A Broken Heart Is Blind

When I woke up I felt like shit; my eyes stung from all my crying and my wrist burned from being torn apart and put back together all within the same night. Earlier I had woken up in Sarah's arm but she was gone now, as I woke up for the second time. Stretching in bed, I could hear shouting outside the bedroom door. I figured it was going to be a usual thing while I was back home...

“...Sleeping in his room?” Gerard's voice demanded sounding more angry than I think I'd ever heard before.

“He's my friend. And when people are shit to them, good friends comfort them. Besides. What do you care. You have a girlfriend.” Sarah countered defiantly.

“Yeah and you have a boyfriend.” Gerard sneered.

“Yes I do. So it's obvious I wouldn't be doing anything with Frank. Glad we cleared things up.” She whipped back at him, her tone making me want to laugh. Gerard had no come back, and before I could process it, I saw my bedroom door open with Sarah walking through it. She held a cup of steaming coffee in her hands.

“Oh! Good. You're up.” She greeted, a warm smile on her face. “Here. I made you some coffee.” She went on, walking to me and handing me the coffee. I smiled gratefully up at her.

“So I have to go hangout with Dylan. He's picking me up and we're going to try and get in some last minute Christmas shopping. I'd invite you but it's like a weird date thing.” Sarah continued talking a mile a minute, “Remember you have to clean your bandage! Oh! And I put in a prescription at the pharmacy that your doctor ordered for pain medication. They called earlier and said the meds should be ready to be picked up around noon. You can do that right? Just use Mom's insurance card to pay. I left it on my nightstand in my bedroom. I'm sorry I'm leaving, but I should be back around four and we can do something then. Okay? How are you feeling this morning?”

Once she was finally finished, I could only blink at her trying to absorb all this information mere minutes after waking up. Sarah giggled, ruffling up my already messy bed hair. I grumbled swatting her hand away.

“I'm okay.” I finally answered, “My wrist is just sore, I guess.” Sarah nodded, sitting down beside me, her smile falling and face sobering up.

“I'm sorry, honey. You're prescription should be ready in like...” She offered, pausing to look at her wrist watch, “two hours.” I sighed but nodded.

“Thanks Sarah.” I mumbled after a pause in noise.

“For what?” She wondered, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“For everything. Saving my ass. Helping me with all this...I dunno. Just everything.” I muttered out awkwardly. Sarah smiled gently, giving me that motherly smile.

“Of course, Frank. That's what friends are for anyways...But we still have to talk tonight about everything.” She warned. I groaned, forgetting all about explaining myself.

“Alright, alright.” I waved off, sipping my burning hot coffee.

“Great. Well, I'm leaving now. You be good.” She teased, yet seriously all at the same time. I chuckled and nodded my head, shooing my hand in a gesture for her to get going.

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun Sarah. I'm just going to rest.” I shrugged. Sarah nodded, getting up off the bed. Bending down she peaked my cheek, taking me by surprise.

“Bye, Frank.” She smiled then swiftly left. Once she was gone, I lied back down with a sigh. So much sighing in such little time.

For a while I simply entertained the thought of perhaps calling up Hambone. Or Neil. Hell even Bob. Really I hadn't talked to Bob since the night I graduated. At that wasn't very long, just maybe an hour. I felt bad for it too because I promised we'd keep in touch, but after the whole break up with Gerard, I seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. But it didn't feel like a good time to call Bob up...Like 'Oh hey, Bob! Wanna hangout? I don't really want to be home right now after a night of almost killing myself by cutting because I saw Gerard, you know my ex-boyfriend? Yeah, that one. Well, he hates me now and I hate myself too...So anyways...Wanna chill?' yeah, I don't think so.

I didn't want to talk with Hambone either, though. Really I just didn't seem to be in the mood to socialize with anyone but Sarah or maybe Matt. So after about an hour of lying in bed, debating on what to do, I decided to start with a shower and go from there. Getting out of bed, however, I was placed with a new problem...was Gerard home or not? And if he was, was he around the house or in his room? Such a sticky situation. Pacing the room for about a good fifteen minuted I took a deep breath, mustered the balls up, and walked out the bedroom. Looking around the upstairs living room, I saw no one insight and made a run for the bathroom. Once safe inside the confinement of the small restroom, I striped and took a long needed shower. It was a bitch of a process, though, being careful of my bandage and all. I tried my best not to get it wet, but figuring I was just going to have to change it anyways, I gave up towards the end. Stepping out, eventually, into the now foggy room, I wrapped a secure towel around my waist and ran back to my room to dress. Throwing on a pair of jeans, a black tee-shirt, and a warm sweater; I re-wrapped my bandage with a dry one and some ointment. Motherfucker stung and I couldn't help but whimper to myself. After that ordeal was over, though, I figured I could go grab a coffee at Starbucks then pick up my prescription Sarah talked about earlier. Once dressed and ready to go with Susan's insurance card in my pocket, I braved another round of testing fate, and left my room towards downstairs. The house was quite so that was a good sign. God I hated myself how much I prayed to the Lord I didn't run into Gerard, yet at the same time, deep down inside I knew I actually wanted to. Making my way into the kitchen, I spotted Matt at the breakfast table, hunched over a bowl of cheerio's and his cell phone mere inches from his nose. Chuckling to myself, it comforted me to know somethings never changed.

“What are you laughing at?” Matt wondered at the sound of my appearance.

“Just that your still glued to your phone after all this time.” I shrugged lightly.

“Ha-ha.” He mocked with still a happy nature to him. I smirked and decided to sit with him for a moment before I left to get coffee.

“So. What're your plans for the day, Frank?” Matt pressed, over a mouthful of cereal.

“Uhm...dunno. Go get coffee?” I answered, absentmindedly tugging at the sleeves of my sweater. I couldn't tell him I was going to pick up a prescription cause then he would ask what for. And I couldn't tell him it was a Vicodin. He'd make assumptions. Like I was a drug addict or I got hurt. And I did. But I couldn't explain to him how I was hurt. The whole thing was just a bad idea.

“That sounds boring.” He commented, not noticing my inner turmoil, “Me and my girlfriend Penelope are going to an ice skating rink this afternoon if you wanna join?”

“Thanks, Matt. Really. But I don't feel like being a third wheel for high schooler's.” I chuckled light-heatedly.

“You wouldn't be!” He insisted, “Plus, if you really wanted to I could get a friend....?”

“No, no that's okay. Thanks though Matte. Really. It's nice of you.” I shook my head.

“Alright.” Matt drew out, “I tired.”

“You did. Thank you.” I smiled softly, as Matt got up from his seat, dumping his bowl of wasted milk into the sink. “...So...Uh, where is...everyone?” I asked after a pause, trying to phrase my
question without sounding obvious.

“Gerard's at Lindsey.” He replied nonchalantly, but at the same time a smirk played on his stupid smug face. I rolled my eyes.

“What about everyone else?” I pressed.

“Mom's Christmas shopping...And I think David's at work.” Matt sighed. I nodded.

“Okay. I'm going to go then. Have fun with your girlfriend.” I offered, standing up.

“Yeah. If you do decide to join us, just text me. Okay? Cause I'll probably be gone when you get back.” Matt pressed one last time, throwing me a serious look. I lifted one weak half of my lips up in a futile attempt to smile. For a second the offer seemed tempting.

“Will do.” I murmured, then left the kitchen without another word. The obvious concern was touching. Matt was a good kid, I decided, even if he had given me a hard time in the spring. And that was only because he cared about his brother. Honestly, I wished I had a brother and sister to care about me as much as Sarah and Matt did for Gerard. He was lucky to have them. Me, well, I was just alone.

With this morbid thought, I left the house quietly, patting my pockets to double check that I still had my wallet and keys. Outside it was cold, colder with the wind blowing harshly around the word. Hugging my sweater close to my body, I climbed into my car I had left in Jersey. The drive wasn't long and I was in no rush. I had about an hour to kill at Starbucks before my medication would be ready at the pharmacy. The roads were busy with traffic with busy people running about, either trying to finish their holiday shopping or to leave town. Taking this into account I decided to just take surface streets. It took me longer, but like I said. I was in no rush like everyone else in the world appeared to be.

Once I actually got to Starbucks, though it was nice and cozy inside. I ordered my large cup of coffee from the overly happy barista that really looked like they just wanted to shoot themselves. I tried to be extra nice, knowing how that felt. Taking a seat in the corner of the coffee shop, I sipped my drink merely observing people around me. Reading books, surfing the web with the Starbucks free Wifi, taking or texting on their cell phones. Living in their own little world. I wondered if they were actually happy. Or if they were dreading the holidays like I was, to be spent over an awkward Christmas diner, filled with forced conversation and unwanted hugs. To pretend like you love the gifts you'd received and convince the giver that you really did like them. I hoped they were happy though. I hoped they had someone to go home to, a cheery family with traditions like recipes and games. I hoped they could have what I couldn't. Someone at least deserved to have that.

Looking around I saw a few good looking men, but I never took a second glance. I just couldn't bring my self to try and even attempt to do such a thing. I always found Gerard in them. Yet at the same time, Gerard was so unique it was silly to believe. I honestly think I was just torturing myself. I'd see Gerard's cute pixie nose and my heart would clench. Or his long black hair, which was common, but it still made me see him. And even if they had a slightly feminine giggle, it just about brought me to tears. Rubbing my hands over my face, I gave an exasperated sigh. Death seemed like a great present for Christmas, but I had a feeling no one would give it to me, let alone wrapped under the tree. Laughing darkly to myself, I thought of a gun wrapped under the tree, or a noose, or a box of blades. Subconsciously, I fluttered my fingers down to brush them over my bandaged wrist, and my chuckling ceased. It wasn't funny, not really. Not at all. I had to get over Gerard. But it was so Goddamned hard. And being back home didn't help, merely seeing him ...let alone with Lindsey...

Heaving another long loud sigh, my eyes flickered over to the clock on the wall. It was noon. Well, it was time to head to the pharmacy. Getting one last refill, I left the warm cozy cafe and back out into the cold harsh wintered world. Quickly I moved downtown, passing houses roofs covered in snow, some lawns sporting snowmen in their front lawns. I tired to smile at the thought of little kids running around having fun and rolling balls of snow together to form a snowman, but it only made me sad for some reason. It made me yearn to be young again. Oblivious to growing up and dealing with heartbreak and suicidal tendencies. Dealing with shit parents who didn't care about you and dealing with finding a career at eighteen...well now nineteen that I would have to live with for the rest of my life. Dealing with losing friends. Dealing with being alone. Dealing with hating yourself and being a shit person. All those things you never even knew existed when building a snowman with friends during the holidays. Lucky fuckers.

With such lovely thoughts in my head, I arrived at the pharmacy. I had to wait in a mildly long line mostly filled with older people waiting for their own prescriptions. That or parents waiting to pick up a script for their sick kid with the winter stomach flu. But not me. No. I was coming to get Vicodin for my healing slit wrist. Once I'd gotten and paid for the meds with Susan's insurance card, I left right away. All the sick old people were making me uncomfortable with their insistent coughing and sniffling. Jumping into my car, I cranked the heater, along with the Misfits CD I had in the stereo. I just wanted to get home, self medicate and sleep until Sarah got home. Glancing at the car dash radio, I saw it was now a little over one in the afternoon. Sarah said she'd get home around four? I think. So I only had like three hours to kill. I could take a three hour nap, easy...Idly I drove home, not necessarily paying attention, yet paying attention at the same time. Y'know when you're driving but you can't remember how you got there, per say? That's what I felt while I climbed out of my car, after gathering my paper bag of meds and half-empty lukewarm coffee.

Leaving the warm car, I could see my puffs of breath even in the broad day light. Fuck, Jersey in the winter time. Seriously. Fuck it. I was freezing my balls off. Glancing around, I noticed an unfamiliar car in the drive way. Odd. Shrugging it off, I merely shoved my keys in the front door and walked inside, grateful for the heat. Toeing off my shoes, I dropped my wallet and keys onto the table by the front door. At first in my own haze of thought I heard nothing, but too lost in my mind...yet then subtly noises began to break through the barrier of realization. I heard a noise I never waned to hear in my whole life. Loud sexual moaning. Gerard's loud sexual moaning. But it wasn't caused from me. I was downstairs and it was coming from upstairs. Mingled with a woman's moaning. Lindsey's. Once the realization hit, I thought I was honestly going to throw up all my coffee. I could feel the unsettling bubbling of stomach acid gurgle. I hadn't eaten all day or I probably would have. Running to the kitchen I dry heaved over the sink. Gerard was having sex with Lindsey. Gerard was having sex with Lindsey. Gerard was having sex with Lindsey. Over and over and over this processed in my mind like a scratch on a vinyl record. God really wanted to fuck with me, I was convinced of it. I couldn't have walked in when they were done? Fuck me. While I was hunched over the kitchen sink, I could hear their moaning volume increase...a shout on both ends, then nothing. Finally. Spitting one last time, I then stood up straight, wiping the back of my arm across my mouth. Sighing raggedly, I grabbed myself a glass of water. Sipping the water gingerly, I leaned against the counter top. My head was dizzy and spinning with heart ache and despair. I felt tears prick my eyes...

“...Frank?...I uh? Didn't know you where here?” Lindsey's voice called, making me jump. My eyes darted immediately to where she stood. Again I thought I was going to be sick. There in the door way, Lindsey stood, blushing madly wearing only a long night shirt of Gerard's. She was tugging at the hem, trying to make the shirt cover more than just the top of her thighs. I could only stare at her, blinking back my tears.

“Oh.” I coughed, my voice gruff.

“I'll, uh...just-” She began inching backwards.

“No!” I cut her off, finally finding my wits, “Stay. I was leaving anyways.” I managed to leer cooly. I knew I was being an ass. Lindsey didn't know I was home. She really hadn't done anything wrong, but suddenly my depression flickered over to rage. Lindsey froze.

“Uhm. Only if you say so...” She trailed off, still tugging uncomfortably at the hem of Gerard's shirt, brown eyes cast down.

“I insist.” I mumbled, pushing back off the counter and shoving past her towards the stairs in a blink of an eye. Before I began to climb the steps, however, I snatched the bag of medication, I surely intended to take to forget everything for several hours. If I couldn't cut, since Sarah had flushed my blades that morning; I'd figured out while dressing, I'd get high. Stomping up the stairs, I ground my teeth together, wanting to scream and pull my hair out. I couldn't even do that though, because I wasn't fucking alone in the fucking house. Approaching the landing, I took a right towards my bedroom, passing the open bathroom door, I didn't even notice at first glance.

“Lindsey?” I heard Gerard ask out. Clenching my jaw, I spun around on my heel, back tracking towards the bathroom.

“No. Frank.” I sneered. Gerard was standing by the bathroom sink, only in his boxers. I would have blushed if I hadn't been so fucking furious. Gerard's face went from confused; eyebrows nit and mouth puckered, to embarrassed; cheeks reddening and eyes wide. It was the first time
I'd seen his eyes since I'd gotten back from Ohio. But they didn't feel like home then. They felt like a home I had been kicked out of to only find it later occupied by another.

“Oh...sorry.” He mumbled, head bowed, trying to ignore me then. That only made me madder though. Puffing out my cheeks and taking in a brave inhalation, I stepped forward.

“No, no. I don't want a fucking apology.” I growled, obviously not fine. Gerard lifted his head, eyebrows re-knitting only in anger that time.

“What's wrong with you?” He muttered, not brave enough to even yell at me.

“Fucking you!” I screamed, stepping closer to him, shoving his bare shoulder.

“I didn't fucking do shit!” He yelled back, shoving me as well.

“Of all people to go out with you chose Lindsey!” I blew up, throwing my hands up in the air.

“What's wrong with Lindsey? She's actually nice to me! She respects me! Better than you!” He fought back, taking a defensive step forward.

“You told me you didn't like her! When Sarah tried to get you two to date! You lied!” I fumed, face growing hot with inexplicable anger.

“Then I fucking lied! OKAY?! Is that what you want to hear?!” Gerard bellowed. I shoved him back again, in a moment of pure hurt and livid anger. Gerard staggered back but caught himself.

“Fuck you Gerard. Grow up.” I spit, turning back away and practically running to my room.

“ME? YOU FUCKING GROW UP!” Gerard shouted back, just before I could slam the door behind me. Throwing myself onto my bed, I shoved my face into a pillow and screamed too angry to even cry. God, that was not how I planned at handling myself. Infuriated with myself, with the shit situation, with fucking Gerard and Gerard fucking Lindsey, I sat up in bed in a haste. Shakily I opened the Vicodin pill bottle, jostling four tables into the palm of my hands. The recommended dose was one. Two for extreme pain. Well, I was in extreme pain, more than I thought was humanly possible. At least that what I told myself, reassuring myself as I dry swallowed back the narcotics. Two for extreme pain. Three for unbearable pain. Four for heartbreak. Cause I figured that was the worst amount of pain a person could feel.

*****

I hated myself more than anyone could comprehend. Fucking hated myself. I wished I could be nice to Frank when I was around him. I did. But for some reason whenever I was around him I was a complete dick, and I knew it. I acknowledged this. But being around him made me so angry, hearing him after all this time, smelling him even from across the room. I thought I was getting over him with being with Lindsey, yet the second he walked through the door those damned butterflies erupted within my stomach, giving me heartburn and making me head dizzy. I tried to focus on Lindsey, ignore Frank. It wasn't working out very well as you could see. Today, I had gone straight over to Lindsey's having her pick me up before Frank woke up. Well after I'd seen Sarah walk out of his bedroom that morning. Which pissed me off to no end, although I didn't necessarily have the right. Frank wasn't mine anymore. But Sarah should have known better...So I had to get out of the house but around noon Lindsey and I had gone back over to the house. One thing lead to another and we'd slept together. I mean we were dating it wasn't a big deal. But Frank had come home from where ever he'd gone and must have seen Lindsey come down in just my shirt. Fuck me. I only hoped he hadn't heard us... then again he seemed pretty pissed at me, as we'd had a little row when he came upstairs to find me in my underwear in the bathroom. After he'd stomped back to his bedroom, Lindsey had come back up as well, seeming more than embarrassed. I felt bad for her. She probably was more than intimidated. I would too if my lovers ex showed up right after we'd had sex. I tried to reassure her everything was fine. We went back into my room with the two cups of coffee Lindsey had gone downstairs in the first place to make. We listened to some Carpenters vinyls while cuddling in bed for awhile. We shared sweet kisses, tangling our legs together.

It was nice. But I couldn't help but feel guilty. I wasn't using Lindsey. I honestly wasn't...I loved her. I did. But if I was being truthful, it was evident I wasn't in love with her. More like a friendly love. I loved her laugh, I loved how she made me laugh. I loved the sound of her soft voice. I loved how she could make me smile when I wanted to cry. I loved that she painted like I did and that we shared the same interests...But we hadn't even said 'I love you' to each other yet. I was afraid that if I did I would be lying. And having Frank back home, it just confirmed to me more that I would be. I didn't feel around Lindsey like I did around Frank. I didn't get light-headed, my heart didn't thump in my chest, my stomach didn't ache. But most of all, I didn't feel like I could see.

With Frank around I felt like I could actually see again for the first time in ten years. I felt more alive than ever. Perhaps that's why I'd gone back to using my sunglasses when I broke up with Frank. Because I couldn't see again. I'd gone blind for the second time in my life. People say that love is blind, but honestly to me, I felt like love gave people the power to see more clearer than ever. You appreciate life more. You see just how much sweeter time is, how precious it is. You see that you're not just a finite void in space, that will soon become dust one day. That in fact you can be the whole world to someone. And without love like that, everyone's just blind. Not just me. Love lets people have compassion and passion all together. To have empathy for someone. And maybe it's not just romantic love. The unconditional love of a parent and the love of a friend. But personally, I think romantic love has a special power. Perhaps because it's not an everyday love you can give to just any old person. You have to find the right soul to receive and give that specific brand of love to. And that's what make people see clearly. To see that you're not alone in your feelings, your thoughts and fears. To feel such overpowering sensations of passion and purity equals in the sight of life...And I had already found my sight of seeing in a loved one. Frank.

I thought it over and over in my head, once Lindsey left around three in the afternoon. Perhaps if I had met Lindsey first, things could have been different. Maybe not. I will never know. But all I did know was that it wasn't fair to date her if I didn't honestly feel romanticly involved with her. I tried, I really did. And that's when I realized too, that you can't force love. It's there or it isn't. I was so completely conflicted with this revelation, however. I didn't know what to do. How could I break up with Lindsey after all she'd done for me? She'd pulled me from my crazy club scene, even if I was still abusing the drugs and alcohol. She'd still lessened the blows. She made me smile in months. She made me feel happy again. She made me not want to die every second. But then there was Frank. I still loved him. And I had to do something about it. But I knew he hated me. I could tell by the fight we'd had earlier that day. And I hated myself too. So what to do?

I was ripping myself apart, within the space of my bed room. I refused to come out for dinner. I couldn't be around Frank to allow him to persuade my train of thoughts. Frustrated, I got off my bed and went into the bathroom to pop a percocet, to calm my restless nerves. Something was building and I could feel it. Something was going to happen, albeit bad or good, or perhaps even both. Damn Frank for coming home. I had been doing just fine in my oblivion that I didn't still love him. Lindsey was around enough to distract me from thoughts of him. That and the drugs. But again, it wasn't right to use her like that, even in a friendship way. Using people at all was wrong. And I found out I could never be content, while dating Lindsey. This made me cry. I couldn't give her up and be alone. I was a selfish bastard. I knew it. I took credit for this. Lost in my whirlwind of thoughts, I barely even heard the knock coming from my bedroom. If was soft and subtle at first, but gently grew louder, breaking into my subconscious.

“Yeah. Who is it?” I called my voice too tired to yell.

“...Um, it's Frank...Can I come in?” His deep familiar voice sounded from behind my bedroom door. Tensing in my bed, my heart immediately started hammering. Should I say yes? No? Dammit.

“Uh...yeah, come in.” I decided apprehensively, siting up on the edge of the bed. Timidly the creaking of the door being opened sounded in my ears. Turning my head to the noise, I waited patiently for a response.

“C-can I have a word with you, Gerard?” Frank asked, his voice nervous and too high. I nodded keeping a blank face.

“Sure. Sit.” I answered, plainly. I heard and felt shuffling of feet against carpet then the gentle dipping in the bed beside me. I froze, my heart pounding harder, than I ever thought possible. On the outside I was cool and collected, while on the inside I was screaming and panicking. Once sitting beside me, I heard Frank sigh. It felt odd, him being so close after so long. I could definitely smell him now, making me want to actually cry, his coffee and cigarettes smell intoxicating my brain, messing with my hormones.

“I...Uh...Just wanted to say sorry.” He began, his voice muffled and low as if he were bowing his head. I knitted my eyebrows together.

“Why?” I pressed in confusion.

“For being a dick earlier.” He elaborated in confession.

“Oh.” I murmured, not knowing what to say to this, as I wasn't expecting it. Not one bit. If I were him, I'd never apologies in a million years. I was the one being a dick...I figured this was a good response, “I was being the dick too though.” Frank chuckled at this, throwing me off guard again.

“Yeah, I guess you were.” He agreed, lightheartedly. I smiled weakly. “But I figured I'd say I was sorry, cause I was out of line. And I don't want you to hate me.”

“What? Why would I hate you?” I insisted, without thinking of my words first, shocked that he actually thought such a thing.

“Don't you though?” He pointed out, dumbfounded.

“W-why would you think that?” I stuttered. Feeling my hands get sweaty, I began to ring them together. A nervous habit.

“...Because you've been ignoring me.” Frank said slowly, sounding awkward and uncomfortable. I blushed in shame.

“I'm sorry.” I mumbled, feeling tears sting behind my sunglasses. “I don't mean to be.” I confessed, my voice lowering just above a whisper, coming out as rough and choked. Frank was silent a moment.

“It's okay.” He finally decided. I shook my head vigorously, lifting it in the direction of his voice.

“No. It's not though. You don't deserve it.” I insisted.

“I'm the one showing up, while you've got your life together...it must be annoying.” He shrugged off, sounding hurt. I had to resist the urge to throw myself on him and hug him. I hated hearing him so sad.

“B-but it's not.” I whimpered, reaching out a hand and placing it over his own hand, that rested on his thigh. I could feel Frank tense a moment, then slowly relax.

We were both silent then, not knowing what to say. I felt so much bubbling on the edge of my tongue, desperately trying to be said. But I couldn't. I choked and swallowed it all back, only holding Frank's warm calloused hand tight within my own. I was afraid if I didn't say anything soon, though he'd decided to leave. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stay forever. Tears welling up in my blind eyes, behind my black sunglasses, I did the most impulsive thing I could have ever done. There was no thought put into it, the moment the idea came into my head, a split second later I did it. Lunging forward, I grabbed Franks face in my hands and crashed my lips onto his.

Notes

I dunno about this fic. Like I've loved writing it but I feel like you guys are disappointed with it and I'm super busy with school and personal life. I really just don't even know.