Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay

- - -

Gerard POV *

Frank gently pressed his lips to my forehead and, before I knew it, was running off into the dark. "Frankie," I whispered after him. He didn't even turn to look back at me. He probably couldn't bear to see my face.

I just wish he would open up to me.

Frank Iero, you're so amazing, don't you realize that? Why can't you see it? I guess it's my turn. I've gotta ask him to trust me. Otherwise I'll never forgive myself.

- - -

Frank POV *

So now my fantasy has come true and I fucking. pushed. it. away! What's wrong with me? Why do I always have to fuck things up? He was never mine to love. Ugh, I hate myself, I'm such a weird depressed ugly guy who's had this weird crush on the person closest to me. I couldn't have picked someone better? Oh wait, there is nothing better than my Gee.

Gee is perfect. Perfect in every way, from the way he bites his nails to the way he used to smile at me whenever I passed him. Used to smile. Does not smile at me anymore. I just wish that for once in my life someone could look past all these stupid imperfections and just give me a chance. Well, a second chance. I ruined my first one.

- - -

Gerard POV *

It's last lesson now, physics with Mr Woods. Fuck. And even worse, Frank sits right opposite me. I wonder if he'll even turn up. I should have just kissed him right against that wall and never let him go.

- - - the lesson

I grab my nirvana bag and head through the door, where I can already see frank. Okay, well at least I can steal glances at him so I don't fall asleep out of boredom during this lesson. There seems to be some kind of mutual agreement that we're not supposed to look at each other. ...Hell no.

I furtively steal a glance at him, and just when I look at him his eyes slide away from my face and onto the ceiling. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I sign especially audibly and chuck my books and shit on the desk, writing out the title of the work as slowly as possible. Then I stretch my arms above my head, revealing a bit of skin. Frank freezes when he sees my skin and snaps his gaze back to the ground, hiding a blush with his hand. Oh yes, good start Gerard. So now he has noticed me, I know he's gonna be thinking about me all lesson. I know that because I make him anxious.

I know that when I'm around him he can't concentrate, he stutters, his voice goes husky. It's so cute, the way doesn't know where to look, and how his fingers can't keep still. I bet he know I'm having this effect on him. I bet he knows exactly what I'm doing. I chuckle and run my hand through my hair and I feel his gaze on me already. Flicking around the room but always back to me.

- - -

Frank POV *

I keep looking at Gerard, and then mentally slap myself for it. He looked gorgeous today and he knows it. Asshole.

I can feel my face heating up and a wave of anxiety coming on. Keep your shit together, Frank Iero. I forcedmyself to look away but not for long, I hear a chuckle from opposite me. I don't even have to look to know it is none other than that of Gerard Way. I can't think straight. Am I having an anxiety attack?

Gerard is pushing this way too far. I don't actually know whether I can deal with this. I hate myself for the way that this boy can do things to my brain. We haven't even made actual eye contact and I'm freaking out.

Suddenly all I can think about is getting out of the room. Away from all the stares. Away from him. Before even deciding I'm gonna do it, I'm furiously packing my stuff away with trembling fingers. I drop my book twice before I can put it in my bag successfully. I'm so fucking clumsy. "Ok," I huff to myself. I stand up angrily and run to the door.

"Frank Iero, where do you think you're going?" I hear my teacher saying. It seems distant. It seems miles away. I don't answer him, I just bolt out the door with Gerard Way's laughs trailing behind me. Then the panic attack takes over me and all I see is black.

- - -

Notes