Boys will be boys

I felt Gerard lick my bottom lip gently , caressing it and asking for entrance which i gladly granted him, I heard him let out a few prolonged moans which pretty much instantly made me painfully hard, my dick begging for friction, I had never gotten this bad though, i had rather good self control and I've been controlling myself the past few days, was it my raging hormones taking their toll? or my strong desire to make love to Gerard? Something which i was new too, i had never 'made love' before, as most of the sex i used to have was meaningless. I had no idea but all i wanted was for him to touch me, although i knew he didn't want too and i had promised to him earlier we would take it slow, he had never done this before. 'touch me baby' I moaned and without thinking i grabbed his hand and forcefully shoved it down my pants, 'Frank no!' Gerard whined, pulling it back out, but i was so horny, i wanted him so badly. I wasn't thinking straight when suddenly i began to pull at Gerards pants, he let out a scream and kicked me off, i let go and then realised what i had done. 'W-what are you?' Gerard whimpered, backing away from me, tears filling his eyes, I sat up on the bed, holding my head in my hands, i was ashamed. 'I'm so s-sorry Gerard, I...' and before i could finish my sentence i burst out into tears, that's it...i had messed up, Gerard wont love me any more, I always knew i was a failure but i never thought i would go that low, trying to take advantage of the poor boy? Gerard ran into the bathroom and locked the door, i could hear his muffled sobs, I basically tried to rape him, I'm fucking disgusting, who the hell have i become? I'm a monster.

After a while i went to the door quietly and knocked it gently, 'Gerard, I'm so...so sorry, I'm a complete ass hole. i understand if you hate me but please talk, I'm worried sick about you' I sobbed. 'I don't understand Frank, I though y-you l-loved me?' I heard him say, which made my heart ache, the pain of guilt and loss searing through me, ripping me apart. I lowered my head, I'm a fucking idiot. 'I love you...I love you more than i have ever loved someone in my entire fucking existence...I'd fucking die for you Gerard' I said, gritting my teeth, not at Gerard, but at my disgusting self. I suddenly heard the door click open and there stood Gerard, his eyes red and puffy from crying. The guilt hit me harder, 'Then why w-would you d-do that to m-me?' Gerard sobbed. 'I wasn't thinking straight, I knew it was wrong and immoral, but i couldn't help it...Your so fucking beautiful and i just wanted to make love to you, show you how much i love you Gerard...but i know i went about it in a dishonerable way and i am so sorry, so fucking sorry Gerard, I really fucking am'.

Then it hit Gerard, It wasn't the act of what happened that had hurt him the most, what hurt him was that it was someone he loved, someone he has put all of his trust and affection into, someone who knew things about Gerard that nobody else knew...and that's what broke him, there and then, his trust in Frank was beginning to fade slowly, the light was beginning to go out. It wasn't that he didn't love Frank, because he did, with all his heart and soul, he would do anything for Frank, his lover, his other half, but he didn't know if Frank felt the same, lied to him all this time just for sex, he didn't know and he couldn't assume.

'Have you l-lied to me?' Gerard said quietly but sternly, 'No, I would never lie to you' I said, but it was the truth, i would never lie to him, all of my feelings were genuine towards him. 'I love you so so much that it hurts' I added, placing my hand over my heart and beginning to cry again, Gerard looked at me, his big, hazel eyes piercing into me, 'Okay' He sighed, 'Just please understand that i want to take this slowly' He added, before walking to his bed and getting under the covers, I sighed to myself before heading to my bed and sliding under the covers, the covers that held a disgusting secret, tonight i was sleeping alone.

Notes

Hope your enjoying the story!

Anyways, my mom is thinking about getting chickens lol, I love chickens so it would be pretty damn awesome tbh