My secretary walks in to hand me the file for the next people who’re going to barge into my room, yell at me about their stolen cat, and expect me to do something about it. Well guess fucking what. I can’t. The person who stole your cat, who, in the end, the cat will be the last thing you worry about if you get on the wrong side of me, isn’t going to show up at my door, cat in hand, and say ‘Here’s the damn cat, just have it. There really wasn’t a point to taking it or anything. I just. Fucking. Felt like it’

I don’t think I need to say how much I hate this job. The only reason I partake in this torture is the fact that maybe, just maybe, one day, the easiest case alive walks in, and it only takes me somewhere near 5 seconds to solve. I become famous, leave this shit-hole, and get on with whatever the hell I want to.

I take a look at the clock. 2:12. Time to pretend I read the folder, and then, as politely as I can, invite the knob-heads inside my disgusting office, and have them talk my face of about a damaged garden gnome.

I stick my head outta the door, mutter something not far from unintelligible about them getting in here, and get my butt back in my crappy chair. It was broken when we moved here, for God’s sake.The men walk into my office. The tall, thin one with white hair just stares at the floor, like he’s trying to work out how many stains there are on the carpet. Huh. Good luck, mate.

Then I see the other one. Long black hair, framing his pale face and chocolatey-brown eyes. He isn’t smiling, his face looks blank, deep in thought. I look at my folder; Frank Iero. It’s beautiful. It sounds like hero, and that’s what he could be to me. My hero, my one and only. I’ve never felt like this before. I feel like I can’t breathe, like if I do it’ll look stupid. Like if I do anything it’ll look stupid.

I look down at my folder again. The other ones’ name is Gerard Way. It doesn’t state the link between them. They don’t look like brothers. Friends then. I hope. If this Gerard gets in the way of this God stood in front of me, then he can say goodbye to life. By the looks of him, he’ll invite it in, rather than try to escape. Little emo dickhead.

After quickly skimming through the file, I’m able to stutter my way through a half-professional conversation about this Gerard’s brother or some shit. After the initial questions, I hear that he’s been kidnapped. I’m immediately more alert when I hear this. Kidnapped? Maybe I don’t need to kill Gerard, just make his think that is brother, who he loves so dearly, is dead. That’ll hurt him enough to do what I would’ve done, won’t it? I fucking hope so.

I ask some more questions, while thinking about the best way to reach Frank. He’s obviously so in love with emo boy. He would do anything for him, by the looks of it. So, if I want to get Frank, I need to pretend that I have a lead on Mikey. This can so happen. But, I also want to make him think that I’m normal. That I don’t love him. So I pretend that I have a loved one, who went away with the whole ‘black and white’ shit. The only time I’m gonna use those drama lessons, I’m sure.

Once the session is over, the main thing I can use is the fact that he’s a scientist. These douchebags seem to think that someone might kidnap him because he’s smart. Huh. Funny. No-one wants smarts, it’s about looks. And that Mr. Iero, is something you have a lot of.

Notes