Life is Colourless

It feels awful, terrible, horrific to know that we are the only ones who can love. That Mikey, Alicia and the rest of the world will never be able to love again. That no two people will have the connection that Frankie and I do, ever again. Why are they like this though? Is something missing, I don't understand.

Or maybe it's us who are the weird ones. It seems that way, as we're the only ones who can feel love. I'm still amazingly thankful that we can, but why the hell did it have to be us?

This is too much for me to handle right now. On the outside I'm being strong for Frankie's sake. Where is he right now? In the kitchen chatting to my little brother, as if there was nothing wrong. I don't need this. I'm dying right now, and this is far from helping. But I do know what will help.

I don't even need to think about this anymore. I run over to my wardrobe, open it and start rummaging inside of it. I can't find the box, where is it? Frankie would have told me if he'd moved it, wouldn't he? Never mind, I got it. It can be hard to find sometimes, as it's a sleek, black box among all of my black clothes.

I open the box and stick my hand inside, not caring which one comes out. The thin, metal strip glints in the sunlight as I drag it across my wrist for the first time. The little droplets of blood begin to form, I watch as they run down to my wrist. Then I notice something else.

'Shit!' I say, dropping my blade as I slam my hand over my mouth. What the fuck did you do that for, you little shit?! Now someone will hear you and come up here and find out your little secret.

I listen for a moment, and when I'm confident that no-one's coming I go to the bathroom and get the first aid kit. One little cut, turned out to be quite deep, and it's not gonna stop bleeding anytime soon.

As I walk to the bathroom, I think about what I observed earlier. Everything is in black and white, except one emotion, Victor says. The box I keep my blades in, and the blade itself were distinctly more hued than the rest of the world. The blood was red. A startlingly bright blood red colour. Colour!

I think I may have figured out what the missing emotion is...

Notes

Hey guys! Happy New Year! What are your resolutions?

Sorry I didn't update, shit (also goes by the name of life) happened. Me and my girlfriends 2 month anniversary was on the 29th and she was my inspiration to stop starving myself and self-harming. I hurt myself again on the 29th after I was clean for about 7 weeks. I just feel like I've broken everything we had, even if she doesn't know. I love you, Misty xx