If You're Real

- - -

"Gerard, it's your turn to see Dr Iero in his office," says a nurse. It's ward-round day today, the day when I have my appointment with Dr Iero, and I'm finally seeing him after what happened the other day in the shower. My mind is going crazy.

Anyway, eventually he calls me in, and I quietly open the door and step inside. It's the same always, the messy bookshelves, the desk, the large chair and Frank, in his black chair. I perch myself on the red sofa-chair thing and look up to see Frank sitting at the desk.

He is exactly the same as I remember him in the shower (apart from the fact he has clothes on), and this adorable strand of hair is sticking up. Again. His eyes sweep over me and take me in. I can't help but blush because I keep remembering what I hallucinated yesterday. Of course, it never actually happened. He was never in my shower, let alone in my room.

He has no idea.
He doesn't know.
And, he probably doesn't care either.
But holy fuck, he was so hot.

As if reading my thoughts, the corner of his mouth turns upwards and he is smirking at me. He's so attractive. If only the Frank in the shower was the same Frank as the real Frank. But it's not. He was in your head.

"So," he says in that breathy voice of his. "How do feel today, rated out of ten?"
Typical. Fucking typical. Right, I should probably answer this. Well, I fucking kissed you yesterday, Dr Iero, so obviously I feel happy.
"Nine out of ten," I say confidently. I bet he'll be surprised.

But he's not surprised at all. He throws me an 'I-thought-so' look and smiles. "That's great, well done Gerard." He looks down after that, is if he is hiding something. What the fuck? For the rest of the session he keeps smiling to himself. It's fucking adorable, but I wanna know what the fuck he is thinking about.

Like usual, we talk about 'how I am' and my 'emotions'. It's so annoying that he knows nothing about what happened in the shower yesterday. I want the real him to love me. Why is this so fucking annoying?

- - -

After our uneventful meeting I go to the group room. This guy called Aaron is there, who just got a new haircut which looks ridiculous. I hide my snigger as I pass him. In the room I find Aishah, Heather, Claudia, Annie and another guy, and two girls I don't know.

They're supposed to be making posters or some shit but they're just dicking around, so I laugh along with them even though I have no idea what they are talking about. God, these people are idiots. I notice that Aishah's laugh sounds like a hyena. Weird. People are messing around and throwing glue sticks at the ceiling to try and get them to stick there; when one falls down, the boy bursts out laughing hysterically and I pretend to laugh.

I do not understand these people, I swear.

I sit down and realize that Dr Iero is sitting in a chair across from me. I make eye contact with him and I do a double-take when he sends me a cute smile. How long has he been watching me? As if he realizes that I just don't want to see him, he gets up and walks away. Before he walks out the room he pauses, then turns around and gives me a small wink. Oh my god.

- - -

Notes