A Broken Heart Is Blind

“Once I was blind, but now I see...,” funny. I think whoever wrote that song was in love. Had they ever met a handsome devil, mysteriously charming, and hear-breakingly cruel man named Frank Iero? No? I suppose not. That song was written long before he was born. And it was about God's grace. Still... Because even as a blind individual I know what they mean. Being blind, yet simultaneously being able to see, even if it's not a physical sight. The sight of feeling and living. Of loving. Being. Just being. But what happens when your love is taken away? When it crumbles at your feet? Well, I've also heard that, “A broken heart is blind”. It's so true it's not even funny. Now that I've lost my love I can't see any more. I guess it was just an artificial sight to begin with anyways. I should have know better, that I would never truly see with sight again. It was all just an illusion created upon a foundation of chemicals in my brain, classified as love. My stupid chemical romance. I swear love is a drug. It makes you feel warm and happy; like you can fucking fly. And now I was crashing from that high. Along with the fact I was blind, completely, once more. I didn't feel anything. I wasn't living. I was out of love and certainty not “being”. I was the opposite of being. I was nothing....

Okay so back up there a moment...I suppose I technically wasn't out of love. But I certainly wasn't in it. I wasn't preforming the act of love. Sure I still loved Frank with all of my fucking heart and soul. But that doesn't mean squat if you hate them at the same time. And they don't care about you, either. It was a Limbo Love; the suspension of our loves life, caught between living and dying.

God I just wanted our love to die already, but the fucker was holding onto the heart strings of my heart, by a thread. Frank didn't love me anymore. But I still loved him and that's why Love was still in limbo. And I was convinced Frank didn't love me anymore. So why should I? He wasn't talking to me. But then again neither was I...fuck. Just fuck me. I wish I didn't feel so much. I want to die. Or at least murder this damn Limbo Love shit. If I could just cut that thread, Love was holding onto, it could at the very least rest in peace. But I was afraid, I'll admit.
Did I want our Love to die, though? What would become of it's soul? Does Love even have a soul? Was it a righteous and pure love, deserving of Heaven? Or was it just cruel and destructive, deserving to rot in Hell? And if I did, indeed, let Love die...was it possible for it be become resurrected from it's resting place one day? Sucked back from Heaven or Hell and injected back into my heart? Or would it just become a ghost? So many questions without answers. And that's, I think, what left me hanging on. The fact that I didn't know for sure.

Notes

Intro to start with. I'll put up a real chapter soon! <3