A Broken Heart Is Blind

Frank was being far too careful with me. I think he was afraid of upsetting me in fear that I would break up with him again or something like that and it made me feel terribly guilty. I mean I knew that the night Frank and I broke up, he was being a complete ass...but so was I. And if we wanted to fix our relationship we had to move away from the past. We had to get over it, but I could practically feel Frank hesitating around me. Like now as we lay together in his bed, I had my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist, but his muscles were tense. As if he relaxed, I would snap and get angry and throw him out. I wouldn't, I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. But I didn't even want to. I wanted him to relax. It was Christmas eve. Frank and I had been staying in bed all week not doing much. We caught each other up on what we'd been doing while not seeing one another. Frank told me how boring school was. How his mother didn't care about him being in Ohio. I felt terrible. My poor Frankie. Both his parents were jerks. He deserved more than the love he'd ever received in his life and it made me sad to think about. Frank had never truly felt unconditional love before we started dating. At least I hoped he felt it when we started dating...I mean he told me he fucked people at high school parties to try and be cool. That he was never really in love with Bob. He had no siblings and not much close relatives. His parents ignored him. He had friends but it wasn't the same. My heart hurt at the thought. I had always felt unconditional love. My parents and Sarah from the start, and then when Matt was born. I never had to look for a lover to feel that sensations. Frank had. I just wanted him to know I still loved him like that.

So while we lay on his bed, I tried to be as honest as I could. I told him about club Red. I told him about Kat and Bert, but left out the drugs. I don't know why but I didn't want him to know. Perhaps because I was still participating in them...But Frank understood. He was far too understanding, in fact. I cried but Frankie just held me, both of us warm under his blankets. It had been a weird, emotional week...month...year. And of course when Mom and David found out Frank and I were back together, they flipped shit. I mean I guess they partially expected us getting back together (although Frank and I had no clue), yet at the same time they didn't enjoy this fact. I guess I couldn't blame them though. It had all happened fast and they were worried of a repeat breakup. Which was understandable. I would be concerned too. The family had finally started fixing it's dynamic. Not completely, but still better than the end of April, beginning of May. Plus Mom and David were supposed to get married in the end of June. I don't know how a wedding could survive a breakup, let alone a Frank/Gerard breakup. But we weren't going to breakup. We weren't. Being apart made us realize what idiots both of us were. We'd just have to prove this to everyone in time.

Sarah was hesitant as well. Matt was ecstatic. At least someone was happy for us. And to escape the drama of everyone's opinion of our relationship, Frankie and I found solace together in each others rooms. I didn't mind one bit. I was just happy to finally be in his arms again. Re-remember his smell and the sound of his voice. Sighing softly as a pause in conversation grew into silence, I nuzzled my nose into Frank's soft tee-shirt.

“Frankie.” I mumbled, lips moving against the cotton fabric. Frank hummed back as a response.

“What are you afraid of?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper.

“What do you mean?” His voice murmured back, after tensing a moment at the question. I sat up propping myself on an elbow and rested my head in the palm of my hand.

“I mean...I can feel you...your tense and I don't know why. You've been distant but close. Did I do something wrong?” I struggled out, trying to phrase my words correctly.

“No! No, you haven't done anything wrong. Not at all...I...I don't know. I'm...I guess I'm just trying to give you space. Since you just broke up with Lindsey and all. I don't want to push you.” He started, going back and forth between talking slow and then talking really fast. I sighed, raising my hand to his face before talking. Caressing his jaw, I felt the soft prickly facial hair beneath my fingertips. Every time I touched his face, his body, any part of him I felt a great wave of relief. I started getting nervous before Frank and I got back together, that I was forgetting the planes of his face. The curves and hills of his body. That the memories within my fingertips were fading into dust, on a shelf long forgotten, locked tight up and away in a basement. But now, when I touched him it was like a jolt of remembrance; a flash back of sensations. Moving my fingers around his cheek and jaw, down to his neck and back up, I felt Frank shiver. Smirking at his reaction, I leaned down, offering a soft push of lips onto the jugular of his neck.

“Frankie.” I finally replied, my lips moving against his warm skin. “That's ridiculous. If I needed space, why would I be here? Why would I have broken up with Lindsey, if I didn't want you.” I hummed. I could feel Frank swallow beneath the thin sensitive skin of my lips.

“I don't know.” He manged to breath out. “...I'm afraid of upsetting you.”

“Don't be. You used to upset me all the time.” I pointed out after a sigh, resting my head back down on his chest. Frank threaded his fingers into my long hair. “If we're going to make it this time, we have to be honest with each other. More trusting and understanding.”

“ O-Okay.” He stammered, his heart erratic under his chest. I sighed again, louder and heavier, while aggressively throwing myself into a sitting position.

“Then stop being so nervous around me!” I exclaimed. Frank exhaled out his nose, sitting up as well and taking my hands into his. I relaxed instantly feeling bad about my outburst.

“I'm sorry.” I mumbled, bowing my head.

“Don't be.” He breathed, nuzzling his face into shoulder. I smiled softly, leaning my head on his.

“I get you're frustrated. And I'm sorry too...I-I just am afraid. I'm nervous...It's true. But only because I love you so much. I don't wan to hurt you. Again.” He confessed. Turing my head to the side, I pecked his temple.

“I understand. But the only way you'll hurt me is if you leave again.” I pointed out. Frank laughed out a gust of wind onto my neck.

“Yeah, that's not going to happen.” He proclaimed. I laughed back, a smirk on my face.

“Then there's nothing to worry about, Frankie.” I stated. Frank lifted him head, cupping my face in his warm calloused palms. I missed the texture of his hands, more that I thought possible. Leaning into the touch, I closed my eyes and hummed.

“Do you remember what we were doing last Christmas Eve?” I mused, my voice low and hushed, but tired too. Frank chuckled.

“How could I forget.” He went on. I smirked widely, my teeth breaking through.

“That was one of the best nights of my life.” I admitted.

“One?” He teased, making me giggle.

“Yeah. You're not that perfect.” I teased right back, my head still resting in Frank's hand.

“Do you need me to remind you?” He suggested, but his voice wasn't serious. I lifted my head up, about to call his bluff. Frank hadn't touched me in the week we'd been back together. Not since the night we'd made love that first night, after being apart for so long. If our kisses got heated and turned into a make out session, he'd stop and think of some else for us to do. I was getting frustrated. I knew Frank wanted to. When did Frank ever not want to? He was just, like he'd just admitted, nervous and afraid of pushing me.

“Why don't you?” I purred, moving to straddle his lap. Frank held my hips on reflex but laughed nervously, the sound unsettling.

“Gerard.” He squeaked. He didn't even call me Gee. “You..”

“Frankie!” I cut him off, my voice obviously frustrated but trying to stay warm and calm at the same time. “Frankie.” I repeated with an exhalation, my voice softer that time, “I told you not to be nervous. What's wrong?” Frank sighed, rubbing the pad of his thumbs against the part of my hips skin that was exposed.

“Nothings wrong.” He insisted.

“Then why are you always stopping this. You used to jump at the opportunity.” I pointed out with a sad chuckle. Frank lifted a hand that wasn't on my hip to cradle my cheek.

“I don't want you to realize that this is a mistake.” He chocked out, his voice cracking. The sound made my heart clench.

“That's stupid, Frank.” I whispered, leaning in to speak in his ear. “I love you. Nothing will change my mind about that. It's impossible.” I vowed, kissing up his neck to his bearded jaw and cheek, then finally placing my lips on his soft yet chapped lips. Frank exhaled shakily.

“You changed your mind the last time about loving Lindsey.” He argued weakly, breaking the embrace I was enjoying.

“Frank.” I warned sternly, feeling like I was talking to a brick wall, “That's not at all what happened. I want you to understand that. I never loved Lindsey. Not like that. I already knew I loved you before we had sex. You got that?” I could feel Frank nod slowly.

“Good.” I smiled gently, kissing his lips again, him finally kissing back. “You said you just wanted to make me happy?” I asked against his mouth. Again I felt him nod, “Well, what would make me happy right now would be if you made love to me. If I knew a year ago, I'd be with you, no matter how, and we were making love again, like my first time...I would have cried from happiness.” Frank laughed a breathy laugh, a genuine laugh.

“If that's what would make you happy.” He said, his voice quiet.

“Only if it would make you happy, too though.” I pointed out.

“Of course it would make me happy. I always want you, Gee. You should never have to doubt that.” He murmured, lips brushing mine.

I smirked, my heart swelling and swooping all at once. Frank initiated the kiss that time, making my heart soar. It was sweet and languid, but desperate and needy at the same time. Are actions were slow, not frantic and scared like the last time, because we knew we'd still be together afterwords. We didn't have to be scared. Frank undressed me, his touch like an electric shock to my senses, while I made whinny noises in the back of my throat. I undressed him in a similar fashion; slow and erotic. We kissed like lovers should. With pure passion and love exchanged within one another. Touches were gentle and hot and heated. Both of us made noises that sounded like an old sweet song to me. Like listening to an old record I'd forgotten I had. My favorite album, I never got tired of listening to. And even though it had been a while, I still knew all the lyrics. They were embedded into the back of my brain, like any good song. We moved together in bed, like we were dancing. We knew each other so well, we knew when to transition into the next step, harmonizing the tempo and beat. Frank knew me better than myself almost. And I knew Frank just the same. We knew what made each other tick, both in and out of bed, the feeling indescribable. I never wanted the moment to end. But of course it eventually did, both of us climaxing together, ending with us panting and sweaty in each others arms. And I felt loved. The way you should after making love. I had missed the sensation, and feeling it once again I knew I was back home.

Frank and I slept like that, content and warm in each others embrace. The next morning, I woke up snuggling closer to Franks bare chest groaning a bit from heavy sleep. Frank was already awake, stroking my spine. Tilting my head up, I sighed, pecking his chest close to his nipple. Frank leaned down, pecking the crown of my head. A silent exchange of 'good morning's'.

“Hey there, beautiful.” His groggy morning voice called out to me. His morning voice was one of the sexiest noises I'd ever heard. Along with him orgasming and moaning and whining. But I had to shake the thought or I'd get morning wood.

“Hey.” I replied, a dopy smile on my face. Frank lifted a hand and caressed my cheekbone.

“Merry Christmas.” He giggled. I giggled back, moving out of his touch and burring my face into his neck instead.

“Merry Christmas.” I copied, inhaling Frank's smell of coffee and cigarettes and sex. Fucking perfect. I wish I could bottle the scent.

“I have a gift for you.” He hummed.

“What?” I perked up, shooting my head up. Frank chuckled.

“Yeah. I thought that's what you do on Christmas, no? Exchange gifts?” He teased. I rolled my eyes dramatically.

“Well...yeah. But...I dunno.” I shrugged, “I feel like an ass now. We just got back together a little over a week ago. I hadn't gotten a gift yet.”

“That's okay. You're a gift all in yourself. Trust me.” Frank countered. I rolled my eyes again.

“You always say that.” I groaned. Frank chuckled lightheartedly.

“It's true though. Plus...It's not much of a gift. More like a re-gifting.” He mused, pecking my cheek tenderly.

“What's that supposed to mean?” I demanded. Frank didn't reply, but I felt him shift along with the sound of the top nightstand drawer opening. Grabbing whatever he wanted, Frank then closed the door with a thud and shifted back.

“Here.” He said, taking my hand and dropping something cold and sliver into the palm of my right hand. Furrowing my eyebrows, I plucked the object from my hand. It was a locket. Upon further inspection, it was in fact a heart-shaped locket...Realization then slammed into me like a freight train. It couldn't be? I chucked that sucker, the night we broke up, at him. He couldn't have possible...Lifting my bowed head, my dead eyes stared in disbelief in Frank's direction. He didn't say a word and I of course couldn't see any gesture. Bowing my head back down, with my mouth wide open, I studied the locket closer with my fingertips. Frantically I clicked the locket open and brushed my fingertips along each half the the lockets heart. It was indeed the necklace Frank had gotten me for my birthday! Our named were in braille. Mine on the right, Frank's on the left. Immediately stinging tears welled up in my eyes, as the memories accompanied with the locket flooded my mind. Both good and bad.

“Oh, Gee! Don't cry baby.” Frank flustered, finally saying something and wrapping his arms around me. I sobbed into his chest, my hand clutching the locket and also gripping his bare shoulder. Frank rocked me back and forth, a little too fast for comfort.

“Don't cry, Gee. I'm sorry. You don't have to take it. I just-” He began,

“N-no. I-I lo-ove it.” I blubbered, coughing afterwords.

“Why are you crying then honey. I didn't mean to upset you.” Frank hushed, his voice timid and worried. I sniffled, trying to sit up in his embrace.

“I can't be-believe you still have it.” I shuttered out a breath. Frank cooed sadly, stroking back my hair behind my ear.

“Of course I do. I kept it when you threw it at me.” He laughed nervously. I frowned and sobbed again, covering my face with my free hand.

“I-I w-was s-s-so s-stup-id.” I wailed.

“No! No, no, no. no, no.” Frank chanted, while trying to calm me down. “Baby. Honey. I was stupid. I was a jerk.” I shook my head violently.

“No! I was! I said so many mean things.” I insisted. Frank chuckled, in disbelief.

“Gee. Baby. C'mon. Look at me-” Frank tried but stopped realizing what he said and froze in fear. I froze too, but I wasn't mad. In fact, despite my tears I laughed. A real hysterical laugh.

“I-I c-can't!” I gasped, unable to talk properly.

“Gee! That's not funny! I didn't mean to say that!” Frank demanded, feeling obviously stupid.
That only made me laugh harder, growing into a belly laugh; deep and rumbling.

“Y-yes it is!” I shouted, tears of joy now streaming down my face. It was ridiculous. I was laughing so hard no noise was coming out. And finally I heard Frank begin to chuckle and giggle until his laughs were matching mine. What a sight we must have been, that is if I could have actually seen it. Not after too long, though, our laughs died down into chuckles and sniffles.

“Gerard.” Frank giggled, “That w-wasn't funny, you idiot.”

“Yes it was.” I giggled back, playfully shoving his arm, “Why were you laughing then, huh?” I accused, resting my head back onto his shoulder.

“Because you were laughing.” He insisted, wrapping his arms back around my back. I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see.

“Whatever. It was funny.” I fought stubbornly. Frank huffed out a breath but didn't say anything. Neither did I. We were silent for a moment, until I realized I still had the locket clutched in my hand. I had been holding it for so long it was making my palm sweaty.

“Frankie?” I whispered.

“Hmm?” Frank hummed.

“Will you put the necklace on for me?” I asked, my voice soft and a little somber, despite my laughing fit.

“Of course.” Frank murmured into my hair, unwrapping his arms and having me turn to face him. I tried to smile, but I think it was sad.

“I was a jerk.” I mumbled, not sure if he heard me. Frank sighed heavily. He had.

“Gerard. We could go back and forth all day. You weren't. I don't want you thinking other wise.”

Frank went on, sweeping my hair back and clasping the links of the necklace together. “I was a complete dick. And I want you to understand too, that everything I said wasn't true either. Not one word.” He insisted, gently turning me back around. “You know that right?” I shrugged.

“I think it was true.” I murmured, bowing my head and biting at my cuticle.

“Gerard.” Frank muttered sternly, “C'mon. Listen.” He reiterated, cupping his hands around my face. I sighed quietly, tilting up head up and leaned into his palm. His skin was rough and warm and I found a great deal of comfort in it. “I feel terrible about what I said to you that night. I regret every word, every day.”

“You don't have to.” I whispered, knitting my eyebrows together.

“But I do. I hate myself for what I said.” He went on, his voice firm and sad. I brought my hands over his, rubbing my fingers over his knuckles, “You aren't a burden. You never were. You're beautiful. Baby, I love you. I want you to hear that loud and clear. I love you. I...I only said what I did that night because I was drunk and jealous. I wasn't thinking right. I only said what I did because it was a heat of the moment kind of thing. None of it was true...God, I don't think you'll ever understand just how much I hate myself for it. I was an ass.” Frank continued, his voice beginning to crack. I could feel tears form a wet coat over my eyes.

“So was I though.” I sniffled, my lip trembling, “I said mean things to you to hurt you. I didn't mean them either, though-”

“Gerard, everything you said was true.” Frank argued gently. I shook my head though, “Yes it was, Gee. You don't have to defend me honey. I'm not mad at you for what you said. I remember. I know I was being stupid and irrational. You didn't deserve me accusing you of cheating or me yelling at you, for Christ sake. I was overreacting.”

“But I didn't mean when I said that you deserved to have...to have your parent hate you!” I sobbed, having to pause to not choke on my words, “That was awful of me! And saying that all you were good at was screwing. I know those are all sore subjects for you and I threw them in your face!” I wailed, Frank gathering me in his arms at one point to calm me down.

“Shh.” He cooed, “I know, baby. It's okay. I said I'm not mad.”

“You should be though.” I shuddered, gripping tightly onto his forearms.

“I said way worse things, Gerard and you know it. Unforgivable things.” Frank reminded mournfully. “ I tried to make you feel bad for me leaving. That I felt like I was babysitting you, which wasn't...isn't even how I feel! Not at all. And you'd just been assaulted and I was yelling at you! And Sophie for taking care of you when I couldn't cause I was being a dick...and...God. I'll never, as long as I live, forgive myself...for. Ugh. I don't even want to say it out loud-” He tried to explain, his voice raising and chocking up and breaking in parts where he had to take a breath.

“Then don't.” I fought, “Don't say it. It doesn't matter anymore.”

I already knew what he was going to say. He knew what he was going to say. What he was talking about; when he told me to watch him leave me, but that I couldn't. I would be lying if I said that didn't tare me apart. But like I said. I forgave him and I knew he regretted it. That he didn't mean it. Why bring it up and have us both be miserable about something in the past we couldn't change? Frank sighed though, burring his face in the space between where my neck and shoulder met.

“We were both upset.” I finally said, my voice even but soft and tender, yet a little sad, “We had both been stressed about you leaving for Ohio, for awhile. We'd been fighting for awhile. That night...things just got out of hand...” I tried to reason. Frank chuckled darkly.

“Way out of hand.” He muttered.

“They did.” I agreed, “You were drunk and upset about finding me with Sophie.”

“And you were upset about what Hagevik did.” He added. I nodded, tilting my head down to rest upon Frank's.

“So lets leave it at that. Move on from this. We forgive each other. Cause I forgive you. Do you forgive me?” I asked. Frank rose his head up, nuzzling his nose against my cheek.

“Of course I do. I did the minute you left.” He murmured, making my heart melt into a pile of goo at our feet. While cuddling against one another, so lost in the content moment of being back in each others loving embrace, the knock at the bedroom door made both of us jump.

“I'm not coming in! No way! But you two need to be downstairs in five to open Christmas gifts!” Matt hollered, pounding on the door. I rolled my eyes, while Frank chuckled.

“Yeah! We'll be there!” He yelled and the noise stopped.

“Well, I guess we both better get dressed. I don't think our parents or your siblings would appreciate if we came down naked.” Frank teased, pecking my forehead tenderly, then getting up off the bed to gather clothes for us.

“Yeah, me either.” I smirked, as Frank threw me a shirt and some sweat pants.

“I mean...I wouldn't mind at all but...since it's Christmas...” Frank trialed off cheekily. I shook my head with a smile on my face. I was glad I had my Frankie back.

Once Frank and I were dressed we made our way downstairs, where the rest of the family was. Mom was passing around cups of coffee, as when I sat down on the couch she handed me one. Matt was texting away on his phone, the sound of the clicks filling the air along with cheesy Christmas music. Frank sat beside me, slinging an arm over my shoulder and cuddling me in close. Sarah sat on my other end, wishing both Frank and I a Merry Christmas. I guess David was in the kitchen prepping for breakfast. It all felt very homey and happy. And warm. I felt happy and warm again.

*****

Christmas was a very nice day. Not as nice as I remembered last Christmas with just Frank, but still nice. And I'll admit it was a good feeling, being with family this year around. After exchanging gifts we ate a big breakfast David had made; eggs, pancakes, bacon, toast, hash browns...the works. Then we all had to get ready and look fancy since family was heading over. Dad's family was coming over too, which I was excited about. After all this time, they'd never met Frank. I was actually greatly relieved they would meet Frank and not Lindsey. It just wouldn't have been right...

Although everyone was a little confused, because Mom had already told them about Lindsey. Of course. And of course that made things a tad awkward. But really just about everyone didn't make it a big deal and was glad to meet Frankie. Uncle Aaron was elated with Frank, in fact. They got along great, which made me so happy I could have sung. Uncle Aaron was Dad's twin and they were so much alike, it was the closest to Frank meeting my Dad, as I was ever going to get. So them getting along only reassured me that Dad would have loved Frank. Mom wasn't too sad either with having Dad's family around. I think David helped.

We all ate a big dinner together; ham and baked beans and all that holiday stuff, laughing and drinking like in all those old classic Christmas songs. It was almost weird to think about how unhappy I had been just a few weeks ago. Mom's and Dad's and a little bit of David's family all got along, telling stories while we had the cheesecake Mom made for dessert and the eggnog Grandma Way made. Once it started getting late, though everyone started leaving, giving hugs and kisses. I was almost sad to have them go. I loved my family and I didn't see them enough. When the house was empty with just it's normal members, Frank and I headed back upstairs. Sarah had already left to Dylan's and Matt was going to his girlfriend's. And Mom and David were going to bed, since they'd been preparing for the holiday all morning and cleaning all night. Sighing in a contented sadness, I lay back down onto Frankie's warm bed.

“You okay?” Frank asked. I could hear him taking his shirt off, his voice muffled by the moving fabric. I shrugged.

“Yeah. Christmas was great. I'm just a little sad it's over already.” I confessed honestly. Frank climbed onto the bed, his weight dipping in. Taking me gently into his arms, I snuggled up close while Frank threw the covers over us.

“I know what you mean. But it's going to be okay.” He murmured, kissing my temple sweetly. I closed my eyes and hummed.

“Mm.” I hummed cuddling closer, basking in Frank's warmth. “I'm really glad Uncle Aaron liked you.” I mused, more talking aloud than anything else.

“Yeah. Me too.” He replied quietly.

“He looks just like my Dad did, you know? Like at least from what I remember...unless he like grew a beard or shaved his head or something.” I chuckled.

“Really?”

“Yeah. They were twins. He's just like my Dad too. Probably the closest you'll ever get to meeting him. My Dad that is.” I murmured slowly.

“Well he was great. Really nice and funny.” Frank offered.

“Yup. That was Dad.” I smiled softly. Frank hummed in recognition, stroking my back. We were silent a moment, listening to each other breath for awhile.

“You know...I'm sorry.” I started after a long pause.

“For what?” Frank pressed, sounding curious. I shrugged.

“For my family, like asking where Lindsey was and who you were. About the confusion. I'm sure that was uncomfortable for you.” I sighed.

“It was fine, Gee. Honestly. I am your Mom's soon to be step-son.” He pointed out, trying to make me feel better.

“I know that. But still. I'm sorry.” I insisted, leaning up to peck his cheek.

“Really, it was fine. Your families nice. Better than mine, trust me. You don't want to meet them.
Once you've met my Dad you've met them all.” Frank explained. I nodded, not wanting to argue because, truthfully, I'm sure it was true and I didn't want Frank to feel bad.

“But...uh, about Lindsey.” Frank said after a pause, sounding apprehensive, “What, uh? What did you do with her Christmas gift? If you don't mind me asking...”

“I don't mind, Frankie. You can ask me anything.” I reassured, nuzzling my face to his chest for comfort. I could still feel Frank hesitate while asking about her. Like I would break down and cry or something at the mention of her name. “But, honestly I haven't done anything with it. I got her tickets to some comedy show. I think I might just give them to Matt or something. I don't think it would be fair to give them to her, since we only broke up a few weeks ago. And I don't want them.” I went on.

“Oh.” Was all Frank said. Tilting my head up, I brought a hand to his face and brushed along his bearded jaw.

“Frankie? What's wrong?” I wondered, hoping he wasn't doubting himself again.

“Nothing.” He insisted but his voice was too high to be convincing.

“Frankie.” I repeated, sternly that time, “I'm not upset.”

“...I know.” He finally replied after hesitation. I sighed through my nose.

“Frank, listen. You know yours and Bob's relationship better than I do, but from what I hear and how you talk about it...it seems similar to mine and Lindsey's. I loved her but I wasn't in love...like how you said you felt about Bob. And you talk about him and you don't get upset do you?”

“No. But that's different-”

“How?” I demanded gently, cutting him off because I knew where he was going.

“We didn't just break up.” Frank pointed out dryly.

“Yeah, but you also didn't have an amazing boyfriend you already were in love with, to go back to, like I do.” I teased, trying to make him smile. Moving my finger from his jaw to his lips, I felt no smile to my regret.

“I guess I'm just going to have to prove to you, just how much I still love you.” I huffed, removing my finger and dropping my hand away from Frank's face altogether.

“I know you love me, Gee. I love you too.” He whispered sadly, kissing the top of my head.

“Good. Than don't worry.” I said matter of factually. Frank shook his head slightly against the pillow, making a soft scratching sound with his hair between the sheet.

“You know...speaking of Bob...” Frank went on, obviously changing the subject, “I haven't talked to him since graduation. And that night at the party, the one you met him at, I promised to talk to him more. That we were still friends...but with everything and all the drama that's happened, I haven't said one word to the guy. Him or Hambone or just really anyone and I feel like shit for it.”

“ I know what you mean.” I sighed, “I haven't talked to Ray or Sophie in forever. They probably hate me. Ray had a baby too. His names Nathan.”

“Well why don't you give them a call?” He mused. I shrugged one shoulder.

“I dunno. Because I feel bad and don't know how to start.” I confessed.

“Mm. I guess I know what you mean...Well...why don't we make that our New Years resolution. To get back in touch with our old friends? To get our shit together.” He suggested.

“Yeah, okay.” I chuckled, liking that idea.

“It's a plan.” Frank smiled, his tone light again. Lifting my head up all the way, I planted a firm loving kiss to his lips to seal the deal.

Notes

Sorry for the delay. I've been dealing with a existential crisis. I turned 20 Wednesday and it feels weird not to be a teenager anymore. I can't scare Gerard Way either. Like am an adult you guys and I still feel 12. And I finally got a chance to update since I'm done with all my homework! Love you guys so much. Xoxo G(race)