Gerard's Way

Instead of walking to back to the bed, Gerard walked over to his desk. Its not that he didn’t want to comfort his siblings, he just need to compose himself first. He had to get rid of the angry tears that stung his eyes, and the burning in his throat that would make it hard to talk, if he tried. Gerard sat heavily in his desk chair and pulled a notebook towards him. Its cover was of his own design; a skull showing through ivy and surrounded by bricks, done and shaded entirely with a black pen. He flicked the dog-eared pages until he found a clear one. As he picked up his fountain pen, he couldn’t help but think of his grandmother. She had given it to him when he was sixteen, and he cherished it. Gerard smiled fondly; it had been one of the best of his life. But his smile soon faded as he thought of the last time he had seen her.
In the hospital room, after the car accident, Gerard had been standing with her. His mom had taken his siblings to get something to eat but Gerard had stayed. He had to. If he had left, he felt he would lose her. Tears burned in his eyes then. She had been paralyzed from the waist down, her full-of-life face pale and tense with barely concealed pain. He had held her hand like a life line. She smiled at him and it almost killed him inside. She had been so strong. His rock.

“Take care of them, Gerard. You’re all they’ve got now. Please, promise me you’ll try?” He had nodded fast, blinded by tears, not entirely trusting his voice to work. Then he heard the long flat note come from the machine beside them.

“NO!” Gerard yanked himself out of the memory. It was too painful. Still too raw! He had to focus on the present. They needed him. He had to be strong; he had to look after them. He had to… Gerard put the pen away with a little too much care and stood up fast enough to knock his chair over. His startled siblings looked over at the sound. Jamia untangled herself from her brother who had been lying with his head in her lap. Jamia laid a soft hand on her twin’s arm. He turned into her and hugged her tightly, burying his face against her neck. She clung to him and he held her. It was funny how their actions reflected the other’s mood.
“Are you okay?” Jamia’s voice was soft, and Gerard knew it was because of his outburst.
“I’m fine, Jamz.” Gerard stepped back out of his sister’s embrace and looked over her shoulder at their brother. Jamia’s gaze locked onto the pen case on his desk.
“You were using Gram’s pen…” She sounded confused, and sad. Mostly sad. Gerard nodded and turned his sister away from his desk.
“She gave it to me, remember?” Jamia frowned slightly, but meekly let her twin steer her back to the bed where Mikey sat. Jamia was really sensitive, and her mind had a self-defense mechanism that messed with her memories sometimes. Like with gran. She honestly didn’t remember that their gran had… passed away. Gerard frowned to himself. Jamia sat next to Mikey and looked up at Gerard expectantly. Gerard shook his head slightly which only made her frown.
“I’m going to go talk to mom. I suggest you two start unpacking your things.” Jamia smiled and said a quick “Okay” while Mikey just nodded. Gerard waited for them to get up and go downstairs first, before he followed and closed his door softly behind him. He glanced in the direction the others had gone and headed in the opposite direction. Their mom’s room was at the end of the hall and the door had been closed while they had been talking. Gerard knocked softly but when he didn’t get a reply, he quietly opened the door and stepped through. Their mom was sitting on her bed, shoulders slumped and her head hanging. Her raven hair hung in her face, but did nothing to conceal her tears. Gerard strode across the room and squatted down in front of his mom. He reached up slowly and laid a pale hand on her shaking shoulder. She sniffed quietly and looked up at him. She didn’t seem surprised to see him there, and soon she was kneeling on the floor with him, her head on his shoulder and her heart-rending sobs wracking her small frame. Gerard just held his mom silently. His gran’s words echoed in his mind; “Take care of them, Gerard. You’re all they’ve got…”

Later that night, they all pitched in to help with supper. They all took their food to the living room and sat together to eat. None of them really felt like being alone. Gerard watched each member of his slowly shrinking family closely, looking for signs only he could detect; a slight shift in posture, a soft sigh, even a simple blink that seemed to take a second too long. Gerard paid particular attention to Mikey, but it seemed for once that his brother was fine. Gerard’s brow furrowed slightly; he made a mental note to speak to Mikey in the morning, before he took in the school applications. Tomorrow was going to be a long day…

Notes

Sad and short, but we got some Gee background. Keep me posted on your thoughts, Peepz. What do you think school will be like for the Way children?? ;D