I love you, no matter who you are

"That all you got faggot?" they shouted at me and shoved me onto the floor. I tried to got up, but i was shoved back, on my knees.
"Yeah you got on your knees like you do when you are sucking you faggot boyfriend's dick!" i looked up to see a snakelike face of one of my bullies.
"Fuck off Ben." i muttered ,feeling blood in my mouth as i bite my tongue to try to control the pain.
"Maybe i'll go fuck off. Or i'll just go screw your mum. Bet she'd like that after the fuckup her worthless fat homo son turned out to be." I wanted to kill him right now. The final bell rang and they all run away. One of them, Danny i think, kicked my side, and then ran to them laughing like crazy.
Clutching my side, i picked up my backpack and made my way to the parking lot. I was glad to see my beat-up Subaru. My ribs were burning. I opened my car and slid to driver seat, joining the line to go to the street. I was silently screaming at the cars infront of me. I wanted to be in home. Alone in my room where nobody could see me through the transparent car window. Something was whispering into my ear to do the one thing i wanted to do more then anything. The only thing that might make me feel better. The only thing i craved almost every second at school and everynight, when i laid on my bed awake, unable to speak. I arrived home, unlocking the door ,running into my room. I kicked off my shoes and lugging my backpack upstairs, throwing it down on my bed. I then turned and pulled open the bathroom door. I flipped on the light switch and stepped inside. A disgusting face greeted me in the mirror. God how hideous it was. Ugly black hair, tangled and sticking up in all directions. Fat, fat everywhere. On my weak arms. On my stomach which i could clearly see, protruding from beneath my shirt. On my face. On my stupid chubby cheeks. In the mirror i caught my own horrible brown eyes brimmed in red from crying bags underneath them from too many sleepless nights. I stared into them, at the secrets and lies and hurt hidden behind them. I hate myself. I hate myself i hate myself.
I closed the door behind me, yanking open a drawer under the counter. I pushed aside all the crap shoved in the front only looking for one thing. The voice in back of my head coaxed me on urges me to do it. My finger closed around the thin piece of metal and i extracted it from the drawer. My fingers subconciously repositioned themselves on the blade and my other hand shoved up the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
I looked down at the maze of scars already decorating my arm and the only thing that i felt was my hatered intensifying. Then the sharp pinch as the razor blade bit into my skin and the calm that fell over me as i slid it across my arm. I sighted closing my eyes. My heart settled in my chest and my shoulders relaxed. I slashed at my arm again and again determinded not to lose the blissful feeling of nothingness. Red lines bloomed across the skin of my arm but i didnt care. I savored the relaxation that overtook my body, closed my eyes and breathed in the emptyness in my mind
I was snapped out of my reverie by pounding on the bathroom door.
"Gee! What the hell is your problem?!" came an angry voice from the hallway.
Shit. Mikey. I forgot to pick him up after school. "S-sorry." i stammered bolting to shove the blade into the back of the drawer. I pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt back down then flushed a toilet to make it seem like i'd actually going to the bathroom. Actually doing, what any normal non-fucked-up person would've been doing. I ran some water over my hands to dried them off. Then i opened the door to face very pissed off Mikey.
"You pick me up everyday Gerard. Everyday. Why the hell would it be today any different?"
"I know." i said looking down at my feet. "im sor-" Mikey cut me off.
"I had to catch a ride home with Thomas, Gee, Thomas."
Thomas was an old family friend but he wasnt exactly the one you talked to in a public. He was a total nerd with Star Wars obsession and strange turtle fetish.
"Look Mikey. I said i was sorry. It wont happen again."
"Yeah sure." said Mikey already turning away toward his room. "I cannot wait till i get my license. Then i dont have to depend on my dumbass brother to drive me everywhere." i was pretty sure that the last part, muttered under his breath, wasnt meant for me to hear. In a way i felt bad for him. Felt bad that he still got few months until he got his temp. Felt bad that i had forgotten to pick him up. Felt bad that he had have such an awful brother.

Notes

Heya! So.....this is my first story here so far. How do you like/dislike it? I hope it was good. I'll be glad for every response to my stories. So dont worry to rate/comment/subscribe.
Yours Mels Killjoy Pond