Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay

- - -

Suddenly Frank's all serious and he begins playing the chords I made up.

He's concentrating and his new guitar sounds beautiful, especially with these notes he can create out of thin air. But he's not just strumming the chords, he's created a melody of his own, which somehow goes along pretty well with the words.

I watch him picking the strings with his deft fingers and the sounds of my song fill the room. Frank, you should totally write my guitar parts for me!

He's kind of looking deep into my eyes and it's kind of weird, I would say it was romantic but he is just my friend; it's sweet of him. I wonder what he is thinking right now. I notice his hair has fallen over his eyes and he shrugs it away, throwing me a grin and then biting his lip. A strange emotion then puts itself into my brain. I suddenly feel weirdly self-conscious and I watch him in a daze.

Why is he trying so hard to impress me?

- - -

Frank POV *

I play his song and I'm racking my brain for ideas.

Come on, think of a good tune, come on, you're such a fucking failure.

I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop staring into his eyes cause I'm playing the song that he wrote.

Please, Gerard. Please realize how much I care about you, Gee.
Gerard, I would die for you.
I would do anything for you.

'Sing.'

"Sing?" he asks.

Oops, said that out loud.

"Okay." he says.

Long ago
Just like the hearse, you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take
From every heart you break
And like the blade you stain
Well, I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Gerard stops singing and I just drop my arms and unfocus myeyes. I lean my chin on my hands.

His voice sounded so perfect. It's low and warm like honey and rough with pure emotion. I heard the pain coming through his voice. His smooth, velvety, voice. I can never sing like that. Ever. I'm such a failure.

I hear Gerard moving about. "Dude, you okay?" he's asking casually.
"Yeah, fine," I say. "Maybe just... a bit dizzy," I add. "Oh. That's weird, I'm sure you'll be fine," he says. Suddenly he's packing away. "Alright, I gotta go now," he says, as if nothing happened. I mean, probably nothing did happen. So... it's just me and my stupid shitty brain. And he's already standing up, leaving me profusely blushing.

Stop blushing, you fucking piece of shit.

He doesn't like me in that way. He doesn't care. Gerard Way does not love me.

Get over it.

I'll just have to drown in my pain again.

Well, when you go
don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
and maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find some other way

I start playing along and singing with my best voice:

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

I'm suddenly crying and I can't stop. Tears fall down my face and I wish so hard that Gee's arms could be around me...

When you go
Would you even turn to say
I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday

Oh, Gerard, if only you did love me...but you don't... please come back...

- - -

Notes