I don’t know how long I’ve been walking around the school for a tour with my mother or a student that goes by the name Alicia. She’s apparently going to be in the same year group as myself, which is an advantage, I guess. At least I’d know at least one person here... And she seems pretty nice, too. We have the same music taste and everything... It’s too bad I’m gay.

And speaking of being gay, I wonder how many jocks would attempt to smash my face in when they find out... Luckily I had Benno back in my old school, but obviously not anymore. It was only then that it had occurred to me that I was relying on that boy a lot more than myself; making me seem weak and defenceless against anybody who I got in the way of. I started to run many scenarios of what could have happened if I had just stood up for myself back then in my head, and though I wasn’t the smartest kid, I still knew that I wouldn’t have had a chance.

I lowered my head and shook it slightly with a frustrated sigh, thinking back to the last time I had been with Benno. If I could think of something that I may have done wrong, then maybe I can--

“Frank?” Alicia cuts my thoughts short with a questioning yet concerned tone, and I lift my gaze from my shoes and the floor to meet her olive green coloured eyes, concern indeed swimming around in them. I just try to force a smile in her general direction before lowering my head again, not wanting to go into details of what I had been thinking prior.
“I’m fine, it’s just... I don’t like being the new kid...” I half lied. I’ve never actually been the new kid to any school, but it’s true that I don’t like the feeling.

I mean, I’ve seen plenty of others that had arrived at my old school, and none had seemed to get along with many other kids, seeing as everyone had already gathered in their ‘groups’ or what not. I, for one, actually didn’t like being in large groups of people who mostly always claim that you’re their friend, when they can’t even pronounce my surname correctly. It’s why I always stuck with Benno; he knew everything about me, and I knew--

No, wait...

I [i]thought[/i] I could trust him with anything...

Obviously not.

I let out another small sigh at the sound of my name being called, and I once again lift my gaze from the floor that had suddenly held a whole wad of interest within each small and turquoise-coloured tile. However this time, it was my mother’s calm voice that filled the quietness of the room. I had then only just realised that we had been stood in one of the science labs, and the soft voices in the background had been small talk between my mom and the science teacher. My first initial thought was that he looked quite young to be a teacher, and I frowned slightly at the thought. The man had glossy hair that had a chestnut tint to it, and he was pretty slim-built; even his white and pale blue striped work shirt seemed to be a size or two larger than others that I had once seen in other business places or in shop windows downtown.

“It’s getting a little late; we should be heading home now if we want to be there in time for when your grandfather comes to visit.” I nodded quickly to her statement after turning my attention away from my future science teacher and returned the small smile that my mom had sent me, and we both headed back to the car after saying our goodbyes and thanking both Alicia and the teacher. Of course, I didn’t even listen out for his name.

--

To say that I had hurried up the stairs to my room when we had gotten home was a complete and utter understatement, but at that point in time I couldn’t have cared less. I mean, come on. How would you react if you were expecting something that had something to do with half of your life now?

I was more than disappointed when I had entered my room and saw nothing where it shouldn’t have been though, but I decided to close the door behind me and look around anyway; just in case.

There was nothing that I didn’t recognise under or around my rather small-sized bed, and it seemed to stay that way for all over my room as I searched through it. I had even found my old set of earphones that I had lost years ago and a couple of basically worthless coins, but of course, they were nothing compared to what I was attempting to look for; whatever that was going to turn out to be.

I was just about to search through my room’s content for the second time, when suddenly there was a strong knock at the old and worn wooden door that made me jump out of my skin. I had grabbed my guitar, named Pansy in relation to the one name I had been known as at my old school, and jumped on my bed as an impulse; pretending that I was spending my time with her all along.

“Come in!” I called out, and my door slowly clicked open to reveal my grandfather. His lips had formed into a genuine smile as he approached me, and I noticed that he was holding something behind his back. I was guessing that this could be a ‘get well soon’ gift; though the time for those things seemed to have passed by now. And now that I come to think about it, I don’t think I even got one of those sorts of presents when I had awoken from my extended slumber. I decided to push this thought out of my head though, and pay attention to one of my seemingly closest relatives.

“Well,” He started, moving to take a seat beside me on my bed, “[i]Somebody’s[/i] looking good after spending almost a month in hospital!” He chuckled, and I playfully rolled my eyes as I giggled a little along with him.
“It’s nice to see you too, grandpa.” I smiled, and he patted my shoulder with his free hand as I placed Pansy on the bed before turning my full attention to him.

His hair had seemed as though it looked more aged; its entire colour now completely lost to leave behind a dull grey colour that resembled the colour of a thick storm cloud, compared to the faint black tint that it had had the last time that I had seen him just a month or two ago. Though thankfully, his facial features and the softness of his hazel eyes haven’t changed a bit, save from the wrinkles that had began to deepen on his forehead and cheek bones. I had always seemed to find comfort in those eyes of his... Whether they remind me of my father before he had left or if they are just as soft and kind looking as they seemed to be, for myself at least; I’m not quite sure.

“So... I’m pretty sure that you know I’ve brought you something, right?” My grandfather asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, though I still grinned like a little child and nodded my head wildly. I’ve always loved it when he brought gifts, because it seemed like he was the only family member on my father’s side that actually took into account of what I was in to; things like music and movie wise. I mean, almost a year ago for my 16th birthday my auntie had bought me a CD of a band that I hadn’t have even heard of, yet alone almost the whole of the school too, I had guessed. It looked to be years old, and I’m talking about before I was even fucking born, and when my mum wasn’t too far from my age back then. She may have had me at an early age, but still.

“Alright, here; just don’t hurt yourself!” He chuckled a little at my reaction, and held out a neatly wrapped gift. I could tell that it was a book of some sort when I took it from his careful hands, and placed it on my lap before starting to remove the black paper that had countless white coloured stars that looked like they had been etched into the paper. I’m pretty sure he saves this wrapping paper for me only, as he’s been using this for as long as I can remember.

That’s another great thing about my grandfather; he reminds me of my childhood, and for once, [i]not[/i] the type of childhood where I had to spend all of my time indoors, unless I had to attend school or if I was accompanied with a parent when I went out of the house any other time; even when I had wanted to go into the [i]back garden[/i], at least one of my parents or other family members had been with me. And this had only stopped a year or two ago. Now I was 16 and going on to be 17 in less than a month, and so I was getting close to being treated more like an adult... Even if I had the height of an average 12 year old, being at 4ft 10inches and the shortest 16 or 17 year old I have ever known of, unfortunately.

But anyways; he always manages to remind me of times like when he had helped me learn my very first few chords on the guitar, or when we would go to the park one day and count how many puddles were able to splash up to my waist if I jumped into them. The [i]good[/i] yet few memories I have that I naturally cling onto for when I may be in need of when I’m more under the weather than usual, or for when I have to remind myself of how lucky I am to actually have this man in my life, and to try and forget about all of the assholes at school that don’t seem to even appreciate their mothers.

Once I had managed to remove all traces of the wrapping paper from my surprise gift, I was immediately in awe when my eyes caught sight of the hardback cover of the book that was sealed with thin plastic. I twisted and turned it at different angles in attempt to inspect every detail, though I’m sure it would have taken hours to name [i]everything[/i] that had been illustrated on the cover itself, ignoring the metallic red outlines of every page the book held within the cover.

I managed to make out small yet obvious markings on the black cover of the book, such as knives, broken halos and two male symbols joint together, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find any trace of writing whatsoever. No title, no author; not even any letters.

I glanced up at my grandfather questionably after my inspection, to find him smiling down at my fingers carefully curled around the edges of the book, before meeting my own gaze. He seemed to notice my slight confusion as to why he had gotten me this mysterious piece of literature, and decided to elaborate for me, which I was grateful for at this point.

“I was walking to your house this morning,” He started, smiling yet again as he paused for a second, “when I walked past this small corner shop, just on the outskirts of town. They had all sorts of things in the window that I know you’d love to take a look at, though I’m sure they’re quite new... I think I would have heard you talking on and on about this place if you’d seen it before.” He explained, giving me a slight nudge as I smiled and listened intently to what he had to say. “So anyway... I was walking past this shop, when this book here caught my eye. I’m not sure [i]why[/i] I had walked in and bought it, actually... It was almost as if I had lost complete control of myself and just walked in, took the book without a second glance, bought it and walked out again before I had even thought about [i]you[/i] being interested in it.” He laughed a little, but I myself had to forge my own slight giggle.

Something seemed to click in my head that this wasn’t [i]normal[/i], but no matter how hard I tried to think about it, nothing came to mind. Normally, when my grandfather buys me something, he always goes into tremendous detail in explaining where he had gotten the gift from, what the place looked like, [i]why[/i] the item had caught his eye in the first place, and how it made him think of me before buying it. This time, he had only said that it was a supposedly new corner shop, and that the book was in the window of the shop. To me, this was fucking [i]suspicious[/i].

I was interrupted from my deep thinking when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, and I blinked a couple of times before looking up to once again meet my grandpa’s concerned face.

“Frank, are you alright?” He asked hesitantly, and I frowned in confusion. “You stopped listening to what I was saying and wouldn’t even look up when I called your name... Is something bothering you, bud?” He then asked, and I only screwed up my face more.
“You didn’t say anything after you told me you just went in and bought the book without thinking about it,” I stated, though I closed my mouth when he shook his head with a frown now embedded on his own face.
“I told you that I had walked straight home after I had bought the book to wrap it up, before heading back over here. I also apologised why I was late because of this... Did you not hear [i]any[/i] of what I had said then?” He asked, and I hesitantly shook my head.

“I must have momentarily zoned out... Sorry grandpa.” I apologised, and he gave me a half smile before gently patting my shoulder and moving to stand up.
“It’s alright, bud. I guess you’ve got a lot of things on your plate right now, and I’ve got to be on my way home now anyway. My dinner won’t cook itself, and I’m sure you’ll be having yours soon, too.” I nodded in agreement and smiled as he did, and we said our goodbyes before he left my room and shut the door behind him.

Now, I guess I have some reading to do.