:Frank’s POV: Believe it or not… what happened in 4th grade truly wasn’t the worst experience I’ve had with Gerard. No. That didn’t happen until years later. That didn’t happen till I was at the peak of my obsession. I was in high school. I was beyond obsessed with my doll. It even got to the point where my teachers were so worried about me; they even sent me to the school’s psychologist. In 9th and 10th grade, I originally went every Tuesday and Friday. But when I was in 11th grade, it got downgraded to every Friday. To be honest, even once a week was too much. Although when I was actually going to the sessions I didn’t think much about it. I thought it was normal. I knew other kids didn’t go as much as me, but I still thought it was normal, for me at least. It was routine so how could I not think it was normal? “So Frank, how are things at home?” The school’s psychologist, Mrs. Johnson asked me routinely. She asked me this every time she saw me. One time, I asked her why she asked me the same question every time, and she told me it was just in case something at home had changed. But nothing ever does so, it’s a waste of her breath. I mean, I’ve been in here enough times for her to realize that. You see, I’m in for my weekly visit. I come here every Friday just to talk to this lady. Sometimes I think these visits are unnecessary but… sometimes… she’s the only person in school I can have an actual conversation with. It’s sad… I know… But to be honest, I don’t mind it. I don’t really know a lot of people who despise human interaction so, I shouldn’t mind it. The reason I even come to the lady is because I apparently have ‘issues’. Basically, the teachers in this school think that if I still carry around a doll at my age, then I’m automatically insane. I mean, so what if I still have Gerard? I love him with all my heart and I couldn’t bear to be away from him for any amount of time. Sure, I talk to him during my classes but that’s only because I don’t have any other friends to talk to. I actually mean that. I have no friends. I have a few people that’ll say hi to me or if I get paired up with them for a project, they’ll actually interact with me…but… other than that, no. I don’t have people I hang out with after school, I don’t call anybody just to talk, and at lunch… I don’t sit with anybody. That’s fine though, I have Gerard. Gerard eats with me every day. While I bring my daily cheese sandwich, I also bring so crackers so Gerard. He never finishes them though, he refuses to eat. I’m worried he’s going to get too skinny one day. “Fine. Nothing’s really changed. Mom’s still as nice as ever and Dad’s always working. When he does come home, he’s always in a great mood. Sometimes it’s a façade but sometimes it’s genuine.” I told her quietly while I played with Gerard in my lap. I was making him flap his little arms like a penguin. He looked so cute when I made him do this. He doesn’t mind that I do this either. He likes it. Anyways, my parents were so nice to me. There were times I got yelled at by my mom for not listening to her but that’s really my fault. I shouldn’t have to be told something more than once. I try to be the best son I can be for my parents. I do my chores, I don’t go out and cause trouble, I always do my homework first thing when I get home, and I even cook dinner. I do my best to help my mom be less stressed out. I don’t make her worry and I only leave things undone because she wants to do them. For example, paper work and laundry. Everything else I do. That’s ok though. I don’t mind any of it at all, as long as my mom’s happy. Now, my dad, yes he works a lot. 5 days a week for 12 hours. Even though he does work a lot, and he’s most likely stressed out and extremely tired, he still comes home with a smile. Every time he comes home at 9 o’clock, I immediately give him a hug. I ask him how his day was and then I show him what I’ve accomplished that day. He always tells me I did great and he’s proud of me, and just hearing that from my dad makes me feel amazing. It gives me the sense of I’ve done something right. What also makes me feel amazing is having my dad smiling at me when I’m talking to him. He actually cares about what I have to say, unlike a lot of people I know. I asked him why he smiles when I talk to him and he told me “It’s because I love talking to you. I never really get to so I cherish each time I do.” So anyways, after he comes home and we have our usual conversation, I got to bed and it usually repeats the next day. “That’s good. How’s Gerard?” Mrs. Johnson asked, looking at me with her dull blue eyes from behind her cherry red rimmed glasses. “Fine. He’s getting a bit thin though. I need to take him some place to get him stuffed pretty soon. I like my chubby bambino.” I giggled and turned him around in my hands. I brought him up to my face so I could give him a quick peck on what would be his lips. I looked at Mrs. Johnson through half lidded eyes. She looked terribly worried. I know why; she thought I was crazy. Frankly, I don’t care. I know for a fact that I’m not crazy. I’m just a boy who loves his doll. Speaking of Gerard… he seems sad. I knew he didn’t want to be in here any longer. “Gerard doesn’t want to be in here anymore.” I stated flatly. “D-Did Gerard tell you that he doesn’t want to be in here?” She asked, her hand freezing on the spot. She was writing down some notes but as I said, her hand froze. “No of course not. He can’t talk. But… he looks sad. Before we entered this room, he was happy. So, I would like to leave.” “Frank, you have to be in here for another 45 minutes, until you go home. You know that.” “Really? Fine.” I groaned and then pouted. I looked down at my unhappy friend. “It’s ok Gerard. We’ll be leaving soon.” I whispered low enough for only him and me to hear. No, Gerard can’t talk but, I can tell his emotions just by looking at him. It’s a ‘power’ I’ve gained since I was about 14, and now I’m 16, so 2 years of it. But, because I talk to my doll, other people think I’m mental. They call me psycho. Freak. Nuts. Those names mean nothings to me though; nothing more than a bunch of random letters thrown together to make words that have no meaning to me. They don’t mean anything. They don’t matter. “So…um… Frank. I kind of have to talk to you about Gerard.” Mrs. Johnson muttered. My ears seemed to twitch and his name. “What about him? There’s nothing to talk about except his new bow.” I said, pointing to the tiny white ribbon that was situated in his hair. When I was at the store with my mom yesterday, I had spotted the cutest little bow. It was pearl white and had a black circle sequin in the middle. When I saw it, I immediately ran over to it and clipped it into Gerard’s hair. I had begged my mom to buy it for me, and since it was only a dollar, she was nice enough to buy it for me. Sure, it was girly and probably meant for a little girl, but it suited Gerard so well! So, I’m probably never gonna take it off him. “Actually Frank… there is. All of your teachers have spoken to me and they all say that Gerard is… preventing you from learning correctly.” She explained. I just stared at her. She was lying. “So they think it’d be best if you stopped bringing him to school.” “Lies.” I hissed, scooting my chair back away from her. “W-What?” “Gerard doesn’t prevent me from learning. I don’t get distracted by him. I have at least an A in all of my classes. I do all of the class work, the homework, and I get 100’s on all of my test. My lowest score this year was a 97! So don’t give me this crap. You want me to stop bringing Gerard to class just because you think he prevents me from learning? I’m on high honors so that definitely isn’t it. You people just think I’m insane. Well guess what, I’m not! I’m not crazy! I’m just hanging on to the one thing I love. He’s the only friend I have and you are not taking him away from me!” I cried, tears that I didn’t know I had formed, slipping down my cheeks. “Frank…” “I’m leaving. Not the school but this room.” I mumbled quickly before snatching up my bag and bolting out of the room. I can’t believe my teachers! There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m a straight A student, I do my work, and I never get in trouble! Is this really all because of Gerard!? This isn’t fair! I hate them. They don’t understand why I need Gerard. I don’t have friends, I’m not in a relationship, and I probably never will be, so I am truly alone. All I have is Gerard. He’s all I need and all I want. I don’t need others. They’ll all turn on me and hate me eventually. That’s what always happens. I quickly ran to my locker and leaned my back against it. I slid down to the floor and brought my knees up to my chest. I sat Gerard upon my knees and faced him towards me. Tears were slipping down my cheeks like little streams. I didn’t want to cry to front of him but I couldn’t help it. I was just so sad. My teachers wanted me to get rid of him, or at least stop bringing him to school. But I just can’t do that; I physically can’t. I always have to be with him or else I’ll freak out. He’s been with me ever since I was 5 so… I can’t just get rid of him. Oh god… I can’t even comprehend a world without him. I stared up at my little friend. His face made me smile a little bit. “I wish you were real Gerard. Then you could protect me from those evil teachers. I wish you were real so I wouldn’t be lonely anymore. I want you to be able to hold me in your arms, kiss my neck, and whisper in my ears that everything’s going to be ok. Please be real! Please! I need you. I love you and I need you to help me. Please…” I whispered, feeling hopeless. I had to face the facts; Gerard wasn’t real and he never would be. At this realization, my heart seemed to shatter. To know I loved someone and they could never be real… it… it just hurts. All of a sudden, Gerard was being ripped from me. My eyes widened and traveled up to the person who had taken him. I saw familiar long raven hair, icy blue eyes, and pale skin. A boy with pink lips and white teeth stood before me. I knew who this guy was. Josh Bagans. He was Amy’s current boyfriend and my bully. Well, one of them. Ever since he started dating Amy, he’s been mean to me. To this day, I still don’t know why that girl hates me. I’ve done nothing to her, yet she blames and takes everything out on me. For example, she got suspended, twice, and both times, she broke my nose. When she got pregnant at the age of 14 by her ex-boyfriend and had a miscarriage, she broke my arm. When that boyfriend dumped her after he found out about the pregnancy, she kicked me in the balls. But that’s Amy. This is Josh. Josh was the nicest guy I knew before he started dating Amy. He used to do volunteer work, did a lot of after school activities, got straight A’s and never got in trouble. He loved to help people and to do well. He was even my friend. Now… he gets all F’s, he gets detentions, doesn’t help anybody and is wicked mean. He does drugs, fucking Amy anywhere and everywhere, and steals. It’s a shame what he’s turned into. But… one thing Josh does that is… traumatizing to me...is… H-He violates me…. H-He found out I was gay last year and so… he used it against me. H-He kisses me… he’s given me hand jobs, he’s made me give him ones, he even forces me down on my knees and makes me give him a blow job. I-It’s horrible. It makes me feel absolutely disgusting. I… I don’t understand how he could do such things to me. I remember the first time he forced me down onto my knees. He had duct taped my hands behind my back tightly, and pushed me down onto my knees. We were in the boy’s locker room after school when he did this so no one knew about it. I remember him unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out right in front of my face. He chuckled evilly and told me I was going to be sucking on it. I remember screaming… telling him not to make me do it. I was begging to be let go but he just ignored me. I remember him gripping the back of my dark brown hair, yanking my head back, and forcing my mouth open. He shoved his cock straight into my mouth and told me to suck; he told me that if I bit him, he’d kill me. So I did what he forced me to do. I sucked on him; salty tears were flowing down my cheeks. Breathing was extremely tough considering what was in my mouth. The taste was absolutely disgusting. Sweat and pre cum filled my mouth when he was forcing himself in my mouth. He was shoving himself down my throat and he was gripping my hair. I remember feeling his cum, warm and thick, running down my throat. It was too salty for my liking. But the last thing I remember was him cutting my restraints and him telling me that it wasn’t the last time I’d be doing that. It definitely wasn’t. After that day, I was afraid of him. Even though what he had done to me was because of my sexual orientation, it didn’t change my view on it. I was still gay, and him forcing me to do such a horrible thing was not going to change that. No one even knew about that day now that I think about it. I can kept it from my parents and Josh hadn’t told anyone. So… I guess these deeds were our secret. “Josh give him back!” I screamed and shot right up, trying to get my friend back. “No way sugar. I ain’t giving him back until I get a little present first.” He whispered, licking his lips. My eyes widened. I tried to grab Gerard and run away but Josh just slammed me against my locker. I squeaked as pain shot through my lower back as the lock dug into my skin. I knew I’d have a bruise there later on. Josh looked at Gerard for a quick second before tossing him over his shoulder. I watched helplessly as my friend fell to the floor, landing straight on his face. I gulped and tried to hold a scream in. “Josh… what do you want from me?” I asked nervously. My body was trembling and tears were dripping from my chin onto my floor. I hate when he does this. He randomly comes and finds me just because he’s horny then he makes me do something with him. Luckily, he hasn’t gone as far as raping me but that’s only because every time he tries, I fight extremely hard and eventually end up kicking him in the balls. I’m not going to be raped by some douche bag like him. I’m not going to be raped by anyone. If he tries today, he’s gonna be in a lot of pain. “You know what I want from you. I want your pretty little pink lips stretched around my cock…” “Why now? Why can’t you just go get Amy to suck you off?” “Eh… I’m bored of her. She was fun for a while but everything became too routine. But with you… oh god… I never know what’s gonna happen. You could be sweet today… or you could be feisty.” “You’re sick. You better keep your cock away from me. I’m sick and tired of having you shove that nasty thing down my throat. I may be gay but I’m not desperate enough to suck your cock.” I mumbled. Josh sneered and then grabbed a fist full of my hair. He yanked it harshly and got really close to me. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek, his thigh pressed against my crotch, his rough hand in my hair…. “Now listen to me… you’re going to suck me off and you’re going to like it. You’re going to let me fuck your mouth and you’re going to let me cum straight down your throat. Now… if you don’t let me do all of this… I have no problem with tying you up, dragging you into the janitor’s closet, spreading your pretty pale legs, and entering you dry. I’m not afraid to pound you into the ground and I’m not afraid to make you bleed.” He growled lowly and pressed my head hard against my locker. I whimpered and my eyes widened. “So are you gonna be a good little boy and do what I say?” He asked. I nodded. He smiled and said, “Good”. Next thing I knew, Josh had grabbed the back of my thighs and made me wrap my legs around his waist. He pushed me against my locker and held me up with one hand on my ass. My heart rate increased and my face of him intensified. H-He couldn’t possibly want to do this right here in the hallway! T-There are people in classes! Even the slightest noise from me or him and they’re bound to come look. That’s just how students are. But oh my god. I… Josh is about to do something horrible to me. I… I don’t know if I’ll be able to take it. He’s done this to me too many times and I just can’t handle it anymore! I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want him to breathe on me, I don’t want him within a fucking 100 mile radius of me! I want his filthy hands off me and I want him to leave me alone. But, he did the exact opposite of what I wanted. Josh pressed his chapped lips to mine for a second before attaching them to my neck. I felt hit hot saliva seeping onto my skin, his tongue pressing against my neck, my skin going into my mouth as he sucked on in. The feeling made me want to vomit. I will admit, Josh is cute but I don’t like him so this whole thing is repulsing to me. His free hand started to work on my black button up shirt. I felt the buttons pop apart one by one before I finally felt his large hand on my chest. He slid it up to my shoulder and he started to push my shirt from me. “Stop…” I whispered. “No way sugar. I know you’re enjoying this. Your body’s reacting to what I’m doing positively…” “That doesn’t mean I like this. That’s just my body. It’s not my mind.” “But the body doesn’t lie. The mind does.” He chuckled and pinched my right nipple between his thumb and his index finger. My body twitched and I shut my eyes tightly. I held back scream as he started to rub my nipple. I can’t stand him touching me. It makes me feel disgusting. I’m not a whore. I’m not just some play thing you find whenever you want and do whatever you want to it. I’m a fucking human being and I shouldn’t be treated like this. I shouldn’t be forced to endure things I don’t want to experience. I felt Josh’s hand start to creep down from my chest. His fingers twitched down to my belly button and down further. They eventually ended up on the fly of my jeans. “No!” I screamed but Josh silenced me by kissing me. His hand undid the button on my jeans and then he pulled my zipper down. His long fingers slipped under the waistband of my boxers and I could feel his calloused finger tips rub against the base of my cock. My whole body froze up when his hand came in contact with the sensitive skin. Time seemed to stop and everything went silent. “Oh… you like when I touch there?” He asked quietly while slipping his hand around my base. “No…” “Liar.” He hissed and started to stroke me. I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth together. I can’t say I wasn’t feeling anything when he touched me because that would be a lie. When he touched me, I felt little waves of pleasure pulsing from my cock, to my stomach, and then to my chest. Sure, I felt pleasure but that doesn’t mean I liked the fact that he was the one giving me pleasure. I hated it. I don’t know how many times I could possibly say it. To be honest… for what Josh has done to me… I wish he’d burn in hell. I know that’s such a mean thing to say or… think in this case but… I mean it. Josh is just an evil person who deserves to burn in an evil place. One thing I wonder is… how could he do this to me? What would make him decide that one day, he was going to shove his cock down my throat? What would make him decide that he’d keep repeating his actions every so often? He obviously knows I don’t like it. He knows how every time he does it, it traumatizes me even more. He laughs when he leaves me, crying and shaking, curled up into a ball on the floor. He finds my pain amusing. Well not anymore. After today, I’m done with all of this. Josh’s hand slowly rubbed my skin. I could feel every inch of his skin moving with mine. I could hear his hand sliding over my hot, wet skin. I could feel my cock pulsing and leaking in his hand. This wasn’t good. My body was enjoying this…. Why can’t my body react the same way as my mind? If it were to react the same way as my mind, it’d be disgusted. It would hate what this poor excuse for a human being is doing to it. Obviously that’s not how it’s working though. My body’s enjoying this and I feel as if I’m about to come. I don’t jerk off by myself so it’s been a while since I last came. That also means I’m not going to last much longer with Josh. “Ngh….” “That’s right sugar. Come for me…” My hands gripped onto his shirt as his strokes started to gain some speed. I felt blood rush to my cheeks, heating them up. Oh god I’m close. I don’t understand how he could make me feel like this even though I feel nothing but pure hate towards him. Oh god… “Oh my god…” I moaned quietly. My grip on Josh’s shirt tightened and my head lulled to the side. My breathing was quick and my stomach was having mini spasms. I could feel my orgasm building in my stomach. Every stroke brought me closer to the edge. Eventually it just because too much to handle. “Oh god… I’m coming! Oh my god, Gerard!!” I practically screamed as I shot my load into Josh’s hand. My orgasm washed over my entire body, making my breath hitch in my throat. My whole body felt amazing for a few seconds before I had to release my breath. Then, it was all over. The reality of what had just happened then crashed down on me. Did I just…? “Gerard? Your fucking doll!?” Josh growled and dropped me right on my ass. His head snapped towards my friend about 10 feet away from us. I can’t believe I moaned Gerard’s name. He’s not real. He wasn’t the one pleasuring me. He is the one I love though…. He’s the one who I wish was pleasuring me. I wish he was actually real so he could carry me to bed, place me down on the soft material, strip me naked and placed soft, sweet kisses all over my body. I wish he would then stroke me until I was hard and leaking…. I wish he’d fuck me right into the mattress…. Oh god what am I thinking?! He’s a doll for god’s sake! A doll who’s about to die. Fuck. I zipped up my pants, forgetting about my shirt, grabbed my bag, and bolted towards Gerard. I picked him up and turned around to face Josh. “Frank. Give him.” “No.” I said and shook my head. “Frank.” He said sternly. “No! You are not going to hurt him!” I retorted. I didn’t even wait to hear his response. I just turned around and ran at full speed out of the school. I didn’t care if it wasn’t time to leave. I needed to get out of there. I needed to get Gerard away from Josh. Away from harm. As long as Josh couldn’t get near Gerard, he’d be ok. I’d be ok. Nothing’s going to hurt us…. Once I approached the parking lot, I saw my mom’s car. She was here early but thank god for that! I ran to her car, ripped the door open, and jumped in. I slammed the door shut and just broke down crying. Tears poured down my face as I hugged Gerard close to my chest. “Bambino!? What happened?! What’s wrong?!” My mom asked, practically having a heart attack. I couldn’t answer her. I was too consumed with my crying. I had just gotten away from the boy who’s violated me numerous times. He was going to hurt Gerard. He was problem going to rip my friend to shreds… and… and then he’d go after me. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. I know how pissed guys get if a girl moans another guys name during sex. So why wouldn’t he be pissed if I moaned out someone else’s name? Especially my doll’s name. That’s it…I’m insane. I’ve denied it all before because I thought it wasn’t true but this experience has proved me wrong. I moaned my fucking doll’s name out while getting pleasured! If that doesn’t make me crazy… then I don’t know what does. “Mommy…. Josh…. H-he… he t-touched m-me. A-And w-when I came I- I m-moaned G-Gerard’s name!” I cried. My mom pulled me into her arms and she let me cry against her chest. The spot I was crying on soon became soaked but my mom didn’t care. “Sh… baby you’re ok now…. Please calm down…” ~*~*~*~* After about 20 minutes of crying against my mom’s chest, I finally calmed down enough to explain everything to her. To say the least, she was furious. She told me she was going to get Josh arrested for raping me. I told her he didn’t but she then explained to me that if he forced me to do anything sexual and I didn’t want it, then it was rape. If I had to count to number of times he’s ‘raped’ be then… I’d say it’s well over 60 times. She also told me how I was going to be ok and how he couldn’t hurt me anymore. You have no idea how relieved I was to hear that. “Frank… I need to talk to you about something else though.” My mom said quietly. “W-What is it?” I asked, fear building in my chest. “I think… maybe you should get rid of Gerard.” She whispered. “What?! No!” “Bambino you have to! At least just put him away. It’ll be for the best!” “No Mom! I’m not going to get rid of him. I love him! He’s my friend! You’re not going to take my friend away from me!” I sobbed. I held Gerard tightly in my hands. She wasn’t going to take him away from me. Nobody was. I have to protect him. “Frank, I’m sorry. You either put him away or I burn him! You’re making the decision tonight. I’m sorry bambino but you’ve become a little too attached to him. It’s not normal! It’s not normal to moan your doll’s name!” “But Mommy I love him.” “I know you do. But you have to make the choice” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~* That truly was the toughest day for me. I had gotten raped and I also had to decide to either put Gerard away or have him burned. I couldn’t possibly let him burn so I put him away. I put him in a cardboard box and locked him in the attic. That day was extremely sad for me. I cried for hours. And from those hours, they turned into days, and then weeks. I had lost my true love. But now that I think about it, it was only for the best. After that day, Josh had gotten arrested. After that day, the teachers stopped worrying about me. After that day… and after I had gotten over the depression of losing my love… I had slowly started to become normal. Well as normal as I can be. But to be honest… that day… was probably the best and the worst. The worst because I lost a friend… but the best because… it got me to where I am now.