Shattered

Mikey sighed a sigh of relief login off his computer, he has finally come clean about his addiction over the last 10 years, telling the fans how it is. He didn't want to paint himself as a victim again but he needed to not just be honest with his fans but with himself too, he wasn't well and he needed to admit it and after many months in rehab he fells ready, He feels relieved. He sits back in his hair and pulls out his phone logging into twitter within minuets he is flooded with support as supportive fill up his time-line
@mikeyway We love you Mikey

@mikeyway Were all so proud of you Mikey

Were just some of the tweets from him adoring fans. He smiles to himself he wished he could reply to everyone but that would of taken hours. He needed to stay way from the internet for a while, he had nothing else to say, he had answered everyone questions and didn't feel the need or have the energy to answer any more. Just as he was about to slip his phone back into his pocket he felt it vibrate in his hand, It was a text from Gerard.

So proud of you Mikey
I know that was hard
to do. I love you so
much you know I'm
always here for you
right?
xx

Of course I know that Gerard you moron he thought to himself. He slipped his phone back into his pocket not bothering to reply.

It's been a weeks since he came clean about his addiction and the member of his new band Electric Century had booked some time in the studio to work on a few songs, writing songs had always been very therapeutic it was different to writing MCR songs but it was still therapy but it wasn't writing songs he wanted to do it was touring, playing shows, meeting fans, when he was in the right frame of mind that is what kept him alive it was better than any therapy.

“We should just play one little show” Mikey suggested to his band mates “I think were ready”

But his band mates insisted they weren't ready.

It was almost midnight when the band decided that 12 hours of recording was enough for 1 day
Mikey made his way to his car and sat in the drivers seat he slipped out his phone again readying to log into twitter, maybe to hold another Q&A instead he was surprised to see a text from an old friend

I'm almost offended you
didn't come to me when you
feeling shit buddy, but I want
you to know I’m proud of you.
Your the strongest guy I know
you'll be you old self again.
In the mean time we need to
meet for coffee sometime soon

Pete xoxo

Mikey smiled to himself it was so great to hear from Pete again. He needed to talk to him. Despite it being almost midnight he pressed the green phone on his home screen and placed the phone to his ear waiting for Pete to answer. He waited for only a few seconds hearing the dial tone not sure what to say he just knew he needed to talk to Pete.

“Hay Mikey you okay? I didn't expect to hear from you so soon” Pete said

“Yeah sorry man I know it's late I just.. I guess I needed to talk to you.” Mikey said he bit his lip and stammered

“It.. It means a lot what you said” He said almost breathing a sigh of relief

“Well I mean it man” Pete answered “I was offended that you couldn't talk to me when you were in a dark place like that. No friend of mine should ever feel like ending it” Pete said but instantly regretted it.

“God I'm sorry Mikes” Pete said immediately after “That was distasteful I'm sorry”

But Mikey almost laughed at what he said

“Pete it fine really don't worry about it”

“So what are you doing now” Pete asked

“I... I mean, we just finished recording for the day. I'm just heading home” Mikey answered

“Why don’t you come over for that coffee?” Pete suggested

“It's almost midnight” Mikey protested

“So what.. I mean we'll have to be quiet Meagan and the baby are asleep but we can hang out in the garden I have a bar and a hot tub out there now”

Mikey smiled to himself. That’s so Pete Wentz

“Sure man I'll be there in about half an hour”

Mikey said ending the call and slipping his phone into his pocket.

As Mikey drove down the familiar road to Pete's house it suddenly dawned on him how long it had been since him and Pete properly hung out it was long before the band had split up so much had happened since then.

He arrived at Pete's house and debated weather or not to knock on the door or ring the door bell not wanting to wake Meagan and Saint but before he could do anything the door opened and there stood Pete poking his head round the door

“Come in” He said to Mikey who stepped into his house

“This way bud” Pete whispered to Mikey pointing to the back of the house

They both creped to the house where there was a conservatory with a huge double sofa with a table with two cups of coffee still hot waiting for them. Pete closed the door behind them.

“Take a seat buddy” Pete said to Mikey pointing to the sofa signalling him to sit down

Mikey sat on the couch while Pete quietly shut on door to the conservatory

“The place looks good” Mikey said to Pete admiring the new conservatory

“Thank Mikes” Pete said to Mikey sitting down next to him “It was finally finished about a month ago thank God”

He picked up the two mugs of coffee handing one to Mikey who took it

“Thanks” Mikey said gratefully taking a sip

“Hows the family?” Mikey asked

Pete looked at him and smiled

“Amazing” Pete said

“Just incredible I never thought I could love another kid as much as I love Bronx but it just takes over you, The moment I saw Saint I knew I was going to love him like like I love his brother. And Meagan's a fantastic mother she's a natural”

“I'm happy for you man” Mikey savouring the warmth the coffee was bring his body.

“I had Bronx the weekend just gone. We went to the zoo, He's doing great in school and He loves his brother, I was worried how he was going to react to him but he just wants to play with him. I keep on telling him he's to little to play baseball just yet”

“That’s terrific man, I'm happy for you” Mikey said to Pete taking another sip of coffee

“And the band? Pat, Andy, Joe how it they doing?”

“Good we're all good. We're heading to London next month and of course the new album next month. I'm very excited.” He looked at Mikey with happy eyes and said “Life it good, I have everything I've ever dreamed of and more”

They both just smiled at each other

“But we're not here to talk about me. How are you, I've not seen you in years not since.....” Pete stopped not know weather or not he should mention those three precious words.

“Not since LA when I was still in My Chemical Romance.” He looked at Pete

“It's ok you can say those three words together”

He sighed

“It was hard, The hardest thing about it was it was completely out of my control. It wasn't my decision it...” He looked down “It was Gerard, We all wanted to continue”

“These things rarely are in our control” Pete said to Mikey “If they were they wouldn't happen, But you would all need to be on the same level as a band and if you have creative differences then it wouldn't of worked ”

“I guess” Mikey said looking at diminishing liquid in his mug

“It just couldn't of happened at a worse time. My marriage was breaking down and I... I did something stupid”

He looked at Pete

“I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I loved Alicia, but we were wrong for each other and we were too destructive. We both took drugs and we both wanted different things. I still loved her but we weren't talking any more we were just fucking, taking drugs and drinking till we passed out and Sarah was just there she wanted to talk she had things to say and she listened to me”

He signed looking at Pete who looking back at him with forgiving eyes

“I handled it badly”

“look man, I'm not judging you for what happened we all made mistakes when it comes to relationships it sucks but it's the price we pay as we search for happiness to share with someone.”

Pete said placing a friendly hand on Mikey's shoulder

Mikey looked down

“It got so bad after that, I'd self medicated for years while on tour. Ever night I fort the feeling to throw up before walking on stage. I relied on drugs and booze just to walk on stage”

He looked up at the celling remembering

“My life fell apart man” Mikey's voice was starting to break with the emotion he was whimpering fighting back the tears.

“Everything I revolved my life around was ripped away from me. Sarah and I were starting to grow apart what I was looking for in her wasn't there. All I was left with was drugs and that just made it worse. I want to end it and if it wasn't for my friends and Gerard I would of done”

Mikey looked close to tears Pete took his coffee him and placed both the mugs on the table and put his arms out to Mikey offering him a hug which he gratefully accepted. Both men embraced Mikey started to cry into Pete's shoulder Pete just held him close and let him cry out all his pain. When Mikey eventually pulled away he wiped his eyes

“I'm so sorry man, you must think I'm a right girl” He said

“Not for one moment Mikes” Pete said back to Mikey laughing a little at his remark

“Look Mikes I asked you here for a reason.”

Mikey looked at Pete his brow lowered with confusion

“Look around, We are sitting in my brand new conservatory my amazing girlfriend and beautiful son are sleep upstairs. My other son in fast sleep at his mom’s house. My band are doing great we've toured the world you could almost say we are icons. 10 years ago I had non of this”

He looked Mikey directly in the eyes and said

“I know just how you feel, you remember what I did 10 years ago. The stupid idiotic thing I did”

“Yeah I do” Mikey said to Pete remembering Pete's suicide attempt by take an Ativan overdose

Pete sighed

“All I saw was sadness back then. My mind was in a bad place I was such a mess. I'm not going to go into details, you don't need to hear the things I was doing to myself. But look at me now”

He said smiling with his arms out

“I cant imagine not being here now. I'd have non of this” He said gesturing round the room

“I didn't bring you here to brag Mikey. I brought you here to try and make you see and to understand. That you don't know what’s round the corner and even when things do reach rock bottom which they do sometimes”

He placed his hand on Mikey shoulder once more

“Things can only get better.”

Mikey smiled place a hand on Pete's hand on his shoulder

“Thank you so much man”

“No problem Mikey”

Mikey looked down

“That’s why I started Electric Century to try and chase those lights again. To give me something in life again”

He said looking at Pete

“It's not the same, it's doesn't have the same magic My Chem did. But I have to give it a shot”

“That's the spirit Mikes” Pete's said slapping Mikey friendly on the arm.

“And don't worry about it being different to MCR it will be different. Black Cards felt different to Fall Out Boy. It's with completely different people, your going to be delivering a different message but that doesn't mean it wont work. Once you get out there and start performing to fans it'll be magical again”

Pete suddenly stopped as if a light had just been turned on in his head

“Where are with the song writing on Electric Century?” Pete asked

“We're recording right now making a few changed here and there but I'd say were almost ready.. why” Mikey asked curiously

“Well” Pete said “Fall Out Boy are playing a one off show in LA, just before we head off to England were still looking for a band to open out for us”

Mikey looked at Pete almost as if he'd asked him to kill a small child. He just looked at him not know what to say he thought about it for a few second. He knew he should talk it through with the band first but he didn't know what took over him

“Yeah, we'll do it” He said

“Awesome!!” Pete said “It'll be fun, we can hang out more and it'll do you good”

Mikey just smiled almost regretting taking the offer, He knew the band would be ready but weather or not he was ready he didn't know. He saw this as a way of forcing himself.

Suddenly there was a cry coming from upstairs a child's cry of a hungry baby waiting for his 2 am feed.

“Saint is awake, He wants feeding” Said Pete looking down at his phone was shocked to see the time

“I should go” Mikey said

“Don't be stupid man, we have a guest room stay here the night.”

“No it's fine I don't want to get in the way. But seriously Pete thanks. Thanks for everything”

Pete looked back at Mikey and smiled

“Take care of yourself Mikes and for God sakes call me if you need anything, Here I'll walk you to the door”

As both men creped through Pete's house the crys of baby Saint was echoing thought the house. Mikey opened the front door and walked out looking back at Pete waving saying good buy to one another as Mikey made his way to his car to drive home while Pete walked upstairs to help Meagan with there hungry son.

Mikey told his band mates about there depute performance he had arranged. His band mates weren't happy and wished they had talked to him first but they eventually came round to the idea and just decided to concentrate on making sure they were ready to open up for Fall Out Boy. Mikey was excited at the prospect of performing on stage again. It reminded him of the early My Chem days. This was different or course no one know his name back then there were no expectation back then.

It was the night before the Fall Out Boy gig and Mikey was sitting in his house watching a late night episode of Judge Judy. Just as he was considering going to bed he was surprised by a knock at the door which then opened and in walked Gerard. Mikey was used to Gerard surprise visits but never this late.

“Hi, Thought I'd stop by” Said Gerard.

“I can see that” Mikey said smiling “Awesome” Mikey said as Gerard walked in

Mikey quickly turning over the TV as if embarrassed to be watching Judge Judy, Instead turning on some late night episode of Law and Order.

“Would you like a drink?” Mikey said to Gerard “I have some cans of Coke Zero”

“Sure” Gerard answered making himself at home sitting on the couch turning the channel on the TV as Mikey went to get the drinks.

Mikey returned to the room throwing the can at Gerard lap making him jump at the unexpected impact.

“What bring you here so late” Mikey asked sitting down next to Gerard stealing back his TV remote.

“Been working all day and need to get out of the house” Gerard said putting his feet on Mikeys coffee table kicking off his shoes “Have you got any popcorn?” Gerard asked

Mikey looked at him with a smirk

“No I haven't” He said “You come over here steal my food, My Coke Zero and take control over my TV, Who do you think you are” He asked hitting Gerard with his cushion.

The two brothers laughed at one another. They decided to watch Empire Strikes Back for old times sake. Half way through the film Gerard looked over at Mikey and asked him.

“You all set for tomorrow night?”

Mikey had to think for a moment wondering what Gerard meant by that, then it dawned on him Electric Century first performance was happening.

Mikey thought for a moment

“Er mm, Yeah were all set. We have all the gear and the van all ready plus a small crew. It should be good fun” He answered not wanting to talk about it any more.

“That’s not what I mean” Gerard said looking up at Mikey

“Are YOU all set for tomorrow night is what I asked” He enquired.

Mikey didn't want to answer the question. The only thing keeping him from not cancelling the set was him not thinking about it too much.

“I cant wait” He answered bluntly

“Mikes” Gerard said looking at him with puppy dog eyes “You don't need to bullshit me, I can remember you know”

He knew Gerard was referring to the early My Chem days when they would both drink themselves silly just to calm the nerves of walking on stage.

Mikey knew Gerard wasn't going to let it go.

“I'm nervous, but I'm okay, seriously” Mikey said trying to reassuring Gerard so he would change the subject.

But Gerard wasn't convinced.

“I wasn't emotional ready. I just didn't know what to expect, I didn't know what the fans were expecting when I played Reading and Leeds. I knew I was going to disappoint people. Especially the loyal MCR fans and I'm sure there are some people who walked away from the tent disappointed.” He signed looking Mikey too see if he was listening.

Mikey was looking at him intrigued by what Gerard was saying, felling relieved from his brothers previous nerves. Gerard solo album had been received with great love and support followed by a sold out UK tour and a US tour to follow after that.

“I know I'm never going to reach the same heights we did when we were My Chem but I'm doing this for the fans that continue to follow and support what I do and the same will happen for you too.”

Mikey signed looking down at his hands

“I'm not you Gee” Mikey said quietly “I don't you charisma. Lets face it, I'm going to be the reason kids are going to come to Electric Century shows, they are going to be expecting me be the deliver far more than I ever have done before. What if I cant do it”

Gerard smiled at his brother

“Wow, I'm flattered you said that. But seriously Mikes on stage I just used to fuck about not giving a shit in the world”

“Yeah I remember” Said Mikey “You were like a wild animal, the things you did and the sounds you'd make have scared me for life”

Gerard laughed at that “Haha sorry” he said

“Trust me Mikey, the fans will love you like they did back then. You got way more attention from girls then I did” Gerard said.

“That's because you got more attention for guys” Mikey teased

“Fucker” Gerard said hitting his arm, but he knew it was true and me secretly liked it.

The brothers eventually fell asleep on Mikey couch missing the end of the film.

The day of the gig came round so quickly as the members of Electric Century drive to the United Centre in LA. Mikey looked at through the blacked out windows of the bands transit van (A down grade from the huge MCR tour bus he was used to) he looked out at all the fans waiting patiently for doors to the venue to open, some he recognised some as MCR fans who had grown up. Other were young new fans. He decided not to make himself known when the van pulled up outside he walked with his band quickly into the arena to start setting up as the crew started bring his equipment into the venue.

For hours the band rehears there set, they sound checked much longer than necessary.

When Fall Out Boy eventually turned up Mikey was happy to see his old friend again. He hugged them all one by one and introduced his new band to the members of Fall Out Boy.

“When Pete told us he'd found us a support act we were worried what he'd found” Patrick said laughing

“But seriously Mikes I cant wait to here your new band”

“Thanks Patrick” Mike said gratefully

As the day rolled on the old nerves started to creep back to Mikey breaking down on the inside. Normally when he felt this way he would turn to booze and he was fighting with all the strength of his being to not go anywhere near the stuff, he wasn't even sure there was any backstage but he would of done anything just to satisfy his craving. It was nearing 7:30 now and the arena was starting to fill up, the sold out show was starting to fill with the familiar sound of excited fans waiting for there hero’s to take the stage. Were there MCR fans in the crowd? He was sure there must be some out there, Electric Century had been announced as the support soon after him and Pete had arranged it and of course, his twitter was filled with supporting comments

@mikeyway Cant wait to see you support FOB next week

@mikeyway I love you Mikey your my hero I cant wait to see you on stage again

The time was nearing 8pm the start of Electric Century half an hour set. He received a text from Gerard

Good Luck Mikey
shred some faces
break some heart
xx

He smiled.

He jumped as Pete sneak up behind him with Patrick placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I think your going to need this” He said handing Mikey an extra strong cappuccino from Starbucks

“Ow God yes please” He said. Gulping the drink down his nerves were shot.

Pete was almost amused by how quick he gulped down the sweet beverage.

“You'll be fine man” Patrick said to him “Your those kids hero, Knock 'em dead kid... But not literally though” Patrick added on the little joke to try and calm Mikeys nerves. Which did work for about a second which Mikey was grateful for.

It was now 8pm and Electric Century were due on stage. All the band members were embracing in a group hug whispering words of encouragement to one another. When they pulled away they gave the signal they were ready.

The lights went out, the fans immediately started to scream the sound was like music to Mikey ears it was so encouraging and so formula, he loved it. He heard people chanting his name. Maybe he will be ok. The bands drummer made his way to his drum kit taking his sticks in his hand. Mikey walked on stage with the rest of the band and the screams were ear piercing he loved it. It was like the good old days he need this.

The band stated playing the first song, it went well the crowd screamer encouragement it was quieter than he remembered but it was a cheer it was what he need as they started to play the second song Mikey looked down at the crowd. They looked uninterested, kids were looking at there phones talk to there friends not playing attention to the music they looked almost bored. When they finished the second song the cheer was almost non-existent. The Electric Century sound was different to what My Chem fans were used to but so was Gerards album. When they started to play the third song no one was interested but a new sound was erupting a sound Mikey did not need to hear. Fans started to boo the song, he saw some kids thumbs downing the song. Some objects were being thrown on stage, the boos were getting louder when the song was over the boos were louder than ever. The sound was ripping thought Mikey like a knife to his heart. The band were all considering pulling the plug but they were determined to see the set to the end as they started the 4th song the boos were so loud you couldn't hear the sound of the instruments or the lyrics. Mikey couldn't stay there, he dropped his bass and stormed off stage know if he stayed there he would of lost it completely.

Mikey just stormed off backstage towards the back door several people were calling his name one he recognised as Joe the other Patrick and finally Pete. He assumed his band were still on stage trying to finish there set with out there bass player when really they should of just spared there dignity and left the stage with Mikey.

Pete's voice was getting louder but Mikey just ran out the building to get away from his friend he know he couldn't talk to anyone, there was only one thing he needed.

Pete eventually gave up chasing after Mikey the rest of Fall Out Boy were there and they were worried they knew Mikey was venerability.

“Somebody needs to go after him” said Andy

Pete knew there was only one person who Mikey needed at this precise moment. He pulled out his phone looking through his phone-book just hoping he still had his number, he sighed a sigh of relief when he found the number he was looking for. He held the phone up to his ear and waited for him to answer

“Hello”

“Gee, It's Pete Wentz” Pete said down the phone

“Ow Hay Pete, you okay? How's the show going? Is Mikey enjoying himself?”

Pete sighed and proceeded to tell Gerard what had happened

After running for 10 minuets straight Mikey limbs were numb with exhaustion his chest was tight and body ached but he knew he couldn't stop till he got to were he need to go. It had been almost a year since he'd come here and he'd promised himself and all his loved one he'd never come back but he'd reached rock bottom. Even though all the shit with the band breaking up and the heartache of the end of his marriage he knew he still had music and the ability to create music for his adoring fan-base who he knew would stick by his through thick and thin but now that was gone also. He'd never felt this ashamed and so embarrassed in his whole life. All those years he'd fought with stage fright he knew it would be worth it in the end. He'd only ever felt that while he was the bassist of My Chemical Romance now he wasn't even that any more he was nothing.

As he walked down the same cold damp alley way were he'd come most nights to buy his stash, he was still out of breath struggling to breath hand on his chest he looked around for his regular dealer and just hoped he was around this early in the evening.

“Hay” He jumped out of his skin looking to his left were the sound came from

“Been a while since I've seen you round these part” Said the drug dealer a tall well built man with a bald head

“Last I heard you were in rehab, I was wondering how long it would before you relapsed” He said with a chuckle

Mikey didn't want to be here. Rehab was hard, going cold turkey was one of the most draining things he's ever done. But he had to go through it, he was almost completely detoxed and everyone was so proud of him for staying off drug. He didn't want to let anyone down but he wasn't strong enough.

“I have money, Just give me the strongest stuff you have” He had no control over his words. His brain was telling he needed drugs but his heart was telling him to run.

The drug dealer smiled

“How much you got?” He asked

“I have $100 cash” Mikey said lying knowing full well he had a lot more money on him

This dealer was not an idiot of course he knew who Mikey was and no way did he believe he'd have so little money on him.

The dealer reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of white powder showing it to Mikey. He looked at the heroin even though he hated the sight of the drug he knew he has to have it.

“Sure you got a deal” said the dealer

“Money now” He said

Feeling a little intimidated Mikey pulled out his wallet as he did the dealer grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him against the wall behind him completely out of the sighed of the public and punched him in the stomach winding him sending him falling to the ground the dealer snatched Mikeys wallet from his hands and emptied it of it's contents. He found a total of $340 cash, He took the money and kicked Mikey in the ribs.

“Next time you come looking for a fix it's best not to lie to me about how much money you have on you” He knelt down next to Mikey “Maybe next time I wont be as forgiving”

He stood up and dropped Mikey the bag of heroin and his empty wallet

“Ow and I think you'll need these” and dropped a spoon, a belt and a syringe next to Mikey. Which he took.

“Now get out of here rockstar” Said the dealer

Mikey struggled to his feet and ran out of the alley, he decided to take his fix in the park under the bridge. When he got there he waisted no time in administering the drug, it has been a long time since he'd taken heroin he'd mainly stuck to Cocaine and a bit of speed every now and again. But this wasn't this first time he's taken heroin and knew what to do.

He opened the bag and emptied half it's contents on the spoon and heated it with the lighted he had in his pocket. He used the belt to tie round his arm to make his veins more pronounced. It only took about a minute for the powder to become a clear liquid he filled the syringe and waisted no time in empting it's contents into his arm.

He felt terrible he wanted to cry, no he wanted to die for those few seconds he waited for the drug to kick in he wanted to die. He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks he sobbed like a child under the bridge waiting for the drug to take away his pain.

Soon it did just that he felt like he was walking in the air, like he was flying he was calm content. He's forgotten everything about this dreadful night, The being booed of stage was being pulled away, the band breaking up, The failed relationships, the letting everyone down was all gone it was just him. Him feeling high.

He wasn't aware his surrounds he was on a different planet he didn't notice them walking up to him

The two cops had spotted him running into the park, curious by his suspicious behaviour know full well anyone entering the park this time at night was either stupid, looking for a victim or in Mikey case to shoot up.

By this time Mikey was completely out of it, he was in his own world where everything was perfect. One of the cops shone the light in his face.

“What have you taken buddy” One of the cops asked

Mikey didn’t answer he just sat on the grown leaning against the brick tunnel of the bridge his eyes eyes shut rolled back in there sockets.

The other cop grabbed his by his arms shaking his lightly trying to get a response.

“He's completely wasted” The cop said to his partner

The cops searched Mikey and found what was left of his stash,

“Heroin” Said the cop

Mikey was suddenly startled by the cops presents and started to fight back punching one of the cops in the face unaware of his actions, he was still completely high, if he had be aware of what he was doing he would not of even thought about striking a police officer.

The two cops waisted no time in restrain Mikey slapping handcuffs on his wrists, reading him his rights

“You are under arrest for possession of a class A drug and assaulting a police officer. You do not have to say anything but if may harm you defence for something you late to rely on in court anything you do say may be given in evidence.”

The words sounded muffled to Mikey like he was listening to them talk under water, even as they shut him in the back of the police car he still didn't get the gravity of the situate. But he soon would.

Mikey spend the night in the cold dark cell slowly coming back to reality he wasn't aware how much heroin he's taken but the effect were stating to ware off and he hated it. He started screaming at the cops banning on the cell door.

“I need some Morphine, Please my head is going to split in two please”

Unbeknown to Mikey the cops had no Morphine nor were they qualified to administrate the drug they were used to screaming drug addicts drowning the prison halls with desperate cries. Eventually he gave up and slowly slid down the door onto the floor of the cell just hoping going cold turkey wouldn't be a traumatic as the last.

Sleeping was impossible the crippling pain in his head felt like his skull was being ripped open, cold sweat was coating every inch of his body which caused his hair and clothes to stick to his skin he just wanted it to end after throwing up in the toilet in the corner of his cell it brought some relief but not enough to feel normal but maybe enough to try and get some sleep he closed his eyes trying to block out the pain but his head was still spinning and the hard uncomfortable prison bed was not helping the matter adventively he fell asleep just as the sun was coming up purely down to exhaustion.

He was woken up just 2 hours later by the sound of his cell door being opened, he woke with a jump looking behind him at the authoritative figure which was cop he had assaulted the night before who welding a nasty black eye which Mikey was responsible for.

“Get you shit together” Said the cop

“You've been bailed”

Mikey sat up quickly but wish he hadn’t every inch of his body was in pain. He skin was damp and sticky from the dried cold sweat had created an extra layer of skin. He held his head in pain forcing himself to stand walking out the cell into the waiting room, he wondered who paid his bale. Standing there in the waiting room Gerard was waiting for his he arms crossed leaning against the wall. Mikey stopped and looked down at the floor to ashamed to ever looked at him. Gerard had paid his bale after spending the night looking for him. After Pete had called him telling him what had happened he he knew he had to find him that he would be lead into temptation, he checked hospital, local bars and hangouts before heading to the police station to report him as a missing person, only to find he's be brought into custody and was horrified to hear what he had been arrested for. Gerard had feeling he knew why as much as he tried to denied it to himself he couldn't escape the truth. Thankfully the cop he assaulting wasn't pressing charges but he was being charged for possession. But for now he was aloud to leave at Gerard expense.

“You look terrible” Gerard said to Mikey which he ignored

“My car is outside”

Mikey sat in the front seat of the car not talking looking out the window, Gerard had thought about making conversation since he needed answers. He drove up to the drive through McDonald and ordered them both breakfast.

“I'm not hungry” Said Mikey

“I don't care” Gerard said bluntly

“Were going to talk about last night weather you like it or not. It's up to you weather or not you eat something. It'll make you feel better”

Mikey wanted to jump out the car and run but in all honesty the only thing stopping him was his aching body.

Gerard roughly packed his car leaving skid marks on the road.

“Mikes seriously drink this” Gerard said handing him a cup of McDonald coffee “It will make you feel better”

Mikey took the container from Gerard and sipped it lightly.

“Why Mikey? Why did you do it?” Gerard asked

Mikey didn't answer. Gerard knew why he did it.

Gerard sighed

“Look I'm sorry about what happened to you last night, that must have been crushing. But Mikes come on after how far you've come! And now you will have a criminal record. That will effect you touring you know. There will be country you wont be able to set foot in again”

“YOU REARLY THINK I GOING TO TOUR WITH ELECTRIC CENTRY NOW” Mikey bellowed out.

“We're done, Gerard, I'm done, I'm sure you heard about what happened last night. We sucked, The fans hatted us. Never had I experienced anything like that before Gee” said Mikey

“What about Reading and Leeds? What about Download, What about some of the early My Chem shows when we were opening up for local bands. We weren't always love by all.” Gerard said trying to reassure him

“No, that was different” Said Mikey looking at Gerard “Last night was different, fans did cheer at first but as our set continued it you could see it in the kids eyes they were.... bored, disappointed, let down. Back then fans used to bottle us because we were the 'shitty emo band' last night we were booed because we sucked, Gerard.”

Mikey turned to look out the window. Gerard hated the fact Mikey felt like this, he could only imagine how he felt. He feared something like that would happen to him when he realised his depute album Hesitant Alien. He was so grateful it was given a good reception.

“I'm so sorry Mikey, I'm so sorry that happened to you. But are you really going to let one bad show be the end of you? Because if you continue down this road, it will be the end of you. It will kill you and that scares me to fucking death Michael.”

“Ow so now your concerned” Mikey said bluntly

Gerard sighed he didn't want to have this discussion again

“Mikey please don't start this again”

Gerard knew Mikey was referring an argument they had had were Mikey was accusing Gerard of being selfish for ending the band, how it was his decision and not a band decision.

“You didn't think of anyone else when you broke up our band, It was your decision. We all wanted to continue” Mikey was now shouting and Gerard was getting angry

“I know that” Gerard yelled “But what would we of done? Hum? Another concept album after the other. It would not of lasted it's better we ended on a high”

“And yes” Gerard continued “I wanted to do other things, I have different things to give now Mikes, I'm not the same man I was back then. I don't know how many time I can say I'm sorry but I cant be held responsible for you action.”

Mikey hates Gerard talking to him like this

“Answer me this Gee” Mike asked “What do you think fans go and see you for? You think it's because of your new music? NO it's not, they go and see you to see Gerard from My Chemical Romance. Not Gerard Way. When they realise your not Gerard from My Chem they will stop going to your shows”

Gerard was taken back

“What do you mean by that?” He asked

“I think you know what I mean” Mikey said coldly to Gerard

Gerard was very hurt and angry, He was very proud of the work he was now doing.

“Well” Gerard said “At least I lasted a lot longer than you did and you would be nothing without me and you know it. You were the third wheel in My Chem we would have been just fine without you.”

That was the worst possible thing Gerard could of said he instantly regretted it

“I didn't mean that” Gerard said trying to apologise

“Yes you did” Mikey said back harshly

Mikey exited the car not bothering to take his breakfast with him.

“Mikey come back” Gerard yelled after him but Mikey just ignored him.

Gerard punched the steering wheel of the car in frustration regretting what he said and he defiantly didn't mean it because it wasn't true.

Mikey slowly staggered into his house dragging his feet behind him drunk from the bottle of whiskey in his hand. It was about 11pm now he had been drinking for almost 18 hours, He looked round his house the walls, the furniture, the pictures on the walls they all had memories. Memories of the life he'd lost of the person he used to be he didn't think it was possible but it was. The painting he'd bought in Paris in 2007 the rug he'd bought in Poland while touring with Muse, the couch him and Alicia had bought for there first house together and of course the MCR awards that were all there emotional torturing him. He wanted to tear the place apart but he didn't have the energy and what would be the point he hated feeling like this being a constant emotional train wreck he's had enough of fighting with his mind he just wanted it to end he just wanted piece and he knew the only way to do that. He'd made the decision after what Gerard had said to him. He had nothing now nothing at all he just wanted to die.

He walked up the stairs to his en-suite bath room and turned on the light to look in the mirror, Gerard was right he did look awful he opened the cabinet to the trying to find something lethal. He found a unopened packet of Tamarsipan and decided it'll have to do. He looked at the bottle pills for a few minutes, it was like looking down a barrel of a gun only less terrifying. He sat down on the bathroom floor emptied the pills into his hands looking at the little tiny pills that were going to end his life. He started having flash backs. Fans finding out what he'd done to Alicia and hating him for being with Sarah.

@mikeyway You used to be my hero now you a disgrace

@mikeyway needs to kill himself

The not so unexpected phone call all the member of My Chemical Romance preyed wouldn't happened

It's over guys, We're breaking up

Not leaving the house for month, His relationship with Sarah breaking down, dwelling over past glories, sinking deeper and deeper into the black-hole that was his mind, drugs and alcohol numbing the pain addictions growing stronger, loosing himself in the mess he'd made of his life, going on stage again.

BOO BOOO BOOO

His adoring fans tearing his new band to shreds.

You were the third wheel in MCR we would have been just fine without you

As he dowelled on the past he couldn't stop he tears from falling, the usual questions of why? And How? but didn't want to search for the answer no more he just wanted piece. One by one he swallowed the pills down forcing them down with a swig of whisky. He didn't feel scared or any physical pain. But soon the mixture of whisky and the pills were starting to irritate his insides soon he felt the erg to be sick crawling to the toilet he spewed his guts out burning his throat but only alcohol came up, he emptied the rest of the pills into his hand and swallowed them all down together at once with some whiskey. The sick feeling was dwelling again in his stomach. He stated to feel tired like he could sleep forever he shut his eyes he knew it was coming and he felt calm. He could see the stage lights shining above him, his bass was in his hands, he was wearing his Black Parade jacket, fans were telling him how awesome he was, out in the desert he was Kobra Kid such a fun persona. Having fun with Gerard and the guys not a worry in the world. Happy young in love, ambitious want to get out in the world and play to thousands of adoring fans. Now it's come to this dying on his bathroom floor, he was slipping away now the stage lights were getting dimmer the memories and thoughts were slipping away his heavy eyelids were closing permanently for the last time. Lying on his back the last thing he was aware of was feeling sick and with he last shred of energy he rolls onto his side and was sick on the floor after that nothing no emotions, no pain, no feeling sick, just nothing silence.

Gerard couldn't sleep his argument with Mikey had been repeating in his head all day, he returned home too Bandit take her to school and kissed her good buy. Retreated into his office to work on some projects but nothing was coming to him, Just over and over what he had said to Mikey was repeating in his head, it was driving him insane he didn't mean what he said he was just angry and upset if he could take it back he would.

He sat up in bed looking at the clock seeing it was 3:30am he looked next to him Lindsay was sleeping soundly. She had thought something was wrong and tried to question him about it. Knowing he couldn't keep anything from her he told her what he'd said to Mikey. She told him to give him some space and go and apologised in the morning which he was planning to do.

“Gerard” He looked next to him to see she had woken up

“I'm sorry to wake you baby” He said tucking some loose hair behind her ear

“It's fine, Look I know what wrong and if it makes you feel better go over and see him, because you sure as hell aren't going to get any sleep if you dwell on it any more” She said to him sitting up

“But Gerard, You cant look out for him forever you know.” She said to him “You moved on and so should he” She said to him

Gerard loved the Lindsay always knew what to say

“But I know you wont because that's the kind of person you are Gee, you always put the people you love first, but Gerard you cant take the emotional baggage for his mistakes forever. But you did say something hurtful to him which you need to fix” She said to him

Gerard looked at her and kissed her lightly on the lips “I love you, you know” She said to her

“I know” She said smiling “Now go”

With that she laid back down and turned over to go back to sleep.

Gerard got up, threw on some clothes and quietly walked to the front door, looking in on Bandit who was sleeping soundly in her bed.

Gerard walked up to Mikey door alarmed as to find it was open slightly. Gerard opened to door the rest of the way looking round he saw no sign of Mikey

“Hello! Mikey, It's me Gerard”

No answer, Gerard looked around. The place didn't look ran sacked, it was still reasonably tidy with nothing missing so no burglary had taken place. Maybe Mikey had just forgot to close the door when he went up to bed. But something wasn't right, he just had a feeling.

Gerard walked up the stairs to Mikeys bedroom knocking lightly on the door before opening it.

“Mikes it's just me I....”

But Mikey's bed was empty it was still made and unslept in. Gerard started to become very worried. Were was Mikey? He looked round noticing the light to his en suite bathroom was on and slightly ajar .

“Mikey! Are you in there?” Gerard asked

Opening the door. The sight that met Gerard made his blood run cold. He saw the whiskey the pills and the vomit on the floor and knew immediately what Mikey had done. He was lying lifeless on the bathroom floor seemingly not breathing the bottle of Whisky still in his hand, the empty bottle of pills next to his body. He looked dead.

“Mikey, Ow Shit. NO”

Gerard ran up to Mikey kneeling down next to him and started shaking him trying to wake him up repeating his name over and over again getting louder and louder trying to get him to respond.

“Ow shit Mikey, what have you done you stupid son of a bitch”

Gerard mind was racing he quickly pulled out his cell phone to call an ambulance

As Gerard waited impatiently for the 911 operator to pick up the call he started to clear the vomit from Mikey mouth. Finally the operator picked up.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“Hello, It's my brother he's taken pills he's unconscious” Gerard said franticly into his phone

“Okay sir, I need you to give me your address, I'm going to send an ambulance over”

Gerard tried not to stammer Mikey's address saying it as clearly and quickly as possible.

“Okay sir, now you say the patient is you brother. What’s his name?” Asked the operator

“It's Michael, Michael Way”

“Okay sir and what's yours?”

“It's Gerard” He said back franticly

“Okay Gerard, Do you know what he's taken so I can tell the paramedic that are on there way to you?

Gerard looked around finding the empty packet of Tamarsipan

“Okay Gerard, is Michael breathing?”

Gerard looked down at Mikey he hadn’t even noticed that he wasn't breathing

“No he's not breathing. Ow my God he's not breathing God damn it” By now Gerard was finding it almost impossible to keep calm. He couldn't loose Mikey. Mikey cant die, he just cant.

The 911 operator could hear that Gerard was loosing it and tried calming him down.

“Gerard listen to me, the ambulance is on it's way but I need you to administer CPR okay. Do you think you can do that?”

Gerard had never had to give anyone mouth to mouth before but how hard can it be?

The woman over the phone had told him to roll Mikey on to his back and tilt his head up clearing his airway. Then he must pinch his nose with one hand use his other hand to open his mouth. Then to cover his mouth with Mikey and breath into his mouth twice then do 5 chest compression and keep doing that over and over again. The first time couple of time Gerard gave Mikey the kiss of life he could taste the vomit on his lips and had to use his sleeve wipe his mouth so he could continue. Every time Gerard was giving Mikey chest compressions he was talking to him trying to encourage his to wake up.

“Come on Mikey please wake up. I'm so sorry please wake up”

Mikey wasn't responding Gerard had only been doing CPR for about 2 minuets but he was getting more and more frantic he just wanted Mikey to respond in some way.

Gerard picked up the phone almost shouting at the woman on the other end.

“He's not waking up. Please tell the ambulance to hurry up.”

“They are very near by Gerard” The calm voice on the other end said to him.

“Can you feel his neck. The check to see if he has a pulse”

Gerard placed 2 fingers on the pulse on Mikey's neck and was encouraged when he felt a weak beating sensation

“I feel it, I feel it.” He said almost excitedly down the phone

“You feel a pulse?” The woman said almost shocked “That means he's still alive Gerard. You need to keep breathing for him until the ambulance arrives okay. You doing very well, The ambulance will be with you very soon I promise”

Gerard instantly dropped the phone and continued to try and save Mikey's life breathing into his mouth talking to him while he was giving him chest compressions willing him to wake up. Maybe he'll be okay. If has a pulse then there is a chance.

Soon Gerard heard the paramedics arrive.

“Up here Quick” He yelled down the stairs

He heard to two male paramedics storm up the stairs into the bedroom and then into the bathroom

“Over here, He's over here”

Gerard got out of the way so the paramedics can work on saving Mikey's life. Gerard stood there his hand over his mouth. Almost too shell shocked to speak. This wasn't happening. He looked down at Mikey limp body and thought he looked so peaceful.

“I'm getting a weak pulse” One of the paramedics said.

“Lets bag him” The other said.

They started to hook Mikey up to machines to read his heart beat and breathing. Gerard watched as the faint line went up and down.

“Do you know this man?” The paramedic asked Gerard

“He's my brother” He answered

“Has he ever done anything like this before?”

“No, never” Gerard answered quickly “I mean, He's had problems with depression in the past but he's never done anything like this before”

Gerard watched as the paramedics inserted a breathing tube down Mikey windpipe and started breathing for him. The other paramedic found what Mikey had taken and took a sample of his vomit to give to the doctors at the hospital.

“We cant give him adrenaline, He has too much in his system. We just need to get him to breath”

Gerard watched and listed to what the paramedics were saying and doing to Mikey. He just watched in a daze. Suddenly as they were trying to get Mikey to breath he started to have a seizure, He started fitting and jerking violently, the machine measuring his heart beat was making a alarming beeping sound, the kind you'd hear on a hospital drama. This sound was filling Gerard with dread. One paramedic tried to hold him down while the other continued to try to get him to breath.

Gerard looked at the state Mikey was in and wanted to scream. What was happening to him? he just stood there feeling helpless tears were starting to well up. It didn't look good.

“We cant help him here, we need to get him to the hospital” He heard the paramedics say who were struggling to keep Mikey still and breath for him.

“Sir” One of the paramedics called to Gerard

Gerard perked up at his summering

“I need to go and get the stretcher. My partner is going to need your help holding him still”

Gerard sprung into action holding down on Mikey shoulders and the man trying to save his life continued to pump the oxygen into his lungs. While the other paramedic rushed to the ambulance to retrieve the stretcher.

The journey in the ambulance was brutal. The flashing blues lights and the sound of the siren was ear piercing to Gerard. The ambulance was going so fast the paramedic working on Mikey was having to hold the wall of the ambulance just to balance. Mikey continues to seizure all the way to the hospital, going into cardiacs rest. The Paramedic pulled out the defoliator they had stocked in the Ambulance

“Clear” He said out of habit, No one else was touching Mikey. Gerard was sitting on the visitor chair in the ambulance watching in horror as his brother fought for his life

By the time they got to the hospital Gerard didn't even have time to see what direction they wheeled Mikey. He was stopped by one of the nurses who too his details and asked him to go wait in the visitors waiting room, telling him she will come and find him if she hears anything.

When Gerard reached the waiting room he was relieved to find it empty, everything was so quiet, he just sat on the seat in the waiting room the events of the morning replaying through his mind, finding Mikey on the bathroom floor, the pills, the whisky, calling the ambulance, giving him mouth to mouth, the paramedics fighting to save his life, the ambulance ride to the hospital all silently replaying in his mind as he as he stared into space. He didn't want anyone else to see the state he was in and the state he was about to be in. It suddenly dawned on him he should probably call his parents. He pulled out his cell phone and looked at the screen looking down at the adorable picture of Bandit he had as his wallpaper background. Looking through his phone-book he found his mothers number and pressed the green phone slowly brining his phone to his ear he waited for her to answer.

“Hello Gerard, are you ok?” Donna answered unaware of what's happened

“Mom” Gerard answered in a daze “You have to come to LA hospital”

“Why what's happened Gerard?” His mother asked alarmed

“Mikey, in the hospital” He said to her in a daze and quickly hung up the phone and turned it off before he had to answer any more question.

After that he called Lindsay to tell her what had happened. She offered to get a babysitter for Bandit so she could come and be with him but he told her to stay with Bandit and he'll call her if things change.

Gerard just sat in the waiting room for hours just staring into space vacantly. The events of the morning just circling round and round in his head. Deep down he knew it was bad.

About 5 hours had past of Gerard just sitting in the waiting room when the maternal sound entered the room disturbing his daze

“Gerard Arthur Way” His mother and father entered the room they had caught the first flight to LA after Gerard phone call to find out what had happened. Gerard stood up when they entered the room.

Donna rushed up and hugged him wrapping her arms tightly round him. Gerard just lightly embraced his mother patting her back with one hand.

“Gerard, you don't just tell me my son is in hospital then hung up on me like that. I was worried sick” Said Donna angrily scolding her older son like he was a 12 year old boy

Gerard dad was standing at the entrance to the waiting room just as desperate for some news
“What happened son?” Donald asked “Have you heard anything, What's wrong with Mike?”

“We heard about what happened at the Fall Out Boy show” said Donald

“I tried calling him” Donna said “But I couldn't get through, was he attacked or something? Gerard for God sake talk to us”

His parents looked at him shocked as he told them about what Mikey had done. He Gerard had found him in a pool of his own vomit.

“Why? Why would he do this? Why would my baby do this” Donna asked weeping sitting down in a chair being comforted by her husband.

Soon after a doctor walked in to the broken family who all looked at him with wet pleading eyes willing for good news.

“Are you Michael Ways next of kin?” He asked

“Yes” said Donna “I'm his mother, please can I see him? Is he okay?” She asked franticly

“Please lets go and talk in my office” The doctor said

The three of them walked down the hall of the doctors office it was the longest walks Gerard had ever taken. Donald holding Donna all the way there with Gerard walking behind them. They all entered the office and sat down on the chairs he offered to them and held each other hands Donna sitting in the middle with her husband and son either side of her.

“Please can I see Mike? I need to know he's ok” Donna was still franticly asking with Gerard and his dad holding her hand but just as desperate for answers.

“Mrs Way” The doctor began “Your son ingested a full bottle of Tamarsipan which he swallowed down with about 10-12 units of alcohol which we thing he may of taken about 3 hours before his brother found him. Tamarsipan slowly kills all the major organs eventually getting to the brain and the heart. By the time he made it to hospital he was in cardiac a rest and had a 10% survival chance”

Donna whimpered at what the doctor was telling her and hugged into Donald.

“We believe he may of stopped breathing only about half an hour before you found him” The doctor said looking at Gerard.

“We tried all we could to flush out what was remained of the drug out of his system but by this time major organ failure had already occurred his heart stopped and we had to put him on life support which is currently keeping him alive. But even if he does respond with in the next 24 hours his brain is too starved of oxygen, he would require full time care for the rest of his life and will be left in a vegetative state.”

As the doctor said these words to Mikey broken family his mother had almost lost it completely crying into Donald’s arms while Gerard just stared at the doctor not wanting to believe that they hadn’t saved Mikey.

“I'm very sorry, the doctor said. But there is almost no chance that he is going to wake up the person he was, The kindest thing we can do for him is to let him go. We can turn off the life support machine and let him slip away.”

Donna was wailing noisily in Donald's arms

Gerard wasn't making any noise he was just staring at the doctor trying so hard to keep it together but it was hard and visible on his face

“Can we please see him doctor” Donald asked

“Yes of course” He said “right this way”

The three of them followed the doctor to a private room, it was a big room with big windows and hospital bed at the far end of the room, lying on the bed was Mikey's life less body. He chest bare with the breathing tube still down his windpipe attached to the life support keeping him alive a nurse was checking his vitals updating his notes but she knew it wasn't good.

Donna and Donald went straight up to Mikeys side looking down at there lifeless son. Donna look at him and held his hand it to her chest and starting running her fingers through his hair with her other hand crying her eyes out.

“Mike, honey if you can hear me I want you to know mommy loves you. I love you so much. Ow baby why did you do this” She broke down in tears not letting go of Mikey hand.

Donald and the nurse trying to comfort her but the only thing that could cure her pain would be Mikey waking up which wasn't going to happen.

Gerard just stared down at Mikey he almost didn't recognise him. All he could thing about was the last conversation him and his brother had had. The worse words they had ever exchanged with each other. Why? Why? Had he said those words? They will haunt him forever. Were they the reason he was dead?

The doctor walked up behind them he hated this part of the job.

“I'm so sorry” He said “But I need you to give me permission to turn off his life support”

“No” Donna yell out

“Please, don't kill my child. He will pull thought, just you watch”

The doctor and the nurse looked at one another

“Mrs Way, I explained this to you. Your son is brain dead there is nothing more we can do for him.”

The doctor looked at he with sorry eyes, he could only imagine how horrible this must be.

“Don't say that” Donna said angrily

“My son is not brain dead. He's a very smart, kind and talented young man, with a big heart who takes life with 2 hand. He's not brain dead”

“Mrs Way if you would like to talk to someone about this” The doctor suggested

“I don't need to talk to anyone” She barked almost offended “Please don't give up on Mike, your a doctor your suppose to make people better”

Donald just held onto his wife trying to calm her down. Words had failed him in this situation, the thought of his youngest son lying dead on the bed in fount of him had made him almost dead himself

“Mom” Gerard finally spoke

“There is nothing they can do” Gerard said looking at his mom like a scared child riddled with grief

“We were too late... I was too late, you heard what the doctor told you..He's...” Gerard stopped trying to catch his breath “He's gone”

“The best thing we can do for him now is let him go with dignity”

Donna looked at Gerard in discuss.

“So your giving up on him too are you? what kind of man are you Gerard? This is not how I raised you. I raised the two of you to look out for one another.”

“I am mom. This is what's best for Mikey”

Donna slapped Gerard hard in the cheek knocking Gerard face to the side

“How is this best for your brother Gerard? Letting him die. Are you high? Have you been drinking?”

Gerard bough a hand to his red cheek. Donald had held back his wife preventing he from striking Gerard again

“Mom please” Gerard begged “The last thing Mikey and I did was fight, I will have to carry that round with me for the rest of my life.”

Gerard voice was whimpering

“You know Mikey would have no interest of living the rest of his life as a vegetable. You said it yourself he's a talented, smart and lives life to the full”

Donna was now crying more than before

“If he was forced to live the rest of his life with care workers, friends and family looking after him. You know he would resent us for it.”

Gerard took her hands and looked her straight in the eyes. He was finding it harder and harder to keep it together.

“Please mom, lets let him go with dignity”

Donna looked at Gerard for a few seconds then flung her arms round him and cried in his arms. Gerard couldn't stop the silent tears from falling. He hugged her back tight, Donald joined the group hug comforting what was left of his family.

After a while the doctor asked again

“Mrs Way”

Donna looked at him and just nodded the rest of them did the same.

“You can hold his hand if you wish” The nurse said

Donna went up to Mikey took his hand in hers and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

“Michael James, you look after you grandmother you hear me. Goodbye baby, I'll never forget you” She said to him.

Gerard took his other hand and just held in close there was so much he wanted to say to him about there childhood and of course My Chemical Romance, The monster they unleashed onto the world which helped so many kids and saved so many lives. But he couldn't, not with his parents watching and listening.

The doctor went over and switched off the life support machines and removed his breathing tube.

He felt Mikey neck and nodded to the nurse indicating that he'd passed away.

Gerard left the room leaving behind his parents to mourn there dead son. He just stood in the hall way of the hospital when he heard a voice he Hasn’t heard in a while.

“Gerard”

He looked up and saw Jeff Watson the old MCR manager

“Gerard, There's lots of press waiting outside. An ambulance was spotted leaving Mikey house. Gee what happened”

Jeff knew from Gerard face it wasn't good but he needed to hear is from Gerard. Gerard just said

“He's gone Jeff. About an hour ago he passed away... It... It was suicide”

Jeff just stared at Gerard shocked open mouthed

He immediately took Gerard in his arms in a comforting hug

“God Gee I'm so so sorry”

Gerard just patted Jeffs back

“I know it must be painful but your going to need to release a statement to the press. People have been trying to contact you with no luck”

Gerard suddenly remembered he'd turned his phone off, He turned it back on only to be meet with several missed calls and unread text messages.

“If you want, I will realise the statement on your behalf” Jeff said to Gerard

“Yeah” was all Gerard could manage

The ex MCR manager placed a hand on Gerard shoulder and said

“You take care of yourself Gee”

Jeff turned around and left to talk to the press.

No longer than 20 minuets after Jeff had left Gerard, he for some unknown reason logged onto twitter and was met with articular from Rocksound, Alternative press, Kerrang, The Rolling Stones.

My Chemical Romance bassist dead at 34.. suspected suicide

Mikey Way of My Chemical Romance/Electric Century dead at 34

The supporting tweets for The Madden brother, member of Avenged Sevenfold, Mindless Self Indulgence and of course Fall Out Boy and others who they'd come in contact with over the years were all offering supportive tweets in memory of Mikey.

The fans were also taking it badly

#R.I.PMikeyWay

I cant believe Mikey Way is dead
this is worse than the break up
#R.I.PMikeyWay

I will never do the same again
#R.I.PMikeyWay

MCR died truly with Mikey
#R.I.PMikeyWay

For the fans this was worse than that dreadful day on March 23rd 2013, they had the hope of a reunion and a few had the excitement of solo projects. Now all hope of seeing MCR on stage again was shattered

Not long after Gerard logged out he got a text from an old friend he hadn't heard for a long time. He opened up the text from Frank which only read

Gee, tell me it's a hoax

Gerard almost didn't want to answer

Not a hoax

He replied

For about another hour he just stared aimlessly into space in the hospital halls trying to make sense of what had happened. He slid down the wall onto the floor when he felt an hand land on his knee. Which made him look up and the friendly formula face looking down at him.

“Gee are you okay, I came as soon as I heard.” Said Ray “Stupid question of course your not okay, Here let me help you up”

Ray helped Gerard to his feet and sat him down on the seat in the hall shivering, his shoulder tense .

“Frank already texted me asking me to tell him it's not true” Said Gerard quietly “I wanted so badly to tell him it's a hoax, because at the moment it doesn't feel real at.”

“If you need anything” Ray said taking off his jacket and placing it over Gerard seeing him shiver.

“I need to go home and pick up some things, right now my fokes need to here. Can you please drive me home? Then bring me back here?”

“Yes of course” Said Ray

The press were still outside when Ray and Gerard exited the hospital they immediately started bombarding Gerard with question taking photos, Ray just helped Gerard to his car, pushing the reporters out the way almost running some over as he drove away.

It was late at night, gone midnight when Gerard arrived back at his house, It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t told Lindsay in person what had happened she must of found out on the internet. He stepped into his house which was pitch black apart from the TV which had been left on, he switched on the light seeing Lindsay asleep on the couch, the light woke her she sired in her sleep looking up at Gerard.

“Gee” She said getting to her feet “I was waiting for you”

She looked at Gerard and held his face in her hands and looked up at him his lip started to tremble soon followed by the tear the escaped from his face like a waterfall. She hugged him close holding him tight whispering words on encouragement. Gerard had done so well all day not to completely loose it but now he couldn't hold it together any more. He could bullshit his parents, Ray, Jeff everyone but not Lindsay. He broke down his crying filling up the whole house probably waking Bandit. His legs gave way and they both fell to the ground Lindsay was crying now too at her husbands state. She knew Gerard would never be the same again. Gerard held on to his wife having lost all control of everything.

He once wrote a song about Mikey. Saying he wasn't afraid to keep on living and to walk this world alone. Only time will tell if he could.

The End

Notes

Hi, thank you for checking this out. This took me weeks to write but I'm very happy with how it turned out.
First of all sorry Mikey fans and I would just like to add I don't wish this one anyone, I hope Mikey does well with Electric Century.
This is just a story I've had in my head for a while which is inspired by his statement regarding his years of depression.
Any how (try to) enjoy