Cries Not Heard
I'm Dying in a Nightmare
Gerard’s POV
The rest of the week went the same. His parents was always comparing him to Mikey, his torturers still managing to beat him no matter how hard Mikey tried to protect him, and his interest in Frank growing. He spent his free time crying in his room when he thought no one was near to hear, and completing his painting for art. He had finished it Thursday, and it was now Friday. Ray and Frank were going to be coming over and spending the weekend tonight. They were to arrive at around eight at night. Gerard didn’t was his room looking like the mess it normally is, so he decided to try and tame the piles upon piles of art supplies, art, and comics, and tried to pile them neatly on his bookshelves and desk. He didn’t accomplish much since it was still a disaster, but at least it looked a bit better than it did just flung everywhere. He picked up the random pieces of trash from the floor, and made his bed. They were most likely going to hangout in his room since it’s bigger than Mikey’s and they didn’t want Mrs. and Mr. Way to be around while hanging out. They would just grab a bunch of blankets and pillows, and make a fort on the floor where they would all sleep. They did it before when it was just Ray, Mikey, and he. This time the only difference was their new friend, Frank.
He didn’t bother to go up to socialize with his brother and parents. He knew that if his brother needed him, he would come to him himself. His anxiety was at sky high. He didn’t know how he would be able to handle hiding his lack of intake of food. It would have been easy to hide not eating a single meal, but he would be hiding six meals, not to mention he would have to decline all the snacks that the boys would be eating. It was a worrisome situation. How could he get out of it? His mind wandered to one possible solution. It was something that would put his brother at ease too which made that much more appealing. He could simply eat a little to give the illusion of him being well, and to Mikey, getting better. But once he was alone, or just gave an excuse, he would go to the bathroom, and purge himself of the toxins called food. This was the only option, the safest, he decided.
Time flew by, and soon it was six o’clock. He managed to not eating anything tonight, using the upset stomach excuse, a classic if he might add. He was already tired. He had no energy to do anything, but he had to at least act like he did. He knew it was from the lack of food, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. If it meant getting thinner, he would do whatever it takes to become the best he can for Mikey. Mikey just doesn’t understand is all. One day, he will understand all that Gerard has done for him, and he will be so grateful and happy. Gerard just had to wait for that day to come.
Gerard spent so much time thinking that time flew by, and before he knew it, the clock rang eight. It was only a matter of time before they would arrive. He threw a brush through his hair, and fixed his make-up. The doorbell rang while he was straightening out his clothes. He rushed to get and put on his favorite leather jacket to hide his scars. He wasn’t proud of what he had done, and he had no intentions of ever letting anyone find out about his destructive habit. He gave himself a once over in the mirror before deciding he looked as ugly as ever. He sighed to himself. He didn’t know what Mikey saw in him, he was just grateful to have him, even though he knew he didn’t deserve him. He could have a nice future with a wife and a family. It was what was accepted in today’s society. She would be able to give him kids, something that he could never do. She would be beautiful unlike him. They would be able to have an open relationship, something that Gerard just would never be able to provide for Mikey. He sighed once more to himself before his inner thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in,” he said softly. Mikely led the three in. Frank, being the last in, gently shut his door. “Hey!” he greeted with a forced grin. His mind was anything, but cheery at the moment. It was a dark place, and a storm was brewing.
“Hey,” Ray greeted back with Frank awkwardly waving behind him. Mikey took his place beside him, and took Gerard’s hand in his, kissing him gently on the cheek. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Gerard leaning on Mikey until Ray spoke up,
“So, uh… what should we do?” Mikey and Gerard smirked at each other.
“Perhaps we should show him our awesome skills, don’t you think, Mikey?”
“I agree, Gee.” Ray looked at them like they were crazy, but knew what they were talking about. Five minutes later, there was a giant fort of blankets and pillows.
“Dude, this is awesome!” Frank said with a big grin on his face, jumping in the fluffy pile.
“Feel free to grab a comic,” Gerard said. Frank took a few minutes to browse the comics before finally settling on one. He walked back over to the fort, and plopped down. A few minutes later, Mikey spoke up.
“Hey, guys, I’m going to get some snacks and drinks, want some?” Ray and Frank gave their affirmative, and Gerard just smiled, trying to make it look like he was enjoying himself and wanted to eat. He could feel his jaw tighten as he watched Mikey leave to get the food, and he could feel the sting in his eyes that was associated with tears. It was clear that the battle had already begun, now he just had to keep up a good act. He discreetly wiped away his tears before burrowing in his pile. He had a feeling this weekend was going to be a nightmare.
The rest of the week went the same. His parents was always comparing him to Mikey, his torturers still managing to beat him no matter how hard Mikey tried to protect him, and his interest in Frank growing. He spent his free time crying in his room when he thought no one was near to hear, and completing his painting for art. He had finished it Thursday, and it was now Friday. Ray and Frank were going to be coming over and spending the weekend tonight. They were to arrive at around eight at night. Gerard didn’t was his room looking like the mess it normally is, so he decided to try and tame the piles upon piles of art supplies, art, and comics, and tried to pile them neatly on his bookshelves and desk. He didn’t accomplish much since it was still a disaster, but at least it looked a bit better than it did just flung everywhere. He picked up the random pieces of trash from the floor, and made his bed. They were most likely going to hangout in his room since it’s bigger than Mikey’s and they didn’t want Mrs. and Mr. Way to be around while hanging out. They would just grab a bunch of blankets and pillows, and make a fort on the floor where they would all sleep. They did it before when it was just Ray, Mikey, and he. This time the only difference was their new friend, Frank.
He didn’t bother to go up to socialize with his brother and parents. He knew that if his brother needed him, he would come to him himself. His anxiety was at sky high. He didn’t know how he would be able to handle hiding his lack of intake of food. It would have been easy to hide not eating a single meal, but he would be hiding six meals, not to mention he would have to decline all the snacks that the boys would be eating. It was a worrisome situation. How could he get out of it? His mind wandered to one possible solution. It was something that would put his brother at ease too which made that much more appealing. He could simply eat a little to give the illusion of him being well, and to Mikey, getting better. But once he was alone, or just gave an excuse, he would go to the bathroom, and purge himself of the toxins called food. This was the only option, the safest, he decided.
Time flew by, and soon it was six o’clock. He managed to not eating anything tonight, using the upset stomach excuse, a classic if he might add. He was already tired. He had no energy to do anything, but he had to at least act like he did. He knew it was from the lack of food, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. If it meant getting thinner, he would do whatever it takes to become the best he can for Mikey. Mikey just doesn’t understand is all. One day, he will understand all that Gerard has done for him, and he will be so grateful and happy. Gerard just had to wait for that day to come.
Gerard spent so much time thinking that time flew by, and before he knew it, the clock rang eight. It was only a matter of time before they would arrive. He threw a brush through his hair, and fixed his make-up. The doorbell rang while he was straightening out his clothes. He rushed to get and put on his favorite leather jacket to hide his scars. He wasn’t proud of what he had done, and he had no intentions of ever letting anyone find out about his destructive habit. He gave himself a once over in the mirror before deciding he looked as ugly as ever. He sighed to himself. He didn’t know what Mikey saw in him, he was just grateful to have him, even though he knew he didn’t deserve him. He could have a nice future with a wife and a family. It was what was accepted in today’s society. She would be able to give him kids, something that he could never do. She would be beautiful unlike him. They would be able to have an open relationship, something that Gerard just would never be able to provide for Mikey. He sighed once more to himself before his inner thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in,” he said softly. Mikely led the three in. Frank, being the last in, gently shut his door. “Hey!” he greeted with a forced grin. His mind was anything, but cheery at the moment. It was a dark place, and a storm was brewing.
“Hey,” Ray greeted back with Frank awkwardly waving behind him. Mikey took his place beside him, and took Gerard’s hand in his, kissing him gently on the cheek. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Gerard leaning on Mikey until Ray spoke up,
“So, uh… what should we do?” Mikey and Gerard smirked at each other.
“Perhaps we should show him our awesome skills, don’t you think, Mikey?”
“I agree, Gee.” Ray looked at them like they were crazy, but knew what they were talking about. Five minutes later, there was a giant fort of blankets and pillows.
“Dude, this is awesome!” Frank said with a big grin on his face, jumping in the fluffy pile.
“Feel free to grab a comic,” Gerard said. Frank took a few minutes to browse the comics before finally settling on one. He walked back over to the fort, and plopped down. A few minutes later, Mikey spoke up.
“Hey, guys, I’m going to get some snacks and drinks, want some?” Ray and Frank gave their affirmative, and Gerard just smiled, trying to make it look like he was enjoying himself and wanted to eat. He could feel his jaw tighten as he watched Mikey leave to get the food, and he could feel the sting in his eyes that was associated with tears. It was clear that the battle had already begun, now he just had to keep up a good act. He discreetly wiped away his tears before burrowing in his pile. He had a feeling this weekend was going to be a nightmare.
Notes
Another chapter. Thank you all for reading and keeping up with this story, I love you all. The readers are the best motivation for a writer.
You're back!! Yay!!
2/7/16