And Without You is How I Disappear

--- Two Years Later ---

“MIKEY FUCKING WAY! If you are not out here in five minutes, I am leaving without you!”

Frank can hear Mikey laughing loudly in the other room. “As if you’d actually leave me behind” he calls back.

Frank smirks.

Mikey is right. He wouldn’t leave Mikey behind for anything, but he’d be damned if he was going to admit that to the skinny diva in the other room.

“Whatever you say Mikes, but seriously, we need to go. It’s already almost 9.”

Hearing movement in the hall, Frank turns his head to see Mikey finally emerging from his room.

“Ah, thanks for joining me. Now that you put your face on, are you ready to go?” teases Frank.

Mikey had changed quite a bit over the last couple years. Gone were the glasses and shaggy hair that used to dominate his looks. Now, his dyed black hair was cut shorter, gelled to perfection, and his eyes were rimmed perfectly with just the right amount of black eyeliner. He wore black jeans and a black button up shirt which he left untucked. His trademark smirk was already set firmly in place.

“I’m ready asshole, let’s get a move on! I’m gonna be late!” Mikey looks up to Frank and waves his hands towards the door.

Smiling, Frank turns to open the door letting Mikey wheel himself out onto the porch. “After you, Princess.”

Mikey’s flipped up middle finger was the only response he got. Frank giggled and locked the door behind them.

As he watched Mikey roll himself down the ramp and onto the sidewalk, Frank couldn’t help but feel that familiar burn of anger flaring up in his chest. He still struggled with the fact that Gerard had walked away from the wreckage with little more than a few scratches and a dislocated shoulder while his younger brother had been forever changed. Gerard didn’t even serve any jail time. He was fined for drinking and driving, consumption as a minor, and a few other charges. He served a shit ton of community service hours, had to pay a pretty hefty fine, and had his license suspended for a year, but that was it.

The younger Way wasn’t as lucky. The accident had left Mikey paralyzed from the waist down, his spinal cord severed from the force of the impact. He’d also sustained serious head trauma and still bore the scars from the multiple surgeries he’d needed to piece his skull back together, though most of those were covered by his hair. By all accounts, he was lucky to have survived at all. Every single doctor said the same thing, Mikey was a medical miracle. He should have died. He should have suffered major brain damage. He should have more permanent emotional scars.

But somehow, Mikey had proven them all wrong, though it was not an easy journey.

Mikey had been in the hospital for most of the summer, only being released a few days before the start of his senior year. Frank had been there through it all; every surgery, every physical therapy session, every psychiatry appointment. He had rarely left Mikey’s bedside. In fact, in the two years since the accident, Frank had been Mikey’s near constant companion. He had basically moved in once Mikey was able to go home. There were some things a 17 year old boy did not want his mother’s help with. Showering, getting dressed, going to the bathroom; these were all tasks that Mikey needed to relearn how to do on his own. In the meantime, Frank was there to help him since they both agreed that it was far less embarrassing for your best friend to see your dick flopping about in the shower than your mother. Frank had to be there since Gerard wasn’t.

Before Mikey had been released, Gerard packed his stuff and moved out. He hadn’t really been staying at the house anyway, choosing instead to crash on random friends’ couches as a way to avoid Frank. He only came to the hospital once, the day after the accident. Mikey hadn’t been awake yet and the doctors were still unsure if he would survive. He never spoke a word during his visit. He simply reached out and squeezed Mikey’s hand and then left. Frank hadn’t seen him since. Donna said he started SVA that fall as scheduled, but other than that she kept quiet about what he was doing. He never came back home, not even for holidays and he never called. Mikey was upset at first, but seemed to accept it after a few months. He still loved his brother, but Mikey still hadn’t forgiven him for being reckless and stupid. Frank could see the pain in Mikey’s eyes though…the pain of having your own brother nearly kill you and then leave. It was the one wound that Frank doubted would ever heal.

Once they graduated high school, both Mikey and Frank decided to hold off on going to college. Mikey had decided to wait a year as he was trying to come to terms with how his life would be now that he was confined to a wheelchair and Frank couldn’t bring himself to leave Mikey behind. That is what had started this whole thing in Frank’s opinion. Gerard had decided to leave them behind and look what happened. Frank fully believed that if Gerard had kept his promise, the accident wouldn’t have happened at all. They wouldn’t have argued and the three boys would have probably stayed in, ordering pizza and watching shitty movies all night. Everything would be ok if Gerard hadn’t gone behind their backs and chosen to move on without them.

Now, two years later, so much had changed. Frank and Mikey had just moved into their new apartment in New York. It had taken a small miracle to convince Donna to let Mikey move out of the house, but the boys had been persistent. Mikey was enrolled in the music program at NYU just like he had planned on. They had found a first floor apartment 5 blocks from campus that was reasonably priced and wheelchair friendly. He was starting his first day of classes today and had to be at the welcome center by 9AM to meet the personal assistant provided by the college.

Instead of classes, Frank would be heading to work. He had finally made the choice to forgo college all together and had managed to get a pretty decent job at a local music shop just a few blocks from the school. Frank always knew music was his passion and he wanted to focus on playing and making music, not reading about musical theory. The job at the shop allowed him to make contacts and get discounts on equipment and since it always closed by 5, Frank still had plenty of free time to book gigs.

Frank walked along as Mikey pushed his chair over the uneven sidewalks. Most people just moved out of their way so the boys didn’t have to worry about weaving around others. Mikey had said that was one good thing about being in wheelchair; even in New York, people just got out of your way without you asking.

“So, when we get there remember to give the PA my number so they can call if you need me for anything. I’m not that far and I can be here in 15 minutes.”

Mikey stopped moving and looked up at Frank. “Dude, chill out. Stop acting like a mother hen. I’ll be fine. I won’t keel over or fall apart just because you leave me for a few hours.”

Frank could only sigh. He had to admit, he was worried about leaving Mikey with someone else for the first time in ages. It made him nervous to think that something might happen to Mikey and he wouldn’t be there to help him.

“Fine, I’ll stop smothering you. But I want to make sure this PA isn’t some creep that will rob you blind once you’re alone with them.”

Mikey just huffed and continued on his way. They entered the NYU courtyard and saw the welcome center just up ahead. As they approached, a pretty brown haired girl with an ID hanging from a lanyard around her neck stood up from a bench and walked towards them.

“Hi, you must be Mikey.” She stuck her hand out and smiled warmly. “I’m Kristin. I’ll be your PA for this semester.”

Mikey flashed a huge smile and shook her hand lightly. He turned his head to look at Frank.
“I think it is alright if you leave now, I don’t think she is a creep waiting to rob me blind.” The amusement in his voice was pretty clear and Frank just wanted to smack the smug smirk off his face.

“Alright, fine smartass, I’m gone. But I know you’ll miss me!” Frank leans down and plants a quick kiss on Mikey’s cheek. “I’ll be here at 4 to walk you home.”

As he walks away, Frank hears Kristin ask “Is that your boyfriend?” He can hear Mikey’s howling laughter echoing through the courtyard. “He wishes” was the last thing Frank heard before he turned the corner and stepped out onto the public sidewalk.

Frank chuckled to himself. That was one more thing that had changed. Frank had finally come to terms with the fact that he was not exactly straight. It was something he always suspected, but never really knew for sure. He had always dated girls, so he had no frame of reference. It was only after a chance encounter with an extremely attractive blonde guy in the hospitals dining area (and the subsequent make out session) that Frank realized that his gate swung both ways. When he rushed back to Mikey’s room to tell him what had happened, all Mikey said was “Finally! Mom, you owe me $20!”

Frank got to the music store in plenty of time to start his shift. The work was easy for Frank: ring up sales, answer questions about various instruments, help people sign up for private lessons, stock shelves…it was mindless work and Frank often found his mind wandering to other things. He thought quite a bit about what life would be like if there had been no accident. What would it be like if they had stuck to the plan and all came to the city together? Where would they be now?

Frank also though a lot about his feelings towards Gerard before the accident. He wondered about all the times he had cuddled up with Gerard when he was upset. All of the hand holding and lighthearted wrestling matches. The late night phone calls when they couldn’t sleep. Had these things meant more than just two friends being close? Had Gerard thought Frank liked him? Did Gerard like Frank? While it was true that Frank did these things with both Way brothers, he did seem to find himself drawn more to Gerard when it came to that kind of stuff. Frank had always though Gerard was beautiful. Where Mikey was long, lean and angular, Gerard was shorter and rounder, even feminine in some ways.

These thoughts drove Frank crazy. He reminded himself that however he felt before the accident no longer mattered. Now, Frank hated Gerard with a passion. Gerard had nearly killed his own brother by being stupid and then abandoned his family when they needed him most. And he didn’t just abandon Donna and Mikey. He had left Frank behind as well. The betrayal Frank felt coursing through his veins made him sick. He knew that it was slightly irrational to be so angry, but he couldn’t help himself. He just wanted to make Gerard suffer as much as Mikey had. He wanted Gerard to know what it was like to have your life change forever against your will.

The sound of the door chime roused Frank from his thoughts and he stood up to walk towards the counter. He could see a man standing there, his chin length black hair was wind-blown and he had on a black t-shirt and black skinny jeans that made his ass look phenomenal. Frank hoped he looked as good from the front as he did from back.

Frank cleared his through as he stepped behind the counter. “Hello there, what can I………”

Frank froze.

Standing there, with his huge golden hazel eyes wide open with shock, stood the very person that had been invading Frank’s thoughts all day.

Gerard.

Mother-fucking Gerard Way.

“FUCK!”

Notes

So here is Chapter 2 - this should be the last chapter full of back story, but I felt like it was important to get out so the next chapters don't sound completely out of context.

Hoping to go for a more first person view point from here on out.

Chapter 2 title inspiration - frnkiero andthe cellabration - "Tragician"