We're All Dead Now!
Real Cowboys Hang 'Em High
“Has the jury reached a verdict?” The judge’s voice boomed in the spacious courtroom.
“We have, your honor. We find the defense, Gerard Arthur Way and Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr., not guilty.” The head juror said. I knew they would see it my way. Lack of enough evidence, along with the small speech I gave, was what convinced them.
“I don’t understand why they would do such a thing!” I had cried. “They’re the two nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I couldn’t imagine them causing something so horrible!” I was, as far as they could see, on the brink of tears. “It’s not like the murders have stopped, anyway. If they’re in jail, how could they be doing it?” They’d never know it was me. They’re simply not intelligent enough.
“Thank you for helping us, Jillian. I think we should celebrate tonight. Let’s make this one extra special.” Frank said as we were walking home.
“I agree. A kind of... present... in a way.” Gerard added. I nodded in agreement.
“Let’s have this be like old times. No planning out who, just luring them in with our ‘kindness’.” I smiled. It’s going to be amazing.
“What with all of the disappearances, we wouldn’t want you to be hurt.” I smiled at the old man.
“No thanks.” The man said, trying to run from us. What a horrible mistake.
“Please, sir. I was just offering.” I said, grasping his arm. “I really think you should come with me.” I smiled.
“Get your hands off of me.” The old man said.
“Then let me just take you down that street to deal with this? Please, I just don’t want to have anything happen to either of us.” I put my innocent face on. He gave in, following me. I led him to the entrance of the house. “This is my house. We could go inside and I could call you a cab. I’ll pay.” I said hopefully.
“Fine. Anything to get away from here.” He replied. He didn’t sound too happy. I unlocked the door, leading him inside. He followed me to the kitchen, where my supposed ‘phone’ was. I sat him down in a chair, leaning his cane against the wall. I slowly took the small knife out of my pocket, turning around and putting it to his neck.
“You’re not going to scream, now, are you?” I asked him, smiling. Frank and Gerard ran in.
“Thank goodness you’re here! This girl’s not right in the brain!” The man said.
“Oh, we’re aware of that, sir. But you see, we aren’t either.” Frank said. I smiled. Time to get back to normal. They love to do everything for me. The man started to talk about everything an old man about to be murdered would talk about. How much trouble we were going to get in, how he would call our parents after we stopped joking around, how the police would be there any second and arrest us.
“If you won’t stop talking, I’m going to have to do something about it.” I warned him. He still refused to stop. I sliced half of a Chelsea Smile onto his face, watching the blood drip as he opened his mouth wide to scream. I stuffed my knife into his mouth, slicing deep into his tongue until it wasn't attached to the rest of him. Blood filled his mouth quickly.
“Congratulations. The angel’s just cut out your tongue.” I smiled. He started coughing, choking on his own blood. Gerard and Frank started ripping into his fleshy body with their knives and hands. Organs feel pretty slippery. His life was dripping to the floor, but its not like anyone would miss him. He was going to die soon, anyway. I finished his smile. Just to add some insult to his injury, I made a noose. It was attached to both the ceiling, and the corpse’s neck. We hung the motherfucker high.
“We have, your honor. We find the defense, Gerard Arthur Way and Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr., not guilty.” The head juror said. I knew they would see it my way. Lack of enough evidence, along with the small speech I gave, was what convinced them.
“I don’t understand why they would do such a thing!” I had cried. “They’re the two nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I couldn’t imagine them causing something so horrible!” I was, as far as they could see, on the brink of tears. “It’s not like the murders have stopped, anyway. If they’re in jail, how could they be doing it?” They’d never know it was me. They’re simply not intelligent enough.
“Thank you for helping us, Jillian. I think we should celebrate tonight. Let’s make this one extra special.” Frank said as we were walking home.
“I agree. A kind of... present... in a way.” Gerard added. I nodded in agreement.
“Let’s have this be like old times. No planning out who, just luring them in with our ‘kindness’.” I smiled. It’s going to be amazing.
“What with all of the disappearances, we wouldn’t want you to be hurt.” I smiled at the old man.
“No thanks.” The man said, trying to run from us. What a horrible mistake.
“Please, sir. I was just offering.” I said, grasping his arm. “I really think you should come with me.” I smiled.
“Get your hands off of me.” The old man said.
“Then let me just take you down that street to deal with this? Please, I just don’t want to have anything happen to either of us.” I put my innocent face on. He gave in, following me. I led him to the entrance of the house. “This is my house. We could go inside and I could call you a cab. I’ll pay.” I said hopefully.
“Fine. Anything to get away from here.” He replied. He didn’t sound too happy. I unlocked the door, leading him inside. He followed me to the kitchen, where my supposed ‘phone’ was. I sat him down in a chair, leaning his cane against the wall. I slowly took the small knife out of my pocket, turning around and putting it to his neck.
“You’re not going to scream, now, are you?” I asked him, smiling. Frank and Gerard ran in.
“Thank goodness you’re here! This girl’s not right in the brain!” The man said.
“Oh, we’re aware of that, sir. But you see, we aren’t either.” Frank said. I smiled. Time to get back to normal. They love to do everything for me. The man started to talk about everything an old man about to be murdered would talk about. How much trouble we were going to get in, how he would call our parents after we stopped joking around, how the police would be there any second and arrest us.
“If you won’t stop talking, I’m going to have to do something about it.” I warned him. He still refused to stop. I sliced half of a Chelsea Smile onto his face, watching the blood drip as he opened his mouth wide to scream. I stuffed my knife into his mouth, slicing deep into his tongue until it wasn't attached to the rest of him. Blood filled his mouth quickly.
“Congratulations. The angel’s just cut out your tongue.” I smiled. He started coughing, choking on his own blood. Gerard and Frank started ripping into his fleshy body with their knives and hands. Organs feel pretty slippery. His life was dripping to the floor, but its not like anyone would miss him. He was going to die soon, anyway. I finished his smile. Just to add some insult to his injury, I made a noose. It was attached to both the ceiling, and the corpse’s neck. We hung the motherfucker high.
7/30/13