, she speaks clearly and strictly.
"Good afternoon gentlmen. All those who are called will stand up and follow me to my office for further discussion and preparation. The first five are Liutenants: Michelson, Jack; Peterson, Andrew; Toro, Raymond; Brendon, Richard; Way, Michael James. Those of you who weren't yet selected, we'll have a chance of that happening next week. Thank you."

My heart sunk in my chest when I heard Mikey's and Ray's name being called. I watched them both get up and walk to the front on the mess hall with the other pilots.
Mikey looks over at me before he leaves. His eyes are filled with excitement. But my feelings are completely different. I'm terrified. I can't let him go alone. Sure he has Ray, but Mikey and I have never been separated. And there's also the chance that I won't be selected. I can't let this happen. Mikey can't go to England on his own. I'll have to do something about it.
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Training was over for the day and everyone was downstairs in the mess hall for dinner. Me on the other hand, was somewhere else interiorly, I was making my way over to Miss Williams office.
My heart was pumping so loud it was almost jumping out of my chest. I couldn't belive I was doing this, but I needed to do something about Mikey. He couldn't go to England on his own.
I reached her door and my body froze. "Boy that was quick." I thought. Little did I know that instead of walking, I ran to her office.
My hand was shaking as I lifted to knock on the door. I took a deep breath and did so, secretly hoping that no one would answer, that maybe she was downstairs having dinner.
"Come in" she said from the inside of her office
"Fuck" I thought
I took another deep breath and opend the door. She was sitting at her desk, piles of files coverd it and she was writing something. Her head was down and her hand moved quickly across the paper.
I cleared my throat a bit so I would capture her attention. She lifted her head to look at me. She was wearing a pair of small reading glasses. The sight was a surprise for me, but she still looked as beautiful then ever. Although I did thought she looked a bit geeky. I had to stop myself from smiling.
"Yes Liutenant, how can I help you?" She said. She didn't smile or show any type of emotion.
"I... I'm..." I stutter a bit, but cleared my throat and tried again, "I'm sorry to disturb you Ma'am, but I needed to talk to you about today's selection. I'm..."
"I know who you are Liutenant Way, and I also know why you're here." She interrupted me
I stared at her in surprise. "She knows my name! She knows who I am!" Inside my head I was jumping with happiness and excitement, until I remembered why she recognized me, "Oh shit... She knows who I am..."
"You're here because of your brother. Aren't you?" She asked when she noticed I didn't answer the first statement
"Y-yes Ma'am..."
"Well I'm sorry to tell you Liutenant, but there's nothing you can do about it. You're brother has been selected and he has accepted his task. He will be flying to England in three days."
"Ma'am... Please... He's just a kid. He's not ready for action! He doesn't know what he's getting himself into! Let me go in his place! Tell him that you reconsiderd you're selection, tell him..."
"Liutenant, stop." She interrupted, sighing and taking off her glasses, "I understand you're concern, but at this point, there's nothing, either of us can do. I wasn't even the one to select him. You're captain did."
"My... My captain? He chose Mikey? Why?"
"He said that he would be a good selection. That he was eager to do his job and that he was a good pilot. I agreed with him on that part."
"He's a child! He doesn't know what he's doing half the time! Please Miss Williams, don't do this! At least let me go with him!"
"I'm sorry Liutenant. All the pilots selected today accepted the task at hand. You'll just have to wait for the next selection..."
"Can you assure me, that I'll be in the next selection?"
"No... No I can't... You just need to do, what you were taught to do. Fly..."
I could see that there was no fighting her in this matter. But I wasn't going to give up. If she wouldn't let me go with Mikey now, then I needed to do everything possible for her to select me in the next round.
"I'm sorry that I disturbed you Ma'am..." I say, saluting her and turning around to leave
"Liutenant..." She called
I turned around to face her as she was standing up from behind her desk. God she was beautiful...
"I understand you're worried about him... Belive me I do. But the best thing to do now is support him. I talked to him. He's happy to go. As his brother all you need to do is encourage him... Not pass you're worries to him. If he sees that you're scared, then he'll be scared too..." Something changed in her voice when she spoke. She didn't look as the strong woman that normally stood in front of me, she looked fragile now, and almost sad and hurt... I resisted the sudden urge I felt to hold her.
"He's my baby brother... I'll always worry about him..." I stated, looking at the ground, smiling an little bit at the thought of a small Mikey and a small Gerard playing in the backyard of our house, pretending to be pilots.
When looked up again, she was smiling at me too.

Notes

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